Due Feb '06 but they couldn't wait that long!!

[TicTac]

Come on Feb '06 girls....

Teuch - I hope you find me here. Really short stats list but here you go

TicTac - due 3rd Feb '06, Peyia was born 23rd Jan '06

Hi, I've got a night off again tonight (i know i'm a bad mother for letting my 4 wk old baby stay out all night again) but i'm finding it harder tonight cos dh is back at work on nights so i'm on my own.

Last week lewis stayed at my mums and i missed him but felt ok about not having him, tonight he's at MIL don't know why but nearly burst into tears when i left him and i've just rung her and he's been crying for a few hours so i feel even worse now.

She's had 3 kids of her own and got 4 other grandkids so i know he should be fine but can't help worrying. I felt a lot better about my mum having him.

I can't wait til i get him back tomorrow but looking forward to sleep (if i can)

Right i'm off to bed.

Morning girls,

Sorry to hear you are feeling so down 3k, I have no experience of postnatal depression but I can imagine it's pretty exhausting too, I know when I was pg at times I just cried all the time and I was so worn out - that, on top of looking after a baby must be hard for you. Do you get lots of help from family/friends? Do they give you chance for a breather? When DH sees things are getting too much for me he takes over and makes me go to bed - even if it's just a 3hour stint it is bliss not to feel obliged to attend every cry/nappy/feed.

Cuffy - I felt like a bad mum when I went out on sat night, granted was only for a couple of hours but was well worth it. If my mum offered to have ds all night (and DH let her) I would gladly ship him off

I am also pretty sure ds has diarrhoea from my antibitotics, he is on alternate breast/formula milk at the moment but every nappy, like you 3k is REALLY dirty, he seems to constantly be straining, has quite a lot of tummy ache and his farts sound much more watery. I have to go back to doc today for my mastitis so I will mention it, kinda reluctant to give him any breast milk now though - however boobs are ready to explode and I don't want to cause any further problems with the mastitis, oh what to do?

How about expressing Chloe? Enough to relieve the pressure, but not to empty them or your body will still think it needs to make the same amount.

3K - I wanna come and give you big hugs :( There is no rhyme or reason to pnd, there is no trigger or cause, its just a cr*ppy chemical imbalance. You do have a hell of a lot going on at the moment - I'm at them bringing a poorly neice over!!! Why do that??? My dad didn't see little man for over a week because he had a bad cold and didn't want to infect us, and then you get people like that!!! It could be that a mixture of the medication, and things starting to calm down again soon that you start feeling much brighter. I'll never forget the feeling of normal ADs working - it was like going into Oz, seeing the world in colour, and only then realising that it had been in black and white for so long. Its still living real life, so its not always pretty colours, but even bad stuff seems much better if you can cope with it.

Post-chiropractor night last night, which means lots of tears :( It seems to release everything in him, and then I guess he must ache so he's miserable.

Proper full day alone today (got both my children all day ) - things are already much more smooth... DD slept til 8am, so DS had a bit of a feed at 7am in bed (I fell asleep, so not sure how long he fed ), and we've managed to get me washed and dressed, him half dressed, and me n DD breakfasted all before 9am . This really is going to take some practise!!!

Morning, I'm really proud of myself, as we didn't wake up 'til nearly 8 today, and still got to school for nine with no shouting!
I feel miles better ( the antibiotics really do help) Also they haven't given me or ds diarrhoea (possibly because I've been taking painkillers with codeine in them too which constipate!)

Cuffy, I'm really for you ( and also that your ds has been given unnecessary d&v!). Flame is right that pnd arrives for no reason, but it really does respond to treatment, and the earlier the better, so good for you to have started the ads. Hopefully that cloud will lift soon for you.

Am going to go shopping now - still have no changing mat . I'm going to take the sling, as I don't want to try and lift the pram into the car (also haven't got my buggy yet). Do I put him in it, then put it on? Or the other way round? Got in a bit of a mess last time I tried.

Sorry cuffy - getting my messages mixed! meant that to 3k!

What type of sling is it? With the ring one, the first time I put it on first, and then adjusted with him in it, and since then I've just been sliding it off still done up, so I can just slip it on, and slide him in, it only needs a teeny adjustment then.

I tried again with my ring sling last night - still think ds looks uncomfy, does yours look comfy Flame?

He falls asleep so fast, I'm guessing he must be fairly comfy!

As for the expressing I have an electric pump but find that it really swells my nipples up and hurts them - I tried handexpressing but never produced much but then again, if it is just a case of getting rid of the excess then guess the amount I can hand express will be sufficient.

I think I'm just a failure as a mother :(. After our single good night and day yesterday, we had a terrible night again - I didn't get to go to sleep until 7am, and Pippa had done over 12 hours with only about 1 hour's sleep. She's so overtired, but just can't settle at night. I'm like a zombie again, and can't stop crying. I really hadn't expected it to be this hard being a mother.

Hugs to 3k. I'm sure that recognising the problem and getting treatment early on is the best way to nip things in the bud.

Awww Tabs, don't beat yourself up - I think we all keep going through shitty bouts like this from time to time, granted ds hasn't stayed awake 12 hours through the night but I have had days where he won't sleep for more than 10mins at a time without roaring for another 3hours non-stop! I guess it is all part and parcel. I wasn't expecting motherhood to be so tiring/demandind/frustrating/emotional (well I think I did but wasn't as prepared as I thought!)Can anyone help you out today so you can get some sleep? Sleep deprevation sucks, you will undoubtedly feel better if you can get some kip today. Sending you huge hugs x

Mine is a ring sling - I put him in first and he slept for the hour I was out, but didn't look comfy. I had his head at the opposite end to the ring, and I think it was backwards, so I'll try him the other way round for the school run later.

Saw the midwife, andmy wound is now clean, so have been discharged

Chloe - if you onlywant to express enough to be comfortable, hand expressing in a hot bath or shower is agod way to try. (It's the only way I can do it at all).

Tabs - Iknow you're not a failure as amother. As Chloe said, sleep deprivation is the worst. Does she sleep at all during the day? If she drops off for even ten mins...lie down and rest. This is why you did all that cooking last month - so you don't have to do anything now. Is there anyone who could take her out for an hour? Now is the time to take up any offers of help you've had. I promise, what you're going through is normal, and it will get better.
I think the shock of motherhood is harder for someone who is used to being in control, and able to manage anything. I was a bit like this with my first, and she was a relativelyeasy baby. Try not to expect so much from yourself.
lots of hugs to you today, and to everyone else who's finding it hard. xxx

awww Tabs!! :( I remember that feeling soooo vividly from DD. You feel like the worse mummy in the world, it was a a big stupid mistake, and your baby clearly hates you because she cries more when you hold her, not settles peacefully. You are exhausted (as you know), and the world seems much worse when you are tired. It won't help because she is picking up on how you are feeling, which is making her more agitated. For the next 24 hours or so, (and I know this will be hard) if there is anyone else who can hold her when she cries (unless it is food related), then let them/make them. You leave the room (preferably to somewhere where you can't hear her). It will give both of you a chance to calm a bit. It doesn't matter if the person trying to settle her has problems - right now it is more important to get you more recovered. I remember spending the best part of 24 hours at my friend's house (with wine ... I didn't get drunk, but definately relaxed!!) - she held B while I just sat still and rested (and cried). We were both much calmer after that.

Jas - yay for being discharged. With the sling - DS seems happiest being upright (guessing it helps with the wind pains), so I have him with his head sort of cushioned between my breasts, and his bum supported with the bottom of the sling - his legs normally dangle down. When he falls completely asleep, he seems to slump to his head being at the bottom end of the sling more, and I bring his legs back in... it looks upside down, but he seems happy!

Wow everyone sounds to be doing a ffabulous job!

Hugs 3k - you sound like you are doing everything right and this phase will pass so long as you make sure you look after number 1!

Re weight loss- OMG - i feel 100 stone. Normally 9 stone 8 to 10 ish at end of pg 12 stone 5 and after birth still 11 stone 9!!! Not much of a drop i was horrified .
Now i am 10 stone 10 ish but with boobs the size of mountains - got dh to lift them for me when i was on scales and weight went down to 10 4 !!

I dont like it...always wanted a boob job but not sure now..

My 3 year old is driving us all nuts its awful byt baby boy ( nameless soul) is angel -cake!

DDs suddenly started the acting out we were expecting :( Yesterday she tried to kick her friend down the stairs, and when that didn't work, slammed the gate in his face . She was really whingy too apparantly. Today she is having to follow me everywhere which is getting lethal because if I turn too fast, I'm falling over her. She has also just thrown a tantrum because I took a towel off her, and punched me in the stomach God help the staff at nursery next week

3k, absolutely nothing I can say that will make you feel better but glad you are getting the HV support you need. Hopefully the tablets etc. will make a difference for you soon
Jasnem - fantastic news, glad to hear you are clearly on the mend.
Tabs/Hotmama - wow, at your weight loss, I've been doing jigs because I have finally shifted a stone . Tabs - there will be days like this but hopefully they will be few and far between, you are never going to be a bad mother because you worry about it which shows how much you care
4B1P - ds2 (also 3yo) had been an absolute horror after dd1 was born but has returned to angelic self just recently so hope yours does too.

Thanks everyone. Managed to get a bit of sleep after posting this morning, and started to feel a bit better. She's slept well during the day again, so now I'm starting to worry that we might be in for another bad night as a result! Just went to bed for 45 mins myself to try and get some sleep in store just in case, and couldn't settle myself! No wonder she has trouble - I'm a bad example . Guess I'll just have to persevere and hope that DH is more use tonight than last.

Thanks for all your advice etc re post natal depression, I've had a good day today although getting tired and irritable now. I do have my mum who lives literally down the road and sister etc to help me out when I need it and DH has taken today off and Monday to help me out which has been great.

DS still not well, doctor prescribed him diarolite which he seems to like. He has to have that for 24 hours then well watered down formula but we have given him a bottle tonight (one scoop of formula to 4oz water) as he was getting upset on just the water but we managed to get down him about 14 oz of the diarolite stuff so fingers crossed he is over the worst. He only had 2.5oz milk all last night and looked really rough bless him but guzzling like anything now and just leaked out of his nappy!!!!

Tabs - you are not a bad mum and I'm sure last night was just a bad one off night. Keeping fingers crossed for you tonight that things improve for you, is your DH home tonight?

Worn out. He slept until about 3pm... and has been awake ever since. Lots of crying and feeding - I have no idea if he's hungry and on a growth spurt, or comfort sucking. My breasts feel deflated, so I have no idea how much he's actually getting. :(

Dummies are in the steriliser... He has finally fallen asleep after the last feed (no idea how long it will last) - I am soooo reluctant to use the dummies, but he looks so exhausted and miserable... if it would help then it seems cruel not to.

Flame - don't beat yourself up over the dummy thing. If it's what he needs right now, then go for it...you can always take it away in a few weeks/months. They only look really bad on bigger kids imo, anyway.

Tabs - glad you feel a bit more human. Wishing you a better night tonight.

My body is reacting to the hourly feeding I seemed to be doing a couple of days ago, by producing enough milk for triplets. Fine except that ds has gone back to every 3-4 hourly. I'm having to wake him up to releave the pressure.No leaking...just full to bursting.

Flame - don't beat yourself up over the dummy thing. If it's what he needs right now, then go for it...you can always take it away in a few weeks/months. They only look really bad on bigger kids imo, anyway.

Tabs - glad you feel a bit more human. Wishing you a better night tonight.

My body is reacting to the hourly feeding I seemed to be doing a couple of days ago, by producing enough milk for triplets. Fine except that ds has gone back to every 3-4 hourly. I'm having to wake him up to releave the pressure.No leaking...just full to bursting.

He was/is just plain hungry! Fed pretty much constantly through the night... gave up rehooking my bra, and he just latched himself on as and when he wanted!! Luckily where it was more a feeding night than crying night, I got a lot more sleep because I can sleep fairly well through feeding.

Dummies are still in steriliser

Hope the rest of you are doing ok today (and your breasts aren't too huge Jas

Morning all. Happy Tabs today! :)
She slept well for the whole day and night, and is sleeping again now! Doesn't seem to fancy activities much at the mo - sleeping is more fun! Ironically I've messed up my body clock over the last few days so still didn't sleep all that much myself, but was at least resting, and at least I'm capable of adjusting myself back without help!

Still not being able to express much, but will keep at it and hopefully it will improve as we get into a pattern. Just want to be able to get enough off for DH to feed her on Thurs night so that I can go to a MN meet up! (Don't suppose Jasnem or Ixel are up for it too?)

Can we talk about baby poo?! A few comments in RL and on here have led me to believe that not all babies have dirty nappies at every change - is this true? Pippa hasn't had a 'just wet' one since my milk came in - is this unusual? Not worried in the sense that she is gaining weight ok, but curious really.

Flame - I wouldn't worry about if he needs a dummy. I had the same mental debate, and tried Pippa with one, but she spat it straight out - think she knew I didn't want her getting too attached to it .

DD didn't always had pooey nappies, but DS has only had one just wet one. DD could go through the night without needing a nappy change though, and DS is soaking through his babygro (hoped that changed to cloth would make it last longer, but then the wraps were too big so they still leaked!). I think he's just trying to get me used to this whole wiping of boy bits . So I guess that its just every baby being different.

Bought some velcro wraps today, so hopefully we can carry on with the cloth again.

Glad you had a better night Tabs and feel more human again

Tabs - glad things were better last night. I remeber so much what you were saying when it was all going pear shaped from when i had ds, as someone else said when you are used to being in control babies are so hard. Also constantly analysing what they are doing does not help but is almost impossible to avoid.

Re the nappies we have not had just a wet one either since birth - always poo!!

Must go to bed now as i think we all have a coldy bug here and i feel shattered and i got about 8 hours sleep last night between 9pm and 9 am so i shouldn't! My mum arrives tomorrow am and ds is having the day off school as he is runny nosed and tired.