MIL RANT: Please ignore, just letting off steam while she's out...
- Moo asks for something from Nana or any adult and Nana jumps up and automatically goes to get her what ever it was...BUT the only way Nana gives her anything or participates in play is if Moo gives her a kiss or cuddle. Moo does not understand this sort of behaviour and is getting more and more withdrawn with Nana and Nana keeps pushing and 'whining' that Moo doesn't know her enough -this boils my blood to no end as A) Meg DOES NOT get everything she asks for automatically, but we Do play with her whenever she asks if we're not in the middle of anything else B)kiss and cuddles may be asked for, but ought to be freely given. C) I do not like emotional bribery D) ffs if you'd back off and let Moo relax around you she'd soon come to you as she's a loving creature and enjoys people and playing
I have said to MIL that we don't ask or expect Moo to give kisses and cuddles for things she asks for as we want Moo to feel free to ask for things and when she does ask for things we prefer to determine if Moo
can have said item especially if it's food because otherwise it spoils meals.
To which I got: well she should want to give kisses and cuddles, little ones always do especially to their Nana's... and if she's hungry you should feed her.
- I finish a cup of drink or plate of something and she swipes it away immediately and then washes it right away while making numerous comments about needing to keep on top of these things or the house just becomes a MESS!
Now, granted I agree to a certain degree abt not leaving dishes around... BUT I tend to use the same cup and plate all day long (unless the plate gets particularly dirty) because I don't want to do tons of washing up. It's wasteful (of water, energy, and soap) and time consuming. AND it bugs the hell out of me that I cannot even refill my GD cup before it's taken away and washed and set on the side of the blinking sink to dry.
- She keeps going on and on and on abt how hard it'll be having Moo and a new baby without DH being around all the time to help and how I MUST put Moo in nursery immediately and that vouchers will pay for everything and it'll make your life SO much easier because while Moo is away at nursery you'll be able to get so much done!!! A) I've explained a half a dozen times that I've already looked into nurseries for when we get home and I've looked into the vouchers. It seems very expensive, but if I find myself struggling with the new baby and Moo I will look into it more. B) because she's got my hackles up I've said I hardly think an hour or so on 2 days (using the voucher system) will make that much of a difference. C) -i've not said this as I don't want a row but honestly, I do not appreciate the hand wringing and suggestions and the impossible to answer 'what ifs' right now about how I will cope with Meg and the baby...it has made me nervous and anxious and tbh very scared that now I won't be able to cope with them if DH is away..
- Of course I've had to have trouble with my hips and pelvis again and so I seem all the more the invalid :( and she's going on and on about how I need to come home with Moo and let her and FIL take care of us since I'm obviously just not coping and that we need to rent a property up by them no matter what so she's near to help, when she's not helping SIL... I cannot say how many times I've said it's not practical or simple or ideal for me to be leaving Dh and that I've actually learned to cope well with the situation and I'm only having a little throw back (I've not been bad like this in ages tbh because I've been very careful -it's just that yesterday with the travel to the airport etc. and the walking all over Munich I obviously did a bit too much).
PLUS I've said a million and 2 times that DH and I cannot afford to rent yet another place (to which she said we should be renting out our home) I reminded her that we had looked into renting out the house, but it was rather complicated and not ideal for a short period of time, and it was expensive because of insurance, storing our goods, and the rent we got would also not cover the mortgage so in addition to the cost of those things we'd still be paying a healthy chunk of money which when added up actually was as much, if not more than just paying the mortgage. She would not accept this as truth. Even so she says that if Dh has to come back to Germany then I surely cannot come back here too as I'll have no support...to which I curtly replied if I was living in Cardiff by myself I'd still not have support AND I'd not have DH around in the evenings ever and I'd quickly go crazy. Not to mention be utterly miserable without him (as would he be without US). Which leads her back to saying you must come live up by us...
Heaven help me.
She's here until Monday and I feel/fear I'll be a terrible crying wreck by the time she leaves. It's like she's bring up everything negative and impossible and keeps shooting me with them...what if this and what if that and you must do this and you must do that and completely ignoring my answers and the logic I've applied. She keeps eating away at the careful foundations I've been trying to create to keep me happy and positive and deal with the situation here in Germany. I don't want to run around panicking like a headless chicken. I want to be able to deal with things as they come...but I'm feeling undermined.