FESH Spa & Creche - The Messiah is late - 'e's a very naughty boy!

[AlpinePony]

2010 - the best year of my life, for half of it I was pregnant and for the other half had my baybee.

'lo Iggy! Just for you..... BUMSEX.\ Sorry to hear about the sleep deprivation. I am only a week in and feeling wretched so gawd knows how you feel. How long does she sleep for at night? Does she nap in the day to make up for it?

Well after a really good night again BB fed about every two hours from 5am until about 3pm and refused to sleep apart from in little snatches and only on me. I am blardy exhausted and my nips really need time to recover now. Thankfully she is asleep in the moses basket now and Boo is distracted by cbeebies so I may shut my eyes for a bit.

Fanny we also have those tiredness comments. I wouldn't mind so much but he goes on and on and on about it, like that is going to do anything except piss me off. I don't understand why the fuck HE is so tired! He sleeps in the spare room, doesn't wake when BB does, he didn't even wake the other night when Boo had a nightmare (I turned the light on and kicked the mattress... no effin response) so I had to deal with her and then BB who woke up too for her next feed. I'm sure the house will be ace FP, especially once you have got all your own stuff in and made it homely. And if you really hate it you can always move again!

silv that is rubbish of your MIL.

Ah fanks poo is prob best I don't talk about sleep... She wakes up every hour every night at the mo... And has been doing every one r two hours since end of Nov... Before that she was rubbish, but we had better nights as well as terrible ones.. Last night, with one thing and another I ended up still awake at half two.. My sleep is buggered and I find it v hard to drop off for the 40 mins before she wakes again...

cunts also fanks x

And silver - I miss you lot too!

Wrt to the weaning thing, it must be pointed out that apparently 3 of the 4 people who did the study have ties to the baby food industry.

silv did you do nct or owt? reciprocal babysitting?

cozza yeah did NCT. They, I'm sure will be my salvation. Except when we all want to go out as a full group sans PFBs then me and HI are FUBAR'd.

I'm surprised at how shit it's made me feel. Tho as MB has spent best part of two hrs screaming I wonder how MIL would cope and the answer is she wouldn't and I wonder how she would handle that kind of situation, which worries me. So in some ways best not to involve her.

HI just walked in from work as I was attempting badly to console MB, to be told "I'm just getting changed and going for a run". Could I find a suitable object to hurl at his head ? Could I fuck! 'scuse the language but I am so angry at that!! Don't ask if I mind, dont ask how MY days been, don't ask how long MBs been crying, don't take the baby from me. Noooooooo! I mean he's only the bloody father who seems to think assisting in the conception and the occasional nappy change/bath makes him father of the year!!!!! He decided not to go for run following my reaction. NOT so he can take HI from me but cos if he does go running he can't bear the evening ahead cos I'll be pissed off and he'll know about it.

Fellow ESHs with other halves who are clearly NOT sleep deprived as we are - I FEEL YOUR PAIN!!!!!

As you were.

If it makes you feel any better, Hom does not involve himself in parenting of any description bar some ruff n tumble games just before bedtime (with the boy, not with me). Everything else he has to be asked to do. Except one night last week Rastus woke up whilst I was having a long bath and he went to settle him down. That's it. Nothing occurs to him, nothing is his responsibility, everything that happens to or with our child happens because of me. It smarts, it really does.

But then I'm the one who'll have the good relationship with Rastus in years to come, and Hom's relationship with him will be the same as his relationship with the other two kids. I.e. shit. It's a comfort of sorts.

Fanks Tues I'm raging! Not helped by some other ishoos going on that won't divulge on here and I need some support and advice from HI and I'm not getting any such thing and that's making me see red even more.

I am just glad we didn't have children when we first married and we waited and "lived" beforehand.

I feel like a bleeding single parent. It's not what I signed up for. Funny how they think working FT is enough parenting. GAH!!!!! I'd rather be on my own than living with someone who may as well not be here anyway!!!!!!!!!!!!

This will all blow over. Am in a FOUL mood. Not that you'd guess.

By working FT I mean providing financially iyswim, of course my ML money has no bearing on this in his eyes and is conviently forgotten.

Oh silv yes I know how you feel, I really do. But 6 months in I'm more zen about it. I have zero expectations of Hom and once I had got to that stage it started to become easier in a perverse way. He's never been different, he never will be different. I just try to make sure we do as many things together with him as we can at the weekend (walks, trips to B&Q, swimming) so that I'm not actually a single parent. Everything else I just do without fuss.

When I go back to work, now THAT's a different fish kettle....

silv you have my sympathies on the 2 hourly feeding. BB is still doing it, has been since 5am. I thought she was finally asleep and it was safe for me to catnap but no, it is like she has a sensor - as soon as my eyes close she squawks. She better bloody sleep longer tonight!* My nips are raw and my nerves are at breaking point. She is only 9 days old... does not bode well does it? Maybe this is why I hated the newborn bit first time round... I just hissed at TG to STFU as he has a voice like a friggin fog horn and has been playing rough and tumble with Boo - I'm not sure if it is his voice or her screeching but BB is now stirring. FFS.

I am going off him....

• Feel I should not complain in presence of Iggy - you have it vey bad. So sorry Iggy. I'm not surprised you find it difficult to drop off between feeds. Did summat happen in November to change her routine? Just wondering why she sleeps less now. Must be so bloody hard for you. Big smooches to you. Xxx

iggy I'm so sorry to hear you're still having bother - I honestly thought the reason you'd forsaken us was because you were having such a wonderful "perfect" time. :( Check in with us - that's what the power of ESH is all about. Meet up with the ESHes and they'll dab away your smudged mascara - and slip you speed under the table.

silv I think we've all been there where we've been a microsecond away from screaming "get the fuck out, take your shit and fuck off I don't need you". In fact, I think I did say it. Even the Zen which is rots has had "maritals".

polly When you kicked the mattress, had you actually missed his head which you were aiming for?

Cos of HIs business we don't even get regular evenings and weekends together. TBF I am used to it pre MB but find it much harder now.

It's the little things like putting MB to bed, eg the whole routine which takes fair amt of time and HI says "you go and settle him down" - double GAH! Anyways he's just taken MB up for his bath. No doubt he'll moan that I am on MN again when he comes down.

In a lot of other ways HI is fantastic and I genuinely think he just doesn't think. Eg the other morning he was holding MB and MB only had eyes and smiles for me and wouldn't even look at HI!! HI looked gutted so he does know that he can't always just do the fun stuff and be nbr one to MB.

Funny how even tho you know be a parent is hard you can never really know how hard and the effect on your relationship can be major, more than you thought possible.

Already makes me wonder that as much as I would love more baybees I'm not sure I could cope. Not without a bit more mental and practical support.

tues your posts have cheered me up. I iz not alone.

Ta to the other ESHs for kind words.

Unfortunately I couldn't reach his head without clambering across the bed first alps and as Boo was screaming her poor lungs out I thought I'd better get in there sharpish!

Silv I completely underestimated first time around how much of a strain a new baybee puts on relationship. Also, I'd mostly thought of TG as a bit of a 'new man' as he is vey emotional and open, but when it comes to baybees and housewifery he is just as chauvinistic clueless as the next bloke. Was such a disappointment! However, second time around he has taken a month off work and I am making sure I don't pick up a thing except BB. His job is house + Boo, and if I start to do anything he will slack off. Tis vey hard though as I look at the state of the kitchen, sigh and have to walk out again. Personally I want to pick up the dirty plates and fling them at his head - how hard is it to put them in a fucking dishwasher? Why can't he just do it at the time instead of saving them up? And I thought men were supposed to be logical... Anyway, don't worry about next baybee - I am finding it easier second time round. Tis still hard going, but I don't feel the anxiety I did first time around - I feel I have more of a clue this time. The learning curve is definitely much more gentle, honest.

so sorry for all these troubles being recorded here. And iggy it's lovely to see you in here. PLease lean on us if it helps.

I'm counting my blessings here. While there are many things SFF still needs nagged to do, he is improving, and is getting more and more helpful with Squeaks. And she adores him - to the extent that I sometimes feel a bit jealous or put out. He came home from work tonight and she chuckled away like she had NOT done all day. But yesterday he really touched me when he said he though I should definitely cut my hours to work a four-day week, because he knew how much it would hurt me that he would become the main carer and I would miss out. I pointed out that the pay cut will mean less cash for fun, but he told me that we have new priorities now. (I'm storing that one up for when he complains). I'm not wanting to gloat, just to say that the comparison has made me very thankful.

We are nearly there with the childcare!

And I am now in a new pair of comfy size 12 jeans and feel ace about that. I've lost a stone and a half since september. More would be nice, but I'll never again be the size 8 I was four years ago (when I would have thought a 12 was a horror rather than a delight - how times change).

My not very Hunter-gatherer husband is outside plucking/skinning his first pheasant. Is amusing. Funnily enough, dog wants to go out there too.

And for all my harping, Hom is in the downstairs shower-room painting and putting up wallpaper and tiles. Previous to this he had been trying to teach Rastus to crawl since he got in from work . We don't own a single stair gate, fireguard or dummy plug and in any case I'll be the one run ragged by a crawling tot not him to he can just butt the fuck out of parenting now.

Well done on the weight loss Casp!

Firstly massive congrats on the excellent weight loss gasp that is excellent. I would love to be the size 8 I was at 18 but too much booze and 2 kids means I will never ever get there again. I joke I have a muffin top on my muffin top (and in fact I do) however I am DETERMINED to loose 2 stone before I go back to work and your achievement has encouraged me. Well done.

Secondly, nice to see you back iggs but sorry you have sleep issues. All I can do is pose some questions to you so here goes:
How much day time sleep is she getting - too much?
Is she waking to feed?
Is it a waking to feed habit?
Is she still in your room?
Have you started weaning?
Plz to give more info so we can see if we can offer some advice.

Useless bloke issues - reading these makes me feel veh lucky. Mr C is really pretty good and does help out a lot. I have left him alone with one and two children quite a bit now and he realises how hard it can be. Cunts I am surprised you still offer the sechs every week as lack of help with Rastus would certainly make me withold..

Pol Peppa fed about every 1.5/2 hrs in the first weeks. It is hard on the nips but I hope you are just round the corner from 3 hourly feeds and more of a regular routine. Fuck the dishwasher for a bit or start barking some orders at TG.

Cos re the weaning debate I think that although there has been some link with formula companies they still state they are truly independant. It is my view that they have to research ALL sides to give a balanced view so I presume they have linked with pro BF groups too. I heard an interview with one of them this morning on the radio and she was very offended that it was suggested there was a relationship with formula co

Alps you make me laff.

Cunts what has come over him?

Well it won't be me if he doesn't buck the fuck up

Splutters wine over pooter

@Cunty

casp congrats, that is ace!

okes she has started waking to feed for the last few days and seems v hungry, she used to just wake non specifically tho, so feeding not habit, the waking is the habit I guess? Weaning started last weekend. Am trying her in own room tonight. Advice welcome, although sense of humour low, so apols for that... But every bugger is giving me advice and am slightly at end of tether with it, know you lot won't patronise tho..

iggy Advice? Close the door & put the baby monitor on the lowest volume. Pour glass of wine. Check baybee 50 times. Pour another glass of wine. Forget about baybee briefly.

Pick up put down method per baby whisperer? (the baby, not the wine glass)