dec 2008- Who will stonk it in & be crown queen of the thread?

[HRHvagolaJahooli]

He we are ladies though I may need to change my name as royal title may be stripped.

Beans you are some kind of epic running star, maybe it was the very tiny weight loss as your toenails detached that enabled you to feel somehow lighter on your feet for the final sprint?!

Invis Poor j, hope the finger is ok, sending big healing hugs to all of you. Not up on the nanny etiquette, but it doesn't sound good.

S off to bed with big girl duvet tonight rather than grobag as she's finally reached the end of her 18-36 months one - blimey, a full size single duvet really is massive compared to a cot bed!

Phew, home, DCs in bed, too shattered for . Everyone OK all considered. DS really was a trouper through the whole thing - he was kidding round, chatting to people, asking questions and being his usual charming self, while missing a fair chunk of finger. He was even looking curiously while they were putting his cannula in. I'm now waiting from the call from social services as this is the second finger he has mashed up in as many months - we were in before with finger squashed in door, although that time at least he kept the finger.

I shouldn't be too too unfair on the nanny. I don't think I've said much about her on here before, basically she has been looking after the DCs since I went back to work with DD which is almost 4 years ago. The DCs are very fond of her and she of them. She is quite sociable though which is mostly great for the DCs, but sometimes it can be a bit of a nanny knitting circle. Seems what happened on Friday was 4 nannies having a catch up and somehow no one kept an eye out. The re-think is more to do with circumstances than anything - DC starting full time school in Sept and DS starting half day nursery, along with DH finishing up a long term project. We've been seriously thinking about whether he should just take on the DCs full time. This kind of thing makes it seem quite a good idea.

Sorry, its all been a bit me me me. Have been reading even though failing to post. Am seriously impressed with the running expoits (fantastic effort beans) and following the potty training with interest!

Invis, am just glad you (and he) are back home. With the best will in the world, whoever is looking after kids, accidents can of course happen. You are much more charitable than me BUT when it comes to childcare I guess the very last thing you want to do is rock the boat with a normally good nanny at this stage in the proceedings. Apart from all that - hope you are good!

Beans, you have done so well. Am not just saying that, I think you have done amazingly. I have massive envy about the Hurlingham Though I will tell you my cricket team are playing the Royal Household team at Windsor Castle next Sat! (It's the staff there, not the royals!) The security arrangements are quite something.

Kayz, are you feeling better?

I took the DDs to the old flat today to try and start sorting it out. DD1 was so thrilled to be back. More than this, she told me she didn't want the new house, she loved the old place and not living there made her sad It is as I have suspected. I explained the new house is bigger and we needed the space but she shook her head and said she liked the flat best. It's a real shame. I think I prefer the random tantrums to the reasoned, sorrowful and articulate explanations I feel a bit guilty but we couldn't stay in DP's place forever. But I guess it's all she's ever known.

Hey lovely ladies, back from hols and marking my place. Have read and will post more tomorrow ... unless I decide to put DD in pants. She's been excellent about asking to go to the loo for wees this week, but determined not to for poos, so will see how positive I feel in the morning. Wish me luck, or talk me out of it

Back with personals tomorrow, love to all x

Oh, and forgot to say - DD2 had a revolting snack earlier....(skip this if you are eating)

There were always tons of massive spiders at the flat (country life) - REALLY big ones. I put DD2 in the travel cot as I started to tidy up and noticed she appeared to be chewing on something...I opened her mouth and it was brown and I thought I saw legs...so I cleared out her mouth with my fingers (took about four goes, she was clearly enjoying it)

and.it.was.a.big.dead.crunchy.spider.

I have major issues with spiders and I was audibly wretching as removed it. But I suppose it proves that even with phobias like that, adrenalin somehow kicks in (I was scared she'd choke on the thing).

Welcome back ZJ, hope you had a good hol. Right, will take myself off to do Take a Break prize puzzles bed

Oh invis how awful for you, and poor DS. I'm so glad he is home safe but waht a frightening experience - did he sleep okay?

lady Urghh,grim. Totally grim.

beans Excellent run, and AMAZING time. Well done, how are the legs today? Oh and toenails also a bit grim, are they not sore?

ZJ Hope you had a good holiday.

Well yesterday was Day 2 of DS TT. We went to the beach, I thought sod it I can't stay in all day and he's going to have to ask for the loo while out and about. He was brill, 3 times he came and put himself on the potty. The rest of the time I had to make him though....is that usual really can't recall, as DD TT herself. He did have an accident on the way home but he had fallen asleep in the car so I'll let him off

Off to church this morning should be intereting as he goes to a mini Sunday school for littlies...I'll have to see if they will ask him to go on the potty!

Blame its quiet on here today!

I've overdone the gardening and have a bad back. I blame Jam & Effie & lady for talking about gardens/allotments. It was such a mess...looking better now which is satisfying.

DS doing well still just one accident today but we still haven't managed a poo for a couple of days.

Lady, that is so awful it's funny. Spiders prob v nutritious. On the hw front, I tend to flap about a lot, so the place is either fairly tidy or buried beneath piles of stuff.

Invis: poor little man, I would have been furious.

Well done on the run Beans!

Have a nice bath to put it right, DB! Also, the gardening I did didn't require any actual bending as the nettles were so high. You are so lucky having a beach near you. I have never lived near the sea.

Went to the flat again today to do a bit more tidying but DD2 eschewed the spiders this time....DP got back at lunchtime but is off again tonight at an Iron Maiden gig He has got an access all-areas pass and tickets for the after show party. As a lifelong fan, he is WETTING himself.

Right, going to shoot as have a lot to do, even at this hour! SL, your DD is the next second wave baby to hit one - early August, right?

LadyT - that spider story is truly funny/awful! Sorry DD1 is unimpressed with the new flat - I know what you mean though about them being able to tell you what's bothering them. Fine if you can sort it, but not so great otherwise.

Re the nanny, I am feeling anything but charitable! DH and I are trying to work out what kind of constructive discussion with her. That aside all fine here - DS snuck into our bed at about 1.30 am last night (didn't have the heart to kick him out). Otherwise very jolly and way too inquisitive. He found my epilator this morning managed to plug it in and started "shaving" his legs....

Otherwise all pretty well here. Just bought DD some of the "my naughty little sister" stories, which I remember loving when we were young (and my little sister especially loved) - its been a good giggle for both of us revisiting them.

We've been having a lot of Abba Gold in the car lately (Mr J very keen on "Mammamina"). Which is sort of fine. Except that DD keeps asking me to explain what each song is about. Not sure how many variations I can manage on "Lady sad because she misses her boyfriend" I can manage!

been lurking on phone. apols - but spiders - yeeeuch!

please may i moan into the ether? dd2 is waking every TWO HOURS, feeding a bit and going back to sleep. i am so so furious. she is a delightful baby - really easy, generally. but this night waking is driving me insane. so insane i now can't sleep for my allotted 2 hours.

i'm feeding her every time, which i am sure is the problem, but i feel the pressure to get her back to sleep quickly for my sake, dh's sake, and dd1's sake, and this is the only way i know. she is 5 months, 1 week - will probably start food next weekend. i am sure it is all about habit/transition to weaning/not able to self-settle. we did cc with dd1 at 9 months (as you will remember she was a nightmare sleeper - ended up waking every hour and would only settle being boobed or being held - and on one memorable occasion, the night before i started a new job, dh held her for 4 hours so she would give me some rest) and it worked really quickly and really well. i just can't really imagine doing cc for a 5 month old. how do i know if she really hungry or just used to it? as a friend said, it's the equivalent of waking up, being offered pizza, eating it, and then getting used to eating pizza 4/5 times a night.

and the problem is managing my expectations. this was fine a few months ago, but i have friends whose babies are roughly the same age, who regard the night as a failure if they wake up twice. i'm waking up 4/5 times a night.

i think i will attempt a post on the wider sleep threads. eeeek. wish me luck.

link

could i also ask those with 2 - can you tell me what your bedtime routines for them are? does it change if you are putting the kids to bed on your own?

with dd1 we had a really solid bedtime routine - we rarely deviated from it, and rarely do now. but i just don't know how to work dd2 into it - sometimes i put her to bed before dd1, sometimes after. if i put her to bed before and i'm on my own, then dd1 is left on her own for ages and ages if dd2 isn't settling. there are never any books involved, no singing, she is either screaming with tiredness/wanting the boob, so that it seems silly to prolong the agony with books/songs. at this age dd1 had books, songs and everything.

here is what we currently do with dd1:

any time from 6.30-6.45pm - bath
come downstairs
7.15ish - have bottle of milk downstairs - a bit more play/tv
7.45pm - upstairs, teeth, bed, 3 stories with one parent, 3 songs with the other parent, lights out.

bless her, she goes to sleep like a dream most nights and sleeps throughish until 6-7am (occasional duvet falling off/nightmares etc)

at the moment, if dh is back (most nights - am v lucky), he does bath with both children, and then i take dd2 at 7ish into the bedroom while dd2 goes downstairs with him, i bf dd2 in a darkened room and let her fall asleep like that and put her down. she tends to wake up again once or twice before properly settling, and i rock her those times, but once she is awake after 10pm i start feeding. and then i just feed her almost every time she wakes up. it feels like i'm being used as a human dummy. should i be mean to her?

we're going on hols in a couple of weeks where we are hiring a house with a big group of friends, all with kids. only this time all 4 of us will be SHARING A ROOM. the thought of it makes me ill - i'm just going to shove the boob in to keep her quiet every time she wakes. i've got 2 weeks before we go - do you reckon i can sort this before then?

sorry i've now rambled on and on about myself. that's what happens when you're up in the middle of the night and haven't had more than 1 3/4 hours sleep in a row for WEEKS.

Wg lovey all I can say at this stage (e awake 4 times between 8 and 5 then awake for the day) is you have my utmost sympathy and we can discuss plans further on thurs. Solids have made no diff to E I'm afraid, would take her to hv but her advixe was such bollocks frankly that there's no point. S finally got the hang of it when she was about 9 months but still needed boob before sleep time til I stopped while pg with e. Feeding them every time they wake up is a way to cope for now, and maybe we will have to be mean later, but for now i feel it's the best way ro avoid big screamy meltdowns all night. Sending you big big hugs darling.

Hello from a rather cold and damp rest Wales, nobody mention the London heat wave please

WG - you poor soul going through the extreme rep deprivation again. I have two thoughts. First, I did get Mrs Sleep in at five and a half.months so we did cc at that age. I felt I had to for my health and sanity. I know others who did it younger so I would not let age put you off if cc is something you want to do again. I actually suspect it works more quickly the younger they are as the behaviour patterns are less entrenched (clearly I am not talking newbirns here). Second I'm afraid I wouldn't do anything before your hold. After sleep training you need consistency and you won't be able to provide that while away and thus could undo any good work making all the pain futile.

Invis - so sorry to hear about the finger. Has the reattached tip taken? It sounds like the nannny may have list your trust in which case it may be time to say goidbye. How did she react to SD having had the accident while she was chatting? On happt subjects, I have loved reading My Naughty Little Sister to dd1, it brought back lively memories if my nun reading to me and telling.me about her own little sister. And on music we have been listening to Simon and Garfunkel with the girls and DD keeps singing lyrics fron Cecilia including "making love in the afternoon" which always prompts her to ask "how can you make a love mummy?".

Lady - yuk to the spider, yuk yuk yuk. I'm so glad you sre enjiying the new houde even if DD1 is not yet. Re housework I Hoover and mop for one hour in a Sun when i also change our bed clithes. Each night I make sure I thoroughly clean the kitchen, including the hob, before bed. SH cleans the bathrooms each week and we try and do 20 mins of gardebing together each.night. We are helped that the nanny cleans the DDs room, changes their beds and washes their clothes. She also tidies their toys away at the end if each day.

Hello all,

wg I guess you have two options, 1) try and do something about sleep situation, CC, or whatever 2) try and make current situation as easy(!) as possible, by getting good at co-sleeping/trying not to wake up too much.

My DD was similar at this age, and I think it did get better at about 6 months, gradually, though she didn't sleep through until about 9-10 months, and I had another bad phase just before she slept through.

i acutally did do sleep training just before going on holiday and it did work fine (this was 9 months though), I think I was lucky though. I was all prepared for it to be controlled crying but in the end I slept in her room and sung to her/didn't get her out of her cot, and there was relatively little crying. V lucky. She really needed to learn to self settle, we did have problems with her not doing it when we got back from hols as she had been in a little sleeping tent on hols and she had really liked it and was not impressed with cot, so I had an evening of proper "controlled crying" and she got better again. BUT I think the problem as 5.5 months is it will be hard to be strong as you will be worried that she actually needs food in the night, and it will be hard to knwo when to feed her and when to try and settle. Could you work on trying to settle her just in evenings awake, so feed her then settle her awake? Then if she wakes in the night just go with the easy option and feed her. With my DD once she had got the hang of settling herself to sleep the problems in the night solved themselves.

Otherwise, go for the I'm just going to get through this option and try cosleeping or consciously trying to make sure you are not fully awake when getting up for a feed. One thing I did that really helped when feeds wee often but didn't take that long was resist the urge to fire up my phone while doing a feed, and just let myself be sleepy through it, then it was much easier to drop back off to sleep (I think you have insomnia problems like me)

Re bedtime routines, we have similar issues. Part of sleep problems caused by me not wanting to leave DS downstairs so would keep DD downstairs for last feed and wait til she fell asleep then put her in cot, hence the no self settling. I now do feed her downstairs, but take her upstairs awake, give her a little cuddle in her bedroom til she looks tired and put her in bed and she goes off to sleep on her own. There was a while where I would have to put Thomas on and leave DS on his own for a while. We still don't give DD a story, may start that soon, but may have to be downstairs if just me home.
To be honest I would go with whatever you think it good for your DD2 so if that means leaving DD1 on her own for a bit then do it. I definitely wouldn't consider putting DD2 to bed later than DD1, we did this and DD got hideously overtired, was not a success!

Right got to post now as DS wants to play the "cake game", back later.

Lady, yuk to the spider but that is very funny. I love that my DD is such a piglet too, but she would probably also partake of spiders. Sorry about DD and the house, one of my earliest memories is moving house just before I was 3. I remember being excited but apparently I was less than impressed in reality, particularly that none of my friends were around for my birthday party.

Have you met any nice people in the new village by the way?
Oh and yes my DD is next her birthday is 11th August. Can't believe it! When is your DD2's, is it end of Sept?

invis sorry to hear about DS's finger, sounds like he is being a trouper though. Hope you can resolve things with the nanny, did she fess up that she was gossiping and not paying attention, and how did it happen? Did he grab the chain while she was riding?

asp snigger at "how can you make a love"!

DS is being a nightmare again at the moment, really violent to his sister and to us, constantly hitting her, throwing things at her, pinching, biting us. Am a bit at the end of tether over what to do though sure it is a phase, we try time out but he just comes back and does it again, he does say sorry and "I want to be good", but it's like he can't help himself. He has also started waking up in the night, so wonder if he might be tired, but no idea what is waking him up. Sometimes it is his duvet that's fallen off (he has been out of grobag for about 2 weeks and it wasn't an issue for the first week or so), so maybe I shoudl try putting him back in grobag? anyone any ideas? DH going away on Tuesday to look after his mum who is having cataract operation, and I am actually seriously worried that I will lose it with him having to do everythign by myself. He is so so so infuriating at the moment, and the lack of sleep from him waking up really doesn't help.

Oh beans how fab about your 10K and what a brill time. Am sure it was 10k, it must have been properly measured surely? Was it flatter than the 5k perhaps? If so, one to remember for getting personal bests in the future!

I went for my first run in ages last night and it was nice, I felt relatively fit still, probably cos I went out for lots of bike rides last week too, twice with my biking friends which is unheard of, they nearly ripped my legs off though, I am v slow.

oh and jj i don't know what the shred is exactly either, I will find out when I get it, but I think it is circuit training type exercise DVD so lots of jumps, lifting weights etc, and is meant to be hard word. I dont' think cheese graters are involved (hope not).

By gosh I am sorry. I am posting from dh's HTC and the predictive text is mad plus it posted mid way through my typing. Will leave you alone until I can type in a comprehensible way again. My news can be summed up as "I miss London".

By gosh I am sorry. I am posting from dh's HTC and the predictive text is mad plus it posted mid way through my typing. Will leave you alone until I can type in a comprehensible way again. My news can be summed up as "I miss London".

Oh WG the sleep situation sounds beyond cruel at the moment for you. I did instigate a form of CC withn DS when he was almost one, I couldn't handle nights of 2-3 hours sleep. I remember the nights of endless feeding, shusshing and patting just so he didn't wake everyone else in the house. You can't function as a human being sleeping like that. Yes, she is younger than DD1 was when you did CC but I would say go for it. I really wish I had with DS. Also IME weaning never made the blindest bit of difference to DS sleep.

Good luck with whatever you decide. Am thinking of you

Such good advice-thank you all. Feeling better immediately for a bit of clear headed advice from you lovelies. On bus. Will write more later.

invis How is DS' finger? Has it taken?

got cut off mid flow before. British Gas have just been round and I am getting Cavity Wall insulation & loft insulation for free! I thought it was a gimmick and that it would still cost but not so. Not sure it will make the slightest difference to my heating bills but I love a freebie

Also forgot to say my parents are taking the DC's camping for a couple of days tomorrow. It will be the first time DH & I have been child free for more than 24 hours in almost 5 years! Sadly we are both working however we are going to go out tomorrow evening for supper and maybe the movies...how exciting date night on a school (holiday) night!

WG Glad things seem a bit clearer. I was also going to add that CC usaually only takes a few nights to break their sleeping patterns. If you do adopt that route, you could see a dramatic difference in sleeping patterns by the time you go away.

Back again, with those personals I promised. We had a lovely holiday, sadly DH had to go back to work after 4 days, but DD loved having my parents and sis there, always someone to give her some undivided attention! She is such a beach baby, can't get enough of the sand and sea, and looks like a proper cool surfer chick now, with her sun bleached hair and beautiful brown limbs . Asp I thought of you, as we were in Pembrokeshire, is that where you are now? I hope the weather picks up for you

Happy holidays also to Rubes, Pd and Nolda (if any of you are lurking while you're away, to read this) and I hope your holiday works out fine Jump (but it does sound stressful sorting out a not ideal childcare offering)

I'm sorry to hear that sleep is still pants WG, loads of good advice from the ladies of course. The bit that jumped out at me was when you said you felt like a human dummy - have you tried a dummy? If she likes sucking, then that might help her settle herself. On bedtime routine, could you get away with 2 stories and 2 songs for R, to give you 5 more minutes for G? Or could G snuggle up for the stories too, so she's not crying from another room?

Poor DS Invis, that sounds v painful for him. How is it doing now? I would be absolutely fuming with the nanny, I do hope she was mortified and upset in equal measure. x to J

V impressed at little Beans walking and talking all at once. And even more impressed at all your running, massive congratulations. Before I went I meant to comment on the fact that you'd said you were finding being a mum hard at the moment - I found the bit when DD had just turned 1 really difficult and I was sure it was a communication issue, she would try so hard to get a message across and then scream with rage that I was so stupid and look at me so accusingly. So I would also scream with rage and neither of us were nice to be around. And sleep was crap too. Does that sound like you? No advice for you, just wanted to (hopefully) reassure you that it will pass

Spot We are like the Summer household, DD massively prefers DH. I just tell her tough, Mummy is playing with her. I'm not a patient and kind Mummy and can't be arsed with her fannying around, DH panders to her, which is probably why he's the number 1. Sorry about Mr Spot's job, what a worry, maybe losing the house was a blessing in disguise?

LadyT it's lovely to read how happy you are with the new gaff, although sad that O doesn't feel the same. It must be odd for her to go back to DPs flat, as I guess it's empty now, which always makes places feel sad and lonely I think. Bleurgh at the spider

Housework, hmmm, I don't get half as much done as I'd like. Dh is a real messpot and never puts anything away, so most if the time I feel like I'm just tidying up and never get round to cleaning. Downstairs gets hoovered once a week (supposedly DH's job) and I'll sweep the kitchen and hall every couple of days. The mop probably only comes out once a fortnight, although I spend a lot of time moaning how mucky the kitchen floor is. And I dust about once a week. The kitchen should get wiped round every evening, but it depends who's turn it is to wash up. The bathroom is probably our cleanest room, as I clean the loo, basin and shower while DD is in the bath (how's that for multi tasking!) and then wipe the bath when she gets out. The bedrooms are awful - DD is a right pain when I'm trying to do housework, so most gets done when she's napping, which means I can't hoover upstairs or she wakes up, so they are fluffy and dusty and horrid. Lots of people on the wider MN swear by flylady - I googled her recently and she suggests adding a new thing to your routine each day until you are superwoman. Sounds great, if I could be bothered to try it! BTW my sink is now clean and not gunky and beautiful - thanks Rubes!

Deids 24 for DDs party . Are you mental? I second Beans' recommendation of Nigella Express, I love her bean mash, and will add Nigel Slater's Real Fast Food and Real Fast Puddings, for similar super quick suppers

I forget who's chocolate melted all funny, mine does that quite a bit. I think I've tracked the culprit down to a Pyrex bowl, so try to remember to use a different one. I went on a choccy making workshop once and she taught us to start it in the microwave/over water very briefly and then use a hairdryer on hot, stirring slowly. When I can be bothered to get my hairdryer it works every time

Summer DD loses her duvet too, we just have to help her cause she's too little to get it herself. She normally goes straight back off once she's sorted though. In winter I put her in extra layers, socks etc, so she wouldn't get cold, but that's not an issue at the moment!

We've not heard from Urbs in a while, hope you're ok?

DD has been in big girl pants yesterday and today. Only 2 accidents yesterday, which were both outside, so a good day I think. She didn't do a poo all day, despite clearly brewing one, so I was lazy this morning and didn't take her nappy off straight away. How do you persuade them it's good to poo on the loo/potty? I've offered 2 sweeties as a reward, which she talks about and was trying to up the stakes earlier 'when I do poo on the loo Mummy I not get 2 sweeties, I get 3 sweeties? And maybe 4? And baby needs a sweetie too'.

Gosh this is epic, even for me! I have been working on it for 36 hours though. Definitely time to post, as I got carried away hours ago

Thanks for the holiday wishes but we knocked it on the head after it got really busy, and did a few day trips here and there instead, so have been home as couldn't get accom anywhere else at late notice! Did dd's birthday on the Mon anyway, but she still enjoyed her lunch at Carluccios terminal 5 on her actual birthday DS She loves her new swings too! postponing the trip until either a couple of weeks or Sept. Dh's new bike awaits still!
On housework, I seem to do it constantly, altho Roomba has lightened the load. I'm a bit OCD on it though, and we also have the dog.
Bedtime - both eat around 6 bath just after dinner together then downstairs for milk and maybe one Peppa Pig / itng then teeth and bed around 7-730.

Duvets - ds has one of those Gro Bag first zip in duvet things. Quite effective but only after they go to sleep IN it. If he climbed out to protest then got back in himself, we usually just zip it up again when we check him later. Will get one for dd as they work for us.