Oct 08 - It's all about weeeeee!!! Hopefully in potties but who knows!

[50ftQueenie]

Hello! It's me. I thought I'd start a thread which is VERY cheeky for someone who's not been around for AGES!

I have a question. It's trivial and a bit silly... but...

I am well aware of the fact that we should ignore tantrums and never give in to something that Q wants if he cries/shouts/tantrums because we've said "no" or not given it to him. I We do this - make sure he knows that crying isn't going to get him what he wants.

However, DH sometimes responds to it... and it makes me cringe.

But there are sometimes. Like tonight. DH had said "you can push the car button and make it go TWO more times, then it's bath time". Q stalled and stalled and pushed the car without pushing the button...etc. (he's really good at stalling bath/bedtime even though he's knackered). So I hadn't heard DH say about the 2 more times and Q was starting to fade and show obvious signs of being tired and I said, "ok, bathtime." He burst into tears and cried and cried and sobbed "I just want to play with the car".... DH said "I did say he could have 2 more times to push the button on the car".

At that point, Dh thought it was unfair for me to take him away to the bath because he had been promised his 2 turns. I felt I had said bathtime, so I was going to bring him and I didn't want him getting his way after throwing his little tantrum about it because in his mind, he'd think "I screamed and got my own way".... right?

DH thinks he can understand that we would have been letting him do it because he was promised the 2 times initially. I disagree, I think... now I"m not sure.

What do you think? Told you it's a bit silly, but this sort of thing comes up a lot and I'm not sure how to tackle it. I don't think DH is sure, either. We want to be fair to him and not go against our word... but we also don't want him thinking that turning on the waterworks gets him his own way.

Ignore me if you think I'm just pfb and crap at parenting.

Ah star. I work on the principle that if I haven't heard a promise that another adult has made to a child, and they explain in front of the child, then I sometimes apologise to the (now screaming) child and let them have/do what was promised. Though I would make them do it fast! i do not countenance prevarication. If it's really unreasonable - "I promised he could have an entire Cadbury dairy Milk before bedtime" etc then I delay the promise
You have to admit you haven't heard something as a genuine mistake. We also try not to undermine each other - though we're largely unsuccessful in this most of the time!

For once I agree with your dh star .

Ear not too bad thanks. Must go to bed now and put drops in.

Eek for everything pepper!

csws eek re your ear infection. I was plagued with them during my last pg and my GPs couldn't suggest anything that would work and would be safe in pg. I ended up going private (via health insurance), got properly checked and tested and got some straightforward advice (mainly keeping my ears out of water), different (but safe antibiotics) and was told to buy some over the counter stuff called Ear Calm (basically just vinegar but works every time I've had a twinge since), the infection cleared within a week.

star we have similar things happen here esp as I'm the bad guy and dh is the good guy. In a similar situation, I'd apologise to F but say you can either press the button right now or it's off to bed. Appreciate that's not easy whilst said child is mid-tantrum tho!

Have to agree with the dairy-haters here. Lately, I've actually wondered if all children are dairy-intolerant to some degree.

The meeting with work went very well, thanks for asking, star. I was pleased to discover I've retained some semblance of a brain and ability to converse about stuff other than poo types at any rate. We spoke about a few potential jobs, one in particular I'm going to apply for but the thought of doing it part-time is rather scary as it's pretty full-on (managing all business sales conducted online). I'm adamant about sticking to 20 hours pw but I keep forgetting this and thinking I can take on the world.

F's been playing up again the last two days which means either teething or illness is on the horizon. He's always fabulously charming to others tho the sneaky rat, eg today introducing some acquaintances to his 'baby brudder' (ie A, his sister) and telling them oh so proudly that she's crawling. Omitting to mention that his fave sport of the moment is stealth riding on her back...

Sounds pretty horrific there at the moment pepper!

Have no clue what exactly 'the barn' is but I can see it strikes fear into the hearts of our fellow threadies so I hope dd doesn't get well soon, if that doesn't sound too awful ;-)

Thanks everyone :) That makes sense. I did back down and let him do the car two more times, but everyone always says don't let them think that crying has gotten them what they want. They need to know that shouting and crying about something isn't the way to get your own way.... so I've been doing my best to stick to this and I really thought, great, now he's going to think that the tantrum got him his own way. But I guess it's not as detrimental as I thought. Well, he got to play with the car...
but he did delay pushing the button the second time and kept saying "I didn't push the button yet" I just have to let go sometimes and let him get on with it I guess!

Thanks :)

Hi all, thanks for all your tips which I have been reading. I started him on infacol a few days ago and he does seem to have improved quite a lot, certainly not as bad as the weekend, I'm wondering if that was a growth spurt.

Sorry for not commenting on everyone else but I'm having a bad day with the PND and I just dont have the energy to type it all [pathetic] have just had phone consultation with doc to increase the dose to the same as after DD was born. Fingers crossed

oh pistachio i meant to say, have you tried block feeding to reduce your letdown/flow? i forgot that that was what made the most difference to A's reflux and wind pain. i also used to have to take A off and let the letdown flood into a muslin too.

i wish i'd known about this with F as he had all the same problems but i didn;t know about block feeding then.

Sorry to hear you're in a bad place HMM. You've got the medication now haven't you? I really hope it starts helping soon.

for ear infection CSWS. Agony. I hope you're over the worst now.

Star - I agree with your DH but I might have put a time limit on Q having his 2 goes.

Cakes - Well done on the job interview. It feels like a huge bonus to know that the brain cells haven't completely wasted away doesn't it. When are you due back at work?

I'm very proud that I've completed day 6 of Shred and I'm actually finding it quite manageable now. Pistachio - I accidently watched a bit of level 2, those pressup things at the beginning look a bit scary. Is it a pretty big leap up to the next level?

Oh and Pepper. Have you managed to get out of the barn situation??

Hello all, it's been a busy last week of term with two trips to a local farm, one rubbish and one fantastic. Feeling very that I've reached the holidays now.

HP- Q sounds similar to J in terms of delay tactics, we have delay tactics all the time, in fact his favourite way to start a sentence is "I'm just....." I am often guilty of undermining taking over taking charge of a situation but am trying so hard to step back as it causes a lot of rows here. If I speak too soon now I do say 'oh sorry I didn't know Daddy said that' or similar.

HMM- hope you feel more yourself soon and that you get the dosage of meds you need and Pistachio not good news about your back, hope you can get an osteo appointment soon.

Pepper- I remember reading about your barn experience last year, are you there? Are you surviving?

CSWS-hope your ear infection has gone now?

We are off to Peppa Pig World tomorrow. I think I will be more excited than J. It was my birthday yesterday so it's kind of my birthday treat. I guess you know your child rules your life when you go to PP World for your birthday instead of a night clubbing We got a very good deal through the park for two days entry and overnight at a hotel and have friends and their ds coming too. Just hope it is as good as it looks, found a forum on here about it and people thought it was great, and that the rain stays away.

ronshar has been there pp and said it was good (though busy iirc). I am def planning on going some time this year.

Still treating ear infection, but it's not really giving me any grief, so I can largely forget about it during the day. :)

pistachio - it did take a few weeks after the birth before my sciatica properly went. I was very worried when it didn't instantly disappear!

I'm baaaaack!
2 nights in the barn, I was so cold on Friday night it actually hurt to breathe and I have completely lost my voice . The nest of jackdaws immediately above our heads awoke bloody early . The DSs were wildly overexcited as we had their 2 cousins in the barn with us. DD was terrified of the whole barn thing and it took me an hour to get her to even lie down in the travel cot let alone go to sleep...... then she woke very early and shouted till all 4 boys woke up Friday was a very short night!
Took us 5 hours to get there on Friday after work, and then we had a clear run this afternoon back but there was an awful accident just ahead of us and they closed the A303 so it took us 5 hours to get back as well.
It was PILs 70th birthday party, it turns out SMIL wasn't actually even talking to PIL as she catered for 60 for lunch on sat (in the drizzle) whch led to a very slightly awkward atmosphere - especially as PIL didn't seem to have noticed (think upper class vague)
So a tippy top weekend all in all.
I am so glad to be home!
Shall now read back now I've got that off my chest!

I'm still so intrigued about this barn.
Do you have photos?

csws that dinosaur place looks so cool. How far away is it?

I've just google mapped it. It will take some convincing to get DH to take a journey that far - 1 hour and 20 minutes approx.

I'd love to come up sometime, though!
It looks like a lot of fun :)

Sounds great pepper .

Star - you have to convince dh to stop being so restrictive about days out. 1 hr 20 really isn't that far at all, and given how much Q would enjoy it surely he should relent? There's a fantastic adventure playground too, called Fort Knebworth, which can keep them entertained for hours. Make a weekend of it if you have to, but do go. And Q gets free entry until he's 4 too, so you'd only have to pay for you and/or dh (£8 each). Can Q name all the dinosaurs in my photos? (I can't remember them all, so don't ask me if he can't!)

at outgrowing it since bathtime!
Ds has thinned out from how he used to be, but does still have a bit of a tummy on him. I think he still weighs marginally over 15kg. That's err, 33lbs, so 2 stone 5. Don't think your ds looks overweight in the pics I've seen pistachio - just a chunky build like my kids.

I'll ask him in the morning but probably 80%. :) we will definitely go. If dh doesn't want to then I'll go with Q when Im on holiday and dh isn't.

It's funny CSWS but I hadn't even considered going to and we're just down the road! When we were about 17 me and my friends broke into fort knebworth in the middle of the night and went down the slide etc ... Was very funny until I thought I was stuck in one of the tunnels designed for children. Also breaking out much harder than breaking in...

ksal!