October 2012 babies - over here nobbers!

[Smorgs]

This really will be the thread where all our babies start sleeping through the night... right?!

Hi
I've not posted for a while/ages but have been trying to keep up.

livvy just wanted to say my DD is not sleeping for long stretches either. In fact at the moment we are only getting 2 hours or less between wake ups in the night. We have only ever had 4/5 hour stretches but they seem to have disappeared recently. I find it very disheartening when I see other mums at baby groups etc whose babies sleep well. Yesterday we went to baby massage and baby olives had a massive meltdown and screamed and screamed. I just felt so inadequate! Then chatting to the other mums they were all saying how well their babies sleep at night. Came home and cried. I am holding out hope though that this is some sort of 12 week growth spurt and things will magically improve next week! DD was 12 weeks yesterday.

londonlivvy i had a shit night too. big hugs. i am like a zombie this morning and ive got to go shopping with SIL. i cant afford it

nobber DH is taking DD to see his nobbing ex girlfriend tomorrow. i cannot explain why i am so annoyed about this I Cant fucking stand the bitch but i dont want to say that he cant go.

Oh and apologies for suddenly jumping into the thread. I was posting before Christmas but lost things for a while and have just started trying to catch up but the thread moves so quickly it's hard!!

Yes yes to sick of looking and feeling shit. I unpacked all my pre-baby clothes and realised it was pointless trying to wear them anyway, since they're not exactly breastfeeding friendly! I need to find some fifties style shirt dresses - open at the front for easy access, big full skirt to hide a multitude of sins!

I think i win an award for looking worst - never mind that i barely wash my hair every 4 or 5 days when it really needs it every other day, I decided to try and do my roots the other day. Picked a natural product - so no bleach or ammonia and figured it would be quite mild but it wasn't, it went orange. I didn't realise, in my haste to do it while DS was asleep, that I missed a massive patch round the back. It's almost a big square of darker hair amongst orange blonde :(

And to add insult to injury, two different charity shop ladies, while cooing over DS, asked me when my second was due while looking at my belly :( I gasped in shock and indignation that I'd only just had my first baby! GOD! Not only are they mistaking my stupid big uterus-not-gone-down belly for a baby, but DS is only 11 weeks and obviously so - how could I possibly be pregnant?!

I literally give up on looking nice. It almost makes it worse that DH keeps telling me I look like a beautiful natural mother, and keeps trying to grope me. I feel like...how can he possibly mean it when I look such a mess??

Anyway yay yay to all the babies sleeping through. londonlivvy don't despair, it will happen! Remember, this is just a phase, it will pass :)

Yomping i keep hearing about these drops and you must be right about breastmilk, surely?? we didn't opt for the injection at DS's birth because we read a MW manual about how breastmilk immediately on birth did so much more of a better job and i just sorta feel like - why do they keep suggesting we put supplements in our babies??

Baby massage is so awesome - one of my very favourite things.

Morning all

Here's the NHS advice on supplements - sorry, not sure how to do a live link in-app:

www.nhs.uk/conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/pages/vitamins-for-children.aspx

It recommends a supplement for bf babies from 6mo onwards (formula is fortified with vitamin D). If you didn't take vit D yourself during pregnancy, it suggests giving the drops earlier.

Am also surprised by all the good sleepers on this thread! I'm very lucky in that DS isn't a screamer and hasn't had colic, but his feeding patterns are capricious. He feeds around 10pm and I put him in his cot after that. God it's lovely to stretch out in bed. He generally then wakes around 1am for a snack, at which point I take him into my bed and we both return to sleep. I don't track times after that, but I reckon he wakes around every hour from 4.30am or so for more little snacks. This is bearable because I don't have to go anywhere, just open my Kindle so he can see to latch on.

Hey ladies,
think we need some group hugs and cups of tea (too early for !) for the sleep deprived and the frizzy haired and the vomit covered and those feeling like they look minging. My inner feminist rages that women are supposed to be getting "back in shape" after growing a whole new human being, but of course I am a giant hypocrite and feel exactly the same way.

(This is another reason I am so nervous about being a mum to a girl! I am writing a list of things I am not allowed to say around Jess, like "fat". )

I am a bit further on postnatally than most of you and these things were really helpful

• haircut
• leg wax
• exercise
• eating healthy food

but these things aren't

-restricting food (especially if breastfeeding or exercising)
-SCALES (I use a measuring tape if i have to - i lost 3 inches off my waist in december! so how do bloody jeans still not fit )

I like exercise because it shifts my focus from what my body looks like to what it can do. Other things my body can do: get pregnant, grow whole new mini person, deliver mini person, nurture mini person...

Sorry, this is probably not massively helpful/you all think I'm a giant hypocrite. My body feels a lot better this month and I'm definitely getting smaller though I'm not weighing myself - is that encouraging? I hope so... It is slow progress though, I see changes monthly rather than weekly. I have not dieted at all though I am making the effort to eat good amounts of nutritious food.

I had a nice day yesterday after 2 rather slothful days - went for a long walk with jess in the pushchair, ate lunch and cup of tea in the park while she slept, was out all day with cloth nappies and no leaks (yay!), went to baby yoga which was lovely, wandered home via grocers, saw my mum and cooked her tea. Also me and boyfriend got to pop to the pub next door without baby for an hour - we felt so naughty and had a beer each and giggled a lot. My mum is a wise old bird and is encouraging me to make the effort to go to baby groups, she says not to focus on making friends there, more to view baby-rearing as a job and jobs are easier if you have workmates you can have a chat to. That's a good way of thinking about it so I'm going to make more of an effort.

There is a "baby sensory" group I really want to try next week, looks fab, the sort of thing WantanOrange is often talking about.

I still don't get the supplement thing but thanks for the link Elpis Surely if you're breastfeeding, you make sure your diet is full of nutrient rich food anyway? Pretty much all of those items listed make up my diet. I feel like it's basically saying breast milk isn't good enough, so give these artificial things to your baby. I'll probably end up doing it but it just adds to the general feeling of natural is not best, that we have to inject and supplement everything.

As for the daylight thing - what do people do in countries that have long periods of little to no sunlight?

livvy sympathies - not all the babies are doing long stretches tho! I was up 3 times to feed last night and am currently juggling a very defiant toddler and a screaming baby. today officially sucks. have headache from hell and am swimming through thick treacle.

thanks elpis
My doctor at 6 week check said she wasn't that worried about jess getting vitamin D drops as I said I go outside a lot... will reconsider.

orenishii trying to picture your hair

squid apparently in England the sun isn't powerful enough between October and may-ish to create vitamin d, which is why deficiencies are so prevalent.

Crazy picture a mess!

Livvy, we still have about 3 feeds a night here. I think that's actually the norm (DD is 10 weeks) and other ladies here are lucky!

Mickey - what the fuuuuuuuuuck?! I'd be going mental if DH wanted to take DD to see the bitch.

Love you squid, you always make me feel better. Genuinely inspirational. Sounds like you get it from your mum; love the idea of seeing it as a job. I think that reframe will really help me when I'm struggling.

Hmm. I was very concern about vitamin D an I asked the HV when DD was born. She looked at me like I was being PFB. I am concerned, particularly as I'm darker skinned - we don't metabolise Vit D as well. There was a sad story in the summer about a baby that was taken into care as SS thought his parents were physically amusing him. Turns out that he was EBF and was getting nowhere enough D so his poor wee bones were breaking (family were black).

Second squid in recommending a haircut. It's the only time I've been out without either DC since birth. God. I need to get a life. A bit of a bit of a life.

I tend to leave DS squirming on his changing mat while I do things like waxing and plucking. He enjoys repeatedly knocking over empty plastic bottles - it's just baby skittles, isn't it? - and gazing at the pattern of his sister's pyjamas. We have a chat about whoever's talking rubbish on R4. Then we switch to another station to see if he enjoys the music. He likes watching me dance to Jailhouse Rock. Not many people would say that.

Sunlight obviously helps with vit D, but I don't know how much sunlight we're all getting this winter. Oreniishi - I agree with your instinct that giving them supplements feels unnecessary. If you eat lots of foods containing D then it's probably fine. But given many of us are deficient in it, I think the contents of breastmilk may reflect that. This Kellymom piece suggests taking a supplement yourself would do the trick. Then you could avoid giving your baby drops. kellymom.com/nutrition/vitamins/vitamin-d/

mickey I would also be seriously unhappy. why in God's name does he think that's a good idea???

Just weighing in (har de har!) on the whole weight loss thing. I think I've felt the pressure less than some of you because
a) I was overweight when I got pregnant so didn't have to mourn a perfect figure (that ship had already sailed so to speak... :o)
b) I'm actually over a stone lighter than I was pre-pregnancy (but still need to lose about 1.5-2 stone ideally)

BUT weirdly although I am a stone lighter my body does seem to have changed. Clothes I wore pre-pregnancy should by rights be hanging off me having lost so much weight - but they're not My tum is more pronounced and my thighs / hips still seem slightly wider than before. This all seems to defy the laws of physics since I'm lighter so not sure how I'm actually bigger. Can only assume everything has kind of stretched and sagged. And still thinking about doing the whole bloody thing again in a few months time so God knows what shape I'll end up

Anyway I try to eat reasonably well - this will get easier when all the Christmas stuff has gone into me or the bin and I make a point of going a walk every day along the coast (I walk two lampposts further every day :o) unless it is completely wild. Hoping this will help. I do panic a bit when I think about memorable photos e.g. christening / book publicity but just need to try and be healthy really.

My hv said s long s I'm taking vitamin d like during pregnancy, that's ok. Is this not true? sick of conflicting advice.
bora that it's a sad story, but your typo made me giggle "physically amusing him". The evil bastards!

In answer to your question Orenishii, in countries with less daylight we give our babies vitamin d drops or (shudder) cod liver oil (although the latter avoided by most expats who don't want their babies to smell like rotten fish) both of which are at first given to us free by the health visitors. As we feed DD some formula we don't use our drops daily but give them in addition as the amount of formula we use wouldn't contain a full supply.

Yes...they tickled him to death shouldn't laugh. Bad Bora!

Thanks fjordmor - I have this idea that y'all are actually all Eskimos over there, eating tons of fish and whale fat and getting your good fatty oils in that way

Apologies if anyone is actually of this demographic but...I'm 32 and find myself generally quite intimidated by the skills of a much younger mother. They so proficient at everything! buggy manoeuvring, child handling, toy management...they so calm, unflustered, not fazed by anything. The younger the mother, the more flustered I become!

I'm so sorry if I made anyone feel crap with my sleep gloating this morning, I was just so happy as he is generally not a great sleeper. I'm sure it is a one off as we were 11 weeks on Wednesday so approaching the 12 week growth spurt. If its any consolation I woke at 5 as normal and didn't get any more sleep till he woke at 7.30.

Went to mum and baby group this morning and someone there who went on and on about how her baby sleeps 12 hrs a night and she is already 7kg less than pre preg... Obv I don't mind anyone on here celebrating things like that but it's not really what you want to hear first time you meet someone?! Everyone else lovely though so think ill go back.

Think I'm right in saying only vit k not passed on through breast milk?

oh please don't apologise smorgs! good to know it can happen!
as soon as my baby does a really amazing night, I'll be marching through this thread cartwheeling and banging drums with a full brass band behind me, regardless of anyone else's sleep situation!

Smorgs I think I read that babies don't need the vit k injection if they have the precious nectar colostrum in the beginning...like it acts as an alternative. While epidural'd up I chatted to the mw about it and showed her the reaearch from a midwifery org.

Apologies for my first post back being a bit mardy. I was a bit fuzzy headed this morning when I wrote it. Don't want it to sound like I'm resentful towards people with good sleepers. It's actually good to hear positive sleeping stories - it gives me hope. I just felt a bit disheartened yesterday because it feels like all the mums I meet in real life have fantastic sleepers and I just felt.a bit inadequate esp after the baby massage meltdown as well.

With regards the vitamins, we were given vitamin drops on prescription at her 8 week injections. I didn't even think or question about whether to give them or not - I tend to just accept authority and follow rules!i haven't even read the label to know what's in them!

Hope everyone is having a nice day. We just went for a long walk to a friend's house for lunch and then back again. Feeling really tired now but good for getting out of the house. DD is still asleep after our walk back and don't know if I should wake her or not! So tricky!

Does anyone know anything about how benefits work? I'm useless - I've literally only just sent off the child benefit form. I think we're eligible for child tax credits given DH is self employed and just building a business up - but when i do the calculator, they only take into account my pre-maternity leave annual salary, not the fact I'll only be bringing in SMP for seven months. I don't understand any of it. It's based on 2011 tax year, not our situation now.