March 2005 part 4 - The nights are getting quieter.....

[BonyM]

Not that I want to tempt fate...

popsycal - what I did was start timing nighttime feeds. To begin with she was going to sleep (putting herself to sleep) at around 7-7.20pm, then waking often at 11pm, 1am, 3am, 5am. I started giving her a 5 minute breastfeed, and then putting her down in her cot, and 9 times out of 10 even if she was awake she would put herself to sleep after a bit of muttering. A couple of times at 11pm I left her to cry for 10 minutes after the feed.

Anyway, then I started cutting back all the feeds by a minute a night, and I found that she still put herself to sleep afterwards, even when the feeds were down to one minute. Unbelievable really. But I think she just wanted the comfort of a bit of breastfeeding. And once she was getting very short feeds she just started to sleep longer of her own accord. And after about 6 weeks, she was pretty reliably going 7pm to 4am without feeding.

Once she'd gone a few nights without a feed at say 11pm or 1am, if she DID then wake again at that time I didn't feed her. If necessary I went in and rubbed her back for a while, and usually that was enough to make her go back to sleep. A couple of times she cried - but never more than 10-20 minutes.

Hope that helps .....

Iris is now going from 7pm to 5.30am, and this morning it was 6.30am. And until 8 months she was pretty hopeless. I hope you can get there soon too.

Yesterday at the childminder wasn't so good - afte the first perfect day. Iris was shattered having only slept 20 minutes in the morning, but the still struggled to get her to sleep and then she only slept 10 minutes. And when dp arrived to get the girls Iris was sobbing . When they got home I felt really torn in two as dd1 was excitedly trying to show me something she'd made, whilst Iris started sobbing as soon as she saw me. I just wanted to hold Iris, but felt I had to give dd1 a few minutes of my time first. Boo hoo.

Anyway, dp has just taken them in again today. Fingers crossed for a good day.

I'm off to the shops to try to acquire some work clothes!

Popsycal, have you seen the post from Nannyme on Aloha's thread (anyone hired a sleep expert). She is trying to set up a parenting advice thing and is offering her services free of charge to help with sleep issues.

Not sure if you would be interested but didn't want you to miss out if you were.

Anyone who has settled a baby into childcare (Pidge, Leo, not sure who else) Can you tell me how you approached the phasing. Signed up with Harrison's childminder last night ready for Feb 20th but I'm not sure how to do the phasing. She suggested four visits over three weeks - two with me there and two without. Does that sound about right. Do I need to make sure she has done certain things before I leave him for the day like feed him, put him to sleep etc.

I left DD with my mum when I first went back to work last time so haven't done this before.

Busywizzy, 4 visits over 2 weeks doesn't sound like a lot. Niklas was a bit younger when he started so it was probably easier, but I took him more than that. If he is going 3 days a week I suggest that you go for 3 days for 2 weeks the first week stay with him the first day, second day stay with him for some of the time then leave him on his own for about an hour. 3rd day leave him on his own. Second week stay with him for a while on the first day then leave, then one day get them to put him to sleep another day get them to give him lunch. But see how he settles he may be OK with less but better to do too much than too little.

I am still upset about Niklas's nursery I feel like my trust in them has gone and I am wondering all the time if he is left to cry a lot, what he is doing, is he ok etc.... We looked on the internet and (not surprisingly) couldn't find anything about any laws for the number of carers per child. But we did find a website swiss association of nurseries which gave rules for their members, but I dont think our nursery is a member. At least it has given us confirmation that what we expect is realistic.

Pidge, I hope Iris settles OK, I think it takes a bit of time for the babies to settle into their normal sleep routine when you are not around.

Jambot, it sounds as if Lauren has been suffering with her teeth. I totally recommend giving her calpol or something. I wasn't keen to start with but gave it to Niklas when he was teething and he was transformed back to his very happy self again. I hope she gets better fast.

Niklas walked 4 steps on his own last night and slept from 7pm to 5am, fussed around in bed with us for a while but slept on and off until 7 !

Popsycal - what does Harry do when he wakes up at night, is he wide awake and wanting to play or is he miserable and crying?

Leo, thanks for the advice about phasing. I will speak to my childminder about doing a bit more. I thought it wasn't much but thought maybe I was being an over protective mother.

So sorry you're feeling bad about your own childcare arrangements. Go with your instincts and if it doesn't feel right, say something or do something as if you don't, it will just constantly play on your mind. Good luck.

Oh and well done Niklas on walking What a star. Harrison still isn't even crawling !!

thanks busy, we are defintely going to talk to the the person that runs it, she seems to be away at the moment which is maybe the problem. but I also think there are lots of new children, I am wondering if they have more than they can cope with! it only opened in August so I will give them the benefit and hope they are still just working things out.

Sorry girls...I really want to respond to everyone as iI feel I come on this thread and moan and never chat! But I am runnign round like a mad woman but hope to post properly this weekend.

When he wakes he cries and cires.....

PIdge - from tonight I am going to try your system.
I have now treid everything bare hard core controleled crying which I dont feel I can cope with and I want a system which I can see out.

HE is waking usually three times now on a good night - around 10pm, around 1am and around 4am but takes AGES to get nack to sleep on the last wking....sometimes not until just before ds2 wakes at abotu 5:30
however, I have been back at work since wednesday and have brought him into bed with me from the 1am feed as I just needed to sleep to be on the ball.
Anyway - no work for three days so going to give it a go!

hope you are all ok and your babies are even more gorgeous!

Good luck Popsycal - will be keeping my fingers crossed for you.

ihyes i knew i had some news...
i requested to reduce my hours to two days a week and drop my repsponsibility role today....
boss being arsey but we shall see

Good for you popsycal with the work. And good luck with the sleep. I didn't ever do 'hard core' controlled crying to get her to drop the night feeds. We did leave her for 10-20 minutes of grizzing quite a few times, but mostly she just stopped waking once I'd reduced the milk. Mind you she is UP WITH THE LARK at 5.30am still! But I guess that's not uncommon.

We're having a bit of a grim time to be honest, as Iris is finding it VERY hard settling in to the childminders. It's a mum and daughter who work together and they are absolutely gorgeous and I couldn't wish for better. Dd1 loves it there, and in fact recently has been asking to stay the night!! So no doubts on that front - but it's just tough for Iris being away from me and dp. She's been pretty unhappy with the last two half days she's done. And on Tuesday I'm back in work and she has to do a full day . Am hoping to work a couple of half days after that to give her a bit more adjustment time, but I think it is just going to be hard. The worst thing is that she just breaks down sobbing the minute she sets eyes on me. Heart breaking.

Busywizzy - get as much settling in time as you can basically. We have just done 3 days this week, a couple of hours on the first day, three hours the next and then just over half a day and I wish I'd done more.

Still - it will get better. It was awful when I went back to work when dd1 was 6 months, so I always knew this was going to be tough.

pidge - harry has never really settled whereas ds1 did immediately...part of the reason i want to reduce my hours as my mum has offered to have him for two days a week and he is fine with her

Pidge, really sorry Iris is having a hard time settling. I hope it gets better when you go back to work next week.

I'm dreading this more and more Not going back to work, but leaving Harrison with someone he doesn't yet know.

Pidge - so sorry Iris is having a hard time adjusting to the childminder. It will get better though as she gets to know everyone. At least she is with people you trust so you know she is being well looked after.

Popsy - good luck on the work front - hope your boss agrees to your request. It must be so tough that Harry is still not sleeping well - I don't know how you keep going. We have had a few bad nights since Grace went into her cot and I feel completely wrecked. I really don't know how you cope when it's night after night for months on end.

Leo - hope you manage to sort things out satisfactorily with the nursery - such a worry for you.

Hmmphh - well Grace hasn't slept all morning and we are supposed to be meeting dh for lunch. Can't see it being much fun if she's overtired. Not even an hour's walk around the village in the pram managed to send her off. I've put her back in her cot now but she is moaning and grumbling like mad so I might have to go and get her up again.
Damn!

Please don't read this if you're having sleeping problems with your little ones.

For three nights in a row now, Harrison has gone to bed between 6.30 -6.45pm and gone to sleep no bother at all. He's then slept until after 7am so hopefully our 5.30 wakings are behind us. He does still wake up at around that time as I sometimes hear him chatting to himself but then he takes himself back off to sleep - 7.10 the first morning, then 7.20 and this morning, 7.15. Horray, hooray, hooray

He's also sleeping really well in the day with two naps, both between an hour and a quarter to an hour and a half.

I knew we'd get there eventually. Just didn't think it would take over 9 months.

Well done Harrison .

I am .

It does show thought that they all get there eventually. It's just a matter of time...

clinic today for first time since summer....
23lb 6oz

Popsycal, I haven't been to clinic since Harrison was 20 weeks. I have his 9 month check at the end of January (when he'll be 10.5 months) and I just know I'm going to get a telling off.

i hadnt been since he was 20 weeks....and had his 7-9 month check today - at 10 months

Wow popsy! What a bouncy babe!!

Busywizzy - actually that gives me real hope. Iris was up at 5.30am again today and I would love to think that one day she might sleep till ... well ... even 6am would be a start! Any tips?

I know it'll work out with the childcare - our childminders are brilliant, so I know I couldn't wish for a more caring loving environment. Think it's going to be tough for a few weeks though.

Spent today at the National History Museum with a friend and her kids. What a great place. Dd1 was thrilled and a bit scared by the dinosaurs - didn't help matters by running off in there and getting totally lost, and having a total melt down. One sobbing hysterical child by the time I tracked her down! We also loved the 'earthquake' zone where you stand on a platform and it simulates an earthquake. Iris was a bit grumpy, and refused to go to sleep in the buggy (plus ca change!), but loved crawling round the cafe getting under the feet of all the people trying to buy lunch.

serena has chicken pox

she is now standing up, and tried to stand on her own today, fell to earth with a padded bump on her bottom. she is doing wlel, tho still just a little thing, think she may have reached 19lbs now, not too sure. she is greeting people now with loads of screeching and fast crawling towards them, am hoping she does the same when her daddy finally comes home. she is so used to it being just me here, that i am worried its going to unsettle her when he does come back. he has been in hospital since she was 3months old, he'll probably still be there when she turns 1yr at the end of feb.

misdee - poor serena - is she spot-ridden? Have your other girls had it already? I was wondering how things are with your dp, I'm hopeless at following other threads on mn these days. I would guess when he comes home serena will just be thrilled to have another person around. Provided you're still there that will give her the continuity she needs. Plus her sisters will still be around of course.

I think Iris reads mumsnet as this morning she slept till 6am as I suggested .... so ... tomorrow how about 6.30am .

Poor Serena - how did she get that? She sounds like a sociable baby so I'm sure she'll be thrilled to have her Daddy around.
Took Lauren for her 10 month clinic visit. She weighs 10.9kgs and is 78cms. Still on the 95 percentile for both, although her weight gain was less than it normally is. Noticed that she seems to be loosing her slightly chubby look, although her legs are still nice and chunky. Think it's all this extra activity she's doing. Saw a little baby there who was 5 weeks but was only 2.2kgs at birth. Such a tiny thing! Lauren weighed 2 whole kgs more than her at birth. I was nervous with my big thug of a daugher, let alone such a tiny baby.
Lauren is happily eating egg now. Had scrambled eggs on toast for her tea tonight, which she ate herself, with much enjoyment. Food-wise her favourite time of the day is after her morning snooze when I sit her down outside with just her nappy on and give her a peeled nectarine. She takes about twenty minutes to devour the entire thing and she loves it. Makes a huge juicy mess but it's worth it for the look on her face. So much easier to have a mess in summer when they're not wearing much.
Oh by the way, she has gone now gone from two to eight teeth in the space of a week! No wonder she has been grumpy lately. She's now got four both top and bottom. Her latest thing is teeth grinding, which is horrible to listen to.
Well done Harrison on the sleep front.
Pidge, what time does Iris go to bed?

jambot - I have such a great picture of Lauren with her peach! Iris has a similar trick with a banana after supper - she mashes it till it oozes between her fingers, then licks and sucks it furiously, and it ends up everywhere. She virtually needs hosing down afterwards. Still it keeps her happy whilst we feed dd1 and begin thinking about our own supper.

Iris goes to bed about 7-7.15. So I know 5.30 am could be a lot worse. 6 o'clock is fine - amazing what a difference that half an hour makes.

Saturday evening is well and truly here - the kids are in bed. I've left dp in the kitchen preparing bream with lemony rice - yum. Whilst my contribution to supper are choco hotpots! Better go and pour a glass of wine ....

Serena caught the pox from her big sister. she now has a secondry bacterial infection, and is now crawling around nappiless as she is raw.

Misdee, so sorry Serena is poorly - like you don't have enough to cope with at the moment Hope she gets better soon.

Jambot, glad to hear Lauren is feeling better now she has her teeth. Poor little thing to have so many come through in such a short time but at least she's got it over in one hit.

Pidge, since a few weeks before Xmas now, I've just been settling Harrison at 5.30 by giving him his blankie and then leaving the room straight away. I started doing this when he began playing up at that time and wanting to get up. The first morning, he cried for just over 10 minutes and I went back to him twice (CC I suppose so I hope nobody blasts me) but from then on, he settled with no fuss at all. And hey preto, he's now started going back to sleep without any intervention from me and sometimes, doesn't even wake up Long may it continue as I feel bionic.

Have suddenly realised today that DD's birthday is in three weeks time and I've done nothing about it at all. She wants a popstars party which means an entertainer (of sorts) and a hall. Aaarrggghh, better get cracking - what a bad mummy for forgetting