March 2005 part 4 - The nights are getting quieter.....

[BonyM]

Not that I want to tempt fate...

Jambot - glad to hear that Lauren's nappy rash is clearing up at last. Grace's bum looked a bit sore this evening - almost every nappy has been dirty today. Not sure whether to put it down to teething ro my fruit compote that she's been devouring (lots of prunes etc.!).

I have another "thug" for a daughter here - think we picked the wrong name for her as not much about her is graceful . She just ploughs her way through everything - climbs over the other babies when I get together with my ante-natal group, and makes all the boys cry! She is very rumbustious and so enthusiastic about everything! Lovely, but can be overwhelming for the other little ones.

Oh - have to go - will post more later.

Have my first phase-in visit with Harrison at the childminders tomorrow. We are going for an hour together so fingers crossed he's happy

no time to read the thread....been really poorly but just an update
nights dreaful, harry clingy as ever

BUT!
he will drink from an open cup and signs LOADS!
more, all done, drink, yes

today i was feeding him and every minute he stopped to sign for more
have give up on sleep

Hi Popsy. Nice to hear from you. Sorry to hear that Harry still isn't sleeping very well and that you have been poorly. Have you tried controlled crying, or is that not an option for you? Well done on the signing - clever Harry!
Grace sounds just like Lauren Jo! Had to rescue quite a few babies from her at Mums and Tots. She was never interested in other babies until recently, but think she thinks they are just big toys. She even stole the dummy right out of a very sweet little girl's mouth and then stuck it in hers! She doesn't even have a dummy!

Sorry - of course it's Bony and Grace!

Good luck at the childminder Busy - hope it goes ok.

Well done to Harry with the signing - not so well done with the sleeping (or lack of). Sorry you are still having problems with this popsy, and sorry that you're not well. Hope things improve soon.

Today didn't quite pan out the way I had planned and we didn't make it to the childminders. DH locked my keys in the car over the weekend and then went off to work today with his set. So when I came to leave the house this morning to take DD to school, we had no keys and so had to get a taxi. I then had to wait in for DH to come home at lunchtime with his keys so we could get mine out of the car. What a phaff. Plan to go to the childminders now on Thursday.

Harrison is still trying to perfect his crawling skills but he's painfully slow and has to have a sit down and rest every few seconds

I'm seriously impressed by Harry's signing. Sorry he isn't sleeping still Popsycal

Aagh, why doesn't it get any easier as they get older? Feel really mean today cos I have told DS1 he can't go to his friend's house tonight because he threw a toy last night and broke it. He has been getting a bit defiant recently and I really felt like I had to do something that would matter to him (I have tried confiscating toys, but he just plays with other ones) hence the coming straight home from school tonight. I know its got to be done, but I feel really horrible!

Freya is full of cold, and sleeping quite a lot. I think all the coughing is wearing her out. She is not drinking very much so tried her on some watered down apple juice yesterday cos she was just so hot, and she loved it. Must make sure it doesn't become a habit. DS1 was only ever really allowed water, and now that is what he asks for all the time. So much better for his teeth than Fruit Shoots!

Running going well, up to 12 miles now! Never thought I would manage that. I made a chocolate torte from the Domestic Goddess book at the weekend and treated myself to a big slice after the run! It was what kept me going.

Hope everyone ok.
Harry's signing must be great, must cut down on his frustration if he can tell you some of the things he needs.

Jo, DD is 8 now and I still frequently find her more difficult to 'parent' than Harrison. Last night she seemed really restless when I put her to bed and I had to go to her quite a few times. After about an hour I got quite cross and told her off and she started crying Tells me two girls in her class are being 'mean' to her and she's sad at going to school I felt so bad and now need to try and uncover what's happening. She told me some examples of what's happened and some were just silly things children do but others were more worrying. She could just be ultra sensitive at the moment as she was very upset at her grandad dying and is still very tearful about that - or it could be that she is being picked on And we sent her to private school with small class sizes to avoid this very sort of thing. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

I need to make an appointment to speak with her teacher which I'll do when I collect her today. I hate doing things like that but if DH went, he'd get all defensive about DD and I don't think that will help.

Early wakings seem such an easy problem by comparison.

By the way, I think you did the right thing with DS. I've done that before and it was most effective !!

Jo - DS (6) has written a booklet about "Dominic and his mean Daddy". It's hard to be firm with him and he's an expert at getting us into the roles of good cop/bad cop (I'm the goody, usually). I'm re-reading "How to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk" at the moment and DH will get a turn afterwards. I think this is the first parenting book he'll actually read, but things are getting a bit difficult with Dominic. He'll be lovely for 3 days then have a row of 2-3 days of being really difficult, especially around bed-time.

Leo - I hope you find a good parenting course that suits you. I've been on one back in April, just a short evening session, but I enjoyed it (about positive parenting). As with books as well, having information can't be a bad thing, even if in the end you'll still do what seems right for you. I also notice that many of MY behaviours take a long time to change, I catch myself afterwards thinking "I could have handled this better". But in the heat of the moment I forget what I've read. You still have a long, long way to go till you encounter such problmes, though. (I sympathise about the wriggliness at nappy change time.)

BW - your poor DD. I hope you find out what's bothering her. DS has fallen out with one of his best friends, I think they are fighting over who's best friend with another boy. He's come home with a black eye from this friend and yesterday with a bruise on his leg. DS doesn't seem taht disturbed by it but we are getting a bit worried.

I am baking bread today and feelin virtuous. Otherwise, it could be seen as procrastinating doing some work for the office, which is bad.

Sylvia is well, so cheerful and sweet. She's babbling a lot and i'm surprised sometimes to hear the low noises coming out of such a delicate and dainty baby.

Well done to the runners - I still only manage sauna & steam room at the gym - as if that will get me anywhere!

Well have biten the bullet and asked to make an appointment with DD's teacher - I'm seeing her tomorrow. Felt myself getting all emotional when I said I needed to talk about DD so will have to practise deep breathing exercises today to make sure I don't show myself up tomorrow

Harrison slept right through last night after a week and a bit of unsettled nights. He's not coughing nearly so bad now and his cold seems better so hopefully, we're over the worst

With his cold and not sleeping well, DD and her upset and DH's father, I feel absolutely done in at the moment - not tired, just no energy. Diet doesn't help (no chance of a chocolate boost) although I've now lost 8lbs so it feels worthwhile when I step on the scales. Only two and a half weeks before I go back to work and I'm determined to fit nicely into my old suits.

Have a nice day everyone. I'm off to have a lovely glass of water and a ryvita whilst Harrison is asleep - lucky old me !! I'm not going to do the ironing though - that's my treat today

BW - Hope all goes well at school tomorrow. Let us know how you get on. Have you got to take Harrison? It can be difficult to concentrate with a little one around. It is horrible when they are not happy about going. I am finding the whole school thing very hard, when do you talk to the teacher, when things should just be left etc etc. All of a sudden there are parts of DS1's life that I just have to let him get on with himself, and it is very difficult. I am looking forward to half term!

DS1 came straight home from school yesterday without going to his friend's house, and he behaved very well. No tantrums and he walked home very nicely. I was very pleased with him that he accepted the situation and he seems to understand why it happened (I'll just have to see if he decides to break any more toys at home before I conclude that my parenting techniques are second to none! - I'm suspecting we may have a few more incidents yet!)

Freya has just gone for a sleep which is very unusual this early. She normally waits until about 11.30am. Perhaps she is sleeping to try and fight off her cold. Her appetite does not seem to be afftected though, and she is still eating well.

Must admit though that Freya is getting a bit of a pain whenever I leave the room. She absolutely screams the place down, can't even empty the washing machine or put dinner on without my little shadow following me. Hopefully she will grow out of this phase pretty soon, cos it can be a bit wearing when you can't even answer the phone or go to the loo without the sound of a screaming baby following you!

Jo, Harrison went through that at Xmas time and it lasted about 3 weeks. He screamed everytime I was out of his eyesight, even if DH was with him and I was completely drained. He even cried if I put him down as he interpreted that as I was leaving him. Never had separation anxiety with DD (that I can remember) and it's very hard.

Also understand about loosing control when they start school. I've found each year gets harder as they are encouraged to be more and more independant at school, whereas in Reception, I used to take her in, help her with her coat and bag etc. Now, I drop her off, pick her up and that's the total sum of my involvement other than homework. I feel I know my DD so well but what she's like at school - I have absolutely no idea. Will probably have a better idea tomorrow after my 'talk'.

Hope Freya picks up soon.

Don't know if anyone has been following Popsycal's sleep thread but Harry has been taken into hospital as he has a big lump come up on his neck. Poor Popsy - like she doesn't have enough to cope with at the moment with him not sleeping.

Hope he's OK Popsy and hope you're OK too

Popsy, I wish you and Harry the very best. It must be worrying for you. Love, Cristina

Well, I have just got back fro my meeting with DD's teacher and it went so well. I was really nervous that I was going to a) start blubbing and b) that she would start disputing that nobody was being horrid to DD. But when I said DD says a girl is being mean to her, the teacher said, was it girl X and I said yes and she said, I knew it would be her - what a relief as I immediately felt calm and rational.

The teacher says girl X is a very sly and manipulative child and because my DD is so quiet and mild, she is an easy target. I can really understand that as DD is a really kind girl and would never want to upset anyone or hurt their feelings, even if that person was horrid to her in the first place.

So we've had a talk about what can be done at school to protect DD from this girl and the teacher will watch the situation closely. I've also got some ideas on what I can do with DD to help her stand up for herself a bit more.

God, I never dreamt I'd be having to deal with this sort of thing and it's made me both upset and angry. Now though I have to try and be grown-up and help DD.

As Jo said the other day, it just doesn't ever get easier.

Oh yes, and Harry (Popsy's not mine) is out of hospital and has a really bad ear infection but nothing more sinister. Hooray although hope he gets better soon.

So glad it went well, BW. It must have been a relief that the teacher understood you and you didn't feel the need to be defensive.

Hi
He is fine though I still feel very uneasy about it.

I am off work and boys at childminders.
Am ringing at lunch time
we have to go to hospital again next week to check - though i felt they were doing it more to reassure me than anything else.
They seems certain it was the start of a virus.ear infection as we have all been pretty poorly in the last few weeks,

I had a horrible few hours. Cant tell you how scared I felt

poor Harry, popsy. Might explain, at least in part, his restless nights.

popsycal - what a fright - so glad he seems to be on the mend. It's good to get a follow up appointment, just to put your mind at rest.

BW - well done you for talking to your dd's teacher - I would be exactly the same - fearful of blubbing myself, rather than sorting things out efficiently. It sounds like you did a great job, and they're on the ball about what's been happening. Your poor dd though - .

I've been on my new project at work for 3 days, it's actually a return to the project I worked on before having Iris. Somewhat to my surprise it's been really nice to go back and see old faces. I don't really have regular colleagues because I work for a consultancy and move from project to project, so this is the next best thing. And it's been great catching up with everyone. Also VERY busy trying to get myself set up to do some real work! It is still a long commute - an hour and twenty each way. So it's out the door at 7.15am, 35minute bike ride, then a train journey and back home by 6pm if all goes well.

The great news here is that for the last two days and for the first time ever, Iris has not cried when dp left her at the childminder's. Hooray . And she is on such great form - babbling away, and doing her monkey and lion impressions to make us laugh!

Hi all, Iove managed to drop in and read all your posts this week, but haven't managed to write. And now Niklas is destroying the office (again) so now is not the best time! I'll do my best to update this evening!

Harrison had his first phase-in visit at the childminders yesterday afternoon and it went really well. We stayed for an hour and he sat happily playing with all the new toys and with the childminder's little girl, who has just turned three. He didn't seem bothered at all, although I was obviously there with him the whole time but he didn't keep looking round for me.

We have another visit together on Monday morning, another visit on Wednesday afternoon, when I'm going to stay for an hour and then leave for about half an hour to collect DD from school. That then gives us all the following week to do as many visits as we feel are necessary.

Feeling much happier now

Pidge really glad Iris seems to be settling. You knew she would but it must be a weight off your mind now that it's actually happening. Glad work is going well also, although don't envy you that journey. Where are you travelling to?

Pidge - so glad that Iris is happier at the childminder's. You must be so relieved. Glad that you are enjoying work as well.

Busy - sounds as though Harrison will settle well at his childminder's - hope the rest of the visits go as swimmingly as the first one. You must feel a lot happier about dd as well now that you have spoken to the teacher. It's good that they're taking this seriously.

Hope Harry is feeling better popsy - horrible time for you .

We have had some bad nights with Grace this week (although probably not bad at all compared with Harry).

Although she goes to sleep without problems almost every night, she has been waking once a night and not settling again - Tuesday I was with her for 1.5 hrs, Wednesday, dh with her for an hour, and last night it was 1/2hr. So getting better but not sure why this has started. She will lie down with a bit of shushing and patting but as soon as we make a move to leave the room she sits bolt upright and starts crying. Hope it doesn't continue.

Other than that, she is absolutely gorgeous - chats away all day long and is so happy most of the time. Loves to climb the stairs and just adores other babies - bought her "my first baby Annabel" today which she just keeps hugging and "talking" to!

Still not clapping, pointing or signing at all but does wave goodbye (although has to be in the right mood!).

Glad it went well with Harrison Busy. One thing less to stress about.
Wonder what's waking Grace up Bony? She's not cold is she? Find the only thing that normally wakes Lauren is the temperature.
Lauren has gone to my parents for the weekend. We are trying to finish last minute jobs on the house before my cousin arrives next week and am finding it impossible to achieve anything with a nosey and demanding crawler about.
Took her for her monthly check up yesterday. Although she grew a cm last month (79cm), she didn't put on any weight, which is a first. Think it's due to her two week spell of runny tummy. Am going to start phasing out her bottle from next week, with the aim to have her drinking everything, including her milk, from a cup by a year. She's an old hand with her cup for other liquids so don't think it'll be a problem. It'll probably only be slightly tricky with her bedtime bottle as she does love that. But it's not as if the milk is disappearing, just what it comes in.
It's been stinking hot in Cape Town. Feb is always our hottest month and on exactly the first of the month is shot up about 10 degrees! Overcast today though, so bit of a respite. Remember being 8 months pregnant in this heat last year - not fun. Am going to time trying for the second so that my last months at least fall into autumn.
Leo, won't Niklas be the first one celebrating a birthday? Think we should just remind each other of the exact birth dates so that we don't forget anyone's birthday.
Lauren - 9 March ( Same as Iris)

Hi all,
Well Niklas is sick again! this time another stomach thing and today dh has got it. It seems to be one thing after another! We were supposed to be going to a wedding party this evening and for the first time going out for an evening on our own, leaving Niklas with a friend. I'm not happy about it but I think I am going alone. Uuuurgh, everyone I know going (which is about 2 people) are going in couples, its a long drive and I'm not sure I have the energy to cope with a Swiss German evening.... but its a good friends wedding, she will be disappointed if I'm not there!

Pidge and Busy - glad to hear childminding things are going OK.

Popsycal - I'm really sorry that you are still having such a bad time . It really is time that things got better for you.

On the sleep thing Niklas has started doing what Grace is doing. He goes to sleep no problem, but wakes up at 1 or 2 and will not go back to sleep! He settles down, I get back into bed and just as I close my eyes he starts crying again! This went on for 3 hours one night. I've tried bringing him into bed with us, giving him milk but it doesn't help. Luckily if I am too tired I tell dh that I'm not gettig out of bed. Even if I wake up and he doesn't he gets kicked out ! Otherwise despite throwing up all over me many times over the last few days and the most unbelievable stinky nappies he is adorable !

Anyone got good ideas for the birthday parties????

I think Caleb and Serena are a couple of days older than Niklas, he is 23rd Feb.