April 2011; springtime arrivals - blackbird, song thrush, mistle thrush, nipple thrush, nappy thrush...

[ILikeToMoveItMoveIt]

Here we are, our new thread and this time we all have our babies !

I thought we were getting thrush again, but then realised I had let ds's latch get sloppy. He was constantly clicking and tutting at the breast but I was too distracted to notice.

Ds and I made butterfly cakes together this morning, ds got to choose the colour of the buttercream icing ..... It is a very lurid shade of pink and they are covered in sugar strands. You can never have enough sugar!

arch yes go. What a shame that DH has pulled out!

cycle my hair is falling out in handfuls too.

Thanks frak, I do appreciate your wisdom really! I'll check that link out now.

I think I owe you a

If it's just the last week and you've changed nothing with timings then you're probably bang in the middle of that change in the way he goes to sleep - which at 4 months is about right - plus he's working on important gross motor skills, teething and other really big developmental stuff. Another fab book is the Wonder Weeks. After 20 weeks it should get easier (which a lot of people wrongly attribute to weaning) but I often used to get calls from frantic parents around 4 months - I think it's a) when you hit another tiredness wall and b) the whole change in sleep really throws people but it's normal.

Of course babies develop at different rates and for your sake I hope I'm wrong too but don't beat yourself up if it doesn't work because he might still be a bit young. It's very rarely stress for nothing - at the very least you tried even if it doesn't work yet.

Someone repeat my own advice back to me in a month please!

arch go! She'll appreciate it and one day she may well be in your position with a toddler and baby so you're setting a positive example by braving it (and she'll appreciate all the effort all the more post-kiddies).

Thanks Ali (one for you too)

Feeding to sleep was working, but isn't now. I'll try moving story time too, and keep going.

I'm back to work in 8 weeks. I need him to sleep from 7pm so I can work in the evenings, but I still want him to wake for a BF overnight. Hmm, not sure I'll get that wishlist!

( for everyone else too!)

Right o well I'm getting my confidence up again to go along, thanks to you ladies. I'm not going to find the spring in my step again by isolating myself. I'm going to brave it.

My nails will not be perfect, I've ironed the childrens' clothes, the dog has got the feeling that something unusual is happening and decided to wee on my dress (agrhhhh)......this is not normal behavior from him and perfect timing.....so I'm going to have to wear something I'm not entirely happy with (doesn't exactly skim over the mummy tummy). Trying to do make up whilst breastfeeding isn't working. It's comical, really. Exhausting, but comical. I feel like we are sliding into being an approximation of Outnumbered. God help us.

Btw sleep here is also in short supply and so I have a lot of empathy with those experiencing sleep issues just now.

Lis that chocolate cake sounds wonderful!

20 weeks! That's mid August! I'll find that book and cling on to that magic number!

We'll keep trying for now but reserve the right to bail if it doesn't work.

And you're right about the motor stuff & teething. He's trying to launch himself at toys and has a tooth coming through.

Good luck Arch, hope your dog settles. x

Did I just put a x on MN?

I am cracking up.

Although the sentiment is genuine, Arch!

Well after all my talk of brilliant sleep last week we've had about 6 hours each of the last 2 nights. M has been hard to settle and waking up with wind after a couple of hours - pulling her knees up and crying, obviously in discomfort. The farts come out but she's pretty distressed about it and obviously wanting to be asleep :( The gripe water doesn't seem to be helping so today I'm going to try increasing the tummy massage and drink mainly water in case it's somehow all the blackcurrant I've been drinking . Any other suggestions?

Enjoy the wedding Arch

Glad you're going Arch, it always feels like Outnumbered here too!

Pet- don't be so hard on yourself with the whole sleeping issue. You live and learn is my motto! Lack of baby sleeping is not a reflection on your parenting, so don't take it personally.

I don't agree with letting babies cry themselves to sleep, and there is evidence that it does cause harm. I am not saying this to make you or anyone else feel bad, because I remember doing it with ds1 when I was at the end of my tether, I just think people should be aware.

There are many ways to do sleep training and they don't have to involve the baby crying. IMO if a baby falls asleep after crying it's because they are either exhausted or because they have learnt that no one comes to them when they are upset, NOT because they have learnt to self settle.

My top tips:

Learn to identify their tired signals. Eye rubbing, thousand yard/vacant stare etc.
Before they are over tired, take them to their room.
Have a comfy chair in their room, make sure the room is cool and dark.
Wrap them, swaddled them, put them in their grobag.
Sit down with them and feed them/pat them/rock them, sing some songs.
If they tend to wake up 15 minutes after falling asleep, keep them in your arms until they stir, then shush them back to sleep.
Once they are asleep again put them in their cot.
If they wake after 45 mins, go and resettle as soon as you hear the first murmur.

Do all of the first steps in the same order every time, make the whole preparation into a routine that your lo will eventually recognise. They will then associate the routine with going to sleep and the time it takes to settle them will decrease over time.

There will be frustrations abound and it will feel like all you ever do is settle them to sleep, but you have to look at it as a long term thing. There will come a time when it only takes 10 minutes to settle them and they stay asleep for a couple of hours, because they will also eventually learn to sleep through the 45 min sleep cycle.

I have done this with both ds's and it worked for both of them, hopefully it will be the same for ds3!!!!

Ips are all clear and H was utterly charming during the scan

We still feed to sleep here. I find feeding H in the darkened and quiet bedroom for his last feed really helps him drop off. I've moved the crib a bit away from our bed too. Our mattress is really crap and makes noise whenever we turn over etc so having the crib a bit further helps with noise not startling him as he drops off.

LIke that's exactly what I've been doing, and it's been great for ages, but it's starting to not work now.

I spent most of last night holding him while he cried. It was all tiredness & frustration. We didn't leave him to cry at all, but he cried despite the cuddles. And all that was after 5 feeds and him dozing off on me! He couldn't have fitted any more milk in to feed to sleep!

Good news about H's hips cycle!

cycle that is really good news about the hips :)

petal - are you giving him any Calpol or Ashton Parsons? Because that sounds like teeth to me - inconsolable at night. Can you find him anything else to chew on - teether? a finger?

Oh Petal, I really feel for you (big hug). I'm begininng to realise just how lucky I've been with B. He has self settled more of less from day 1. Could that be because I couldn't pick him up myself for the first 3 days in hospital post CS?

Last night was the first night since hosp I've been on my own with B. He really makes a lot of noise when he's sleeping. So I've had a pretty broken night, but not because he was up. Hightened mummy senses I think! Woke at 5.30 for a feed, which is early for him, but there are no black out blinds here so I think it was the to do with that. then the heating (yes heating) came on at 6.30! I feel like I'm in the tropics!

Arch i giggled at the thought of you with BF make up on and dog wee dress!! <a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=www.istockphoto.com/file_thumbview_approve/1626888/2/istockphoto_1626888-curtsy-female-clown.jpg&imgrefurl=www.istockphoto.com/stock-photo-1626888-curtsy-female-clown.php&usg=__qnwa3GUJqVuYu2C9TkmA2IjJiHA=&h=380&w=268&sz=44&hl=en&start=12&zoom=1&tbnid=k2mK1nbFNhJYaM:&tbnh=136&tbnw=106&ei=1DYgTrnHIceDhQeIr7i3Aw&prev=/search%3Fq%3Dfemale%2Bclown%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26client%3Dfirefox-a%26sa%3DN%26rls%3Dorg.mozilla:en-GB:official%26biw%3D1024%26bih%3D456%26tbm%3Disch&um=1&itbs=1&iact=hc&vpx=143&vpy=82&dur=80&hovh=267&hovw=188&tx=107&ty=161&page=2&ndsp=14&ved=1t:429,r:0,s:12" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Like this Oh how our standards slip when we have DCs!! Have a fab time at the wedding! She's got a glorious day! Hope it holds!

I'm just back from visiting my friend. She kindly told me how well she thought I was doing with B as she thought I would eb a drama queen nightmare! Her actual words! She is not the first person to comment in such a manner. I wouldn't have even said I was a drama queen before, but I obviously was :o.

It's so good to see B with my brother & sister, they are both really good with him, but usually get cast aside when we are visiting as they both are still at home with M&D. DB took him this morning while I showered and I came down to find he;s changed his nappy and put on the clothes I'd laid out and was warming a bottle!! He's more organised than me!! DSis is still quite "tucky" when she's holding him, but is relaxing a bit more every time she has him. It's good to be here!

Expressing Star I find I get the most in the mornings, even if I don't feel huge. But I'm not feed directly so can't really comment on whens best for you. Could you try to express a little after every feed?? Or if P goes for a big gap between feeds pump then. Just store it in the fridge until you have enough to fill a freezer bag. Its good for 3 days in the fridge.

Ali I'm trying a bit of calpol today. But I'm not sure how much is actually getting into his system, with his constant stream of sick. I'll try some before his 'last' feed tonight.

I've just put some teething gel on next weeks tesco order.

Just watching OBEM USA, it's brutal! Makes my ambulance transfer, monitoring & tear seem positively calm & easy (it was pretty calm, to be fair!).

Petal I'm just watching obem USA as well! Where do they find all these screamers?! I didn't scream and I didn't hear any others screaming when I was in delivery area.

Arch wearing baby in a sling is marvellous for covering lumpy bumpy tum. Hope you enjoy the wedding!

cycle hair falling out here too. Wish it would fall out of my legs and bikini line at the same rate.

Remind me Petal, does he have reflux? Although as others have said, teeth could be a good bet.

I feel surprisingly ok today considering I was up for three hours in the night. Ds3 fed and went to sleep, fab. I then couldn't drop off again and dh started to snore (the fucker). Then ds2 woke up with a bad dream, I was already awake so went to settle him rather than wake dh so he could resettle him. I get back into bed, then still couldn't sleep so I ended up disturbing ds3 who then woke up. By this time it was 4.30am so I fed him and luckily we all then slept for 3 hours. Hopefully there won't be any tag team waking tonight!

Ds2 is at his granny's this avo, so I made a cake for the village fete tomorrow. I hope to god mine isn't the last to sell (oh the shame). It's a blueberry and pecan crumble loaf cake. It looks and smells nice, so fingers crossed.

Oh, and I got picked for another MN product review. This time it's children's books

Look, look, I've finally found the square brackets on my iPad!

ILike - no reflux, but deffo a tooth. I can see & feel it. I've just given him some calpol before his feed (which he's just having now). Hopefully it'll help.

Mmmm yummy sounding cake!

sassy I screamed. It was a very effective method of pain control actually. I got fed up with the panty breathing and vocalising was much more helpful!

I guess whatever worked to get you through it! I was convinced I would scream and swear and even apologised in advance but once L was born dh said he was impressed with how I hasn't shouted or sworn and that's when I realised I hadn't!!!

Aaaaarrrrgggghhhhhh! Why can't I sleep. Got to drive home tomorrow and I can't get to sleep. Not good!

Lis can I join you with a GRRAaaaggghhh of my own? I haven't been able to sleep for days and am now in a stinking mood. My patience (is that the right spelling?!) has gone out the window. I'm having to literally bite my tongue to stop myself telling DH how to do things with S and keep sounding very snippy. I hate myself for it and just keep thinking how on earth am I going to get through next week on my own with DH away?!

Was dreading my weekend alone when DP was on tour Dairy but I actually found it ok. I think because I didn't have to worry about making dinner etc at a time to suit everybody so I just went with the flow.

Hi all! I have found a quiet moment to type, C asleep in the buggy and DH asleep upstairs, after being awake since 4am because he couldn't get back to sleep! Bless him, he wasn't even doing a feed.

Cycle my hair is falling out in clumps. I am surprised I'm not bald. I have long, thick hair so I guess it looks more obvious but I am putting balls of it in the bin after a shower and every time I look at C he has a couple dangling off him. It's gross. Great news on the hip scan too, so pleased for you.

Arch, I might be late on the advice but also agree, go to the wedding. Have a glass of fizz and everyone will tell you how great you look because that's what people do when you've had a baby and even if it's not true it makes you feel good!

I've had a good week in a strange way. C's feeding has been really tough going, slow, lots of fussing, screaming etc. but we had our 3 month review at the hospital because of him being prem. I saw a wonderful doctor who agreed that C has silent reflux and has upped his medication (the meds I asked for at the GP without even knowing if they were the right thing), has given me his email address and told me to just contact him directly with any problems or questions. He completely understood all the problems that we have been having and it was such a massive relief to talk to someone who knows exactly what has been going on and how to help. I sat in the car and cried when we left the hospital because it was so good to know I have someone to help and that I'm not just over anxious or getting it all wrong.

What this has made me realise is the pressure I have been putting on myself with feeding times, sleeping etc., feeling that we should be doing certain things and then feeling like I am failing when all C wants is to sleep in my arms. Of course he bloody does, the poor little chap is in pain. As a result I have found I feel calmer - if it takes an hour to feed it takes an hour, if he wakes up twice in the night then so be it. I know this is a very particular situation but I though it might be helpful for others to hear, as sometimes the pressure we put on ourselves to 'get it right' is more stressful than anything else.... Petal.

In other news, I am meeting two childminders next week as I am going back to work in December and need to sort out what I want to do. After speaking to the first one I cried because I can't imagine trusting anyone else to look after C. MUST BE STRONGER.

And, I am going to start weaning in a couple of weeks, maybe less, as the lovely doctor said it was a good time, C will be 5 months next week, and should help with the reflux too. I haven't even started looking into how to do this so research needed. I'll let you know how we get on.