Sept 2008 - no witty title as we're too busy dealing with stroppy 3 yr olds.

[MrsArchchancellorRidcully]

Hello all. Couldn't see a new thread so thought I'd do the honours. Sorry for rubbish title, I'm no good at witty! :)

Oh Debs your poor DD. I bet she hurt herself badly as she was trying to protect Lucy when she fell. I fell with DD in her baby car seat when she was 3 months and ended up putting my teeth through my top lip to avoid DD falling badly (thank god she was in car seat).
I hope she gets better soon and bloody sods law about cello lessons, poor love.

Sounds like birthdays are going well. DD's was last weekend and some of you saw the pics on fb. We hired a room at a local sports centre and for £45 they provide bouncy castle, bikes, slides and play mats and you provide the food.
It went really well and I managed to invite all her friends from nursery who have just left to start school, so she was delighted as she is really noticing most have gone to school and left her and one other sept baby behind. She has got new friends coming into her room at nursery as they all move up a room but I think by Jan she will be really wanting to go to school. We did look into preschool but just can't make it work with DS going to nursery etc and me wokring 4 days a week.

DS starts nursery next Tues (2nd). Arggghhhhh. That means I am back to work then. Arrggghhhhh.

I do want to go back sort of - I think I'm a better mum when I work and I get extravagant things like lunch hours and tea breaks - but I am also dreading it. His settling in sessions at nursery have been fine but it's the morning routines, suits, office politics etc that I hate. I've been wearing leggings or jeans for a year now!
I'm going back 4 days till March, then they will review it and may extend till end of August or may not (apparently I am 'needed ft'). Once DD goes to school, I'll be FT and DS will go to nursery 4 days and to his godmother's one day a week. At least till Dec I'm working a 3 day week cos of hols to take.

carrie I luurrvvee playmobile. We bought DD the playmobile campervan and swimming pool and, along with peppa's treehouse from nana, she hasn't stopped playing with them. We have them on the dining table and she is under stirct instructions not to drop anything for DS to chew/choke on. They even have tiny cutlery, juice cartons and suncream :)

DG thanks for the message of support and I feel your pain. DS is big too and at almost 10m old he's a mediocre eater. He's not too fussed about milk in the day now, even though i still offer 4 bottles - he'll take about 4oz but he's waking once a night for milk cos I think he needs it and it's far nicer to have a bottle when you're half asleep rather than in the day when it's far too exciting.....

Thanks everyone, the fracture clinic went well, she has a tiny fracture to her elbow on the inside. No cast just a huge cotton wool bandage and an iodine dressing on the huge wound, yes DD did hit the roof when that went on. We just have to keep an eye on the wound and hope it doesn't fester. IT is still painful but she is under instructions to start moving it on Saturday pain or not. Her Cello teacher is really nice and is giving her loads of theory to take her to grade 5 so I'm not losing money.

I am exhausted this week from College. Seriously it is only 2 full days but I could hardly keep my eyes open last night and me and the girls laid in till 9am this morning. Got my first proper assignment and have 2 weeks to get it done so lots of working for me. I just hope Robyn starts playing ball about going to bed. 3 times this week DP has managed to get her to sleep by herself which is a huge improvement, I just wish she would do it for me.

Wow MrsA feels like that's come around so quickly. Hope ds settles well.

debs am gagging on the thought of having to change wound dressing. You are a strong woman!

Well we had our first tantrum at the school gates yesterday. Think ds1 is knackered from doing full time . DH spoke to the teacher this morning and asked her to keep an eye on him as he told us he was unhappy after falling over in the playground and grazing his chin.

Sooooo....
I know why Toby is so distressed about pre school all of a sudden :(
He is being bullied :(
I just fucking knew it.
A child does not go from happily running in every morning to clinging and begging me not to leave him for no reason!
I had a word with pre school last week and they said no problems.
So I accepted this.
Then today I took him to a messy play session for kids and mums in the afternoon...oh my god :(
One child who hasn't been there too long (conincidentally after he started was when Toby began to be upset) was simply vile to him and his mother just sat there.
I am so upset and angry and dh is away and I don't know what to do.
I can't go through this again. Ds1 was badly bullied from nursery right though to year 2 by the same child and school always played it down.
This child took every toy Toby had, snatched, pinched and crushed his hand.
Toby shares well and gave the child the toys without complaint but it broke my heart.
The child ended the session by screaming and throwing a brush across the playground. His mother then stepped in. Oh, and she is a teacher apparently (this is relevant bear with me!)
After the session I spoke to the manager and said well, now we know what the problem is! She said this child had never behaved like that before and that ships other works full time so it was perhaps because she was there?
I am so angry with the pre school...there are on,y 8 kids to 2 key workers most mornings so there is no excuse for missing this.
Wwyd?

If at all possible I would move him.

I now have no patience with settings or staff that at best ignore/are unaware or at worst, lie. But that is me. Having been through what I have with DS1 I have begun to believe that school is overrated anyway.

Moving or removing always seems like a drastic step, but that is only because of our culture and belief system. There is more than one way to skin a cat.

Write to them, making an official complaint. It isn't the bully's fault btw, although I know you probably want to strangle him. The truth is, if the teachers are missing that, they are not supervising properly and even if that bully is removed, another may well step in.

Ask them too for their behvioural and SEN policy.

Don't want to strangle him star, he is a 3 year old child but I don't like his behaviour and the fact that it went Undisciplined.
Yeah.
I need to move him.
Can't believe the same shit is happening again.

Moving him sounds like the best plan, more for the staff that haven't done anything than the child.

Maebh goes to a new pre-school this year one day as wel as the old one and has settled in no problem (and she's been so resistant before the summer when I'd told her about it).

I hope you manage to get it sorted

Thanks.
Am unsure what to do tbh.
Typical that dh is away til next thurs!!
He isn't going in tomorrow.
I can't face the stress/worry.
Will sleep on it.

badvoc. With that ratio of adults / children I would expect a pretty good level of monitoring. If they are turning a blind eye to regular bad behaviour then I wouldn't be at all happy either.

I went to see a pre-school with DS a few years ago. The staff, were frankly, shit. While I spoke to the leader, 2 other staff were telling off one child (why it took 2 of them to speak to a 3yo I have no idea) and another child was trying to scrap with my DS and any other child who got in his way . I knew the DC's nursery would never let that happen so decided there was no way DS was going there and just kept him at nursery instead.

ooo, while I think about it. Does anyone have one of those wake up lights (Lumie or Philips - although my sister thinks her Philips one with ipod dock is a bit shit). I've had enough of struggling on dark mornings so am going to splash out on one in the next week or so.

We have a nightlight athe top of the stairs? Is that what you mean? Got mine off amazon.
Wrt pre school, the ratio is usually 1:4 and some days if kids are off sick/on hols its even less so I am pretty shocked that they have never seen this before.
Will speak to them later today.
I am taking him back down to 3 mornings (when this child isn't there).
I don't know what else to do.
Will check out the other pre school and see how I feel after half term...

badvoc so :( for you and Toby. And for the bully - if his parents and teachers aren't going to intervene and correct his behaviour then he's set for a pretty miserable time too. If Toby can only go on days that that child isn't there, then that's brilliant, but obviously you're right to be concerned about any sort of childcare where incidents like this go un-noticed or are ignored. Can you keep a diary of incidents, or go and observe/be the parent helper more often? I honestly don't know what I would do other than kick up stink with my DCs keyworker once I had witnessed behaviour like that for myself.

debs rather you than me with the wound dressing, I hope you have a cast iron stomach! Good news wrt the theory and not missing out too much on her music lessons.

DS1s birthday finally seems to be over after a full week of celebrations! He's had some incredible presents and a lot of fun with grandparents, but they've all left again now :( So we're off to the soft play for tea to eek out the fun rather than have to face the quiet house and return to normality! We've got two parties tomorrow and a baptism on sunday so its going to be a weekend of cake

Carrie I loved the wound dressing, it was a bit gunky and very orange from the iodine. DD complained as usual but let me put another patch and bandage on it. Going to take her to minor injuries on Sunday and see what they think to it.

Badvoc it is awful when there is bullying and the teachers don't want to do anything about it. DD1 was bullied all through primary and the school never acknowledged it. Even now I don't think she has fully got over it even though she has great friends. She is touchy and every little disagreement sets her off.

badvoc I was looking at the sunrise simulation alarm clocks, they have mixed reviews on Amazon. I need to get a head start on the kids in the mornings.

carrie what's the cake tally so far this weekend? I've made banana cupcakes .

badvoc Sorry to hear ds being bullied. Hope you can find a better setting, but at the same time can you teach him strategies to deal with grabby/hitty children? When A moved up to preschool they explicitly taught him to shout NO! Don't hit me/snatch that! I DON'T LIKE IT!, and things like Wait Your Turn, and Say Sorry,You're Not Being Nice.

All of which obviously were used against me probably more than the other children, but have stood him in good stead at the play cafe we go to which is full of.. children being raised to be entitled as hell, let's say. One child was trying to not let him into the soft play bit last week saying "you can't come in" and A replied "yes I can, you're just being Very Silly"!

NC...I have tried that with him today :)
Will spend most of tomorrow feeling sick to my stomach :(
A sounds ace :)

meglet you don't want to know, I actually felt sick by the end of saturday and was craving something savoury, I just had toast for dinner, and never got onto puddings at the baptism as the main course was so incredible!
NC they sounds like some great things to teach kids

I've had to phone the enuresis clinic at the hospital to ask them to write to DDs new class teacher about her toileting ishoos. DD has to drink loads of water to have a full bladder so she gets the feeling of needing to go to the loo. I've reminded school several times, and even explained that just reminding DD to drink isn't enough, she needs to sit and properly drink from her bottle - it should be empty by lunchtime. I've given permission for her to not be allowed out to play until she's drunk enough. But still DD comes home with a pretty much full bottle every day, claiming she 'forgot' to drink, and has had loads of wet pants and we suspect has another uti (need to get a sample to doc to confirm). I feel a bit underhand getting the hospital to write to the teacher, but she simply has to take it seriously as a medical issue. She's an NQT and although seems like an excellent teacher, she's got a helluva lot to learn about what being in charge of a class actually looks like. But equally I don't know how to make DD take more responsibility...she just doesn't care about being wet, and enjoys school so much that she'd never choose to take time out to drink. Argh!

carrie I'd get the hospital to put it in writing too. If you've already told the school then they really should have been more supportive.

I wasn't meant to be on here tonight (trying to get early nights) but the news stories about the man who murdered his children and the missing little girl in Wales have totally thrown me .

Carrie
Absolutely get the hospital to write to the school.
That is totallY unacceptable.
In fact I would ask for a meeting with the HT and make your concerns clear.
Next stop of b of gov.
I have zero tolerance for this sort of thing.
My sons year 3 teacher was NQT and he made no progress at all in he class all year..not impressed.
Meglet.
I didn't sleep very well last night either :(

Well only 2 more sleeps til dh is back!
boys really missing him :(
Went to ds1s college open day this morning...was good.
I think it's the right place for him.
Toby still clingy when going into pre school but no tears yet this week.
Am helping on a pre school trip tomorrow...it's going to lamp to down isn't it? :)
Not sure why but feeling very low today...it's my big b day in Monday so this weekend is my birthday weekend and everyone is asking why I am not doing anything...simple reason is no one cares enough to arrange anything :(
My sil has been moaning at me for weeks abut having a party..I am not organising my own 40th birthday party!
Once I made that clear she stopped and I am guessing no one else can be bothered.
Oh fgs, just feeling sorry for myself today.
Normal service will resume tomorrow :)

Sorry to hear that Badvoc - ikwym, I never had a hen party as with a one year old and a wedding to organise I wasn't going to organise my own and no one else did :( also went wedding dress shopping with just a one year old in tow :(

What would you really like to do? Maybe treat yourself to something nice instead?

Meh.
Everyone else's indifference has rubbed off on me!
Really couldn't care less now...
That's so :( about your wedding plans.

Carrie I think you should tell the head too. But so it in a "I want to come up with a strategy to support the teacher as this is a very important issue" type way. The first half term is very hard for nqts and I'm sure she'll appreciate the support.

Well DD does have a uti, and is on new antibiotics. I've told the teacher who, for the first time since term started, told me something pro-active she's been doing to encourage DD to drink. I obviously need to put DDs welfare first, but like debi said I also want to help this teacher develop and learn and be the best she can be so I want to feel we're working with her not against her. I can see her slowly getting into her stride and looking more confident in the classroom (and I have no complaints over the education side of things). If things don't drastically improve then I will have to talk to the head, (remind me of that badvoc coz I hate confrontation ) but I feel I need to be doing something too towards making DD take some responsibility. Its hard coz in my care I hand her a drink and if she hasn't drunk enough, make her sit down til she has. School has a duty of care but also she's 5 1/2 and knows perfectly well what to do...argh. Letter is on its way from hospital to teacher - actually the fact that she has a uti is a good thing from this pov as it adds weight to this being a medical problem. Sigh. And we had to take a stool sample of DS1s to the doc today as he's had a bleeding bottom DH and I were poking through the poo trying to work out if a red bit was blood or red pepper

Monday you say badvoc...? Well we'll all be here with banners, balloons, those really irritating blowers, cake and more!

Carrie.
This isn't about her being an nqt imho.
Its about her not following medical instructions which have resulted in your child needing medical attention.
I think that's pretty serious and would be speaking to the ht asap tbh.
I don't like confrontation either and I believe in live and let live etc - except when it comes to my kids.
People don't mess with my kids :)
I have had a bad experience in the past obv and that of course clouds my view but school are in loco parentis whilst your child is there and in this instance they have failed your dd.
I hope you get it sorted to your satisfaction x