October 2012 babies part 2: winding, yawning and grizzling, and first smiles?

[YompingJo]

Part 2: in which our babies learn to sleep through the night and make us tea in the morning

God zara I forgot to reply to your heartbreaking post. Please don't feel bad, you really tried your best. I was amazed at the lengths you were going to. You have made me realise how lucky I am able to breastfeed Smorglet. I know that doesn't really help you though. I think elpis' advice was good though.

crazy congrats on the smile! I'm still not sure we're getting proper ones here, they are always followed by wind or puke. He's trying though.

We're home. paediatricians decided to go for oral antibiotics rather than IV, which would have meant a couple of days in hospital. Little man was so brave when his bloods were taken. We have to bathe him three times a day and massage the abscess. If it hasn't completely drained by Monday the surgeons will have to operate.

I couldn't believe how quickly it developed. But he's feeding well and doesn't have a temperature, unlike DD.

Great news elpis do they know what caused it?

fantastic news elpis hope the antibiotics improve things.

p.s. LOVING the mumsnet talk app!!!!!

Just trying to catch up. Wanted to pop on quickly for Zara.

When your DC is crying, do you let him suckle on your little finger? Pinkie finger with pad to roof of the mouth and nail on tongue. It simulates nipple and is generally quite calming. I find cuddling and letting my Ds suck my little finger until he falls asleep is quality bondimg time more so than BF as I can look into his eyes. And amazing that it's MY finger calming him.
HUGS! and damn MN rules

Elpis really glad everything's more or less ok and that baby Elpis hasn't had to be admitted to hospital. Sounds like you had a bit of a scary day though

Bella I don't blame you for feeling gutted about your DH going to this wedding. We're with the kids all week, the weekend is like an oasis in the desert in some ways for you.

And a big yes to any time away from the children feeling amazing. Went to get my hair cut on Saturday and I felt a strange combination of worried, guilty and ecstatic. Listened to music in the car at volumes that may make ears bleed and sang at the top of my lungs. Got a few people looking at me like this or this but it was ACE!! It really lifts my mood. It was a positive mental health moment!

I have been reading but not had time to write and there were so many people I wanted to respond to. Like others, zara's post made me cry and cry and feel like a selfish cow for whinging about being a milk machine - second everyone's better worded comments about what an amazing mum you are and how hard you tried and how much you do for your little one.
elpis - horrible day for you - glad you are home and the plan is lower key than it could have been. Fingers crossed, keep us posted. (and no, sleepsuit was picked up by boyfriend in supermarket! almost all of ours are 2nd hand off ebay - and I think that's the only pink one as well!)
bella really wish I had any kind of advice, but am thinking of you
And yes, I am totally jealous that boyfriend goes out playing football one night a week and is going to work party tomorrow (and will get drunk) etc
He says I can express and do these things too but it never seems to happen, you know?!
mickey don't know how comfortable you feel about the police, but if you are seriously worried like others have said could try a pre-emptive call see what they suggest. But you may think that's unhelpful. Thinking of you too.

Busy busy busy but happy here - Jess still being angelic - met up with a mate from med school yesterday who is taking a year out of medicine to do temp work and some travelling - so lovely that I have time to catch up with all my mates at the moment!! We had a relaxed coffee, then lunch, then a walk and just marvelled at how we'd never seen the other one looking so well. Had a long, sensible chat about how insane medicine is and how we're expected to work 80 hour weeks (while rota-ed and paid for 50) and if you even suggest you'd rather work less hours you're looked at like you're a slacker. It seems so stupid to me, that half the country is unemployed and yet if you don't work stupid hours as a doctor you are completely looked down on. Can't we train more doctors... is working those hours good for anyone... or even fucking safe for patients... grrr

Anyway, I just really fucking needed this break and it seems like so did she and I don't think we even realised it till we saw each other looking all bright eyed and de-stressed. She had just come from her brothers - he has a 2 week old - four of them were staying there - she was cooking, grandma was cleaning, mother was breastfeeding, dad was doing nappies and changing - now that's the way to do it!

Another doctor mate of mine who works in a different hospital is recovering from TB (!!!) and went back to work but despite being told to "pace himself" was put on weeks of 12-hr on-call shifts (by the same people who say crap like "pace yourself") and... unsurprisingly... has completely crashed and is now signed off till January, and feels horribly guilty because all his colleagues are covering for him now (god forbid they could get extra doctors in). HE HAS TB!! I am a bit worried about him and calling him every day and he is taking up a lot of my mental space. Anyway he has agreed to come stay for a few days, not sure how much help I will be really, but seriously!! I am so pissed off with them!

x-posted with crazy - you have been sounding better of late, lady - it's good to read.

Elpis that sounds scary :( but glad you got DS treated so quickly

Bean has a cough, a real rattle-y, phlegmy one. She sounds oddly grown up when she coughs, like a shrunken adult. I don't know why this is such a surprise to me! We were supposed to be going to a dinner tomorrow night but it means a really long drive trhough horrendous wind and rain and loading car with everything and tbh with Bean coughing and my sis (babysitter) already coping with two snot-ridden kids it seems unfair to foist a third upon her. Seriously thinking about giving it a miss but feels a bit wimpy and antisocial. Will see how we get on ON...

No idea what caused it.

DH got his review result - 4/5 but no promotion or raise. He is crying in the kitchen. I am upstairs with the two invalids. I realise how ludicrous this must sound to people like bella whose DHs have lost their jobs, or people who don't enjoy them. If only less of his sense of self-worth was dictated by work.

But thank God I am not in hospital with DS tonight.

squid DS1's back at the childminder, that's why and [guilty mummy] It means that 5 days a week I'm sane and happy, 2 days a week I'm a crazed psycho! But yeah, the doctor's getting me in next week to double check me for PND and reckon so far I'm all clear. So so so so so so so relieved... Thanks for noticing!

Hi everyone.

Have been reading but haven't had mojo for writing and stuff. Thank you everyone for the laundry tips. It's not so she looks beautiful, it's cos we have been lent lots of baby clothes from friends and I want to make sure I return them in a good state.

Reflux had been under control but the last couple of days have been much worse, with her spitting up bile and me hearing her food come up inher throat and go back down. So much screaming and unhappiness. Poor mite. I've done some more reading and it seems that my dairy consumption may play a role and though I'd gone to toast from cereal, there is still a fair amount of dairy in my diet (milk in tea, butter on bread, cheese in sarnies, milk products in cake, biscuits, etc). I don't know whether to cut it all out (sob) for two weeks and see, or whether to go to the doc and discuss with her? So sad for DD, it makes me cry seeing her in pain.

Sympathy to elpis with your poorly bean.
And huge hugs to mickey for what sounds like a stressful situation.
Squid you are a champ helping your sis. Very impressive.
Bella much hugs and sympathy re DH situation. Stressful and not what you need right now. I hope some luck comes your way.
Zara, I feel your pain. When DD is in a terrible reflux way (like tonight) she refuses the boob and I sit and cry whilst giving her a bottle. But we have to remember that nurturing a baby takes many forms and bf isn't the be all and end all. Mums are more than boobs! I hope you get your mojo back soon.

Sorry to those I've missed. Definitely agree that am jealous of DF who gets to leave the house and be a normal person. Sigh.

Thoughts on the reflux question v welcome. I don't relish a dairy free diet but equally I hate seeing her so miserable.

is it just me who's surprised that Kate Middleton is actually fertile? she's so bloody thin. I've been using our plans to get pregnant as an excuse for my extra pounds for ages...

Bloody hell, what a day. Took both kids round to my parents and my useless dad SAT on bean!!! Yes, that is right, he was sleeping peacefully on the sofa and dad launches himself back with full force right on top of him in his usual seat on the sofa. And I'd seen him nearly do the same thing earlier and shouted at him that bean was there and then he does it again but properly this time.

Cue much crying from all involved and trip to A&E. Thank god bean is ok but it was awful to watch.

We were supposed to be going into London just me and dp for our anniversary tomorrow but I really can't face it, exhausted, and I want to be with bean to keep an eye on him, darling boy.

So - zara, Mickey, elpis broke my heart on this catchup.

Especially you, mickey.

My fixed term contract has not been renewed. It's not great, but it's not the worst hing that could happen, either.

Phooey. As of 9 Jan, I'm unemployed.

Hi everyone, still feeling a bit tender today. I really appreciate all your kind words. It's still such an emotional rollercoaster. It's a big shock to go from planning to bf for at least a year to exclusive FF.

In those 20 seconds DS latched the other night my mind started racing with the idea I could relactate, what am amazing surprise for when DH gets here etc etc. of course the reality is that relactation takes a very long time and I don't know if I'm emotionally strong enough for that or if it would even work.

I'n trying just to cherish the memory of the half or dozen or so feeds we actually managed, with him warm and close to me. It felt great those times we did it, I knew everything was working and connected and it just felt right.

A couple of good friends who are bf have offered to see if he would latch onto them (to eliminate what the problem could be). I really appreciate the gesture and know it would provide useful information but I can't bring myself to allow that - because if he did latch onto someone else the feeling of rejection would be so huge I think my heart would actually break in two. :( I'm crying now just thinking about it.

I really want to do more skin to skin/touching with DS but when I put him eg under my nightie he roots desperately. :( He really really wants boob still (whether hungry or not) but the problem is as always he can't latch and then gets very upset. I don't know what to do about this.

beeble I didn't know that about sucking my finger! I will let him do that, that would be nice. Thank you for telling me! I will try this as a way of helping me have more skin to skin.

DS has been getting himself very overtired the past few days! It seems he is so desperate to be awake he doesn't realise he shouldn't be awake for 5 hours at a time...! He woke up at 6 and only got to sleep at 12 today! I was going to go to a mum & baby group today but I have decided against it as I think DS needs a much-wanted proper restorative sleep now, not semi-woken up by getting in car etc.

Thinking of you mickey and of your DH elpis. My DH is not getting a raise or promotion because of the crap funding environment and its made him very upset, when he gets to NZ we need to plan whether he wants to stay in his job much longer.
october glad baby is ok, my god that sounds scary!
londonmrs I am worried that Kate is so skinny from stress! And that the eyes of the media are on her while she suffers HG, awful!

welcome to the lonely night feed club... anyone there? i am so missing DP. we try to have a cuddle after bean is put to bed but its never for long enough. i am also with those jealous of DPs life. im going out on saturday for a meal with some friends though so i will see how it goes!

I'm up mickey! babyLondon ifs being very wiggly. don't think she's planning to go back to sleep anytime soon.

I'm here. Actually got myself up to express as attempting to have an evening out on sat so trying to build a stock. Dd is usually asleep now but hey presto as soon as i start pumping she

plankton are you sure they're allowed to do that? my employer would love to not renew my fixed term contract when it runs out next month but because my job role still exists and they would have to keep my maternity cover on, it would be considered unfair dismissal because of maternity. if the job role no longer exists and you've had a certain
length of continuous service, you'd be entitled to a redundancy package. just make sure you get what you're entitled to!

Oops posting on phone frustrating
... She pings awake and thinks I'll have some of that. Sorry to hear of your dilema mickey no advice but you seem to take everything in your stride so i'm sure you will deal with whatever comes your way.

I'm here! I'll always be here for the next couple of months for your night feeds ladies, as its the middle of the afternoon for me!

Same with you mickey about not getting enough cuddles with OH!

Ooooh I'm fantasizing about a nice night out with DH when he gets here. It'll involve a nice meal out, a glass of wine and finally seeing Skyfall! Then a long awaited sexy time or more likely taking a grizzly poopy DS back off his relieved grandparents...!

dear dear pippa is very unsettled tonight. ive got a headache already!!
again, thankyou so much evryone for the support and advice... i feel better for posting on here. zara i hope you begjn to feel a bit betfer soon, dont be so hard on yourself. as long as baby zara is happy, warm, content and safe, what he is being fed doesnt matter... just,you know, dont give him petrol or anything like that
xxxx

Up here as well - appears that baby smiley has decided she needs to feed hourly tonight. Had first set of jabs on Wednesday so maybe it's that... Or maybe just one of those things.
zara I am so looking forward to finally seeing sky fall. God knows when but one day!
mickey hoping pippa settles for you soon.
planktonette hoping something comes up soon fr you and hugs.

Oh wish I saw you were all up a few hours ago I've had a rubbish night. 8pm-1am trying to get bean off to sleep, up again at 3 and only just got back off to sleep at 6 I really want a night off but I find expressing so painful.

planktonette good to see you back here but sorry to hear your news. My contract was ended when I was just gone 12 weeks pregnant and it sucked. Agree with londonmrss though - if you're still on mat leave then surely that's unfair?