October babies. Don't get lost

[lisbethsopposite]

Come in come in.

Let the epic catch up begin.

Firstly, sorry to hear those that had crappy christmases. Like Zara said, its only another day! Loving Cherry's analogy
Ours was OK. Had an extremely busy day christmas eve, visiting lots of old people, and took DD into work to see my work friends which was nice. Christmas Day was really busy too- up at DM's for breakfast and then FIL's for lunch/dinner. It was lovely.. but by the evening I was grumpy. I didn't express any milk at all for it so after two glasses of wine had to stop drinking- which was fine, I never drank much more than that anyway, but DP's family are alcoholics keen drinkers, so they all (including DP) basically got trashed, and I was left holding the baby. DP had made the decision to stay there the night too, so by 11pm, after really struggling to get DD to sleep, I was nearly in tears. Next christmas will be at my house. Having said all that though, when we finally got out of bed on boxing day and came home, we opened our presents, and then hibernated for a day and a half. We literally, did nothing. It was nice The dog didn't appreciate it much, she could only run around in the garden. It was a special christmas though.
Squid Loving Santa Claws!!
Fortunately I didn't have to deal with MIL comments. DMIL is in a home and is truly a lovely woman although slightly batty... However am starting to get slightly angsty at SIL. She is over from Australia, and it really is great to see her, but fuck me, if I get asked "What time did she last feed" again I may just shoot her myself. Its also really pissing me off when people moan about how much DD sleeps because they want a cuddle. Really, AIBU to just tell people to fuck off?! DM had a right strop the other day because I had just, just got DD to sleep, had to put her in carseat, (which is a real fight every time, she HATES the car seat, anyone else have this trouble?) and she's asking me to get her out of the carseat so she can have the cuddle. I managed to be assertive, which is not like me at all, and reply "No, she's only just gone to sleep and if I take her out of the carseat, she'll wake up, then she'll hate me because I'll have to put her back in the carseat". And she got the arse. Big Time. Really annoys me when SIL keeps telling DD to wake up in that fecking foghorn voice so she can have a cuddle. Just let the bloody baby sleep!!!! She OBVIOUSLY NEEDS TOO!!!!

OOf. Rant over.
Londonmrss How did it go with the dog and your parents? And also, your convo with DP when you were in the bath made me smile. DP also has this problem when he holds her in a cradle position, he still isn't getting the message that after she's had a feed she wants to be upright. Everytime.. "Why is she crying?" "She must want more food, here, have her back". Thanks alot DP, thanks alot.

Yomping Oof, that sounds awful. I would have been standing outside the front door crying with you too- I am not looking forward to 8 week jabs.. Hopefully DD is hardcore like her Mum and will take it all on the chin.

Squid Sorry to hear about your lack of sleep. Such a shame when Jess is sleeping so well. I don't know what to suggest.. You've probably tried it all but for a short term solution can you try a lavender bag? Or spray? I conk out every time. I've also been having lots of dreams.. None about work though. Definately linked to the anxiousness RE my prodigal father situation.

We haven't got much of a routine here. We only seem to have a bed time bit going at the moment.. I take her up to bed at 10pm and feed her to sleep, rest her on my chest for a while and then into moses basket. Generally she wakes up for feeds at 1.30ish, and 4.30ish. Then at 7, 8, and 9, with napping in between. We have had a couple of nights where she hasn't woken up til 5am though, I was up more than her checking she was still breathing!!
Mind you, DD is the youngest baby on this thread at 6 weeks (tomorrow! where's the time gone) and is definately having a serious growth spurt at the moment, so routine isn't really a word that exists in my dictionary yet.

Got her weighed last week.. 10lbs and 14oz. She's put on a pound in 5 weeks. Monster baby here too Huffle!!

Bella Hope DH's work situation gets better and something turns up soon.. I think it was you who asked about how we all met our partners.. (Great advertising for match.com here eh!)
I've known of my DP since I was a small child. He's my uncle's best friend. (An age gap of 19 years here..!) However, only really got to know him when I turned 16/17. All my school friends went to uni so I started to spend alot more time with my uncle and all his friends, (honestly, the general mentality age of that lot is that of a 5yo's ..). When I turned 18 I went to Australia for 6 weeks, and DP was supposed to be visiting SIL at the same time, so we planned to meet up out there. Then he broke his collarbone.. and then MIL got really really ill. I became his shoulder to cry on basically.. and after a few drunken parties the rest is history!! It took me ages to convince him that we were doing the right thing though. Even though I was 19 and old enough to make my own decisions.. he was still worried about everyone's reaction and worried he was taking advantages. Anyway. It took me 3 months of err.. shagging behind everyone's backs basically, until he realised I wasn't leaving him alone and he gave in. 2 years (next month) later and here we are with a beautiful unplanned baby.

Squid I'm with you RE christmas present giving. It really is touching that everyone is so excited for us, but jesus. She was given so much stuff I'm going to need another room in our house to squeeze it all in! We only bought her a pair of dungarees!! I will also join you in a glass of , rose anyone?

Anyway. That is the end of my epic catch up, I apologise to all those I have missed.

P.S. I CAN DRIVE AGAIN!! Wooooooooohoooooooo!!!!!!!! (Was banned for 6 weeks after seriously traumatic birth aftermath) HELLO FREEEDOM!

Wow so many posts!

squid and Bora can totally relate to the partially wanting a baby just to have a break... I am a vet and we are incredibly busy over spring, lots of very long hard days and then busy nights and weekends on call to follow with no time to catch up on sleep, so I was over the moon to be due in September and miss 2 springs in a row. (NZ so spring is September in case oyu think I'm nuts!) I think a lot of the 'caring professions' get a bit of emotional burnout from the stress, responsibility and expectation to do it on so little sleep, which seems to have become almost become a rite of passage... like the more senior consultants etc did it so they expect you to do it... I find the responsibility of making medical decisions about peoples pets tough enough, let alone humans (at the end of the day a dog is still a dog), which is a huge part of why I didn't go to med school instead! And yes it probably is because oyu are good at what you do that you find it so tough, because you put so much into it (if that makes sense )

beccus fjord and nenehoo yup we are also with you on the good night sleeps but terrible during the day! We do 'bedtime' at 7-8pm then wake her up for a feed at about 9.30 when we go to bed, then she sleeps till 5.30-6ish (we get up about then anyway so not too worried). I totally have no control over how long she sleeps for at night, at 5-7 weeks she would only do 3hrs in a row at night then one day started doing 7-9hrs... Days are terrible... much to my dismay she stopped feeding to sleep at 10 weeks and now the only way we can nap is after much fussing and sometimes full on screaming on my shoulder. Does not sleep in car seat or buggy, and even more to my dismay stopped sleeping in my frontpack! (that used to be my magic baby go to sleep when nothing else works trick). So very of people who get good day sleeps!

Ha I also tried the baby whisperer for a day then threw it out as there was no way we were going to sleep by ourselves in the bassinet!

huffle I did the big clean out of baby clothes yesterday too! Is quite amazing how much they've grown already ay! To almost double your bodyweight in 3 months...

cherry nothing going on for new year, and doubt I could stay awake till midnight anyway!

londonlivvy Does your DC have reflux? Just wondering if your dairy/wheat/curry/everything free diet is helping? Mini has been a 'happy chucker' 90% of the time up to now so I haven't done anything about her reflux, but we're starting to get more feed refusals and screaming in pain when I put her in feeding position(she didn't feed from 9am till 6pm yesterday), so maybe time I did something about it and was wondering about the dairy/wheat free route.

Mickey love the sound of your boxing day, and think you have every right to tell SIL to f#@$ off!

3 things which have made me laugh this eve!

1. DS laughing!! Proper chuckles!!! Yay!!! That's really the first!

1. DS actually has defined biceps!!!!??! This monster is gonna be a strong boyo

1. My boobs DO leak!! Guess I've been wearing a bra with disposable pads so long I didn't realise. But they feckin do in response to crying!! Ha ha for animal reactions!

And Mickey well done on monster catch up and monster baby!!!

Mixed day today. Mini yomping happier than yesterday but still unsettled. Took her into town this morning and bought her presents in the sales while she slept in the sling. That's my workout for the day, god she's heavy! Visited NCT friends this afternoon and mini yomping helped me model slings as they are interested in getting one. Think that was a bit too much for her, she cried hard when we got home. Tongue tie site healing OK but still looked sore, so I gave her Calpol and that upset her a lot (she hates having anything put in her mouth apart from a boob!) and in the process of crying lots about that I think she re-opened the wound a bit and then she started that real out-of-control screaming. We are giving Colief a try and need to use it consistently for a week to see if it helps her wind, so I had to get 5 droppers of expressed milk plus Colief down her before letting her feed, and that upset her more, so she was frantic by the time she started to feed and then feeding hurt her tongue so she kept stopping and screaming. Poor mite . I'd do anything to take away her pain .

Routine... what's that? None at all here. Pointless trying to put her down for naps, tried a few times but she's having none of it, stubborn streak a mile wide gets it from her mother. So she generally does what we're doing and if she's in a sling or the carseat she may well sleep but otherwise the only time she sleeps in the day is if she falls asleep on me after a feed, but that doesn't always happen. Beccus you made me laugh with the concept of increasing the amount you'd let mini Beccus sleep at a time in the night... that implies a baby who will sleep for as long as you let her - where do I get me one of those? . To date (10 weeks old today), mini Yomping's longest sleep ever is 5.5 hours, one random night at 6 and a half weeks. She slept for 4 and a half hours once too. Her standard sleeps are anything from half an hour to 3 hours. But it's all good, I'm a bit of an attachment parenting hippy at heart and the way I see it, my sole job at the moment is giving her what she needs. So if that is feeding every couple of hours for a couple of weeks, then so be it. It's only sleep, right?

Work... Having a year off wasn't the reason I talked DH into we decided to start ttc when we did but it was an attractive added extra! 10 years of teaching has taken its toll... I'm not someone who does things by halves, I have an irritating compunction to do everything to the best of my ability and to always do the right thing, so I put a great deal into my job and ended up pretty drained. I thought I'd really miss it after a few months off as it was such a huge part of my life and my identity, but as it turns out I actually couldn't give a fuck at the moment if I never go back! We are going to try existing on just DH's salary for the next 2 months to see if it would be feasible long term as I would like to be a SAHM. I feel quite strongly that that would be the best thing for mini Yomping. Always felt that it was the right thing to do (just my opinion, not meaning to pass judgement on anyone else's choices) but never thought I'd actually be happy to do it - but the idea is really exciting me at the moment. Guess that may change in a few more months though.

Does anyone else's baby copy anything yet? Mini Yomping will smile in reply to smiles, and make noises if you talk to her, but we're meant to be getting her to stick her tongue out by sticking a tongue out at her so she copies - only she doesn't! Just looks at us like we're weird. Is this normal or is she a bit backward just going at her own pace? She cannot grip things on purpose yet either or control her arm movements. I'm really impatient and excited about her being able to reach out and pick something up but I'm not sure when to expect that it might happen!

Wow, that was an epic post. Taking the opportunity to catch up while baby girl sleeps on my lap after her pre-feed meltdown!

Fjord, welcome back, sorry to hear about difficult first weeks, kudos on the sleeping!

I've just weighed myself. FML.

Ill catch up properly later. Am off to sulk

DS asleep before 8.30. Trying to decide if I will try our first dream feed about 11 or if that might be a total disaster!!!

Only one way to find out..........

DS asleep before 8.30. Trying to decide if I will try our first dream feed about 11 or if that might be a total disaster!!!

Only one way to find out..........

yomping, i know how funny it sounds. it used to do my head in waking her every 2/3/4 hrs in those 1st 6 weeks, especiallly as it was such a mission to get her off. i was always wondering how much longer she could have slept for and was hanging out to get to 6 weeks so i could stop it, but then freaked myself out because i didnt know how long she would go for, so felt more.comfortable letting her increase slowly..it is like the olympics, wondering if she will break her sleeping record.

Cripes! I've been writing this post on and off all day & there's already about 20 new posts since I last looked! Lots of interesting discussions so I may have to post again before bed. DP is out working a night shift so I'm at a rare loose-ish end at FIL's.

Yomping - sorry to hear about the tongue tie cut. It is upsetting when they get upset at the breast. Baby Fjord does it frequently out of frustration at slow let down (compared to bottles) and it does make one feel like shit! Tongues tend to heal quite quickly if I recall (from the time I bit straight through mine). Hugs!

squid - sorry to hear your mind's doing overtime! I don't really have any useful advice I fear so I'll say this: Right now what you are supposed to be doing is mummying and you're doing an amazing job at that. You write your own life. Meet the future when you get to it .

Bora - we are only just thinking about routine since DD was not napping well & falling asleep at feed times. We're currently being too lazy laidback to be strict about it though. Huffle would love to hear how you get your LO down to regular naps. Nenehooo & beccus - glad baby Fjord's not the only one - was beginning to think she was a freak of nature!!

LondonMrs - sorry you've been having a shitty day. I almost feel guilty that Baby Fjord sleeps so well. We didn't do anything specific. If she wakes in the night she must self settle as she never cries or wakes us & she's in a co-sleeper cot. She does take ages to get off to sleep these days though. Our self-settling to initial sleep has regressed dreadfully. She's now convinced she needs a nipple in her gob to nod off, which I won't do, or she has to be rocked or bounced. Not sure where it went wrong but suspect DP's insistence in holding her ALL the time may be behind it (damn him! I so don't want to be a nag!) I think this good sleeping is genetic as MIL said all her 3 boys slept through from an early age. It may not last through teething & toddlerdom though I guess. The 'self-settling' corner was turned once we got a Ewan & she has a Jellycat bunny she's very attached to that she 'talks' to, smiles at & strokes. She just takes around 30 mins to wind herself down these days, 'chatting' & dancing in her bed & often needs a few rocks after lights out to help her along.

DP & I are still yet to do the deed & he didn't look anywhere near downstairs during my c-section. Bits all intact. Not sure why we haven't really. Perhaps a mixture of the fact I haven't been checked by the gynae, we don't know what to do about contraception (though I have now had my first period & tracking my cycle) and sheer tiredness/lack of opportunity. I guess we should talk about it...

Attempts to put baby wooly down earlier so far... unsuccessful

Insidentally we were totally baby led and she seems to have got into a cycle of eat, play, sleep by herself (sometimes with an extra eat between the play and the sleep ). I struggle to get her to sleep in the crib in the day without doing all the things I vowed I wouldn't (closing curtains, tiptoeing round, white noise) and naps are usually only half an hour at most. V jealous of 2 hr lunchtime naps! Keep thinking should have a stricter routine but basically just lazy... Maybe when DH goes back to work as now we both lie in bed as long as poss like slobs

yomping mini started copying us with the tongue poking out thing at about 8 weeks, did it for 2 weeks and now looks at me like I'm nuts if I do it! She has had some arm control for a couple of weeks (well she can rub her eyes and put fist in mouth) but otherwise they pretty much still do their own thing! So I concluded the books have never met real babies. Also made the same conclusion after I read in several places that babies under 6 months will just fall asleep as soon as they are tired... wtf???

Great to hear from fjordmor - I'm so glad things are getting better after such a difficult start.

I very much wanted another baby but I confess that the prospect of eleven months off work appealed, too. And that's fine. The last few years have been so tough healthwise that I feel incredibly lucky to have two kids and a job. (I say that, but we've compulsory redundancies coming up next month...) I have a job that some people would give their left arm for, but it's in a shrinking industry with little opportunity to switch employers, and part of me knows I need to do something else - probably self-employed, as I don't rate my chances of finding another job with two children and MS. The trouble is that I like working with other people and even managing them, so I don't quite know what to pursue.

In the meantime, I'm proud to be able to look after two DCs. It can be tough and exasperating, but this time I've managed to ensure I still think about things other than sleep, milk and where the next meal is coming from. I make a lot of mistakes, but I'm learning from them - I'm a better mother to DS than I was to DD at this stage. I miss the things that make a professional job exciting, but I do like managing my own time and not having to put up with idiotic management.

So I can empathise with yomping - but unless you have another, I bet you'll want to take on at least some voluntary work once DD starts sleeping through ... It's all-engrossing now, but that does change after a year or so.

DS is teething. I can feel and see a front tooth coming through. Unfortunately he can't hold a teether yet and is FURIOUS about it. Only my finger will do - not even DH's.

Ellis, we have had (limited) success with a dummy style tether, think the ones we have are Mam or Nuk. Similar issue here, teething but no ability to hold teether! We put teething gel on dummy style tether and hold it in her mouth (as she has never taken a dummy properly) but it does seem to soothe her sometimes - although only if it's DH holding it in

Fjord She talks to, smiles at and strokes her bunny? !

Beccus, I didn't mean to sound like a nobber, sorry if that's how I came across! Just seems like a different world

Went to bed earlier tonight... mistake! Baby asleep by 11 and walking for first feed at 1. Earlier to bed just seems to equal more night feeds. Don't know why but had idea that it might mean a longer initial sleep. yawn!

So many posts!

Great to hear from you Fjord!
It sounds like you've really got things sussed - you always sound so calm.
I, too, melted at your DD playing with her bunny. I think we have the same one and DS loves his, but mostly to suck
"Meet the future when you get to it." - great advice.

But all those that have night sleepers have made me realise that I'm lucky that DS sleeps so well in the day. His best is a 2 hour nap in the morning where I can get loads done - usually have a shower/bath, dress, makeup, breakfast, tidying etc. He'd sleep for longer but I wake him.
No self-settling here though either - his magic chair is...magic (but try to only use it once a day.)
Same as Woollybob, baby led but he's got himself into his own routine, with a similar cycle.

So jealous of the chuckles Huffle, can't wait for DS to start. He's "talking" loads and smiling all the time so hopefully it won't be long.

Squid, I certainly couldn't cope with the responsibility of your job and totally don't blame you for looking forward to the year off - it's one of the perks! No actual advice though, sorry.
We didn't get anything for DS for Christmas, and surprisingly no one else went too crazy either. I'm looking forward to next year, when he'll be aware and hopefully we'll be in the UK for it.

I did think about expressing Beccus, but decided that being cramped up with people I hardly know, speaking a language I don't really understand, watching shit J TV would actually be worse if I were drunk. I would want to be out with friends, doing karaoke or something.

No proper champagne for us either Livvy, it's only me that's bothered so I just couldn't justify the expense for a glass or two. cheap Australian Cava here we come!

Written too much as usual, must get on with mammoth end of year clean!

DH has slept through 11.00 dream feed and 3.00 poonami.

Isn't he such afuckwit good sleeper??

Tmrw I will get 'why didn't you wake me?' oh to have the luxury of sleeping regardless. Huff huff.

And now I don't know if dream feed was any use due to DS being woken by poos anyhow!!!!! Grrr.

Bloody men, eh Huffle?! And sorry, I meant you re. the champagne.

Naughty Huffle's DH! How do they do it? Mime is the same.

Fjord it is so great to hear from you. I loved your AN posts and always admired your resilience in the face of a whole load of difficulties. You could not be more deserving of a good sleeper- you have suffered enough! In fact, we all bloody deserve good sleepers (she says, writing a post at 4 in the morning- yawn)

Thanks for sharing your meeting partner stories, they are lovely! Cherry, I think you are amazing for building a business and a great life over there. I don't think I would cope with a baby somewhere non-English speaking without my family or friends nearby. (Admittedly I am a pathetic home bird. I did go away to uni and toured with a theatre company, but have settled in a village about 3 miles away from the one I grew up in. Not very adventurous!)

i met DH at uni too and thought he was a total nobber. It took a lot of persistance for him to get me to go out with him. He was friends with the lads i lived with so was round our house every day and sometimes would just refuse to leave. We laugh about how he engineered staying over the first night we had kissed and how i made the point that I def wouldn't sleep with him by wearing massive pink pjs! He plotted his progress as i gradually wore less and less! Ha! We did longdistance for a while after uni which wasn't really working and it took me breaking up with him for a couple of months for me to truly realise what an amazing guy he is and how much i loved him. We have been together 10 years now, since dh was a baby of 19 and we couldn't be happier. I certainly couldn't imagine coping with all of this mayhem without him! I loved your story mickey- very romantic!

Squid I can totally relate to everything you have said about work. I know I shouldn't be worrying about it now as (hopefully if dh gets a job soon) I won't have to go back until May but I can't help it. My job used to be such a huge part of my identity. I used to do huge productions involving loads of kids and we would rehearse all weekend and lots during the holidays. I simply do not want to work that hard anymore and yet I hate feeling like I am not giving 100% as people keep telling me that my drive and ambition will come back. Currently though, i hate my job, i hate being away from my family and i wish i had tge option to do like yomping and cosider packing it in. Squid, It sounds like you do a superb job under an awful lot of pressure. As always you are so hard on yourself. You are allowed to find things hard you know! Maybe try and change your perspective on things by trying to feel a sense of satisfaction and pride in the knowledge that some bloody great achievements have come out of the things you have beat yourself up about finding difficult. 1) Not as quick as you would like, but and successful weightloss after all the pregnancy stuff your body has endured. 2) the knowledge that you can look back on your life knowing that through ypur work you have actually saved peoples lives. What greater achievement is there? And knowing it cost you a lot to do it makes it all the more admirable and worthwhile. 3) Jess. You gave yourself such a hard time for finding her birth hard but it WAS really fucking hard and you did it all! You brought her into the world. You have so much to feel so proud of. If you looked at yourself the way others see you I bet you would see a different picture. As fjord says, you can meet the future when you get there and if you find it too difficult (which would be totally understandable in the conditions you describe) then there would be no shame in giving it up or doing something else. It won't negate all the good you have already done.

Ah...baby still feeding and it has taken ages to write all that blether!! DS2 did have to have his jabs postponed because of the pox. Sigh. Ds1 is on the mend though now thank goodness.now I just have to cope with a 6 hour drive with them and survive a week away with dh's family.

ahh bella; it sounds much more romantic than it actually was... i basically moved in and didbt give him much of a choice thankfully, he never seemed to.mind...

hope you survive the car journey and have a good week!x

I am an idiot. went to bed at 915 and she woke at 430, which should mean that I feel refreshed and rested. only I was still awake when DF came to bed after the late feed and have tossed and turned and had nightmares. so annoying. DF is v stressed about his exams and I'm picking up on that, plus fretting about wedding admin. argh.

I am definitely going to be a SAHM as the cost of childcare plus transport to work vs my not very impressive salary doesnt make much sense. also with DF doing his masters, he is so busy he needs the house stuff to run itself (ie clean clothes to appear on his cupboard, food in the fridge). I hope to be able to teach yoga part time though which is why I retrained this year. I am so impressed with your career squid and hope you find a way to do family friendly hours.

re reflux, (sorry can't remember who askes and on phone) dairy and caffeine free makes a real difference (I went back on it after two wks as doc not convinced, got two green poos and lots of screaming). she's on ranitidine too. booze upsets her sleep but not reflux. have you seen the www.cryingoverspiltmilk.co.nZ website.

argh too haed on phone wirh squirmy child. will try later

don't worry, yomping, u didn't i do feel v. lucky with her sleep habits, and am reassured jess, babyfjord and babynenehoo are similar as i thought she was the odd one!