FESH Spa & Creche - The Messiah is late - 'e's a very naughty boy!

[AlpinePony]

2010 - the best year of my life, for half of it I was pregnant and for the other half had my baybee.

Box fucking bank. I woud call the bank manager for a chat, and harp on about when having a long standing relationship with your bank meant something. Twats.

Must say going out for walk has revived my spirits as have had v v v v quiet week socially so me and HI strolled out. Was good for body and soul tho probably should not have had the Yorkie Bar and coffee whilst out!!! I am trying to get thinner not fatter!!

Sooooo what are the chances of me doing a workout DVD at home if I buy one??????

I need to open bank acc for MB - any reco's???

okie haz you been mixing with iggy aka BUMSEX!!!

Oh bollocks fucking arse. I'd like a bit less crap now. Racehorse has got really bad cellulitis in his leg. Bad as in, the vet says 'keep an eye on him in case he keels over.' He was fine last night - must have heard OH and me agreeing not to spend any money unnecessarily. It's an insurance job. Never claimed on horsey insurance - being paying through the nose for it for years though, so it's about time I got some back!

And today's cherry on the cake is TT is being monitored at pre-school for 'social issues.' She does not like to take part. Which is weird because at home she is the life and soul of the party.

So, combine all that with twatty bank and baby-who-does-not-sleep, and I'm a bit frazzled.

A la alp blardy hoss! Woss he done that for? My hoss had that last summer. Decided to have an elephant leg for a few days tho they said keep hoss out to aid circulation and blood flow. Am sure he'll come right and that insurance will cough up. BTW which vet do you use? SD&partners?

I think that you've had your bad luck run as that's three things gone tits up so your luck is on the up with immediate effect.

Need to go out and MB has gone sparko on my lap. Naff timing.

Well, OH has had polite convo with bank which went like this:
OH - Hello, fuckwits, my wife is an educated professional on good money and is reading the Equality Act 2010 as we speak. She's also thinking about calling the Financial Ombudsman and her mate who works for the Daily Mail and her other mate who is a TV consumer affairs reporter....
Bank - here's your cash. Have a nice extension!

Right. Just off to check horse isn't dead and then get deviant daughter from pre-school.

BTW I use McG and G vets at Hungerford. Luvverley blokes!

Yep - McG&G are the best vets evah!

Sorry to hear about the racehorse - just had to google is and sounds like the kind of thing BigHoss would've got wot with his bog-loving & accident tendencies.

Grrr at the pre-school - why is it so essential that kids fit into their idealistic stereotype ....makes my blood boil. They (diff pre-school) said something similar about my nephew and suggested he might even be autistic - really upset my sister. Turns out he is actually ver bright and didn't want to fraternise with the other kids. Take heart that you know better Box. Out of interest - what would be the outcome of this asssessment??? Are they going to force her into doing stuff??? All sounds a bit and pointless to me....

Maybe the games the other kids are playing just don't interest TT, maybe the other kids are excluding her..... Why are they not viewing the class as a whole entity ?

God I'm bored. The kids been asleep for 2 hours and I've done every scrap of washing in the house. Should I clean the bathroom, or just schlep round continuing to be bored.

You should come round to my place Cunty. There just aren't enough hours in the day here!

TT has had lovely day at school today after I told the teaching assistants that she likes to play hide and seek at home and that might get her to boss around engage with other children. LG is sleeping atm so I have an extension to build. Hoping to get it done before teatime, but suspect it may actually take till July. LG is definitely feeling better - we have sleep again! Hurray.

Don't get me wrong there's plenty to do but I simply can't be arsed

Who is having the sechs then? Poor MrP didn't even get sechs on his birthday this week. Don't worry, I am not witholding or anything - it was a mutual problem of complete and utter exhaustion.

I actually think I am suffering from exhaustion verging on PND. I am crying and exhausted all the time, and really struggling to feel competent and normal on a day-to-day basis.

My small glimmer of hope is that it is related to our current circumstances and WILL improve with a bit of sunshine / childcare / sleep / actual roof over our heads.

Update on the house situation: the bastard agent for the 1970s house went all weird and started adding ridiculous conditions. We got a very bad feeling and pulled out. Then we lost the other house too. That was a very dark day. We now have a rental application in on a lovely 3 bed semi with a huge garden in an area we hadn't previously considered, but looks great! All fingers and toes are crossed waiting for the nod. (Terrified and nervous though.)

In the mean time we are still struggling in the holiday cottage where the bed is too small, I have precisely 8 inches between my bedside and Clyde's cot, and everything is just a bit chaotic.

I think we would all cope a bit better if we were sleeping properly but it is now about as bad as it has ever been. Both children are now refusing to go to sleep in the evenings. Bonnie screams hysterically unless one of us lies in her bed and cuddles her! FFS, how did it get to this?

Clyde won't go down until 10pm or later, and then wakes at least 3 times a night for feeding and reawakes crying when I attempt to put him back in the cot! MrP ends up spending half the night on the sofa (ref. bed too small) and we are both like zombies during the day.

I know we have really messed things up with all the changes we have inflicted on the children in the last 3 months and we are terrified about how to get things back on track.

Sorry for the me me post but I have to get this stuff out there. It is useless pretending everything is lovely.

I know that other people cope with two children just fine, so I feel like a failure a lot of the time. I have taught MrP to congratulate me ecstatically each day when he gets home and I can report: 'Nobody got hurt; nobody died.' Believe me, I do actually count that as an achievement! I am thinking that having really basic, very low expectations for each day is the way to go.

As you were.

PS. box loving the fight with the bank. Idiots.

Goodness love you aren't a failure! Like you said ther has been a lot of upheaval and kids like order and routine. Once you get settled it will all return. Present circumstances are temporary so tick each hour off as being one less you have to endure. You're doing brilliantly - and FWIW I also rate everyone being alive at the end of the day as a significant, if undervalued, achievement

Thanks cunty.

And on the bright side I guess I do have the two most gorgeous, clever children in the universe. It's just a pity their mummy looks like a deranged bag lady at the moment.

Think yourself lucky, I look and feel like the Corpse Bride most days...

FP sorry to hear that you are having a shite time of it. I truly believe it will return to normality (whatever THAT is) once you get a bit more settled. I am having similar sleep issues with mini Oke to what you are with Bonnie. We are away at the moment and so much for giving me a break! He is up half the night and like you I am having to staying in his room or him in mine. Mr C is of course fine as he is still at home getting a solid 9 hours kip a night. However before we came away he was being a pickle too and I ended up having to leave him to cry a bit. I hate doing it but it it was kind of working. I (or Mr C) woud go in initially just to check he was OK (not covered in vom, not hanging from the cot) and if he was we would do a bit of controlled crying. It is not for all but I knew he was only attention seeking and we had to take a bit of a hard line.

You are doing brilliantly, having 2 with such a close age gap is hard (especailly on those days when you just get one to nap and the other wakes up and getting out of the house seems like more hassle than it is worth) but there are bad days and less bad days and the less bad days will hopefully become more frequent. Bonnie is still very young - still almost a baby herself and I am sure she is getting frustrated communicating like Mini Oke is. It will get better.

fanny Please, please don't be down on yourself. I'm sure all will improve once things settle down. It's a big move you are making, so it's bound to take its toll. Going to email you this evening to find out where you are exactly and see if I can help. If you honestly think you are verging on PND please see someone. I did and it was horrible at the time, but now I've been on anti-ds for six weeks and it has made a MASSIVE difference, particularly in terms of energy levels. I'm getting the rest of my health sorted too (think I would actually "win" the current bodily pain contest, but let's not go there) and things are coming together. But we have still only had sex just once in over a year and that was before I gave birth. You are doing an amazing job in a difficult situation. And landing back in this bloody freezing country probably isn't helping.

We visited a tiny baby today. She was under 5lb at birth and is still very dinky at 2 weeks old. Really made us see how much Squeaks has grown!

Fanny you are doing a fab job honestly. you are a wonderful mum, but you've just had a hell of a lot on your plate recently. Moving on its own would be a major upheaval for both kids, but going to the otherside of the world as well, it's bound to have disrupted them. When you get in the new place things will settle down.

Big hugs from me.

I need to somehow reset Artie's body clock. Thanks to him thinking 5am is appropriate waking time, he now things 5.30pm is bedtime. Arses.

curls glad you are feeling better, I was thinking of you the other day and meant to ask but sleep deprivation made me forget to.

God you are all so great.

Yay curls I would love to see you! I sincerely hope I can provide some support back your way too. I have just seen your email so I'll send one back (Clyde's sleep pattern allowing) tonight.

I am hopeful that it's not PND, as it seems so situation-specific. But when I mentally jot down all the stuff I've been through over the last 1-2 years (SPD x2, 2 babies, job legal shit, moving house, etc) it is no wonder things have hit me hard. That said, with the utmost determination and careful management we miraculously got both kids down by 8pm tonight, and it's amazing what a difference it makes!

MrP has been reading the baby books like crazy tonight to try to get our parenting back on track. He asked me if I wanted to get in touch with someone about how I'm feeling, but I hesitate as I have no GP or HV in the new location yet. I decided that if I feel I need to, I'll phone my old HV in Yorkshire as I'd rather talk to someone I know. My gut feeling is I can work my way out of this as long as I get enough sleep. So let's see how that goes...

cossie So you are getting 11.5 hours sleep out of him?

Thanks again for all the FESHly support. It is honestly making me feel than I am a good mum and I can do this. I know I appear to be finding this much harder than other people say they do, but I now suspect they are all lying cows.

fanny erm no He wakes every 3 hours in the early evening, then every 1.5/2 hours after about 1 or 2. And from 5 he chats a lot and then unsurprisingly needs a nap at 8.

you are right about the lying thing fo sho though. My stepmother was adamant her other gs was sleeping through. Turns out that he wakes but will go back to sleep when you put dummy back in and stroke his face. Anything that involves parental input is not sleepting through!

Why am I not in bed??? Artie went to bed at 6.15 and is still asleep. Now I am waiting for him to wake up, but I think I may just go to bed anyway.

Hello all, soz for radio silence. I haven't had 5 mins to myself in what seems like years. Sorry you are feeling crap Fanny. You are not crap. In any way. I am crap.

Whinge alert... feel free to skip to the bottom if you get bored.

I am really struggling. I know she is only two and half weeks old but since Sunday she has spent pretty much every day (bar Tuesday) feeding every two hours. Her feeds last at least an hour and are getting longer - I just don't seem to have the milk. This evening I started feeding her at 4.45pm, gave her both breasts and finished after 7pm. She hasn't settled since and TG is now giving her a bottle of formula. I was previously able to express around 4-5oz in the evening for TG to feed her while I got an early night. By last night it was down to 2oz and we had to top up with formula. This was a major upset for me as it is all too reminiscent of my attempt at feeding Boo (gave up after 4 weeks of pain, torture and v unhappy hungry child). I just feel like such a failure. On Sunday night I ordered fenugreek tablets off t'internet and the fuckers STILL haven't turned up. I tried the local health food shop but they don't stock them.

Does anyone have any tips? I am already massaging my breasts as I read that is supposed to stimulate milk production and I will take the fenugreek tabs as and when they arrive. What else can I do? I thought after a day or two of constant feeding my body would have upped its milk production but if anything it seems worse. I am drinking loads of water and eating plenty. I don't know what else to do.

She is now screeching at TG and won't take the bottle. Don't know if it is because I am in the room - usually I am in bed when he feeds her.

Sorry to be so me me me. Am just not coping very well. Poor Boo is feeling v neglected. Just as well my mum has been here for a few days - she is Boo's favourite new toy.

We are driving to Kent tomorrow (a journey of over 3 hrs) for a wedding on Saturday. I really don't want to go - the journey itself is going to be a nightmare. Thank god we are staying in a cottage in the grounds of the hotel, not the actual hotel itself - at least I will have somewhere to disappear to.

Pol I am not expert on milk supply and shiz but that feed length seems wrong (4.45 to 7). Any chance you can see a BF councellor who may be able to offer some wisdom. My HV told me in the early days that Peppa was feeding too frequently and was "snacking" but she was only feeding for abut 10 to 15 minutes. Is she just suckling? I am trying to put myslf in your shoes and I would try and get on a 3 hour feed cycle and use distraction or a dummy to stretch the cycle to 3 hrs so she is megga hungry when it comes to feed time. I would only feed on one boob each time and would only feed for an hour max (easier said than done I know). How is she sleeping? Is she sleeping between feeds? Are you misreading tired cries for hungry cries?

I know Alps had an issue with supply (but she is swanning around some ski resort) but I do know that it does affect some poeple despite what everyone says about your boby adjusting to meet demands of baby. I fyou could see a BF councellor then may be that would help.

hey all - just a quickie with additional apols for absence. am also dealing with babies who have forgotten how to sleep and general zombiness.

enough about that though - will come back for full update soon

just wanted to give some support to lovely pol.

to be honest pol that all sounds pretty normal to me from what i remember of the blur of the early days of establishing milk supply. i think it does take more than a couple of days though unfortunately.

read this:

kellymom fussy evenings

mine were like that - clustering from 5 or 6 till 10pm at night. it's exhausting but if you know it's normal it should stop you panicking and keep your confidence intact.

mine were sleeping a lot in the day though and feeding less than every 2 hours so prob best to see a BF councillor too like okie said. if the latch isn't right she won't be getting all she is sposed too.

also can you try a couple of days in bed together with lots of skin to skin and feeding whenever she wants it? apparently that works wonders ...

and blimey - can't you get out of the wedding? sounds like hell

big loves to FP too. was wondering how you were getting on - you are doing great!

polls has MW / HV checked for Tongue tie? Am sure they have but thought I would mention anyway. My first couple of weeks were shocking like yours, feeding and sleeping. Nights were the hardest. You deffo sure you are eating enough cos I started to cut out nice things in an attempt to be healthier and it had an effect on my supply! Everyone's different tho. Hope wedding is not too stressful for you. Don't feel bad if you don't stay as long as you want.

Hi fandango! The words bad mutha are banned from the Spa didn't ya know?? Cos tues has the crown and won't hand it over. No matter what you do! You are doing amazingly and like has been said once you have your own digs things will be more settled and everything will fall into place and you guys will be relaxed.

Just wanted to say that MB had a massive sleepathon last night aka the whole bloody night!!!! Think it was due to marathon social appts yday and an active bath totally knackering him out. Can't seeing it being repeated but its made a big diff to my state of mind today. No doubt we will go back to our usual routine tonight!

Pol, it's early days yet. At two and a half weeks you should still have people running round after you while you do NOTHING AT ALL and look after yourself and your baby. Involve Boo in the fun things - TT loves choosing what clothes LG is going to wear and getting all the nappy changing stuff out, and we also sat in bed all together and watched cartoons and read books together so TT didn't feel left out. It meant I could just sit there are feed LG. Someone else (nodding in the direction of your husband!) should be doing the laundry, cleaning, shopping etc.

I have a different outlook on most topics to Okie. This doesn't mean either one of us are more correct than the other, just that each of us have a way of parenting that works for us and are trying to be helpful. So without wishing to cause any ripples (although I will offer Okie a huge FESHly slap to make up for any hurt feelings) I would disagree with everything she says. DrSears often has very good advice on all things new-baby-related. He has some useful advice on how to use your baby to more efficiently stimulate your breasts into better milk production, and also highlights the fact that feeding at night (sorry!) is the best time for stimulating milk production as when you are relaxed or sleeping more of the milk production hormones are in circulation then. I have my reservations about expressing milk for husbands and OHs to give at bedtime as it seems to go against everything I learnt about BFing and the endocrine system. It seems reasonable to expect that milk production will struggle if you are attempting to not have to feed at the times when your milk production hormones are at their highest.

The human body is designed to make milk best at night. The daytime is far too precious to waste time sitting around and feeding a baby - there are berries to pick and mammoths to skin! So we are designed to sleep with our babies and feed them while we sleep. It is still possible to do this, but HVs and GPs don't like it as it doesn't fit into their box of 'how to do things.'

Obviously, if you go with the Gina Ford model you will be doing the exact opposite to this, but if it works, go for it!

In the meantime - just have a sit down and a bit of cake and get on with chilling with your kids!