September 2010: windy bums, weaning starts to loom!

[comixminx]

A starter for 10 on our Sept 2010 babies as their first Christmas comes nearer! Can't believe we're there already; I was barely pregnant last Xmas!

Saoirse - no you're not being unreasonable at all. Olly has only ever stayed out twice, both times at my mums. But I would not send him anywhere else overnight - not for a long long long time. There is no one other than DP and my mum that I would trust with him,

Cinnamon - yes he does have a dummy. Goes to bed with it and generally loses it at some point during the first couple of hours but that doesn't disturb him. Whatever time he wakes in the night I always try and settle him back down with his dummy first as I know that he isn't always hungry when he wakes. Say 6 times out of 10 he will go back down with dummy rather than me having to get up. He had to have a dummy from an early age as he just wanted to suck for comfort.

Just put him to bed and am hoping he stays asleep for a good while as am absolutley knackered from this illness and had nightmare night last night and day with him today. His teeth are majorly at him and if he is awake he is crying. He missed a nap today so hopefully will sleep for longer....please please please please please....!

Thanks all for nice comments. Just can't help feeling crappy sometimes I guess. Is fecking hard this mothering stuff.

Olly 13+5

chelle I hear ya!
Saoirse Both boys were almost a year or over before I let them overnight. Im supposed to go to a wedding in feb and have loads of offers but dont want to leave Phoebe with anyone. Everyone gives me loads of sensible reasons why I should be comfortable with it but its head and heart stuff. Cant explain why I feel the way I do its just the way it is. I couldnt relax or enjoy whatever it is if I were uneasy anyway. Its whatever you are comfortable with. (Pretty much a rule of thumb for parenting me thinks!) So what if they are put out, dont even let on you know and do your own thing. Sounds like you will have to get used to ignoring them!

Doctor today and typically Phoebe was back to flying form! 50e to be told she is coming thru it herself. Honestly my peace of mind has cost me a fortune in doctor fees over the past 4 years! Great to have my happy girly back tho! Now if only I was not in bed sick as a small hospital! Ugh! Fitting end to 2010.

happy new year guys!

saoirse dd was over 18 months before she stayed anywhere,with anyone,for any amount of time...let alone overnight!!

if you are'nt happy with it (i wouldnt be) then DONT!

beadit i do hope you are feeling better,how awful,you must have been terrified! (dont do that again babybeadit!)

Happy new year to all!

Saiorse, stick to your guns! You're not being unreasonable at all.

A refused to sleep earlier today, then crashed out on DPs shoulder at 9 so she slept through the remains of dinner and some quiet tv afterwards, but woke up when we transferred her to my shoulder; and then I went and called my parents (they would have called me if not) and she came totally awake! Trying to get her to calm down and sleep again now...

Happy new year! Luke is only just up now from 8 tonight, shame we didn't go to bed until 45mins ago.

Fingers crossed for your boiler bananastew!

I agree with others saoirse86 about doing what you're happy with but I also think you may be stressing about nothing over your reasons. I'm not suggesting you should do it anyway but that babies are often better when out and about and one night away is unlikely to make a huge difference, if that really is your only concern. It does sound like you are going to have to learn to ignore your in laws they sound like very intrusive parents. No advice about dummy as Luke doesn't have one.

Fingers crossed I get to sleep for a few hours straight now!!

Happy new year everyone! Arlo went to bed at 8 so we got to enjoy dinner and a film last night. Unfortunately either we or the neighbours' fireworks were a bit noisy and he was woke as we were going to bed at 1, so I fed him and was hoping he'd sleep for another 6 hours at least, but no, my lie-in was not to be - here I am at 5am! Have got a bit of the lurgy going round too - sore throat & cough - and really scared Arlo will get it. I never thought i'd be so soppy but the thought of him feeling ill like I do is horrible.

Am thinking of breaking out the breast pump we were given months ago and expressing some milk for first time, but not sure when is best to do this, and whether I should regularly give him a bottle of ebm to get him uses to it. Anyone who does this have advice? Was thinking late evening might be good as he is ( hopefully) sleeping longer, prevents my boobs getting too full overnight, bit will i end up arimulating more milk production andI become dependent on doing this every night then?

Arlo -- 12+5

Stimulating :)

Luke was up at 1.30, 4.30 and now

I express while he's sleeping usually dixiebell. I have more milk in the morning so better for me then. He has a bottle with my mum when we visit her which is usually once a week. I then express while she's feeding him. I think once your supply has settles down (after 8 weeks) you don't need to worry too much about over stimulation. I now have to pump at several times to make one feed though. He used to take 3oz but now drains 6oz, I don't worry too much as I'm there and if he complains too loudly I can just feed him myself but would probably leave more if I was away. I can get 4oz regularly but if he's skipped a feed and I can sometimes get the full 6oz but I do only do one side as I don't have the patience to wait for a second let down to do the other!!

Thanks everyone for your support. Well we took her to SIL's at 8ish and didn't get back to collect her till 1.30 (they said that'd be fine as they're normally still up then). Normally Orlaith would have had a little nap at 8 then gone to sleep at 10 and still be asleep at 1.30, but she'd actually only slept for about 45 mins and then an hour. They said she was so unsettled that they wrapped her in her blanket and took her upstairs to see if she'd calm down a bit. I think she definitely needs to be in a better routine before she stays anywhere. She was exhausted when we got home and fell straight to sleep in her cot.

Well I only had a half last night but feel like I've got a hangover today just from being tired from being up so late, how sad!!

chelle I hope you're feeling better soon.

mammyG I didn't realise you have to pay to see the doctor in Ireland. We're lucky I suppose that we can be as paranoid as we like with children as you don't pay anything until they're out of full time education, and then that's only for prescriptions. Maybe we have to pay more taxes to make up for it, not sure

I hope everyone had a good night, it sounds like all the festivities are disrupting the babies a bit. Hopefully it'll all settle down soon.

Happy new year!

The boilers fixed. We only had to go one night with no heating & it was probably the warmest night we've had for a month so we were fine!

Toby managed to stay up till 12.30!!! I couldn't believe it. He's only ever managed 9pm before! Olly struggled to settle & finally gave in in the sling at 11pm & I got very drunk & have spent the day feeling horrendous! If nothing else its reminded me why I don't miss drinking!

Happy new year everyone.

Am absolutely at the end of my tether....this child will not sleep! Dont know whats wrong with him - nothing has changed - absolutely nothing! I had 3 and a half hours sleep last night and 4 and a half the night before and tonight he won't even go to bloody bed! He went down fine at 8pm and has been up 4 times since then. Oh wait - now 5.....

Supposed to be sleeping in the spare room tonight and DP looking after him as am still poorly (cant shake illness because of lack of sleep!) and now feel horrendously guilty because he will have no sleep tonight now by the look of it. Plus I will be able to hear him anyway regardless of whether am in the room or not and will still prob get no sleep!

We give him capol and teething granules, feed him, change him, cuddle him....nothing works. I really don't know what to do. Have already been in tears most of the morning today because I'm that exhausted. Prob would have remained in tears all day if I wasn't so embarassed at being an emotional wreck with DP being here.

I'm sorry, I feel like all I do is winge at the minute. DP keeps telling me I can't get upset everytime he isn't behaving the way I want him too and I know thats true but I feel completely incompetant and crap and knackered.

Sorry guys, am gonna go away and shut up now. This must be my punishment for looking forward to him going to bed tonight so we could have some peace....foolish to hope!

Aww Chelle, it's ok to feel frustrated and upset. Have a look through the rest of this thread, we've all been there. Lack of sleep is hard at the best of times, especially when your not well. I know it's not practical at night but during the day can your DP take him out in the pram to get him to have some sleep? I sometimes have to walk Grace round the block for half an hour 3 times a day to get her to have good daytime naps otherwise the nights are hopeless. Also we sometimes park her pram under the extractor fan in the kitchen when she's asleep as it seems to help her sleep a bit longer.

I have read some awful threads on here about a four month sleep regression, apparently they have a massive growth spurt at 4 months and it really messes sleep etc up. He could be going through that.

But if you need to cry then have a cry, no one will hold it against you and it's better to let ur frustration out rather than bottle it up.

Also if your dp has offered to do the night time stuff tonight, maybe get some ear plugs or cotton wool in ur ears and try and get a good nights rest.

I hope you feel better soon.

chelle1986 I'm so sorry you're feeling like this!! Firstly you shouldn't feel bad about being upset in front of your dp, you're in it together and you should let him support and comfort you not hide how you feel from him. Lack of sleep is totally debilitating and it makes me a horrible person, really sad when I end up shouting at ds1. You are not crap!!! Babies cry, sometimes you can help sometimes you can't. Ds1 was terrible at napping in the day, I knew he was tired and persisted but some days I doubted myself and felt I didn't know my baby at all. I was lucky he slept well at night and although Luke is up regularly he feeds and goes straight back to sleep. Babies do get overtired very quickly and it's worth getting him to nap well during the day if you can. Being a mum is the hardest job in the world but tomorrow Olly will do something to remind you why it's also the best and it will all be worth it. Hope you are fast asleep right now and wake up feeling much better.

chelle, sorry to hear about sleeping nightmare. You should def get yr dp to take him out in the pram or car for a ling one tomoro and catch up on some sleep.

Arlo sleeping in his cot for the first time tonight as he's outgrown his Moses. Bit sad to see that decommissioned! Amusingly, we went to transfer the cot from Arlo's room into ours and it wouldn't fit through the door. So had to disassemble and rebuild if in our room, a lot harder to do with a baby wanting attention than the first time we set it up. Could have left it in nursery I suppose, but I'm not ready to move him out of our room yet - one step at a time! Anyway, he went down fine in his grobag, was hoping for a miracle 8 hour plus sleep, thinking perhaps having more space will mean he doesn't wake himself, but no, it's 1.30 and I'm up. Oh well, at least he's sleeping well, managed over 5 hours, I should have gone to bedcat 8 too! I fear another 5am waking though...it is good to have an evening to ourselves, but I miss the few occasions when he went to bed at 10.30 and slept through till 7!!

12 + 6

Only made it till 4. Pants.

Just up now dixiebell, first night for a few Luke has managed more than 4 hours in a row! We didn't both with a Moses basket so no worries with a transition but sounds like he's doing ok to me, must feel quite different!

dixie our moses basket was decommissioned ages ago because Orlaith's too nosey and wants to be able to see everything or she just screams!! I hope your nights get better.

chelle I really feel for you at the moment. If you're going to get better soon I think you're going to have to ask your DP for more help. Especially if he's going to be back at work tomorrow, today's the day you should be resting. And can you get DP to do the night feeds for a couple of nights too?

Well last night was so weird. DP and I had some ahem fun time planned. Orlaith's normally fast asleep by 10.30 at the absolute latest, earlier if I just put her down earlier. But not last night, oh no! She was WIDE awake and chatting to her mobile until midnight!!! It's not that sexy when your baby's in a cot next to you going "abrrrrr, abrrrr, abrrrrr, abrrrrr, abrrrrr....." for hours!

saoirse haha! Although I'm quite impressed you had it planned. Have to admit DH and I haven't even attempted it since the birth. And was quite a long time before that. There just never seems to be an appropriate moment! Particularly as you say, with a 3-month old in bed next to us. Feel a bit bad, anyone else have such a rubbish sex life?!

chelle you may have already found this,but if not,it might help you to vent!4 month sleep regression support thread

oh,and dixie try adding a 2.5yo to that equation im to frickin tired for sex ,i can barely muster the energy for kissing!

We also haven't attempted it since A's birth! DP is inhibited by her very presence in our room so we might have to wait until she moves into the nursery at about 6 months at this rate...

Hi all, thanks for support.

Well he finally went to sleep at 10pm last night, but then only until 1:30am and was then up pretty much all night again. I slept in the spare room from 1:30am but still got woken up by the stupid dog crying to go out at 3:30am.....grrr. Dogs home! I do feel a bit better today though - just a cough to get rid of now.

He is up in bed now - but god knows what kind of night we'll have tonight if the last two are anything to go by.

clumsy - thanks for thread will check it out.

soairse - sorry your plans got ruined! We've managed it a few times but are generally far too exhausted!

comix, glad I'm not the only one!

I've just reaslised that i found out i was pregnant exactly a year ago today and now i have a nearly 4 month old baby! Where the hell did the last year go? I can honestly say im a bit sorry to see that back of 2010, what an amazing year!

We have tried sex a few times, was scared shitless at first as i was very aware of how much pain id been in after grace was born with stiches etc even though it had healed by the time we first tried it i couldn't seem to relax but can quite happily say everything seems to be getting back to normal now! We normally just do it downstairs after Grace is in bed (wouldn't dream of doing it with her in the room, it just feels wrong) but i suppose thats not practical for those with other kids.

newmum and chelle i'm jealous of your sex lives!

The last time we had sex before Orlaith was born was when I was 19 weeks pg! DP felt really weird about it because when we tried she'd start kicking loads and he was too aware of her being in there.
Then we didn't have sex again until she was about 7 weeks. TBH that was a lot because of me bleeding so heavily for the first 4 weeks, then still being in pain after that and generally being tired.
Last night was only the second time since she was born but I'm hoping it'll be more regular now she's sleeping better. At least the way the cot is we can't see her and she can't see us or it might feel odd.
newmum I'd feel more awkward downstairs because the dog is always downstairs and she huffs when she sees or hears us having sex. It's really offputting!

clumsy and dixie I've often wondered how it works when you share a bed or even a room with the children. Apparently it doesn't!