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FESH Spa & Creche - Queue-jumpers accepted with open arms

1000 replies

AlpinePony · 11/11/2010 19:21

How exciting for a new thread - two FESHspring due shortly! Grin

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
SilverSky · 22/11/2010 12:01

Yay for possessive mummies. I was stomping round yesterday whilst MIL was pushing MB saying to HI "he's MY baybee". HI laughed til I burst into tears.

If nothing else my waterworks (eyes) are fully functional. Guess bawling is a emotional release.

cosavoand curls good to know i am not alone and also that noises are normal.

prinny once I get the ok I might just get in my car and keel driving!!!

AlpinePony · 22/11/2010 12:32

Cossie Excellent news about the sleeping!

Bear has taken to telling stories at 6am. He wakes up and babbles for an hour which has us in stitches as his stories are punctuated by little, tiny baby farts. Grin

silv Not being married I was unable to file for divorce but harsh words were exchanged. It gets easy when the baby is old enough for you to join forces and laugh at it! Wink

I've not been too bad at all with the posessive thing. I think the worst was when jb's mum & gran were over and I just felt they'd "stolen" my baby. :( I just wanted them to stop holding him and give him back to me - yet at the same time was utterly torn as they'd flown in... Confused Never had an issue letting jb hold him and don't mind if friends want a quick "go". Became very territorial about my house though and didn't like visitors. At. All.

Just because you all think I'm mad anyway - I am on my first 2WOOFL. :)

OP posts:
Cosmosis · 22/11/2010 12:58

yikes alps!! good luck Grin

I dont like it when some one else has been cuddling Artie and they give him back and he smells all wrong.

CluckyKate · 22/11/2010 13:26

The trouble with MILs is that they do it all wrong....everything - holding babies, cleaning, tidying, emptying the dishwasher, cooking....everything, even down to the ohsohelpful advice [ungrateful cah emoticon needed].

I also get v. territorial when the ILs come to stay and find them extremely intrusive - thankfully they live a couple of hours away and are too elderly to make the journey too often Grin

Tears is good Silv - always wins the argument for me so keep it up Wink

rollerbaby · 22/11/2010 14:51

MW and HV all been and gone today. He's 10lb 2oz from having lost 5oz after birth!! What a chubster. Relieved that he's put that back on and is gaining weight I have to say.

Had a good night last night - he slept from 7 til 10pm and then again from 11 until 2 and then til 5.30. Had some solid kip and feel more like myself for the first time since he was born. Although today has been a bit more all over the place so probably storing up trouble for later...

How was your night Silver?

SilverSky · 22/11/2010 15:31

He fed at 8, 11:45, 1:20 til 2:17!!!, 5, 6:55 and 9:30. He was pretty good and went back in his Moses between feeds without too much fuss so happy about that.

alp like you i have visitor phobia!

I didn't get to see nag yday as sat in car feeding MB so that was naff. HI did everything. I wanted to do stuff but couldn't. According to livery sharer iz finding it tough cos she is too shy to ask others for help tho others have offered. Also seems sharer's hubby is annoyed at the commitment and says they can never make plans. I'll call in a coupla days. CAn't Face it today.

I think I am losing weight! Or it's just redistributed itself to my tits!!

When did those of you bf start expressing? Have been invited to a wedding recEption in few weeks and I would like to go!

Cosmosis · 22/11/2010 15:38

I started at about 5 wks I think Silv.

SilverSky · 22/11/2010 16:33

Yo Boozers!

Herewith me birf story. Read at your peril!
------

In week 41 I had a MW appt for a potential Stretch and Sweep. MW advised that it was not poss to perform the S&S as VE confirms cervix is firmly closed. Do not pass go. Do not collect £200.

On Day 3 of week 41 ? I had a consultant appt at hossie. Dr AKA Poison Dward informs me I am being booked in for induction. They will not monitor me. Policy is 14 days late and the bubs must be out. We ask for another VE/S&S. Dr is complete madam with hand of jagged glass! Confirms cervix is still firmly closed. Locked down tighter than Alcatraz. Much confusion between me and HI as to next steps.

Day 5 of week 41 I had a third MW appt for Stretch and Sweep. Again MW advised that its not poss to perform as VE confirms cervix is firmly closed. Me and HI wonder if our dates are correct. MW informs me that at that moment in time that obs show myself and the baby are healthy. She cannot advise me on being induced as its my decision. I leave in tears as veh confuggled and dont know what to do. Decide to go to hossie and see what they say.

So we turn up to the hospital for a discussion about things but as far as they are concerned I am there to be induced and therefore that same evening I am subjected to another VE (that?s four so far in as many days) and again I am told that my cervix is very high up and very much not even thinking about birthing this child. In goes the ProPess. I found this very uncomfortable and using the loo was horrid as I could feel the urine running down the tag of the pessary on to my leg. So I quickly put on some underwear with a panty liner! I am also monitored throughout the evening and it seems I am already contracting but cannot feel them. My BP and MBs heartbeat is all good.

Next morning contractions start. I was getting them in my back. Not regular and not strong. I could still walk and talk fine. So when HI arrived we went for a walk round the hossie to see if we could give labour a helping hand. We walked past the postnatal ward to see this woman, her hubs and baby leaving. Well this woman could hardly walk and I mean hardly. She was hanging on to the wall. She spotted us and said in a very weak voice ?Its all worth it, it really is?. Well seeing her put the fear of god in to me.

That afternoon the contractions started to wear off. Once the pessary had been in 24hrs it was removed and that was the end of my contractions.

Next morning, another VE. Cervix still shut to visitors. I am administered the gel and was told I would be monitored for 8 hours but if no contractions start within the next 20 mins then chances are nothing would happen. Indeed nothing did happen. So another VE that evening and more monitoring and the Dr tells me I will be seen by a consultant the next morning.

Next morning Consultant pitches up and does another VE (yep, VE number 7) and I am told cervix still closed and that I am going to have to have a El CS that same day. I ask if I can have monitoring and I am told no. Its hospital policy all babies must not exceed 14 days overdue. This was about 11am and I was told no further food or drink and that all they could tell me was that I would be called to theatre at some point and they cant be more precise than that as the Labour ward is very very busy. So it?s a waiting game.

I had very very mixed emotions about the CS. I felt a fraud and a failure for not being able to go into labour naturally. HI reassured me I wasn?t and that I could have had a 30 odd hour labour and still have a CS which would be just as traumatic.

HI turns up at lunchtime and so we wait together. I try and sleep to pass the time and rest up. Not easy when you resemble the size of the Mary Celeste.

That afternoon a MW comes and takes bloods and puts in a canula ? blood everywhere! Useless woman. HI is told to take off my nail varnish which he does.

Eventually at 6pm we get taken to the labour ward and get deposited in a delivery room. The room has no bed. It does have a hard wooden rocking chair and a preggo ball. So HI and I keep switching seats as neither is comfortable for long.

A new Head MW comes on shift and to be blunt she is horrid. She is bloody rude to HI. If he asks a question, she tells me the answer! She wouldn?t look at him or acknowledge him except to bark orders about where to put my luggage and even then she tells him he is doing it all wrong!! She gets HI to prepare me! Eg shave my bikini line. I must have been to the loo twenty times thru nerves.

Finally over four and half hours later I finally go thru to theatre and by this time I am so thirsty, so tired, so anxious and basically a complete wreck as its 11pm and I should be sound a sleep as being a preggo is tiring work.

As soon as I sit on the bed to have my spinal I am in tears! The drucks lady is veh veh nice despite me being a pathetic patient and not relaxing and not doing things right but eventually I do chill out and the drucks are in. I then am told to wiggle round on the bed as I feel my bottom go hot (didn?t feel this and had visions of being one of these people who could feel everything but would not be able to tell anyone! Over active imaginiation?? Moi??? Surely not!!). Also the canula that had been put in earlier was useless and it was taken out and redone.

I then have to lean back flat on my back which as any heavily preggo knows is absolutely vile. Makes me feel very strange and vulnerable. They then tilt the bed to the left and to me it felt like a mahoosive tilt and I was like ?ooooohhhhhh? as tho I was on a rollercoaster! Hilarious. Then I began to feel sick.. Told HI to tell the nice drucks lady, so she gave me a bowl and wedged it under my ear. So I told her I had a phobia about vomming and she gave me a nice injection to take away the vommness and it did. She said she had the same phobia. HI said that immediately the colour came back in my face.

So about 10mins in HI says they are pushing my tum to get all the water out and then all of a sudden I could hear the baby cry. Which made me cry. More. HI went to discover what flavour we had. He came back and showed me the photos on his phone of the baby being wiped down and that we had a boy! We were chuffed but also in a quandry as we couldn?t decide on a name. The n MB was placed next to me but I couldn?t really see him. We didn?t get skin to skin and HI wasn?t allowed to cut the cord and they would permit the cord to stop pulsating before they cut it. Basically my entire wishlist was ignored.

I couldn?t believe MB was here finally. Couldn?t take my eyes off the bit of him I could see. Was desperate to look at him properly and to see what ?my baby? looked like. I couldn?t believe he was such a big un too! Its due to him being tall rather than a chunker.

HI then watched as they sewed me up layer by layer which took about 40mins. HI said it was strange seeing me on the table with my tummy being held wide open during the whole procedure and that it hit him then that it?s a major operation.

We got taken to the delivery room that we were initially waiting in and the MW came in and put MB on my breasts to feed him. Amazingly enough when he was all wrapped up after just being born he was smacking his lips and poking his tongue out so he was already hungry! The initial feeds were successful and once I was given the all clear I was taken to the post natal ward with MB.

HI eventually left at 3am and I was left all alone with MB.

My aftercare was shocking. Totally lacking. In short, cos I am sure you are bored of reading now! I was told off for not feeding MB, even though a MW told me not to worry as he had just been born and had been BF recently and would not need anything else for quite awhile. I was also told off for not drinking enough fluids. However, thats cos the staff when they came in to monitor me kept moving the tray table!!

The next incident was that I collapsed on the ward and nearly smacked my head on the floor luckily some random man caught me as I screamed HI?s name as I fell backwards. I had an upset stomach and the MWs ignored my pleas that I needed the loo. They insisted it was wind. I said it wasn?t. Cos they were faffing around and didn?t sort out my catheter bag quick enough I was tied to the bed and in the end that?s where I went to the loo. It seems I either picked up a bug or reacted to something. Anyways the lovely MWs (not) took me to the loo and left me there to clean myself up. Yep. Half paralysed from the boobs down, lightheaded from my collapse, in agony from the surgery and I am left to tidy myself up. Totally humiliating, I have never cried so much in the space of two days!!!

I was left in the dirty support stockings for over 4hrs despite HI asking SEVERAL times for clean ones as they really weren?t nice. Made me feel ill and made me paranoid as I was on a busy ward and I was so conscious of the other mothers and the mess I had gotten into.

In the end HI asked a staff nurse who literally went to the cupboard opposite my bed and handed him clean ones to put on me. We wanted to scream!

HI spent the first day changing MB as I couldn?t do a thing. I was in such a state.
Later that day I was moved to a private room which was nice tho I was still in a lot of pain and was finding it hard to see to MB. Getting out of bed was a bit of a task and don?t ask me how I managed it, esp as I still had my yellow handbag to work around.

So the next evening I couldn?t take any more and asked for some painkillers. Again long story short, I ended up bed ridden due to the pain and couldn?t even move out of my position due to the agony. The MW and Dr came in to see me and profusely apologise as they had just seen in my notes that I had not had any pain relief for 36hrs when I should have been having pain relief every 6 hours without fail. Can you believe it? I bloody couldn?t. HI and I were furious and it wasn?t til the next day that the pain relief finally kicked in and began to work.

I?ll call my birf story quits here as you are all probably bored and MB is about to wake up!!!!!!!

Medee · 22/11/2010 17:39

Jeez, Silver, you deserve a medal. I hope you are going to C+P that into a letter to the hospital, cos they bloody need to know what happened.

SilverSky · 22/11/2010 19:00

My HV has mentioned a debrief with the hospital at some point in the near future. At the moment she wants me to focus on me and MB.

Sad thing is that the hossie prob wont care.

AlpinePony · 22/11/2010 19:20

That is shocking silv, I know you told me what was going on at the time - but to see it all in black & white like that, it's just horrendous. :( I think as medee says, you need to make a formal complaint - there's an official body you can complain to I think, maybe cossie has some advice? I know nurses & midwives are overworked and underpaid etc., etc., but that's shocking - they've missed basic tasks! Angry

OP posts:
CluckyKate · 22/11/2010 20:07

Blimey Silv - that really is appalling Angry...bet it was a huge relief to get out of there. That is one stubborn cervix you have there too but good to hear MB's exit into the world went well, even if the rest of it was fecking awful.

PrincessBoo · 22/11/2010 20:42

Wankers Silv , total bloody wankers. I am so bloody Angry reading that. Having had a c-section too I know how much we (I was in a room with 3 other women who also had had sections) looked forward to the drug trolley coming round in the first day or so. I can't imagine how much pain you must have been in. Huge massive unmumsnettybutidon'tcare hugs, you brave lady. And yes, write a letter of complaint. I know midwives are stretched but that kind of thing takes the fecking biscuit.

OkieCokie · 22/11/2010 21:41

Sorry for lack of contact but have had ishoos with t'internet and just got back online. Firstly Moo I am so proud of you! That really is amazing that you did it all by yourself! I am so sorry for the loss of blood though (it brings back memories and I can understand what you went through!) and the problems mini moo had aftern. I am pleased mini moo is gaining weight and you are settling into home/family life - just remember to take one day at a time and just take it really easy! I look forward to a catch up soon when you feel up to it. I can come round with cake if you like and promise not to stay too long.

Silv wow. I hope that like moo putting it all down in writing has helped. What an ordeal you went through. It is sometimes good to talk about it to people. You are really in the recovery period so go easy on yourself and try not to be superman. I think a debrief is worth going through. I requested my notes from the hospital and I really found this helped offer me some closure - admitedly it wasn't until 18 months after the birth did I do this though.

All is OK here. She is a little poppet and likes getting her kips in. She does grunt a lot though so I will name her Peppa (as in Peppa Pig). We have got a couple of ishoos with an eye infection and a bit of oral thrush (her not me) but apart from that we are doing ok. Mr C is still on pat leave and his first day back to work I will be flying solo with both kids so I am not really looking forward to that but I reckon we will just try and get out of the house and do something weather permitting!

Birf story to follow when I have a bit more time.

Backinthebox · 22/11/2010 23:13

Silver I would add to the advice to write a letter of complaint. I have had a lot of people tell me I should have written a letter after the birth of TT, but I was exhausted and not sure what was normal, and I didn't - I feel it's a bit late now, but even as recently as last week I have had a member of staff at the hospital TT was born in tell me to complain still! Do it now, while the details are fresh in your mind. You can possibly see why I splurged huge amounts on an IM now? Even if I had a CS again, I would have had someone on MY side, to give me advice and hold my hand, and get me the fuck out of there asap!

On the positive side you have your baby, and just let me say this - you do not get marks out of ten for the way you give birth. Believe me, a last minute planned CS after a unsuccessful induction is STILL less bad than many other things which could have happened. The trick is not to dwell on it and adopt the attitude that that which does not kill you makes you stronger! Use what has happened to make yourself feel capable of anything if you can get through that - it's a much more useful way of dealing with a poor experience than allowing it to eat away at you. (An example from my experience - I had my spinal block wear off part way through a prolonged and complicated CS with TT, and thought 'what could possibly be harder than that?' when it came to having LG. Using the thoughts of what I had got through meant that nothing touched me second time round.)

But write that letter, both to get your own thoughts in order and to save someone else from experiencing the mistakes made with you. And well done!

CurlyCasper · 23/11/2010 07:33

silv I think the others have pretty much said it all, but I just had to shout BASTARDS! somewhere after reading of your ordeal. And congratulate you for coming through with your sanity intact. Contact the Patient Advice and Liaison Service (PALS) for your hospital/health trust.

I had planned to make a complaint about a couple of small things as soon as I was out of hospital, but never did. But then, what I experienced was nothing compared to the poor treatment you received. I have read and heard of so many horror stories this week (met up with friends who all have children back at home) that I now consider myself truly fortunate. But bad things should not have to happen to people like you to make me feel that way.

We are so emotionally vulnerable when giving birth - there really is no excuse for maltreatment.

Well done - please get some rest and continue to enjoy your baby. You went through so much to get him, you have every right to hold him tight and not let the MIL anywhere near.

Hope the feed/sleep situation is improving too.

Despite having a lovely time in terms of the activities I did and people I saw while away, I have been having Squeaker difficulties. Between teething/sleep regression/other illness, we've both been feeling pretty miserable and knackered. She's quite bright this morning though, so here's hoping we have turned a corner.

Cosmosis · 23/11/2010 09:02

Oh silv that sounds horrendous :( definitely make a complaint.

Cosmosis · 23/11/2010 09:17

frigging hell Artie just had massive strop & the only thing that would calm him down was to give him al the milk i'd just expressed. little shit.

AlpinePony · 23/11/2010 09:37

Manipulative little shit I think there cossie! Wink

Okie I am loving "Peppa" - and it's good to have you back and brilliant to hear everything is going well.

We seem to be in to a new sleeping routine which is working out better. He's now fed at 5-6am and then popped back in to bed where he's quite happy to stay until around 9ish which is working out better than sleeping until 7:30 and then desperately staying awake.

silv Whilst boxer says nobody gets a medal for giving birth, I think you should have one - so I'd like to pin this medal (fruit shoot embossed MN logo) to your cervix. It shouldn't fall out of a good solid item like that.

OP posts:
Ariesgirl · 23/11/2010 10:37

Am with Alps on the awarding of the medal Silver. I paled and swore reading that, you poor thing. If you can't face writing out in a letter, well you already have done so use what you posted here (more or less). Fucking hell!

On the plus side, congrats on becoming parents!

Headbanger · 23/11/2010 11:36

Oh Silver. I am cold all over from having read your tale. Many, many congratulations on your lovely little one, but I am so sorry that you had such a filthy time. Why the hell would anyone become a MW if they didn't have basic human compassion? I don't get it. Totally agree with A & A on the medal front.

PollyPoo · 23/11/2010 11:57

Jeez Silv I can't believe what you went through. I also just want to shout BASTARDS! Sad I am so glad you are at home now, I bet you couldn't wait to be discharged. Nothing to say that hasn't been said already, but I defo think you should complain, if only to save someone else the agony that you went through. Plus hopefully you might find it a cathartic experience. Would also like to echo others and say the important thing is not to focus too much on the manner of the birth, but on MB being here and gorgeous and wonderful. Smile

nice to see you back and your little girl is adorable!

OkieCokie · 23/11/2010 15:49

Box where did you get your Babyhawk from? I saw them here but just wondering if this is the genuine article?? Looks like it to me. WDYT?

Muser · 23/11/2010 19:47

Silv I agree with everyone else. Complain. Complain big time. Utter bastards. If not for you, complain so hopefully the next person along might get better treatment. But mostly complain for you, because they treated you appallingly.

Backinthebox · 23/11/2010 23:23

Okie they look like the real thing. I got mine direct from Babyhawk. I now own 3 Blush but LG does like them, and so does OH. I like the ones with the minkee lining best 2 of mine have minkee. I could waste hours designing my next Babyhawk! The link you posted has them at $80 for their colours and patterns, but for the same price you could pick your own. My latest one took 4 weeks to arrive, so if you are not in a rush I'd design my own. If you want one quick sharp, then I'd buy one from a UK seller or borrow one from a sling library.

I just have to point out, btw, I didn't say she shouldn't have a medal - EVERYONE should have a medal, although a baby as a prize is nicer! I said noone gets marked for the way they give birth. Wink Meant as a comfort for Silver so she doesn't think she ought to feel miserable about the whole palaver. Just felt the need to say that!

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