October babies. Don't get lost

[lisbethsopposite]

Come in come in.

hi all.. will catch up properly later, but londonmrss i didnt know that either, i know you are advised not to leave them in a car seat all the time but i didn't know that. i wouldn't worry though- its probably just to cover themselves.
i wouldnt worry about the poo thing either. HV said its perfectly normal to go up to a week without one for EBF babies. we are on day 5 here and still nothing. horrific farts though! worse than the dog just like her mum, so unladylike

zara yadnbu!!! i too had similar feelings about DD this morning!! we are having a nice cuddle now though... dont worry about MIL. shes a MIL! lol!

ok so DD is 4 weeks old today. and seems to have been replaced by an alien, feeding machine. since 10pm last night i have had two hours sleep. from a child that was previously, waking up twice. up every half hour. would cry if put in moses basket, wouldn't settle on my chest, OR in bed with us either!!! now shes asleep. like my angel baby again. i am so, fecking tired.

Well, we've ordered a Ewan the sheep after all the recommendations. DS still isn't interested in a huge amount of stuff (flicking between panicking and remembering his due date was only last week so he's got time to catch up! We have had success with his swing though :)

LondonMrs don't panic, it's to do with spinal development as far as I know but I'm sure the limit is cautious and just covering their arses. a few long walks won't hurt I wouldn.t have thought

elpis I'd have squeezed too, don't be so hard on yourself!

zara you are definitely not being unreasonable. in fact, exactly the opposite. big hug for you missing your dh

anyone else experiencing mega hair loss? remember this from last time. oh the horror

ds2 still feeding much better, thank you everyone for thinking of us. he has a really nasty cough and his cry is so pathetic I think a sore throat too total snot bag and still lots of diarrhoea but no more vomit. phew.

zara, u r right, sometimes they cry for no reason. it is v. frustrating when u work your arse off teying to calm them when all u want to do is sleep. we need help when this happens, for someone to take them for a bit - even uf baby started crying for no reason, they will start to pick up on our stress. am glad u r holding wine now & not baby. am sorry mil wasnt more understanding

zara my DD has colic. I've been guilty of telling her"what do you want from me child? Tell me and you can have it. Else, shut the fuck up".

She didn't shut up she didn't notice, but I felt better getting it off my chest!

borabora I might try that line

urghh, sling in wash, baby beccus is too heavy to carry and so hard to settle without it. thank goodness dp is home

Happy birthday to all those I missed this week- I am terrible at posting, really should catch up more often!! I havent mastered one handed typing on phone yet.
Lmao Bora I quite often say "What do you want from me child?!" and then act surprised when she doesnt answer...

Elpis please don't be so hard on yourself - I would have squeezed if it had been myself or my baby's abscess and being a second time mother has nothing to do with it :) It's not like your first child had one that you squeezed, and you learnt nothing and did it again with your DS! The healing power of a night's sleep will make it much better and it will clear up soon enough.

Zara colic is so hard - I find myself telling DS "come on now, stop being such a silly, silly SILLY BLOODY BOY!" - like he knows what any of that means! I find baths are good for relaxing DS when he's gassy - maybe it would help?

Think DS is going through a growth spurt I think - he's all restless, hungry, and is just sleeping all day.

I find myself going from confident to anxiety of not knowing what I'm doing too - it's amazing how the confidence can drop so quickly. I'm also just so not over the labour - physically and emotionally - and I'm tired of people telling me all that matter is DS is alright. Well yes, of course - but the crushing disappointment and the lack of faith in myself for next time because I didn't push him out bothers me!

I'm concerned about myself physically too - I have RSI in both wrists and still get labour type pains in my back and hips. Sorry it TMI but my vagina sometimes feels like there's a tampon slipping out - sorry, that's the best way I can describe it. My "six week" appt isn't until January - so 10 weeks - and I'm so irrationally annoyed with NHS because of the birth, I just feel too sulky to insist I see someone sooner. Not good :(

Crazy I still hav the loveliest hair I hav ever had in my sorry greasy haired life and I am dreading the impending doom of fall out....

Zara at 2am this morning DH was visibly unsettled by my glaring nostril rage....... Why did DS decide last night was the night to wake every 2 hrs??? I was asking him at 2am. By 5 am I was numb and speechless. Your DMIL obviously forgets that she too felt rage for her uncooperative offspring........ Hope she forgives u cos she sounds lovely really!!!

Elpis FWIW I too would hav prob done same. In fact prob would hav got DH to do it and gentle is not exactly his MO. hope DS is continuing to recover and we love you and all your advice. Do not doubt yourself!!!

London we were given that advice on carseat from antenatal physio. No reason specifically given but she did say that even short spells out negate effects. So if on a long trip, quick lift out to feed or change will reset the 2 hrs to zero!

Well shite shite shite night last night. I think DH caused it by letting DS smile and smile back on first wake up.......! Sour faced quiet cold hearted bitch mum hardly speaks to child when he wakes in night. Daddy was encouraging smiles..... Anyway. I know that is not really reason! Lots of fresh air and playing today so please please please may he sleep better tonight!

Minor catch up only, hope all well, sorry not to catch up properly!

Oh and DS is actually grabbing and pulling things on baby gym!!! Yay!!! And when did he first do this?? When mummy was at fucking bastarding work doing payroll....... The start of mummy missing things.........

huffle, my DH dies that- I tend to do most of the night shift because he's working and driving... plus I'm the one with the tits. but then when he suddenly decides to change her it give her some cuddles, I hear him happily chattering away to her and waving toys at her in the way that I only do during the day! very annoying actually, but men can be quite stupid.

quiet on here today... everyone ok?

thank you for the carseat advice- I guess there are always guidelines but just made me panic because I really try to research everything but this just want something I had heard of.

I had another fright today. I fell down the stairs while holding baby. it was only 3 stairs outside, but they are concrete so quite dangerous and I fell completely down to the ground. I was holding baby upright on my left shoulder- like the winding position. thankfully some sort of mother instinct kicked in and I managed to cover her head with my right hand mid-fall and throw myself totally onto my right side so she didn't touch the ground at all. she just woke up, gave me a grumpy look and then went right back to sleep. I'm all bruised and grazed everywhere and I think I'll have some aches tomorrow. landed slightly on my chin too. at least she is fine though. funny how the instinct to put out your hands to break your fall is replaced by a 'protect offspring at all cost' instinct. reassuring really. must be more careful on stairs.

You've been so lovely to me. Thank you. I completely lose the plot when one of my babies is ill - it's a sort of hypochondria by proxy.

There has been NO MORE SQUEEZING and DS has had the recommended three baths, perianal massage (which he grins his way through) and kickabout in the nude. The abscess has shrunk back again and is hardly swollen at all, so I really hope it's healing permanently this time.

Zara - I think they do cry for a reason, but sometimes that reason is either completely impossible to establish or else beyond our control. DS was yelling for half an hour yesterday and I suspect it was simply tiredness. The more he yelled, the tireder he became. In any case, your DMIL's reaction was very unhelpful. We just can't be saints all the time.

What do the green heart and brown helmet symbols on the new MN app mean?

Thanks all. I knew I wasn't a cold heartless beast but its hard not to feel guilty or affronted when people give you judgy pants looks. DH in an email said he understood but its obvious I need more sleep to cope better...!

huffle what a fright with that fall! But sounds like DD was not even that fussed. And it's Murphy's Law right that you miss something exciting when you're not there... I missed DS' first laugh when I was making his bottles up!

DS is now 13 pounds and the crotch snaps are getting tight on his 3-6 month vests yikes.... I've got a monster on my hands! We looked at DH' baby book yesterday and DS has caught right up to where his dad was at the same age. Which is crazy given DS weighed 7lb 4oz at birth but DH weighed 9lb 14oz!!!

Going to GP shortly then to find sleeveless vests... It's way too hot here for poor baby.

I'm still umming and ahhing about getting a Brazilian wax...feeling chicken! Maybe I should just trim and see how (un)comfortable sex is post-2nd degree tear before I get hot wax poured on myself...!

PS the lullaby I invented (when DMIL is out of earshot, but DFIL thinks it's funny) is "twinkle twinkle little star, go the fuck to sleep right now...."

Elpis, glad absess is better.

Londonmrss I hope you heal up from your fall. Sounds scary.

Zara. Grr re MIL. I have frequently sobbed at DD along the lines of...what fi you want? Just TELL me. Now a bit nervous re my MIL coming to stay for so long. Gulp.

I'm a bit jealous of all these huge babies. DD is still a somewhat petite 9lb7 at 7weeks. She's also started waking more often in the night which is driving me mad. It used to be one feed at 10, one at 3 or 4 and then again at 7. Now she's wanting food at 10, 2,5,7. And feeding in a half-arsed way at each feed. Five mins enthusiastic then falls asleep. Argh. Any ideas? I am so tired.

She's currently farting about, not feeding and yet rooting her head about, getting shouty. I hold my nipple in her mouth but she won't latch. You can take a horse to water and all that...

mini yomping generally feeds on average every 2 and a half hours overnight, I thought this was normal for by 8 week old? Sometimes she stretches it out to 3 hours or a little more but sometimes (like tonight) it drops to 2 hourly or more often. I think it's due tonight to me having had a cider last night, I know alcohol can cause shorter, more frequent feeds. A night feed always takes about an hour here including winding, a change of nappy if needed and 20 mins of rocking back to sleep, and we do this 2 or 3 times a night. Finding it weird that people are freaking out because their babies have regressed to feeds of that frequency... it is what we have every night, if she goes longer it's the exception! I've just got used to it. I guess you get used to that longer chunk of sleep of it's normal for you but I think having a young baby who sleeps for that long at a time is the exception rather that something to be expected.

I have been working on anger management. My prescribed self help book is actually very good and has given me some new ways to think about things. A big revelation is that I have a tendency to blame events or people when I get angry, eg it's mini yompings fault as she won't stop crying, and this (blaming others or events) means the anger is caused by something beyond my control - but that isn't the case. It is my reaction to, and assumptions about, the event (in this case, her behaviour), which causes my anger and impatience. It helps me a lot to remind myself that she is reacting to something herself, she is not doing it on purpose just to wind me up! My reaction is what is causing me to get wound up, and that is within my control so I can change it. I am also working on forgiving myself. The book lists some personality traits that can make people more prone to getting irritated easily: seeing things in black and white, taking things personally, being a perfectionist and focusing on the negative rather than acknowledging the positive achievements. Any one of these can mean you are quick to get irritable. I have all 4... and I am not to blame for that. So I feel like I'm starting to deal with this. The book gives some useful strategies and ways of thinking that are helping when I feel my stress level rising and I am happy that there is a way to tackle it and proud that I am doing something about it.

Oh, and Elpis? I would have squeezed it too. I am a compulsive squeezer! Have to stop myself peeling the dry skin off mini yomping's head while she feeds

YAY for you yomping! That book sounds great. Well done for making the time to read it & taking the advice on board.

DS can happily go anywhere from 2-4 hours for feeds, even though he's FF! 4 hour schedule my ass.....

londonlivvy am sure your MIL visit will be fine!!! She's Kiwi, right? Things that Kiwi grannies seem to go on about (just as a heads up): swaddling (very big on this), lots and lots of fresh air circulating round baby's head in cot, formula (bad, but marvels at availability and convenience of pre-made formula), amazement at central heating & insulation in British/Irish houses meaning house is not an unhealthy icebox for babies in winter, merino bloody everything for baby (and then realising it's not necessary inside insulated, centrally heated houses), Plunket nurse says XYZ (NZ version of public health nurses, but does regular home visits & provides way more service).... well that's what DMIL & her friends seem to yak on at me about.

Ok had GP checkup and my bleeding is probably my period. But now I have the opposite of high blood pressure - 100/30! Said I looked pale & drawn. I do feel lightheaded a bit. No suggestions offered of what to do about it... Squid ??? You're the on-thread medical expert

Btw squid am not trying to be cheeky, sorry!!! You don't actually have to offer any suggestions.....

Zara I am trying not to notice how strained the 3-6 vests are..... We have washed and dried 2 6-9 babygros and they hav suitably shrunk a little and fit perfectly...... Not even 9 weeks. Hope to get some time out of 3-6 ones!!. Need to up vest size now Definately . What's next? Age bloody 3-4?!

Explosive pooh at 4,30. Sigh. Total clothes change. Hope bedclothes ok. I know I'm lucky, nearly 6 hrs but over 7 was so so much nicer.

Glad baby elpis improving.

Right let's get this boyo back to sleep. ..,,,,

OMG yomping. Booze causes more frequent feeds? I had no idea! As its the weekend I've drunk a glass of wine each night. And the sleeping has been worse. Sod that. I like wine but I like my sleep way more. Back to cobra 0% for me then (and thank you thank you for telling me). Also well done you on the help book. Sounds like It's helping you to see a new way forward, so hurrah for that.

Zara, yep, MIL is a kiwi. Thanks for the heads up on their isshoos! We have a new build house too, so a lot warmer than our previous flat and her home. We.already swaddle (in a blanket loving knitted by her) but am keen to try out a sleeping bag too. A friend is lending us one. Do you swaddle on top of a.sleeping bag? Sounds like there may be encouragement to move from Moses basket to cot re the air circulation. We will see.

And re the blood pressure, I'd be tempted to eat all the things that are bad for you / reputed to raise blood pressure eg fat /salt. [Wink]

Huffle, much sympathy. I think regression of sleep vs what you are used to is the worst.

just popping in quickly to give to yomping, so pleased you are dealing with it so well. so many people run away from these problems, its so great to see people actually asking for help and trying to fix the problem.
and zara there isnt much you can do for low blood pressure (mine is so low sometimes i should be dead- family trait!!) but im always told to drink plenty of water, eat properly, when going from sitting to standing do.it v slowly and carefully. HTH. x

londonlivvy no I just swaddle but will move on to a sleeping bag when I'm back in Ireland. That seems to be what ppl do in NZ, or even introduce sleeping bag at 6 months? Right now because its hot I swaddle DS (tightly or loosely, depending on his mood) in a big muslin (120x120cm) to sleep. If it gets cooler during the night (temp varies hugely in NZ houses) I tuck a thin merino blanket around his body (but not under mattress).

Actually those giant muslins are really handy, great as a light summer blanket or for draping over carseat to completely protect from the sun. If you want to make your MIL feel useful, ask her to get you a pack for summer, tell her you can buy them at Farmers or Baby Factory

Thanks mickey for the tips - I am a bit naughty on the drinking enough & eating enough at the moment - just don't get a chance with Tommy! It'll be easier when DH is here. Hehe I like your suggestions though huffle...

Sorry it was you livvy who had the eating naughty suggestions for me!! huffle I'm so disappointed DS will be too big when we're back in Feb for the stacks of 3-6 month winter clothes I've been given!!

Livvy u do not swaddle on top of bag. They always come with layer instructions Nd what tog bag to use in what temperature. If you look at gro bag website
www.gro-store.co.uk/requestcatalog/index/
Select link on far left 'safe sleep guide' and think is page 19 or 20.

We not moved to bags yet as he doesn't kick blankets off and afraid to change anything incase upsets sleep anymore!!