March 2005 part 4 - The nights are getting quieter.....

[BonyM]

Not that I want to tempt fate...

Pidge, just remembered one other thing. I don't know what the temperature is like in Iris' room but despite the thermometer in Harrison's room reading 21 degress, I always thought it was really cold (and I sleep in there with him so I should know).

Anyway, I don't know if it is a coincidence or not but I turned the heating up a bit in his room so the monitor now reads about 24 degrees and ever since that night, he's slept through. He is also in a sleeping bag and has two blankets.

Just a thought.

Pidge, is she really tired by the time she goes down? Just asking as although her bedtime doesn't sound particularly late, Lauren is always in bed by 6:30 (often even earlier) and she sleeps till at least 6:30am most mornings. Know it doesn't seem to make sense to put them to bed earlier to get them to sleep later, but apparently it does. Probably a scary thing to try as you'll be worried she'll wake even earlier, but I would give it a go if you think she'll go down then. Also think the temperature idea is also worthwhile having a look at.

jambot - actually that makes total sense to me too - I think often the more they sleep the more they sleep. Iris is pretty tired by 7pm - but not wiped out. Sometimes she goes to sleep during the breastfeed, but more often she's awake and I always rouse her so I put her in the cot awake. Can't see us getting her down much earlier than 7pm though, since that fits with dd1's routine. And once I'm at work I may not be home till 6.30pm.

I don't know - I'm sort of coming to the conclusion that Iris just doesn't need a huge amount of sleep. She's so unlike dd1 who used to sleep 7pm-7am, plus 3 hours during the day and who we always used to have to wake from afternoon naps. Iris on top of her 10 hours at night, only sleeps for an hour during the day in two half hour naps. It's incredible.

Anyway, just recently she has sometimes gone through till 6am ish which is more manageable. Though this morning it was 4.45am, she was in her cot complaining for an hour, then quiet for 10 minutes, then a bit more complaining (we're not talking full blown yelling here, but definitely awake and protesting), then she slept for half an hour till 6.40, at which point I fed her and she went back to sleep on the breast till 7.15am. Since it's Sunday dp and I have both already been back to bed for a nap and it's only 9.30am!

Hi Everyone.
Hope you have all had a great weekend.
Sorry to hear Serena has chicken pox. Does this mean that she cannot visit your DH until she is ok? Hopefully she will start to get better soon.
Jambot - I am so that you are in the middle of summer at the moment. It is just so dreary here. It must be so lovely for Lauren to be able to just wear her nappy in the garden. Freya looks like she's on a expedition to the North Pole every time she goes on the school run. I met up with one of the other mums from school the other day for the first time and we both said 'So that's what your baby looks like'. Up till now we had never seem anything more than a pair of eyes!
Pretty sure Freya will cut some more teeth any day now. She seems to be hungry, but then yells when the spoon goes in her mouth. She is only really happy if she can chew on stuff herself - she is keen on apple and dried apricots. We have started calling her Fruit Bat . She has also had a bit of a cold, so all in all we've had a pretty grumpy baby for the last few days!
BW - Hope you diet went well this weekend - it is always the weekends that are the hardest. The takeaway menu just always seems so tempting on a Friday night when you're knackered and the cupboard is bare.

Jo, sorry to hear Freya has been a bit grumpy. Harrison was really quite horrid when his top teeth were coming through (although it was four in very quick succession so can't say I blame him) Hope she picks up soon.

Well the diet is going OK ish although I've had one or two lapses. On the whole though, I'm being quite resistant to all the bad foods calling my name. I've also got out the Davina DVD that DH bought me when Harrison was born (at my request I hasten to add) so only 9 months to open the box and start some exercise I'm on a thread with a load of others which is really helpful as seeing how well others are doing is spurring me on. Weigh-in is Tuesday so fingers crossed

DD is back to school tomorrow so I'm off to try and find her school bag (just can't remember where I put it) and make sure everything is ready as Harrison is bound to wake up at some ungodly hour on the very day I need us all to be ultra organised.

Well the MN curse has struck our house again. I come on here and say hooray, hooray, hooray as Harrison is sleeping through until 7am and not only has he not done it since, but he's been waking randomly throughout the night. Last night, I went to him 3 times before I went to bed myself, then he was awake and crying at 2,3 and 5.30 then he was up for the day at 6,30. Think he might have another tooth on the move as quite a few times he has cried really hard when he's had a spoon or toothbrush in his mouth, like it's hurt him

Good news on the diet front - I lost 4lb in my first week I'm trying to just be careful about what I eat and eat regular meals (breakfast and lunch instead of hot toast and cakes whenever I feel hungry). I'm also doing my Davina workout twice a week which I'm actually really enjoying. I've also got a Yoga DVD on it's way to me.

Crawling update - still not happening in our house He is really, really trying now though and can get onto his knees and stay there without collapsing. But he really has no idea about moving his arms so I don't think forward moving is imminent

Hope everyone is OK.

We're back from holiday and i've been catching up on all your posts. Things here are fine. Sylvia had a bad cold on holiday and didn't eat anything at all. Vienna was fantastic. We didn't get to do quite as much as we'd planned because Austrian Airilines lost her buggy so i had to carry her in a sling. She's still quite light but i needed frequent breaks - not good for the diet stopping in all those cafes and pubs! (We got the buggy back the day we left.)

Sylvia's been sleeping through for a few nights now (ha! ha! Buzzywizzy ) and in her cot too. I put her there when we go to bed about 12-1 am and she wakes up for a feed about 6.30, then back to sleep till 8 or so when we get up. She seems to have recovered some of her appetite and was very keen on goose meat and fish.

Still only two teeth here. I think Sylvia is very happy to be back home, she has brightened up so much since we've been back, really happy and chatty. Or maybe because she'd nearly lots her voice due to the cold, she's getting it back again. Says 'mama', 'dada' (randomly, not to us necessarilly) and lots of 'thz,thz' sounds.

We had snow in Vienna and Dominic loved it. I'm now seriously starting to look for a new job. That's about it for us for the time being.

Gulp - this is hard isn't it!? Am back at work, feeling as though I've had a limb amputated leaving Iris behind. It took me till midday to get IT support to connect me to the network, at which point they took my laptop away to fix a "little" problem and then two hours later declared it totally broke, so at 2pm I finally found another computer and logged on to my email .... 300 messages to plough through. And no sign of any decent jobs for me that aren't in a crummy location with a horrible commute. Hey ho ... we will get there. Though I did already at one point retire tearfully to the loos vowing to give in my notice .

Hope everyone else is ok. Sorry to hear Busywizzy that the sleep has been jinxed. If it's any consolation last night Iris cried every half an hour till 10.30pm until we realised she had a terrible cold and dosed her with calpol, she then cried at 1.30am, 3am and got up for good at 5.45am. Good job I don't actually have any work to do yet!

Hey Cristina you're back, so glad to hear you had a great time in Vienna although sorry Sylvia was poorly. And what a bummer loosing your buggy I can't imagine having to hump Harrison around for a week, he'd break my back. Am very that Sylvia is sleeping well, but pleased for you. Harrison's will get better soon I know, he just does this every now and again to keep me on my toes

Pidge I'm sure today is horrible for you and you're missing both girls terribly. I still remember the wrench of going back after DD was born and that was seven years ago so I'm not looking forward to it at all next month (gosh that sounds close) I hope it gets easier for you - has Iris settled better for the childminder today?

Knowing that I'm not weighing in again for another week and feeling mega sorry for myself that Harrison hasn't slept for two nights, I indulged in a flake this afternoon. Thought I'd feel mega guilty but no, it was delicious and I relished every second of eating it (about 5 at a push )

Where's Leo today, she's normally on-line at work. Hope all is OK.

hello, I'm here! I'm a bit under pressure at work at the moment, I did check in this morning but didn't get time to write anything!

I'm on my 3rd boss now since I got back from maternity leave!

Poor Lauren, I thought Niklas had it bad getting 5 new teeth in a couple of weeks! I hope she is back to her usual self now.

Jambot - a good point about getting the babies to bed earlier. When niklas goes tobed at 7 he sleeps much better than if he goes to bed later.

Saying very quietly that he slept from 7pm to 6am last night , that's a record for him , only woke once and cried a bit at 1pm, I think he was dreaming, I rubbed his back and he went straight back to sleep. He is also much happier during the day when he has one long sleep after lunch (2 hours) than 2 shorter sleeps.

well done Busywizzy on the diet! on Harry's bad night!

....oh no, it looks as if we are all sleep obsessed again! And so many of hte babies are unwell !

Pidge, if its any consolation tomorrow you are already in teh middle of your working week (I guess you are working tues, wed, thurs?) It goes really quickly and I am sure that once Iris settles she will really enjoy being at the childminders. I hope she is feeling better, is over her cold and you get a better night sleep. A big hug from me.

Niklas is getting quite confident with his walking now. Only a few steps at a time, but he is so cute. He pulls himself up to standing, takes a deep breath and pushes himself off, runs a few steps with a huge grin on his face before he plonks down on his bottom!

Anyone else have the feeling that everyday the babies just get more and more lovely !

Leo, so good to hear Niklas is doing better at night after the tough time you had before Xmas. I'm well impressed by the standing/walking Is he the first on here to walk?

Pidge, how is today going? I need you to reassure me that it's OK going back as I'm starting to feel a bit sick about it.

Well Harrison did much better last night. Went to bed at 6.30, woke at about 9 but settled with a quick stroke of his face, woke at about 2 but went back to sleep by himself after chatting for a bit (like you do at 2 in the morning). Woke again at 4.30 whinging and I gave him his blankie, then back to sleep until 6.15am when we got up. Have been spoilt though by just four days of sleeping until 7am so feel knackered today (what a wimp I am)

Harrison has decided that letting out a full pitched screech is a really good way to get everyone's attention and he has started doing it constantly. By 7 this morning I wanted to throw him out the window as he'd given me such a headache. He's not screaming in an unhappy way just a 'hey everyone, I'm over here and want you to look at me' sort of thing. Grrrrr this better be a phase he grows out of quickly.

Have a good day everyone. Am off to do my exercising to work off the flake I had yesterday.

'Anyone else have the feeling that everyday the babies just get more and more lovely' - NO JUST LOUDER

Hi guys,

Just my usual fly-by-night pit stop!!

I hope you are all doing very well. We are fine, Ava is so much fun these days, a barrel of laughs, she's the smiliest boogey pants baby i've ever met!! She just loves to dance

I've decided that I would like to eat her as she is too delicious

Hasnt the time flown? Our babes are nearin their first year already, I can hardly believe it, surely it was just the other day we were all pregnant???!!

Lots of hugs and kisses to beautiful babies...

Tam & Ava Xx

Hi tamula - great to hear from you - such a great descrition of Ava. I too could gobble up Iris. I nearly smothered her with cuddles when I got home from work.

Busywizzy - am doing 'ok' - actually for no good reason at all I am feeling quite positive today. There is a project which I could join, which is a great role, BUT, BUT, BUT it is a horrible commute. I need to discuss it with dp tonight to see what we think. Probably madness to even contemplate it, and I should probably hold out for something closer to home, even if it's a less interesting role.

Anyway, having cried into my glass of wine last night, I had a great chat today with another 'newish mum' at work this morning. And it reminded me that I DO want to work, and also that Iris will be fine once she settles at the childminder.

She's still pretty unhappy there - I think it's going to take a while for her to get used to it. Am actually (shhhhhh don't tell anyone!) going to slope off early and rescue her this afternoon, since I don't have any work to do yet.

Leo - you are so right - already Wednesday and I'm halfway through my working week!

Busywizzy - it'll be fine. The thought of work made me sick too, just be prepared for the first few days being a real wrench. I think it's better to be prepared for that and then hopefully it'll be easier than you expect.

Glad to hear everyone is having a good week with their noisy, lovely babies!

Had Feeya weighed today, and she has lost weight since I had her weighed in November, only a couple of ounces, but still a new experience for me cos DS1 has never lost weight. She now weighs 20lb 10ozs - so still a good weight overall.

Am starting Jo Jingles Music classes with Freya next week. I am really looking forward to it and it will be nice to do something with her since her life tends to revolve around DS1 most of the time.

Pidge - Good luck with your decision over the project. How long would the commute be, and how long is the project likely to last?

I'm sure Niklas is the first walker. I just love it when they start walking, they can toddle round the park etc. and it makes everything just so much more fun!

Pidge - Iris may be going through separation anxiety at this stage and this coincides with her starting at the childminders'. It could have happened anyway. Sylvia has had it badly for a couple of months now, she cries even when left with DH in the morning for me to take Dominic to school - which is literally over the road and DH holds her up at the window so she can see me at all times. Funnily enough, though, she was fine at the creche at the gym on Monday and today. Go figure. We are going to see Bauhaus in concert on Feb 3rd so I hope she'll be fine with BIL or Dominic's former nanny (who currently does our cLEANIG so Sylvia knows her a bit).

Well done Niklas for his first steps.

Welcome back, Tamula, you sound besotted with Ava!!! As we all are with our babes Every month it seems to me the babies get lovelier.

I need to be off now as Sylvia won't let me type. Bye for now.

Cristina - thanks for those kind words. I know this could have happened anyway, but I'm experiencing deep maternal guilt that we have triggered separation anxiety by launching Iris too quickly into childcare.

OK - am going to do a brain dump to try to make myself feel better, apologies if this is self-absorbed.

I feel that 2 weeks ago we had a happy, confident 10 month old, and now she is somehow traumatised - cries if I'm out of her sight for a minute and needs carrying and holding for much of the day.

The childminders (mum and daughter) are utterly utterly brilliant and loving, so no doubts there, but we just didn't give Iris a long and slow enough settling in period. They said to me yesterday they regretted not insisting on a longer settling in time. How I wish they'd voiced that concern to me before. They also said that in all their years childminding (the mum is 62) they'd never seen a baby or child this upset. . I'm at work now, and it makes me want to cry just writing that. I think Iris is basically crying for much of the day. And sometimes when they try to pick her up to cuddle her she pushes them away.

She was calm when I arrived to collect her but broke down sobbing as soon as she saw me and then wouldn't let go of me or let me put her down even though I was there with her for 45 minutes. Even at home she was terribly clingy.

It's breaking my heart frankly. The only positive note is that I'm not assigned to a project at work yet, so yesterday I left at midday, I'll do the same today and then we have 4 days off and I'll work a half day on Tuesday. Leo - you'll know that to some extent in a consultancy the speed with which you find work is down to how hard you try, and rather disgracefully I'm keeping my head down and trying to remain unassigned for a couple of weeks so I can rescue Iris by working short days.

The childminder said that the problem is that once a child has got upset about something it's quite hard to break the habit. Does that make sense? It did to me - it's just like sleep - Iris will go for weeks settling herself first time in her cot, and then something will go wrong and she'll cry and then you can guarantee she'll cry every time I put her down until somehow we break the cycle. So we've got to come up with some way of breaking her in gently again with the childcare. I just wish I could rewind the clock a month and do the whole settling in period again. I can't believe I was so stupid as to think 3 days was enough.

Busywizzy - I hope all this isn't worrying you - just make sure you get as much time as you can settling Harrison in before you are committed to working full days.

Further adding to my guilt is the thought that I've probably made it harder for Iris by continuing to breastfeed her. Maybe making that separation from me even harder. I've never doubted that decision before. I did the same for dd1 and fed her happily for 2 years. But I'm questioning everything I'm doing right now.

Gosh - this WILL get better I know. It's only my first week and we went through all this with dd1. She was 5.5 months when she started at nursery and she was completely traumatised by it for almost 2 months. I had hoped it might be a bit easier this time round.

Pidge I'm so, so sorry you're feeling this way and want to send you a big, giant hug. I can totally sympathise as I've been through it before with DD and am preparing myself for it with Harrison next month. I could say' don't beat yourself up about it, it will get easier' but they're empty words as you know that already but it doesn't make it any easier does it.

Probably Iris needed longer to settle in but there is nothing you can do about that so now it's just working with your childminders to see how you can help her from here on. They sound like a lovely couple of ladies and you are lucky to have such caring people looking after your girls Perhaps you could do some visits with Iris in your days off over the next few weeks and stay with her as reassurance - almost like a settling in phase after the event IYSWIM.

My heart goes out to you Pidge, it really does and I hope you get through these next weeks as well as Iris. At least DD1 seems very happy so you don't have to worry about both of them.

Not much help but really just wanted to let you know I'm here sympathising all I can. Love to you

Thanks busywizzy - you're absolutely right. I'll get there and will look back on these tear-filled days with a wry smile. And I'm going to try to do exactly what you suggest - spend some time up there with Iris next week, as a kind of belated attempt at a better 'settling in' effort.

Even I can nearly see the funny side of this ... an Iranian guy who I worked with 4 years ago, whose English is NOT his strongpoint, came to chat to me about work and told me I was a 'bad mum' for leaving my 10 month old. Boy was he lucky not to receive a left hook from me .

Oh Pidge ! Just sit back and take your time to find a project, the most important thing is settling Iris in with the childminder, making sure she knows you are coming back.
Would it be an idea to take Iris again to the childminders tomorrow (and stay there with her) so that she gets used to it being a routine or meet the childminder out of that setting, get her to come over to your house for an hour or so. It may make Iris feel more secure about being there and being with the childminder. Does Iris have a favourite toy to take with her? In the beginning Niklas would only sleep in his buggy at the nursery, i guess because it was something he was familiar with.

Whatever age a child is they will experience some separation anxiety when separated from their mother. I can imagine it would be worse the older the child is, my sister had a really bad time when she first put her 3 year old in playgroup. It took 3 months of misery before he was OK about it.

I don't think the breastfeeding has anything to do with it and certainly not a point to feel guilty about.

Busywizzy, Niklas went through a squeeling thing, which then proceeded to be a kind of temper tantrum where he was throwing himself on the floor screaming. Whenever he did it I made a point of turning my back and walking away from him. Not sure if it was just a passing phase or if ignoring it helped but it soon stopped.

Pssts crossed!
and at your collegue Pidge, I probably would have hit him!

Pidge - as you are the Queen of Quinoa, can I distract you for a few minutes with this please!

Quinoa recipes

He meant you're a very good mummy for doing your best for your children - it's just like you say, his English isn't very good. Obviously got his words mixed up

Men are bloody useless aren't they !!!!!! I have a secretary at work who looks after me and a male colleague. Her dog died some time back who she'd had for about 15 years since he was a puppy. She understandably was very upset, but he (my male colleague) said 'it's not like it's a child or anything is it'. God, what's the matter with them .... even if they think things like that, they don't actually have to say the words out loud !! A box of tissues and an hour later, I'd managed to calm her down.

Keep chatting to us today Pidge, we'll try and help all we can. Leo's been through it and I've got it all to come so we need to look after each other

Hey Leo, that looks yummy, will try that for Harrison. Made vegetarian shepherds pie for him yesterday with lentils. Uurrrgghhh, smelt absolutely vile so will see how his lordship reacts at lunchtime.

Made a lovely lemon cake last week (at least I thought so). DD smelt it and said she didn't want any DH had a piece and said it was as dry as sandpaper - it was not, it was lovely and moist - and didn't want any more. I'm on a diet so the whole lot got chucked in the bin

Pidge (queen of cake baking), any tips on low-fat cakes [hopeful emoticon]