October 2011 - our happy, chatty babies!

[GroovyRach]

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And boob is for comfort too. get him to read up online. A totally I'm sure there are books aimed for dads. Dh is so pro bfing more so from reading up on it and cost it's hard for your dp but he's got to get over that attitude as not supporting bfing.

Penelope Leach - your baby and child is fantastic book as not evangical about any particular style of parenting but good solid advice. There's a section where 2 mums are dealing with baby crying in night. The one who is popped straight on noob settled alot quicker. Also got section for dads and covers all aspects of baby care up to age 5 years.

Oh sche - I feel for you. We had similar yesterday and today I've gone all AP and have L napping in ergo. They need the comfort at this age. I saw a nurse talk about sleep the other day and she said at this age getting them asleep and keeping them that way is essential. Working on sleep/self soothing can come later (4 months minimum, 6 for cc).

Right now it's any means necessary for a happy household. Try calmly explain to DH that boob comfort is important

Just been on wii fit and lost 1 whole lb lol lol hardly anything but last weighed 15 December so with all Christmas food not bad. I'm not dieting (ate Xmas pudding tonight om nom nom) don't know if it's accurate tho, did J baby weight and it said 1st so that's 16lb right? She's 13 weeks on Saturday. Of its right she's back on her line which is reassuring but I'll get her checked properly in a couple of weeks.

I think 1st is 14lbs but wii fit is not terribly accurate apparently.

:-) thanks. It's fun tho dammit she's just woken and given me the big blue eyes.

I haven't played with the wii for ages

I do use it for weight though, despite the accuracy level I think it shows a trend - downwards hopefully!
Well done on the weight loss over Xmas tho'!

I done great on my 1st week of diet loosing 3lbs but just no motivation this wk . Had friends over today so had bought some biscuits to have with tea but ended up eating most of them before everyone got here!! This is why I haven't been buying any!!! Out for walk 2mrw and gym on sat morning for def. needs to be done!

I can join you in shame fuzzy. Been doing so well but bought a carrot and date loaf (not as healthy as it sounds!) and ate half on my own yesterday! Guess what I had for breakfast too...

Yeah I had purposely not been buying any junk cos if there is none in house, I can snack. Bought a sponge thing aswell n have almost ate it all myself. Put me in a shit mood now with a killer headache. Grrrr!!!!!

I'm not dieting. I keep getting dizzy sills and checked blood sugars which were 4mmol which is a little low. Ive earen normal diet breakfast/lunch/dinner/cale Just about to have some nuts, dried fruit, grapes and dairy milk with glass of skimmed cravendale.

Cake not cale. Made some cupcakes with ds with chocolate fudge topping. He didn't want his so I helped scoffed his

And cheese and plum too tonight.

Mmm, mama you are making me hungry!

Trying to avoid the rest of that loaf but it is calling me

I ended up taking him off dp, bf, and he went straight down.

And then had an argument with dp :(

Oh no

It's so hard isn't it? We all want what's best. Third time around the arguments are fewer but still, we have other things to row about instead

Tiredness will do that.

Agree with jnice. I was thinking about you scheh and I recall dh trying to settle ds2 and he was determined to do it but ds2 was only wanting me. Turned out dh was trying to give me a break and felt that's what he'd ought to do. I'd been crying as had very long day with little sleep too iirc and it all ended in me taking ds2 off him. We had row (first one since ds2) and then had big talk. Ds2 is dh's first child as ds1 was prev relationship. I know this is garbled but baby brain is dire. What I was trying to say is he was prob only trying to help and you said baby hadn't slept much earlier (or is that another baby/mum). But sometimes blokes can be so stubborn and also don't get how the sound of your own baby cry really gets to the mummy (as nature intends it to). Right my monkey is messing around so time to settle her x

Scheh You did the right thing. Your baby's wellbeing is more important than DP's ideological concerns. Of course you can get him off to sleep easier than DP does, that's natural right now. It may not won't always be that way. I hope your DP can understand.

I second the P Leach book recommendation. Pretty much the only baby book I've read without an axe to grind.

good god mama you've put me to shame. my whole house is the biggest mess going. i wrote out one room for one day in my diary last night, as i spend my time doing this, that and the other and no room every looks good. it was the dining room today and ive still not done it! sat here watching back to back episodes of obem. perhaps not the best idea as it totally makes me want more.

scheh it can be really hard to see your child in distress. im more inclined to think like your dp, but it is my fourth. no way, i would have been able to have dd1 crying like that either. if you can face it, i would be inclined to let dp try again tomorrow and find a room where you cant hear it and leave it a bit longer. x

scheh i just wanted to explain why my advice goes against others so you dont think im a total bitch

i think it might help to turn the situation around, so, if c was to always cry when you tried to comfort him/put him to bed or whatever, but your dp could do it easily, and you wanted to be able to do it too- how would you feel if dp kept insisting you gave c to him?
wouldnt this mean that c would never learn to be comforted by you? and would therefore always need dp, and wouldnt this mean that poor you dp would never get a break?

hope that makes sense?

I think it's good to let other people try settle baby, but if it got to the point where I could no longer just sit back and hear the screaming, I'd have to give in and dp would just have to accept that. Maybe a time when C isn't tired/hungry is a better starting point to let him try settle, like for a nap? I know dp/dh can feel left out, esp if you are bf but they just have to accept this for the time being. Plenty of time ahead where he can take the lead roll at bedtime

Oh and he can settle his baby, but I think right now, wither u/dp like it, c has a much closer bond with his mother. Not to say there isn't a bond with his father too, but he has been with u for 9mnths inside you, close to u etc. 4 months is still a 'new baby'.

Just my feelings/thoughts. Feel free to ignore

I agree with you fuzzy my DH is pretty good at settling L, but if crying/fussing turns into screaming he and I agree it's time to take the shortcut and calm him down. This means (for now) I take over. It doesn't help me or DH to let L get so worked up.

What helps us is that DH is a regular part of evening routine, does bath the gives a bottle of ebm. During this time I do bedtime with our other boys. Sometimes DH can get him down after this, other times L wants some more boob time.

i agree that if scheh cant stand to have c cry like that, she should step in. deep down i believe that babies are more mums than dads for the reason fuzzy says. my dp loves his babies like crazy, but he doesnt love them like i do. and the reason i know this, is because, i wouldnt be able to work away, if i did, i would rush home every fri- he doesnt, i would want regular updates via texts etc etc the list is endless.

i was under the impression that scheh is struggling with him sleeping, using her boob, only having her settle him etc. so, although everyones advice is sound advice, isnt it just telling her to keep doing what she is already doing? which isnt working? just my take on it. dont take it any other way, than just me pointing out my perspective. its not a criticism, or a slight etc, just an observation.

i have wrote and re wrote the last 3 posts about 4 times each, so as to not sound offensive judgemental rude etc

i have thee most rhinocerus skin and hardly ever get offended and perhaps assume others are the same. so forgive me if i sound like im walking in hob nail boots.........i never am!

i dont have the chance to let dp settle eva. if she cries for longer than a minute, he just shoves her at me and says 'here, i dont know what's wrong with her' ive just accepted that he's not a newborn baby person, he likes them better when he can play with them. he thinks babies are for women. suits me, i just say, well you'll have to deal\dress/feed the twins then.