October 2012 babies - over here nobbers!

[Smorgs]

This really will be the thread where all our babies start sleeping through the night... right?!

squid's comment below resonated with me:
I like exercise because it shifts my focus from what my body looks like to what it can do.

Were there some comments before about when it is advisable to exercise post birth? I am taking it easy and listening to any twinges from my body.

going to enter me and dp in a 10k run in May - nver done this before so may be aiming high but figure can always walk part of it if necessary. Good to have a goal to aim for though.

Orenshii I would ring tax credits if I were you, but do it soon because they will only back date it one month.

Weaning sorry if I came across as pushy. This is the link I was referring to. I'm not being a judgy pants honest (I weaned DS at 17 weeks and did purees) but I feel that the current advice in the UK does not allow parents to make an informed choice so I hope the link is helpful. That said, I dont think it makes a jot of difference to the child in the long run if you do purees or BLW. BLW just appeals to me, seems easier and makes sense.

DD has been really unsetteld today. I am tired!

FFS I've asked DH to take over a while and he's just tried to hand her over after 10 minutes! I've been feeding and rocking her for 10 hours! I said "I asked you to take over for a bit", his response was "I did" . 10 MINUTES!

smorgs don't feel bad, I bet you feel fabulous. Over here I'm ringing the tiny bell of waking every 3 hours but never mind...

Went clothes shopping a couple of weeks ago and I couldn't get into a pair of jeans in my normal size so gave up on the clothes and bought 3 pairs of shoes instead. Including a thundercats pair of converse - made me feel a lot better and un-mummy like...

squid love that analogy about work colleagues, that's just what it feels like. I really like the children's centre groups, I think dd really enjoys looking round at the other babies and mums, thou I'm a bit worried she's just looking for a better offer!

PELVIC FLOORS

Squid you legend!

Wantan- whaaaaat? Ten minutes?? Go and run a bath and lock the door. He needs to share the load - you must be exhausted! Massive hugs.

wantan your DH needs reprogramming, cheeky blighter!

squid your posts are so helpful re exercise and diet, thank you

re sleep we get 5-6 wakings a night clustered between 1 and 7am. Often I am awake solidly from 2-5 as every time I feed her she drops off then wails when put back in her crib. it is horrendous but I know one day it will stop. Hate hate hate weeknights though

squid thanks so much for your reminder about how much our bodies CAN and HAVE done! I keep stressing about what I can't do, namely walk long distances or run as I'm in the prolapse club and it gets pretty uncomfortable after a while.

I'm with Angelico... I know I'm not too far off my preprggo weight (not that I've done much to get there, just was lucky and didn't put too much on, although was probably 5kg overweight to start) but things don't fit when they should... kinda like I'm still 3 or 4kg heavier. My guess is that i now just have no muscle, just fat, so bulkier but lighter if that makes sense? So totally feeling the same as some of the rest of yous. Haven't managed to get a haircut for months as relies on DH being around to hold DD for appointment so my 'short' hair is almost shoulder length... and need to see how to plait flowers into my floor length ladygarden londonmrs DH would die of laughing I think.

Oh and arggggghhhhhh to the totally inadequate wardrobes.... now we can only wear things we can Bf in public in. And then it's also got to be something not covered in baby spew too. When my mum came to visit in November she brought me some clothes then gave them to me and said 'oh these probably won't fit as you said you hadn't put on any weight' . how can you be pregnant and not put on any weight? And they were totally impractical things I could never breast feed in anyway. I know that sounds really ungrateful, but I have told her god knows how many times not to buy me clothes, because she buys me things that never fit! I've never been a size 8 and never will be!

huffle Yay for the self settling could you send minihuffle this way to teach minismiles about going to sleep by herself? Will throw in some au naturale free vitamin D Last 2 nights I have got DD to sleep (on me) then she has woken just after going into bassinet... 1st night managed to get her back to sleep with shhhh pat, but last night no chance! More perserverance needed.

Arrggghhhhh sleep... For those of you with bubbas sleeping normally (3 hr stretches) at the moment... the consolation is that the babies that sleep for longer stretches early on seem to have trouble from around 6 months and often go back to short sleeps again. One of the ladies in my coffee group has a baby who started sleeping through at 2 weeks old then got to about 8weeks and got colicky and now wakes heaps. So they totally change overnight, and I still do a happy dance every time we have a good sleep. Just think, when they're teenagers we'll be desperately trying to make them get OUT of bed
And from reading posts on here it seems like 10-11 weeks is a common time for sleep to start getting worse... for anyone that's there at the moment, it WILL come right again just not f&$^$ soon enough .

elpis thanks for the Vit D info. Even though it's summer here we might not be getting enough as I'm so paranoid about the sun (no naked skin goes un slathered in sunscreen here) with our sun being so intense. Maybe have to start going outside uncovered in the morning before it gets too intense.

I think we'll be trying BLW.... kinda like the idea that bubs can go anywhere with me and really just eat what I'm eating (with a few exceptions) Although the mess My SIL is doing it at the moment and has cous cous and mushed banana from 1 end of the house to the other! Mum told me i was far better off to force feed bubba from a spoon, just as she did to us, so I know they're getting enough...but I told her that force feeding was linked to obesity which is probably why we've always struggled so much with weight and I would be doing it my own way! (Sorry fjord and anyone else, I don't actually have strong views either way on the subject but just didn't like being told I had to do it her way!)
ahhhhhh the bean is screaming so must go!

DH are having a date night... At home! Restaurant chic baby! I am all hair washed, pumped and preened in my finery, candles lit, slushy songs on, Tesco meal deal yumminess in the oven...bliss! Ds is a wee gooseberry but that is ok!! Happy Friday nobbers!!

I am trying A New Thing. Usually we keep mini yomping downstairs with us tilill 10 then I take her to bed and feed her to sleep. In a bid to get our evenings back we are trialling an earlier bedtime and hopefully a dream feed. First mistake, giving her a bath before bed. She hasn't liked baths recently but I thought I'd persevere. Bad plan, cue mammoth hour long feed afterwards, probably to calm herself back down. So I haven't quite managed the planned bedtime of 8pm but I'm just about to put her down for her first sleep, hoping she will sleep till 11 when I can give her a dream feed.

Wish me luck!

Manic day of visiting friend then NCT then friend so no time to read or post. Just having quick read while I express before going to bed.

Most importantly... you are all LOVELY. Thank you for moral support re lack of sleep. Hopefully it will get better in time.

On the weight front I'm doing ok - the no dairy diet seems to be pretty effective for me. No croissants, no cakes and limited biscuits. And toast with sunflower spread isn't nearly as nice as that with butter. So every cloud a silver lining etc.

Will write more tomorrow

I am sick of my husband helping for about 10 seconds and then getting so stressed that he hands her straight back to me. I know he's tired but I'm starting to feel like a single parent. that's not what I signed up for.

October and Londonmrs I was just looking at your baby weights from yesterday... October 14lb 14oz is between the 75th and 91st percentile for boys at 11 weeks here and Londonmrs 12lb 11oz is between 50th and 75th percentile for girls at 11 weeks... conclusion NZ boys are skinnier than UK ones and NZ girls are fatter, so it's a good place to be female I was quite surprised how much difference there is in the boys and girls charts!

And a friend of mine has a 5.5month old boy who is just tipping 5.5kg (think that's around 12lb) was born small at 36 weeks. HVs not worried as is gaining weight and healthy, just teeny (0.4 percentile)

Arghhh londonmrs and he probably totally thinks and tells people that he's helping so much too! At least he can't break you washing machine/any other houselold appliance for those 10 seconds

Argh. You're all lovely. Most men are nobbers, our bodies are bloody amazing. Sleep is a luxury we did not acknowledge in our former lives. As are hair free legs and hot cups of tea.

All I can manage. . Ooof. Positive night vibes to all
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Dream feed successful in that she fed (not convinced it was much though) and didn't want up, which is an achievement given that I also have her some Colief in a few drops of milk first. I'm now holding her until she is back in deep sleep, maybe one day I'll be brave enough to just put her straight down.

Have to say, my DH is being brilliant. Mainly because he is not saying "Yomping, stop getting so stressed about a routine and working everything out down to the minute and having control over everything, sit down and bloody relax!". Although I'm sure that was what he was thinking. Lovely to just lie on the sofa with him while she slept though. Almost wished I had flowers plaited into my pubes to show him...

So I'm pondering... how does one marry feeding on demand with having a set bedtime? Surely the set bedtime means a set evening feed, but feeding on demand means that the baby may not have fed very long before that and so may not want much and so may not take in enough to sleep for very long.

On here trying not to listen to bean screaming as DH tries to settle her into bed for the night. He is so willing to do stuff and I don't want to become 'gatekeeper' mum but it is killing me as I can pretty much get her settled and into cot in ten seconds flat :( And she is REALLY going for it. But if I cave in and go up how am I ever going to go away anywhere overnight ever again? Plus he is very hands on and I don't want him to lose confidence. Gah.

Bella hope you had a lovely datenight :) and that DS wasn't too much of a gooseberry! :o

Yomping you'll probably find that the bean adapts to bedtime and then wants to feed at that time, over a few nights IYSWIM.

And :o at the flowers in pubes :o

I am about ten seconds away from caving. It is physically painful hearing her screaming like that :( :( :(

told DH that I feel to much like I'm doing this alone. he confessed that he feels useless- because he's working a lot and spends less time with the little one, he doesn't know what to do when she cries so he feels like she hates him. feel a bit sorry for him but reminded him that the only way to improve that is to spend more time with her.
also reminded him that I don't bloody know what I'm doing either.
we're friends again. we had a long chat and have agreed to approach this as a team like we always have been.
he's still a dopey oaf though.

yay sounds good londonmrs . My nephew was such a mummy's boy noone else could hold him, not even his dad, without him screaming for 4 months! His dad was pretty upset by it, but now Dad is the best She'll come round too.

yomping bedtime is the only time I say 'minismiles you must eat now!' She doesn't normally complain about the eating, but sometimes about the sleeping . It's not a fixed in stone time, just whenever fits with the time she last woke up best, but between 7 and 8pm. Have found if I go later than 8 (because I've let her nap later) she will not be put down... just wakes up and cries, so have to be pretty strict on it if I want an hour to ourselves! And DF 9.30-10pm... again if I go much later she wakes earlier??? So persevere with it and if it's not working, pull the time forward a bit and see if it helps at all. They all seem to have their own little on/off clocks (shame there's no on/off button to match!)

Funny now, dream feed did not work at all here. It sounded the beginnings of crap sleep. But that may have been coincidence of timing.

I can only agree about bedtime feed. Doesn't matter how long ago DS had previous feed. He knows that after bath, bedroom for drying and new clothes (aka pjs!) he has feed then sleep.

London so glad you had that chat.

Angelico hope you didn't give in.

DS back asleep, yay!

Hmm, limited success. Early bed at 9 OK, dream feed at 10:45 OK. Rest of night not so good. Up for feeds at 2,4 and 7:45. Took a long time to settle from feeds. Is it just because it's new and she's not used to it and wants the comfort of knowing there's still food if she wakes needing it? I guess I should persevere for a couple of days to see if it gets better but it's all so confusing . I don't want to get her out of the habit of a longer sleep if she was just getting into it (which she was) but neither do I want to wait too long before getting her used to an earlier bedtime, because our evenings of taking turns to hold a fractious baby while we try to juggle dinner, feeding her, comforting her, getting ourselves ready for bed and actually having a catch up with each other have limited appeal!

The earlier bedtime with a dream feed thrown in made sense because surely if I tried to move her final bedtime earlier by 20mins or so each day without adding an extra feed, all that would happen is she would wake up 20mins earlier too... I figure she's not going to magically sleep for longer just because I put her down earlier, and an 11-6 main sleep is vastly preferable to an 8-3 one. I'd really welcome thoughts and advice on this. What would you do?

Hope everybody else' s night was good/bearable depending on your expectations!

Hmm, after a quick trawl through the MN archives, consensus is that dream feeds have limited success and can actually unsettle baby so that they wake more in night. (yes, I'm looking at you, mini yomping!). Should I stuck with it for a few more nights or just abandon ship, put her down at 8 instead of 11 and accept that the trade off for an evening with DH is waking for a night feed for a while longer? Argh!

Yomping it really is so fucking confusing. I tend to "go with" things more than you, but I was also given a sleeper, so that's easy for me to say! I still think it's quite early to be able to give a baby a routine. If they like it and go with it that's great, but I'm viewing it like a bonus not a goal.

In my experience putting Jess down earlier did NOT mean she woke up earlier. In fact I tend to find sleep helps sleep - ie if she gets good naps in the day and goes down early, she sleeps best. I think babies can get over tired and hard to put down.

In reply to your other question about feeds before sleep - initially she needed a monster feed before going down for the night (we get 9-12 hours here! please don't hate me) but now she doesn't. She feeds almost every hour through the day, which is exhausting, and she doesn't nap well in the day and needs to be held to do so, but she doesn't feed at all between 6pm and 5am. I guess it's no different to adults who eat 3 times (or more!) in the day and don't get hungry over night.

Our routine, if it helps you to know - I feed normally on demand throughout the day and she takes a last feed about 6pm. Then boyfriend tries to put her down in the other room to settle herself in moses basket with a lullaby and her nightlight. If it doesn't work he brings her back through and we let her fall asleep in his arms and then he puts her down. She is generally quite easy to put down in the evening (days are another story!) So she goes to sleep between 7 and 8pm. I take her in the bed at 5am (she is thrashing about rooting by this point, but not actually awake) and she has a long feed (usually an hour) which I sleep during . I like to get up at 6am so this suits me. She goes back to sleep usually and stays in bed with her dad, they both get up about 7.30/8am. I have been anxious about her going so long without feeding, I wonder if her great night sleep is why she is impossible to put down in the day... but this was very babyled and just how she seems to like to be.

I don't know if any of that is helpful to you... babies vary so much. I certainly don't take any credit for it (and generally try not to talk about how well she sleeps on here, in case people are demoralised!)

Londonmrss
Glad you made up
Boyfriend is also having crisis of confidence as now he is back at work I am "better" with her than him. I find it helps to have things that only dad does - our main one is bedtime - he always puts her to bed.
It's so annoying when they ask you how to do something neither of you have ever done before! I'm like, I have no special knowledge or experience here!

Yay for the weekend. Have done 2 feeds, expressed half a bottle (trying to build up a freezer stock for a no-babies wedding in March), had brekkie... going to do my final 5K run of the c25K programme when boyfriend wakes up. He has also told me I'm to go into town and buy myself a couple of bits of new clothes. I hope something will fit...

ugh. shit night. and a shit day ahead of me.

bearhugs mickey

Big mug of coffee, love?