October 2012 babies part 2: winding, yawning and grizzling, and first smiles?

[YompingJo]

Part 2: in which our babies learn to sleep through the night and make us tea in the morning

oh, zara, your post made me teary. i am glad u have this thread as a place to voice your feelings and everyone on here as a source of support. mickey, that sounds horrible. i have certainly felt much more vulnerable since becoming a mummy ( eg worried about walking around my dodgy area in the dark when that never used to bother me), so that must be really stressful.

Mickey I am so sorry to read all that about your dad. You hav dealt with so much and would love to leave it all in the past. I agree with Angelico about pre emptive measures, just in case. I am so angry for you, this should be a lovely time. But anger gets you nowhere. Every time you are stressed by it just look at Pip and let your heart feel the love again.

My FIL is an alcoholic and although still dry has been a total asshole since DS born. DH has had to sort out. This on top of new baby, strrssed mummy band trying to get house finished to move ASAP. I could scream and scream. He is another one of life's losers. Wrecked his children's childhood.

Delight in your daughter Mickey!!! The sins and shite of the last generation can only make us all better parents!!

wantanorange glad I could help in some small way. Seriously am in awe of you doing a PRESENTATION??? I can barely string a sentence together Hope it goes well today, good luck!

Mickey that is unbelievably shit. I think Angelico's right, ask for advice on the relationships board. The women who give advice there are amazing.

October I keep forgetting to say I think you're amazing for looking after 2 having not done the newborn thing in the same way. How are you managing??? And can I be nosy and ask how you decided who'd have the first and who'd have the second? feel free to tell me to eff off!!

Bella thinking of you and your DH in the run up to Christmas. You must be so stressed.

Smiley glad everything's so much better. Hope your nights improve soon because I think they're so important for survival generally (same for you LondonMrs) Hope you're not feeling too anxious about PND/PTSD. I totally know where you're coming from though. Use all support you have with no shame!! It's all about survival.

Oh and three cheers for snuffly baby huffle!! According to baby app he slept for 7 hrs 44 mins!!!!!! Thought he was awake at 3.30. Turned on Ewan while went to wash thrush cream off. Came back and he was asleep.

Yay for bedtime routines!! Please may it keep working.....

just to add, DS2 is currently gurgling on sofa next to me as I type Turned to say hi to him and he grinned from ear to ear and bashed himself on the nose with excitement.

Oh and Developmental milestone?? DSs farts stink. Loud and stinky. This is New. Fathers son indeed.

baby
jess

Sorry, just had to share, will write in a bit when I've stopped dying of cuteness

bella2012 thank you for lovely long message. Do hope your DH finds work soon. I read yesterday that Britons are spending less on almost everything except leisure services like gym membership. Maybe there will be openings in his field?

DH finds out his annual review rating tomorrow. If it isn't at least a 4/5 and he hasn't been promoted, he intends to quit. I have questioned the wisdom of this decision in the current climate and given my salary is a third of his, before bonus (his, not mine - I'm in a union and ineligible for them.) He said I was being unsupportive. At least he's not travelling abroad again until Singapore in late Jan. Assuming he hasn't quit. Sigh.

DD is now ill in bed with a fever - and you know what? I feel seriously underemployed whenever DS is sleeping! Ridiculous! No preschool runs today. Will make soup soon. Hoping very much that DS and I don't catch it, as her temperature was 40c this morning, poor thing.

Embarked on an outing to the Tower of London yesterday which DD enjoyed hugely. Crown jewels, sentry, CASTLE - which looked beautiful at dusk and was surprisingly empty. It took an hour on the bus, but I managed that by riding on the front seat at the top of the double decker and feeding DS, so they were both happy. Tube, overground and bus home to avoid central London in rush hour. Collapsed on sofa and DH ordered pizza.

squid So gorgeous! Marimekko?

And can I just add, without (much) further comment: the in-laws have fucked off to the Caribbean on another two-week cruise. They are my only childcare. Why doesn't that idiot Osborne TAKE AWAY THEIR WINTER FUEL ALLOWANCE NOW?

Just wanted to check in and say hi quickly - the last of my visitors (my parents) left this afternoon, so I'm back to the real world!
DS and I spent the rest of the day relaxing and sleeping - I so needed it, can't remember the last time I had a nap.
Will do a mammoth catch up tomorrow, in between all the cleaning.
Thinking of you all

Thanks crazy. I passed! DH and DD sat in the cafe so I could feed her myself. I have to do another one next wednesday!

Mickey What a horrible situation to be in. My mum is pretty abusive too and I understand what you mean when you say you may not be able to stand up to him. You will suprise yourself I think, a good mummy can find more strength than she knew a person can have when it comes down to protecting their baby. It wasnt until mum shouted at DS that some part of me let go of that fear and stood up to her.

Nearly lost you all. Back soon.

And suddenly everything changes... With DS in A&E after pus and blood spurted from his bum during a nappy change. Took him to GP. Abscess. Waiting for paediatricians. Please please please nothing seriously wrong.

God, Elpis that sounds awful and so scary! Really hope everything is ok.

Oh dear Elpis I really hope everything is okay.
And also Smiley I'm so glad DD's are better! Sorry, I forgot to mention it in amongst my posting last night.
Londonmrss Thats not a dumb question at all! I actually don't use sign language, my hearing loss was only moderate so I have worn a bone-anchored hearing aid since the age of four, so I can hear almost like a non-deaf person. I have a special alarm at night because I don't wear the hearing aid at night, which is tuned into the baby crying, so when she cries I have a big vibrating (oo-err) pad underneath my pillow which wakes me up and DP, clever stuff eh!
Thankyou so much for the support everyone.. Beccus I totally know what you mean about feeling more vulnerable since becoming a Mum. I've felt like that too, it's just the feeling has increased alot more since yesterday! Will be glad when DP finishes work for christmas.
I already feel like he's cutting off half my life.. the midwife came round earlier and I had a complete heart attack because it didn't look like her (we have that wierd wibbly glass in our front door) and all I could see was a big dark shadow and I thought it was him. Then realised he's not even here yet. Great.
Thankyou Angelico for the advice.. I think I will go and post on the relationships board.

oh no elpis. Got everything crossed for you. Hope poor ds better v soon. Keep us posted, we are here if you need us!

mickey I totally second what wantan says, you find courage and strength you never knew you had when it comes to your wee one. I was discussing this with my friend the other day. She said that she has always avoided confrontation, would never dream of even complaining at a restaurant or anything like that, but since she has had her son she is now really good at fighting on his behalf. I know you will be the same and that you will not let yourself be manipulated by someone who does not deserve to be in your life. I am so so sorry you have this stress at such a precious and special time. Much love to you. Xx

Elpis that is horrible and frightening. Thinking of you and hoping they work out what is wrong ASAP. Thinking of you xx

elpis hope you've been seen by now, have a plan and that ds is ok. Paeds are generally very good so at least you're seeing the right people straight away being looked after. It is a horribly scary feeling though, I know.
mickey hugs for you too. I wish I had some more useful advice but I know you will protect your precious little girl.
squid she is super-cute.
Dd just in from school so must go!

Elvis how frightening for you. hugs. keep us posted.

Zara how are you feeling today?

'elvis'? predictive text fail. meant elpis. obviously.

squid she is so bonny! Awww!

midget how are you feeling today?

cherry great to 'see' you!

well done on your presentation wantan! I take my hat off to you. I feel like I have completely lost any brain power I ever had. Having a bit of a down day actually. It just all feels so relentless. Our steraliser has broken so I can't even have a go at expressing and will still seems to be feeding really frequently so don't know that I could ever express enough to leave him anyway. I forgot a parcel to post today and ran back to the house then met dh and boys at the dene a few mins away from our house. I was shocked at how much I relished those few moments on my own, just to be away from them for a very short time. I just need a break. It doesn't help that I am a selfish cow and I really wish my DH wasn't going away to our friends wedding this weekend. Before having ds I was jealous as I wanted to go too but now I would hate to go as I look like a tip and have no craic. I just don't want him to leave me with them all weekend! I know he is having a shitty time and deserves to go and have fun with his friends so I am trying to be a good girl! Does anyone else feel a bit jealous of other halves who still have lives? Or are you all doing much better than me at maintaining your sense of self?

bella I am totally jealous of the fact that my dh still has his normal life and gets to leave the house, go to work and have that interaction with adults. I really miss my job and my friends at work and in fact I said to him last night I wanted to swap places with him. You're not a selfish cow at all. I'm sorry you're having a down day. Can you plan something fun this weekend? I shall also be alone and plan to eat junk food on the sofa in front of the x factor final

Oh and on Tuesday I am having my hair done and DH will have to look after baby cheesy. Have realised it will be the first time he's alone with her for any length of time. He said last night "at least you get a break for a few hours when she's asleep". Ha! That's when I do laundry, tesco shop, prepare meals etc, aargh!

I know. sometimes I would rather be going to work every day. of my DH ever complains that he's tired out that he doesn't have time for himself anymore I want to punch him. I try to remind myself that I'm lucky and t that it's a privilege to be with my baby every day. all day every day. every single second.
sigh. it is wonderful, it's just exhausting and consuming.
mickey that does sound like some cool equipment you have!

Gosh such a lot going on for so many of you...

bella yes feeling knackered and bit that I'm doing all night feeds while dh sleeps in spare room and he does bath time and that's it. Keeps going on about what we are ' doing' at the weekend, like going to the mountains, and while I would love to I also really want a lie in and some sleep.
elpis god that sounds scary, I hope they sort it out soon.
mickey you poor love, I can't imagine having to deal with crap like that right now. I definitely would contact either the police or a local dv charity, they might be able to help in ways you haven't thought of yet.

Sorry to others I've missed - I am so tired I'm finding it hard to distinguish one day from the other at the moment. Last night wasn't great, Smorglet screaming in agony with tummy pain I think. Kept trying gripe water but didn't really help that much. He's still spitting up lots after every feed is this normal? 6 weeks today so might be growth spurt still - he was very sleepy and feeding loads last week?