Dec 2008 - Hello 2011 the Year of the Toddler!

[DeidreBarlow]

Totally unispired but hope you all find it...

Evening ladies. Crikey so much chat I've not kept up properly but you all sound quite cheerful, except of course Indiths dds finger and any cabbage within a 5 mile radius of Pubes house. I have to say I love cabbage, we have a big Chinese cabbage in the fridge which DH is using for stir fry yum.

I had a day off from the gym as DH was in the office so no childcare, but I didn't have any cake or croissants at the cafe. Hooray, I think I've finally kicked that habit, I'm sure there will be times I will eat cake but its does not seemed to be a given anymore that cafe means cake and coffee.

Took DS1 to the doctor and he has had quite a nasty virus recently, according to his very thorough examination. But he thinks for now if he has a strong cough medicine overnight until his cough settles that should sort him out. He thinks he has an overreactive response to sudden temperature changes so going indoors as well as outdoors, hence why its worse in winter because indoors and outdoors are very different temperatures. He thinks by stopping him coughing overnight it should reduce any trauma the cough is doing and hopefully settle it long-term, so we'll see. DS1 was chuffed as the doctor remarked on how clean his teeth are, bless him. We also bought a 500 piece puzzle on the way home, of a dog and cat, so he was excited about that too.

Indith 8/10 bloody hell, I'm jelly belly too, but more like 12/14, and tight in them.

I had something to say to Avo but can't remember what.

We have booked our week in the south of France at a lovely gite with a pool, and its near the town of condom, looking forward to buying postcards.

Lady I think the pill is only a problem if your very overweight. It increases your risk of heart and BP problems so if you take it when your obese and a smoker then your just sending your risk factors higher. Check with a doctor but I think you'd be fine, esp as this yasmin one sound great.

Oh gotta go dinners ready.

Oh that's right Avo, DS2 wakes up at around 5.30 am screaming and shouting out things like "mine, mine" or other random stuff. He usually settles back to sleep. I wish it would stop though as he sounds so distressed when he wakes.

That sounds and looks like bliss Vag. I'm thinking of crashing your holiday I'm tired of playing Travel Agent and having to talk people in to practically free flights. It's madness

Morning all - really need some advice

DD's moods are continuing and I don't know quite what to do. She's on a knife edge the whole time and the slightest thing (me turning a light on, or DH moving a pillow = this morning examples) sends her completely hysterical. Today she woke up shouting "I want cake! I want cake!" and shouted/screamed hysterically for 30 minutes before she would calm down enough to have milk. I don't know what to do - it's like she's really unhappy or something - it's what I would expect her reaction to be if, for example, we had a new baby or something in her life had totally changed - but nothing has changed! Nothing whatsoever.

Last night it took 90 minutes to calm her down enough to get her into bed. She just kicks off, starts wriggling onto the floor, won't let us cuddle her, doesn't want mummy milk, just yells and shouts. In the last few days she's thrown her soup all over the floor, emptied a bottle of calpol on it, hit me, hit DH....

Help!? What is going on!?

Kiwi, poor you. Can you see it building or is it just an all out immediate rage?

If it is an immediate rage I personally would leave her to get on with it. Make sure she is safe and cant hurt herself.

If you think it is about to kick off. Give her 2 options for something you think it may be about. IN our house things go ,ental over stuff like the colour of a cup, or what pants are going to be worn.

My DS's both have terrible tempers and I find sometimes using either of these methods works sometimes it doesnt.

DS1 this morning woke in a foul mood screeching as he came down the hall. We put his beaker of milk in his bedroom told him where it was and he screamed off back to his bedroom drank it then came back through all happy.

I also think at this age they begin to understand consequences in their behaviour. I know that DS2 defo knows when he is about to do something wrong and you can see his little mind whirling as to whether he should do it or not. SO he goes in time out. If for example he is cross and about to hit me I say. L if you hit mummy you are going in time out. SOmetimes he stops and sometimes he wallops me. He then goes in time out for 2 mins.

Does that help atall?? random ramblings.

Kiwi: that sounds very hard for you. Is it a control thing, do you think, or a sensory thing? If the former, Jam's idea is an excellent one. The latter is a bit trickier. DS1 is sensitive to all sorts of things, especially noise, and sometimes I have to step back and realise that he isn't being naughty, he's just a bit overloaded. He's older, so stopping, lowering my voice, lots of cuddles and quiet seems to help. He's also very sensitive to routine, so if things don't happen in the right order and by the right people he gets upset. DH is very similar, esp the noise sensitivity, so I reckon it's genetic rather than developmental. How is she at nursery? Do they have any tips?

Kiwi did she just change nursery classes, and also lose her friend who stayed in the old class? Maybe it is a control thing. It's sounds a bit hippy I know, but toddlers are very sensitive to feeling in or out of control of the world around them. We've found this very much the case with the boys as we have moved a lot in their short lives. Maybe the nursery move has really unsettled her. Hey and in other news, what does your DH think of the Sky sexist remark thing?

I went to the gym this morning and whilst there booked DS2 into a creche session next Tuesday. It will be the first time someone other than DH or I (or in one case my mum) has ever looked after him while he's awake. Hopefully it goes well. DH is away next week for 4 days and then we go away for the weekend so I would miss. Whole week if I didnt book him in. I'm sure he'll be fine, I'm just worried he'll kick off big time, have a bad experience and never want to go back.

Kiwi did she just change nursery classes, and also lose her friend who stayed in the old class? Maybe it is a control thing. It's sounds a bit hippy I know, but toddlers are very sensitive to feeling in or out of control of the world around them. We've found this very much the case with the boys as we have moved a lot in their short lives. Maybe the nursery move has really unsettled her. Hey and in other news, what does your DH think of the Sky sexist remark thing?

I went to the gym this morning and whilst there booked DS2 into a creche session next Tuesday. It will be the first time someone other than DH or I (or in one case my mum) has ever looked after him while he's awake. Hopefully it goes well. DH is away next week for 4 days and then we go away for the weekend so I would miss. Whole week if I didnt book him in. I'm sure he'll be fine, I'm just worried he'll kick off big time, have a bad experience and never want to go back.

Well that's strange, I've no idea why that posted twice.

Effie its funny you said about being fine about the wobbly bits (though must say I'm not sure I remember you looking like you had wobbly bits) I was looking at myself front on in the gym mirror the other day and I must say I like my curves. I used to be so flat and bony before and my weight so geared to being low so I could run and ride faster, I didn't think so much about how it looked. Now I feel so much more feminine, I actually have boobs and need to wear a bra. However, when I turn side on there is a curve that needs to go, I have a definite pot belly that must be moved. As long as I can get rid of it but keep my hips (maybe with a bit more tone) and boobs. I try to not look at my bum so really no idea what's going on back there.

Happy Burns Day, haggis all round. [bgrin]

Veggie no, we deliberately asked for her to stay in the same class with her best friend..!

I am not sure if it's sensory - it's very sudden, she can go from smiling to screaming in a second.. To things that normally don't bother her. She does seem better when we get some Calpol in her - could it just be massively painful and protracted teething pain? She still has loads to get...

Ps sorry for crap iPhone posting am at Heathrow picking up my jetsettjng parents as a surprise!

Kiwi, it could well be teeth. Teething makes them quite cranky, we used to give both boys pulsatilla 200c and it sorted there teething tempers almost immediately. I'd forgotten until you said about the calpol then, DS1 was such a calm little man but he would turn completely agro when teething and it was like magic giving him the pulsatilla, we also gave calpol but it takes ages to hit the pain completely so we'd calm him down a bit then he'd let us give him the calpol. I think his teeth hurt so much he would let us put the syringe in his mouth.

Veggie I will have to try that. The thing is she gets in such a state that it takes a while to calm her down enough to get anything in her ... DH and I are complete wrecks from lack of sleep and the stress of it, we feel like we are walking on eggshells all the time because the slightest thing can set her off. It's silly to expect a toddler to be rational, of course, but it's like she's particularly irrational now; she'll demand something (e.g. toast this morning) then go hysterical when you give it to her.

Kiwi that sounds so familiar, DS2 is so changeable, he'll ask for an Apple then go mental when we give him one. This what we have started pre empting with the reverse psychology. We get him the Apple then put it down near him and say, "don't eat that apple" which he then sees as a game and so avoids going mental. Though he is a boy, and they are easily amused.

I did try that a bit this morning and it worked to get her dressed, so I will have to do it for everything!

God I hope this passes soon. Before I actually do tear my hair out.

Yes kiwi you do, we literally preface everything we want DS2 to do with "DS2 don't .......". Surprisingly when we actually mean for him not to do something, like not run across the road he seems to know we actually mean it, not the opposite

just a very quick one to Kiwi, we found when dd was doing the "ask for something then go mental" thing, we would offer it to her oncem, then if she rejected it, say "Well I'll just put it on the table here, you can get it when you're ready" and usually she'd come back within a few seconds as she'd then taken control over when X or Y happened. Pain in the arse, yes, but fewer Noooooo!!! meltdowns.

Hi all, about to indulge in a me post, so apologies in advance and feel free to skip if you want to avoid any feeling of deja vu.

Well, DS2 has become a proper screamer, now day and night, am getting less than 3 hours (broken) sleep a night at the moment and it's really getting me down. Feel like I did this time 2 years ago when T was the same, except it's harder to lose the plot completely with a toddler around. DP has had to throw a sickie as I can't cope with one screaming the entire time, it's really upsetting for T hearing the scream and also for him to see me so tense.

The HV came round just now and she was actually quite good, wants me to see the GP in case it's something called pyloric stenosis, but suspects it's otherwise either colic or reflux. Either way, we should learn to live with a while lot more screaming.

We are already trying keeping him upright after feeds, using infacol, colief, dentinox, comfort forumla etc etc, swaddling, dummy - he even didn't respond to the hoover noise which i tried in desperation last night as it was the one thing guaranteed to calm T down.

He does seem to like a bath but can't keep him in one 24/7.

Any more tips very gladly received!

I'm just scared of spiralling into PND again, everything seems so familiar from last time.

Anyhoo also just wanted to say thanks v much to WG for the Bounds Green info.

And to Kiwi, I'm afraid I have no constructive advice on the toddler meltdowns as we're in it as well, but on the conceiving front, am v happy to bung a copy of my book in the post to you, it's not just for people going through fertility treatment but also those impatient to get PG. Totally won't be offended if you're not interested!

I am also dead keen to write another book, got plenty of ideas, and actually wanted to ask Lady whether you think it;s worth trying to get an agent for this type of non fiction book or just go for a better publisher next time. It's been 6 months and not a sniff of royalties and they're ignoring my requests to know what's going on.

How is it all going with DD2 JJ?

Kiwi, I think it's all about the control and independace thing (as JJ said) DS is exactly the same, and he is ten fold when teething (as Vag said) He's like a different person when no teeth coming through.
We used to have the meltdown from hell after naps until 3 days ago. The only change I made was I take the travel gate down so when he wakes from his nap he can come out and wander downstairs in his own time. Now he wakes up happy and smiling (fingers crossed hoping I haven't screwed that up by typing it) I'd get some of that stuff vagola suggests and let her make her feel like she's making all the decisions ie give her an option of two. ie: "would you like toast or cereal?" "Would you like pasta or fish fingers"? We even do it with his towel after baths as it distracts him from not wanting to get out etc " do you want this towel or this one"? But I just stick to 2 choices only. I also find getting him to "help me" with as many things as possible really makes a difference. Altho it's a pita and makes everything take longer. We have no meltdowns when I need to empty the dishwasher / feed the dog / do the washing / vacuum the floor etc. he even helps us light the fire by getting the wood. aside from all that, it won't last forever 9that's what I keep telling myself. I'm worried about the plane though as I hardly have the option of "would you like that seat or that seat"?

Speaking of which, has anyone ever used a babysitter provided by a hotel? if so what was the procedure and how did it go? Do you have the option of checking their credentials etc? Vag I'm guessing you're the pro here. Just wondering as we may have to, but the thing is they will be jetlagged, so no doubt awake, and neither of them has ever been left with strangers.... would it be a bad idea?

LadyT dd's birth cert came back today - is that about the time yours did? I sent it off last Thurs.

Vag - Glasses posted today. I couldn't find a case, and the PO near me is just one of those teeny ones and doesn't have any mailing boxes so have popped them in an empty light bulb box and bubble wrapped them hope they make it ok.

Oh spot lovely! I wish there was something practical I could do to help like take T off your hands for a few hours to give you some time to rest.

DS was never a great sleeper; do you swaddle him? I never tried it but I've heard it works for some?
Maybethe old white noise thing? My friend used to use a radio, and set it so it wasn't tuned iyswim...it was the only thing that would settle her LO. Hoping this improve quickly.

Kiwi No idea on tantrums. DS can be a monkey but on the whole no more than you would expect for a 2 yr old. If it is teeth have you tried Anbesol? Its like a liquid you dab on the gum but it also numbs the area so may work as a quick fix till the calpol kicks in.

Spot - x-ed with you - Gosh I can't believe how tough it's been for you I don't know what to suggest either as it sounds like you've tried everything. Does the swaddling help? If he wriggles out, I have one of those miracle blankets that they can't get out of (like a straight jacket ) which was brilliant for both mine, and can send it to you if you want to see if it helps? I'll have a think about other things to try....

Spot - don't underestimate the power of Waybaloo either.... both mine are mesmerized by it....

We already use a miracle blanket, but thanks v much for the offer. . Did you use it for naps, out of interest, or just the night?

DB, we tried the hoover white noise but maybe need to experiment with radio too!

Should stop feeling too sorry for self as he's not seriously ill and has put weight on, he's just v unhappy and it's horrible to see him in so much pain.

oh dear spot (I swear by that thing so you've got a really tough crowd) I used it only for at night as I wanted so signify the "long sleep time" but I know people who use it all times.... OK, hmmm I will keep thinking. You really need someone to take T for some time. i wish you lived closer

spot If you need a sizeable distraction forT I can recommend Toy Story 3.

Oh DS has just wee'd on the floor (no nappy about to go in bath). He was grunting at me about something (I didn't understand). He hasjust returned from the kitchen with a clean tea-towel 'drying himself'. Then handed me the tea-towel and said 'All done'. Bless he's a cutie!