Feb 2010 - turning two and turning heads

[BigBadBear]

I love how being female means a sickness bug is never just possibly a sickness bug

PA

Nice to hear your relations with your DH are back in the passion zone, SB - but sorry you're feeling crook (do another test to make sure!!)

Love the sound of the cat outfit, Mous. Highly appropriate, given your MN name..!

BBB so sorry your DH isn't cutting the mustard again. Bah. He needs a good spanking sometimes.

Survival look after yourself, this illness has gone on far too long

Scones you're not a bad mum, I'm sure loads of mums go through these kinds of emotions and situations. I imagine you haven't got time to think about finding a childminder at the moment, but after the move it might be worth seeing if there are any around if your DD doesn't settle at the nursery - I know a lot of mums whose children are very happy with childminders. That said, it sounds like your DD's actions were very age-appropriate responses to unfamiliar situations rather than naughtiness. It certainly took my DD several goes before she finally got the idea about sitting down for singing and story times. I'm sure the nursery staff will be well aware of that sort of thing too.

PA glad you're well again, although tough that you're not getting much of a chance of restful sleep atm. Is your DD teething too, by any chance?

Well, DH's and my row cleared the air and we've been good as new since. I think you're right about him displacing stress/frustration onto me, PA - which I resent, but also accept it's inevitable sometimes. And I need to be a bit more sensitive to his situation too sometimes. He's such a star in most ways that it's easy to take him for granted a bit sometimes - a mistake I've made before and don't want to make again.

Well pancakes were a huge hit with DD. Including the broccoli and pesto variety I made topped with melted cheese. She gobbled the sweet one (I just put a bit of agave syrup on top so not entirely heinous..!!) then demanded more, but when she realised she would have to wait, tried the broccoli one, decided she liked it and ate the lot. Splendid .

mous how long did your 'dirty nose' last for? Mine mostly cleared after I had three nights of sinus draining luminous yellow stuff for a few nights but still a little bunged.

IC sounds like how me and DH operate at times. Sometimes they are too nice and as you say it's easy to take it for granted.

Waves at everyone... . Sorry to hear about poorly LOs and mums, and sorry to hear about difficult relations with various dp/dhs . Felt like moaning about minor inconveniences in life today but after a chat with a close friend I pulled myself together: turns out there is an awful lot of separating/divorcing going on among quite a few RL friends at the moment which really me. Also made me very sad, and put my moaning into perspective, because in each case there are young children involved. Won't claim that things are always perfect but dh and I have been together for 17 years and married for 11. Unless we suddenly totally lost interest in one another (not likely ) I can't see things going wrong in a hurry... [firmly shoos off RL jinx!]

Scones any plans for tomorrow or is the party at the weekend?

Happy birthday scones DD1. I hope you'll manage to enjoy your day x

scones I've been thinking about you and am sorry you are feeling resentful towards DD1. Wondering as DD2 is such a angel you feel you missed out with DD1 and the hard work she is/was. I don't have any useful advice or help but I am thinking of you.

PA I had gunk coming out for weeks (3?) in the morning, but the headache was gone after a week or so (TMI and that was after I was better).
DD2 lasted very long too. She just stopped coughing last week.
Hope you get better now.

scones happy birthday to DD1.

Scones happy birthday to your DD1! x

Oh dear, dd2 is back to refusing naps. Just got her up after half an hour's shouting and told her she can play. She's headed straight into dd1's room to create havoc there....

dd1 got her sister counting to 18 last night . I am a little how much further dd2 is compared to her sister at 2 (but then dd1 had almost no hearing at 2 due to glue ear). dd2 also kept repeating sentences I read last night trying to point to the appropriate word in her book (she sees her sister reading like that). I don't think I am a bad mum but I am not a natural teacher and don't go around habitually counting everything in sight or commenting on the grass being green, the ducks brown or whatever. Well, dd1 is perfectly capable to tell colours apart and is reading, writing and doing maths very well at school now, so I don't think my neglectful parenting had too much of an effect.

Happy Birthday scones DD1!

How is everyone feeling today?

BG I am one of those mum teacher types you refer to, and it's merely because I can't think of anything to say other than facts. Aged under two years, DD1 once asked me why it was raining and I went into a full blown explanation of the water cycle. I'm such a scientist. I'd love to be more creative but I just don't have the imagination! I even watch Countdown with the DDs (for some reason DD2 gets very exccited if the letter W emerges).

Had a lovely morning with DD2 at a soft play place today. She's such a poppet at the moment, it's adorable. DD1 is going through a nice phase too, particularly as she has just cracked reading and is really into her maths as well (see? These things I can realte to, when she's going through a massively imaginative role play type phase, I'm lost).

BBB I am no good at the creative imaginative bit either Not sure I should have been a mother...

I am a bit crap with all of it . DD1 -demanded- asked me to speak all the time so I did. DD2 doesn't really mind so I don't [probably doesn't help her speech emoticon].

Arrrrgghhh can I complain about communism buildings? My neighbour reported that there is 6 people living in our flat instead of 4. I am so angry. It is a lie, and their reasoning is that there is too many shoes for 4 people. arrrggghhh. I am a very honest person and it really rills me when I can't prove it. Somebody lied too. I asked them to come up and check and they refused, they just want more money from us.... grrrrr

demanded ordered tantrumed

that is better! [doh emoticon]

mous that is infuriating! Is there any way you can 'prove' it's just the four of you? I would refuse to pay more until they come and count!

Oh, and in case that came across strangely, I do obviously talk, chat, sing, read to and with my two, it's just that I don't turn every situation into a 'learning opportunity' [not a fan of 'education speak'
Anyway....

I don't really do educational speaking neither but worry that is why DS is not very chatty I talk to him a lot but doesn't point out things.

Well my nauseas are gone This is such a relief.

I've started to clear out the study and my main mission is to scan photo negatives; so far I've scanned 1,300 photos negatives and 200 slides! And it's not even half (DH was a very kin photographer in his youth!

Scones I hope your dd1 had a lovely birthday and I hope you are feeling a bit better. Get someone to help you with that packing!!! I felt quite sad to read your post about feeling very impatient with your beautiful first born. Two year olds are meant to be infuriating at times, so please try not to be too hard on yourself. I had a slightly larger gap between mine (2 1/2 years) but found the first few months quite hard. Sending dd1 to playgroup two afternoons a week really helped me and also her (for her it was time away from me and the new baby!). It won't harm your dd1 to go to nursery for a bit and after settling in she will most likely love it! (dd2 does two morning in nursery just because she adores it and talks about it all week). But if at any point you feel you are only shouting at your dd1 or you get irrationally angry at her all the time, please do seek help, because like others have said, this could be a sign of PND. Very best of luck with the house move and I hope things settle down soon and you can enjoy both your beautiful girls! This is just a phase and you will be amazed how much fun your two will be when they start playing and giggling together .

mous that sounds ludicrous. I assume you can prove that there are only four of you living there?

Had a nasty bout of D+V last night, I haven't been in so much pain since I was in labour. Fortunately it was all over in about 15 minutes and today I'm just wiped out. It has only strengthened my resolve that maybe I need to take things a bit easier, as I think I am a bit run down.

DH was very good at cleaning the bath after I'd finished (the toilet was already in use ) but at one point said to me: "Poor you, you;re bound to have to do through more bouts during the rest of the night." I almost aimed at him, but instead did some swearing . Fortunately the DDs didn't hear and woke up this morning none the wiser. Just hope they don't get it, whatever it was.

I can hear DD1 chatting away but I am determined to do some MN on the laptop just for a few minutes!

Thanks for all your birthday wishes and kind words. DD1 had a very normal morning (just the two of us, DD2 bless her is so quiet she doesn't really count), and a nice afternoon tea with a toddler friend, my DSis and her two younger girls. We sang happy birthday and DD1 and her toddler friend tried to blow out the candles (they couldn't manage it, was very cute). All's well that ends well, I spent the morning feeling sorry for myself sad that it wasn't very birthday-like.

Our big planned party has been cancelled due to imminent move. We're exchanging today and moving a week tomorrow. A WEEK TOMORROW. OH MY GOD.

We have not packed yet.

DD1 is due to have her second settling in session this pm (and to start proper on Monday) so we'll see how it goes. When I have a bit more time and headspace, I may well investigate a CM if she doesn't take to nursery.

Re PND I don't feel depressed at all, but I do honestly sometimes think that my feelings towards DD1 aren't healthy, I can be more honest here than I usually am in RL, I resent her I really do, she seems such a drain on my time and attention (SHE IS MY CHILD!!!!!) and especially now when I have so much going on. Honestly, when I see it in black and white like that I am all over.

survival I am really glad that you took some sick days. I hope you did nothing, nothing but relax in bed. How are you now?

BBB that sounds horrendous. that things not great between you and DH. Hugs.

SB and PA very pleased that you both got a negative! PA that would have been so awful. DH and I have discussed what would happen if we'd slipped up (have the coil now so unlikely, thank goodness) - we agreed we don't think we could go through with it. Although I do wonder. Anyway we're not even DTD at the moment, I'm too frikkin knackered.

Mous that is TERRIBLE. Surely they HAVE to come and check before you pay more money.....? That is just so unfair.

BG I think (unless they are neglected) children pick up what they need to from normal interaction. I didn't read to DD1 until quite late, a year probably, and now she just loves books and we read all the time. And I didn't do loads of interacting with her when she was a baby. That sounds wrong. I mean I didn't spend hour after hour talking and singing to her like some mums do. She speaks just fine now. I'm digging a hole here so I'm going to stop. I do talk to DD1 honestly. (Not much to DD2 right now as she doesn't demand it and resources are finite.) BBB love the explanation of rain.

IC when is your scan? Good luck, and enjoy seeing your little wriggler.

bc how are you doing?

Scones your dd1's birthday party sounds just perfect . Apologies for being blunt but please do consider speaking to a HV or GP about your feelings. Feeling resentment towards your daughter is not normal, and if you felt this way about your new baby alarm bells would ring immediately with most people. It is no different with your dd1 because she is really only still a baby herself! PND is not 'depression' in it's classic sense and can show itself in many ways, one of which is resentment towards a baby. I am not saying there is anything wrong with you but please talk to someone in RL if things don't settle down after you move.

Scones that sounds ideal for a 2 year-old's birthday! I don't think they need things to be too big and hectic at this age!
You sound like you feel guilty about resenting DD1, which shows how much you still love her, even if you're feeling more negative towards her. BG speaks wise words as she's been on that dark PND bus, so it might not be a bad idea to at least talk to someone who's an expert in these things. You've got a lot on your plate at the moment with two LOs to look after and the imminent move. The stress is bound to play out in all sorts of ways.
Look after yourself.

Mous that's outrageous. Is there anything you can do? It seems so dreadful that unfounded accusations can be accepted by the authorities without even checking out their veracity

BBB ouch, that sounds deeply unpleasant. Are you all okay now? I did have to arf at you almost aiming at your DH, though.

Survival are you feeling any better now you've had some proper bedrest?

PA hope your two are on the mend now.

BG has DD2 napped today?
I'm most relieved that not only is our lunchtime nap fully back, but DD seems to be getting tired a little earlier too and sleeping longer. I'm wondering if her molars are making her a bit fidgety at night and not sleeping as soundly as usual (but thankfully, no disturbances the last few nights).

DD had her first salon haircut today. It was at a place properly set up for young children - little model cars for them to sit in and a DVD screen in front of each place plus biscuits on offer. DD was good as gold and thoroughly enjoyed nibbling her biscuit while watching animal puppets singing while she had her hair cut in the shiny red and chrome car. The stylist did a very fast and efficient job and in less than ten mins, DD had acquired a cute pageboy style bob. Suits her and is a lot less hassle than her flyaway tresses were!

Dating scan tomorrow. Ulp. Wish me luck.
I flippin' hope all is well, because if it isn't, I've got a frightening amount of weight to lose