October babies. Don't get lost

[lisbethsopposite]

Come in come in.

Holy moly Angelico you are amazing even thinking yet......

I hated pregnancy on so many levels and I have naively struggled with newborn! I had assumed I'd have another quickly but I really don't kno if I can at all!!! Personally I think if u think you can do it soon, do it soon!

You go girl!!

And positive thoughts for your relative. Sounds tough

X x

And how does anyone use gro bag and swaddle at same time?? Confused.

Happy new year everyone. Flying post for bora try the habit DVD. It's brilliant. Mild prolapse can reverse if you get working on it quickly.

Well done mini yomping, may it continue . Another victory for naughty mummies everywhere .

We have settled now on trying to sneak bedtime earlier (15 mins at a time) just to try and find a balance and get a bit of evening to ourselves so I can have a glass of wine meself Mixed results so far but bean has a cold so that is not helped.

angelico Funny you should mention it - called into work last Friday and a lady there was saying how she returned from her mat leave pregnant so did 3 months full time then went off for a year again. This meant full time mat pay and holidays to tag onto mat leave, then she started part time on return the second time. So worked out well on a financial/child care pov. In her case pregnancy 2 turned out to be twins which I am less keen on....!

When I saw my pregnant friend a couple of days ago I did have a feeling of missing being pregnant but I think I need to get my head round DD1 first and probably start having regular sex again before even considering no 2

Thanks Midget. Am seeing a physio next week so hopefully something can be done.

hufflepuffle et al - Double expressing just keeps your supply up when you're away from them, which is obviously useful! What I meant was that you're effectively compressing two or three normal feeds into one session, so your body will respond by upping the supply more quickly at the same time the following day. Does that make sense?

I used to express twice, then once each day when I returned to work after having DD. It maintained my supply during days off. But of course at 5.5 months she'd feed more than twice a day from the breast when I was at home. That's what I meant - if you do it regularly your body can produce more at each session.

Angelico

That's a tough question ... There's a 3.5y age gap between DD and DS. I wanted to get pregnant again earlier than that because I'm 37 now and was worried about declining fertility, but given my periods only returned after 22 months and I was ill - with a short luteal phase too - for some months afterwards, it didn't happen that way.

Pros: DD can entertain herself quite a bit, goes to preschool, and of course can walk for long periods. I would have really struggled with a double pushchair, as I don't drive. I also had time to re-establish myself at work after having DD. She adores her little brother and isn't jealous. I think a shorter age gap often leads to more jealousy.

Cons: She no longer naps. More mental effort and exertion needed to entertain her - trips to playgrounds, preschool run, the frustrating experience of playing games of chance with a three-year-old. Knowledge that at 37+ a trouble-free third pregnancy is less likely - not that DH is up for it!

hufflepuffle

PS some quick thoughts about expressing at work...

• try to do it at the same time each day and find a good place. Do you have your own office?

• use pix of your DC on your phone to stimulate letdown

• try and read something work-related at the same time, once you've got letdown. You'll be able to relax and not feel that you're shirking. (Not that you will be!) I used to do stuff one-handed on my Blackberry or read work-related journals

• make sure you've got a fridge at work to keep the milk in. I used an anonymous-looking black case with a cooling element. That went in the freezer at home overnight, then straight into the fridge at work each morning, and kept the milk cool during the commute home. It helps to have a few spare bottles so you don't have to decant the milk to free up bottles for the next day's expressing

• stick any pump parts and bottles that need washing in the dishwasher overnight, if you have one

• if you need to store the milk for more than four days, freeze it in bags - Medela and Lansinoh do them.

Apologies if this is all bleeding obvious! x

Oh, and (last post, I promise) thinking of smileyhappymummy as you go back to work. Maybe the time away from your DDs will be relaxing and s bit liberating, in its own way? Angelico, hope your relative is rallying.

Angelico - had considered having no 2 quickly as a way of avoiding making the decision to go back to work as it would be very economical child care wise, and I'm not exactly a spring chicken! But it would be really hard to have a baby and not be able to pick them up and throw them around all the time, and I think I might really feel like I'm robbing DD of her baby time (although I guess no2 would never have all that alone time either. Don't know how I'd cope being preggo with those yukky solids nappies either... the mucousy teething ones are making me gag enough at the moment!

huffle I put bubba in grobag (wonderful invention) then just swaddle her arms so legs are free... (1 corner folded down on swaddle to make big upside down triangle, then pull one wing over each arm and under body if that makes sense... i'm probably making it sound really complicated but it's real simple!). And yes the good sleeps did come back after the bad patches... took a couple of weeks, but def came back. It's funny cos you start feeling cheated once you go back to normal after a couple of really good nights!

yes the Weebles... that's exactly what I was thinking of! Thanks yomping The swaddleme looks awesome too... might have to invest... I had looked at a miracle blanket but decided it wouldn't be big enough but the swaddleme looks much larger. Oh and wasn't how our parents got us to sleep??? Weird that mini-yomping sleeps longer without the cluster feed though... obviously hasn't been reading the books

yomping and huffle yay on the sleeping hope it continues for a loooong time.

orenishii We are at the older end (2nd Oct) and it definitely gets easier (IMHO) once you can set them down on the floor to stare at toys for a little while, can at least do a couple of things without a cling-on (although somedays I still can't even run to the toilet without causing a screaming fit), although I reckon the biggest difference to life comes from longer night sleeps. We get crap day sleeps so still on 1.5-2hr cycles, but feels much easier with better sleeps at night.

smorgs you totally described exactly what minismiles has been doing for the past 2 weeks (including the huge meltdown ) (although 10million times better today) and shark attack feeding is an awesome description! Hopefully is just developmental/teething. Has he been any better the past couple of days?

And thanks for the tips on pumping Elpis you sound like a real pro!

Elpis thank you so much. No matter how obvious it seems to you, any advice is appreciated!!! I had assumed before DS came along that both BF and expressing we're straight forward! How wrong I was!! I do have my own office and DH needs to fit a lock to door for me. I work to a 45 mins appointment system so I will absolutely have to express at a set time. I've not decided if I can manage less than full time yet but I guess I'll assume to do same pattern of feeding and expression at home then. If I can. Coming this far I really don't want to end up with combining FF, however I know I will find keeping to a schedule totally in work will be hard. No 2 days are ever the same and there are only ever 2 of us in practice at same time. I will just have to be stricter with myself.

Thanks for reply, I appreciate it.

Londonlivv you asked me other day about part time. The truth Is I'm not sure yet. I need to look at figures from time off. Truth is that in such a small business we really only generate enough income for one professional wage. And actually locums cost far more than paying myself! So whilst I've been off I've been on v reduced pay. But everything has changed and I hope I can work something out. As you say, the Maths don't quite add up! And with DH becoming SAHD we need to be realistic. Thanks for thinking of me.

3am chat about work. Gah!

And yes Elpis, the double pump explanation makes sense!
Ta
X

OMG she slept til five! though her loser of a mum woke at 430 and crept into her room at 450 to check she was ok. yay. more of those sleeps please DD.

and MIL babysat so we went to the pub on a date. it was ace.

on the downside I've woken dripping in sweat with a sore throat. I hope I dont give whatever it is to DD...

less me me me later!

So glad you had a nice night livvy! Sorry you feel rubbish now. Hope you feel better tomorrow x

Angelico I can see your logic for 2 babies close together and can quite see why people plan their families like that. The thought of baby proofing the house all over again is not appealing! However, I wouldn't have missed the three years I have enjoyed with ds1 for anything. For a start, one child is so much more portable than 2. You one an do so much with them whereas now every outing is a military operation and only having one to look after is what we class as a rest! I have absolutely loved seeing ds1 go through all the milestones and will treasure the memories of his babyhood. This last school hols he and I picnicked nearly every day as we went to millions of nat trust places, sand parks, walks in woods and it was amazing. I feel sad not to get that one on one time with ds2 although I am sure I will be braver with the two of them come the summer. I feel much more confident and chilled with ds2 as I have had 3 years to learn what I am doing and don't worry anything like as much as I did. Ds2 qualifies for childcare in the mornings so I don't have to pay out for both of them when I go back to work. Plus I am going to so enjoy my mornings with just ds2 come next week. 2 of them all the time is hard work!! When I need him to, ds1 can entertain himself which is a lifesaver. He isn't getting up to all sorts while I bf and can understand the concept of being gentle to the to baby. Big downside is being 2 different types of parent. After being up all night with ds2 I find it incredibly waring to have to start with the endless roleplays, making up stories, discipline, potty training straight away. just my experience but may help. I admire you for even considering it so soon! I want my body back for a while before number 3 (andbfor my hubby to get a job obvs!! Ha!)

Had 'Sunday night blues' on behalf of dp going back to work today, she was off for about same amt of time as parental leave at beginning except bean more enjoyable this time with not having to give birth and having a vague clue what we are doing! Anyone else about to miss dps?

Ds1 is really going to miss her
Although he is back at nursery today which I think he will enjoy, although expecting meltdown when I have to get him up soon. I am looking forward to a bit of one on one time with ds2 though and trying out new Netflix instant

Sorry not to name check, will try later!

OctoberOctober

I think we're in exactly the same place today!

hufflepuffle

Having your own office is a boon. (Would a Do Not Disturb sign be cheaper and easier than fitting a lock?) I'm open-plan, and when all the drop-in offices were full I had to use the loos as we were always short of meeting spaces. Cramped and unrelaxing.

Angelico DH and I have talked and may start TTC next January. I'd rather not be BF 2 babies, or have 2 in nappies. On the other hand there is 6 years between DS and DD, and while they have a lovely relationship and it is easier, I feel that DS will never have the sibling relationship that I have with my brother, and I dont want the same for DD. Plus I would like a big family. I know lots of people think toddlerdom is the worst bit but I love toddlers, much easier than 3-5 year olds, so we are aiming for a 2 year gap. I'm used to caring for 3 under 3's at a time because of my job, and I know I enjoy it.

oooh talk of more babies already! I'm fairly determined to hang up my reproductive hat but dh and I have agreed to discuss it again in a couple of years.

I have a 23 month age gap and it really isn't easy, but then so much depends on the temperament of the toddler and baby. but I figure it's relatively short term pain for long-term gain as my theory (!) is that it'll be easier and more fun when they're older. I'll let you know how that theory pans out

elpis expressing in toilets is the absolute pits, poor you! I had to express at work in an unlockable room and sat in constant fear of being walked in on. also wonderfully relaxing

hugs to those with Monday morning feeling. at least it's a short week.

I had the worst day I've had since ds2 was born on Monday. nothing to do, nobody to see, blowing a gale and chucking down with rain. I nearly lost my marbles, it was hideous. never again!!!

and ds2 is ill AGAIN, argh argh argh. seriously, how many times can one tiny baby be ill? I must've had approx 3 twenty minute patches of sleep last night, tops. feel absolutely weird today, disconnected and floaty. and I feel no guilt saying I wish I could fastforward this bloody shit time away want ds2 bigger and more robust asap.

sorry can't namecheck more, on phone bouncing ds2 in sling. thank god ds1's at childminder today

Oh poor Crazy. Might you manage to get some of that elusive never happens daytime sleep??

Yay yay yay for baby Livvy!!! Great sleep!!

Elpis my room is right beside waiting area and small children are wont to come hurtling in my door.......! Great idea on the do not disturb but wrong kind of office!!!

Cannot believe you all discussing babies.
Above anything else I won't be able to afford all this unpaid time off again for while..!!! If ever says my poor body and mind!!!

And I fear twins.

Home alone sadness here too. Been 3 of us since Christmas eve.

I am joining those in mourning for partners returning to work.

On the up side, Jess is deliberately hitting dangling things this morning and looking very happy about it! This is a first! So cute!

I am totally muddled about the thought of a second kid. I veer between wanting to do both "at once" and basically give up at work for 3-4 years (just keeping my toe in for part time stints so I don't have to re-train)... and thinking leave it 3-5 years so I can be back on track at work, have a Jess I can reason with and have myself, my body my life back.

I am enjoying this baby stuff. I didn't like being pregnant, at all. Just feel like I'm getting my fitness and self back and not keen to lose that again any time soon! Also don't want to "miss out" on enjoying Jess because of the stresses and strains of pregnancy.

My boyfriend has always been very, very anti only-children, but yesterday said he thought it wouldn't be such a big deal if we never had another!! He says Jess is so great he doesn't see the need for another now! (aww) And he also didn't much like watching me pregnant because I am normally quite capable and it was a bit stressful for both of us. But I can't see myself as a mum of a only child... I have two brothers (18 months older and 4 years younger) and we are very close, and I would want to give Jess the chance of having that.

I am 33 so no desperate urgency to have another one yet, but fertility not a sure thing either! (not that it ever is)

though I am equally close to both brothers now (maybe even closer to younger brother) ... my mum says me and older brother were like twins when young and did EVERYTHING together, and that is kind of lovely.... but that would mean getting pregnant again in JULY!!

I think I would like to do it like bella has probably. Aim for another around the time Jess can go to free nursery. But it is all pretty complicated with my career. Still, I have always done things the way I see fit and not been very bothered with doing the "right" thing!

It might have all been easier if I was further on in my career (I went into medicine as a mature student), or if I'd had kids younger. But I had a great time wasted in my twenties and regret nothing

Sorry for multiple posts!

quick post for advice please- 8 week jabs today, should i stock up on anything else apart from calpol? thx ladies, will catch up at surgery if bean allows it

Back to 3hour sleeps - which is fine, the 2hour sleeps were killing me but 3hours is more manageable. lots of sneezes this morning and I also feel stuffed up so looks like you were right about the cold WantanOrange.

I definitely want another child and am 37 so waiting a few years doesn't feel like an option. If only I hadn't spent so much of my life dicking around and shacking up with total nobbers, I could have got on with this much sooner! We're thinking about ttc again when dd is just over a year, which gives us time to learn what the fuck we are doing and gives my body time to recover from the first pregnancy and labour. Less of an overall career break as well. This is exhausting but I am already missing the very tiny baby stage - not that she was ever that tiny, but she has grown and changed so much already... And it's a total surprise to me that I feel like that, never had myself down as a baby person...

DH back today after a lovely long spell off, and to stop myself getting glum, I have resolved to leave the house every day. Have the option of going to a new parents course today at local Sure Start centre but not sure - it's 2hours long (with a baby? that's a long session!) and the arrogant know-it-all in me isn't sure how much it will cover that I don't already know or can't pick up from you lovely people... WWYD?

Crazy, I'm making you a very large, very strong cup of tea! Biscuits?