December 2008: because i unwittingly finished the old thread

[waitinggirl]

oops. sorry. didn't realise i was post 1000. hope people find this...

Lady, funny you should say that about the Pinky ponk. DS has always been fine with it, then on tonights episode he got really scared of the PP and ra upstairs looking really distressed. I had to put a previously recorded NN episode on to be fair they were all riding in it and it was out of control and they were all falling from one end to the other

If I had your number AVO I would have called I did say to DH one of my MN friends lives round here. We too some some beautiful art deco chairs and a rather gorgeous grey low chair which would have looked divine in our bedroom oh and some fab wooden storage crates and loads and loads more. Thank god DS2 was his delightful screamy self otherwise it could have made a huge dent on our pockets. Very pleased with our purchase looks great next to our dresser. It is a little soggy though as we couldnt close the boot so it got rained on.

Veg what a horrible spiteful woman.

Hi all. I;m afraid I have been rubbish at getting on lately and I am too tired to attempt a full catch up - but did notice the new job PD, and new houses (maybe) Spot and Avo congrats to all.

Had an unexpectedly long weekend with the DCs - DH was meant to be looking after them as nanny on hols, but on Weds evening he decided he was too ill to cope with them so I ended up with an unplanned day at home. The plan had been to then go to deepest darkest Lincolnshire for a wedding on Fri, which we ummed about as DH wasn't sure he was fit to drive us there, but we did go and it was lovely. It is funny seeing old friends - I did feel like I'd been thrown back about 10 years, but bizarrely everyone had children. Anyway, just as well as I am off travelling to France for work for much of this week, so feel better for having spent time at home. DS is being particularly sweet at the moment - his words are really coming along and it is fantastic fun. Lots of "look mummy", while he gets up to mischief.

Its all been pretty cheering, especially as the world around has seemed a bit grim. Not sure why, but the spending review had me unaccountably depressed, maybe because I have been talking to too many civil servants in the midst of organising mass redundancies. Can't complain on my own account - new job settling down nicely and all seems reasonably well.

Morning all, had a really nice night in Cambridge (though a little disappointed with hotel and restaurant - when you throw a bunch of money at an experience you want it to be really good and both were a little underwhelming) - just good to know we were guaranteed a night without interruptions, even if I did get up for the day at 6.45!

When we got back last night T had the shakes and a fever and I thought bloody hell he's ill again (plus another day of turning down work, off nursery, etc), but some heavy duty drugs in the night seem to have helped and he's just a bit snotty this morning.

Glad the wedding was good, Invis, and am v of your trip to France this week. Whereabouts will you be?

Like the chair, Jam, v nice.

How is Wagner still in that competition? A bloody travesty...

Hello peeps,

I'm just nipping on to say thanks to mom! The dress has arrived and fits beautifully. A little roomy in the bust but I think if I get a better bra I'm sorted.

Hurrah!

Back later.

Hello, ladies!! Subs told me you had been asking after me so I took a quick peek on here. Hope you don't mind! It was soooooooooooo lovely to see her, although DD1 got a bit grumpy in the marketplace (as one does). I saw a post on here that someone noticed my facebook debacle. I am worried you might think I deleted you deliberately, which isn't quite what happened! I tried to commit facebook suicide as I thoug it was taking up too much of my time and was preventing me actually SEEING people. But then after a few weeks I realized I couldn't live without it (doh) and set up a new account and started having to add everyone again. Please don't be offended! I am just the same numpty as ever you see.

Have to report that sybs is in fine form. Mega- healthy and fit and looking fab!!

Congratulations to all those with new additions (or not so new) since I was last on here!

Apols for any typos etc am doing this on mobile thingy.
Lots of love
Verso
Xxx

Sybs obviously. Damn technology spellcheck thing!! X

I am allergic to the X Factor and Strictly, so will maintain a discreet silence. I am watching Masterchef though. Proper chefs and Michel Roux Jnr. DH and I are finally watching the first series of Mad Men - very very good but a bit depressing.

The boys are such a joy at the moment - we got DS1 a scooter for his birthday (thanks for all the recommendations) and we can easily spend an afternoon in the park, with DS1 zooming about and DS2 picking up leaves 'Ook! Lee!' and staring out squirrels. Then home for CBeebies and Mummy contorting herself in the yoga bit of Waybuloo with DS1 ( is it me or is it really hard?). I love this time of year and work is seeming less and less appealing.

Glad you had a nice time in Cam, Spot. And great to hear from Invis - good news about the job going well.

Quick hello here from Lymington to prove it hasn't dropped into the Solent! Sorry I haven't been on for ages been wrapped up in Relate etc which is going well and I have become totally obsessed with Thomas and Friends Wooden Railway on Ebay (for DS's b'day and, due to obsession, will probably be Christmas present as well).

Congratulations on the job, PD.

Hello, Verso, nice to see you.

Spot, hope T recovers from his cold.

That was fast Jolly! Glad it fits - just get a booster bra and you should be good. Sadly my AAs had no hope of being boosted enough to make it fit.

Afternoon all

I am feeling a lot more well disposed towards DP, we had a small chat about things yesterday and he admitted he was just really tired. We both are, and it doesn't help. I mean, we are very different and unfortunately there are always going to be friction points as a result of this, but - feeling better about it all, anyway.

Saturday was nice but so gruelling. DP enjoyed his Aston Martin racing thing and then we had lunch with Dad and my Stepmum. It was lovely but I was alarmed that he seemed so thin and a bit frail I mean he has always been thin, but this pre-osteoparosis thing he has is such a worry and he is still in pain from the cracked vertebrae he had at Easter.

Then on to Brum to meet my Mum nad her DP for ITNG. DD1 absolutely RAN towards my Mum with a look of absolutely joy, screaming "Nanny! Nanny!" It was such an amazing welcome and I will never forget it. ITNG was...well, given the rave reviews on the website, a bit disappointing. I mean, it was only ever going to be brightly coloured simpletons bimbling about on a stage, but the staging was slightly disappointing and there was even less story than usual. It didn't matter to the toddler crowd, who greeted each character's appearance with hysterical cheers. It was like being at Grateful Dead gig, circa 1969. Anyway, DD1 enjoyed it but no cheering from her, as she was clearly at Glyndebourne in her mind. She had a look of intense concentration throughout, coupled with some polite clapping .

It was only me working at the house yesterday as DP is drowning in trial prep, but I only had DD2 with me who was quiet, and it was 4 lovely hours of listening to a great 80s music radio station I have found, whilst working very gently. It was quite a tonic!

Rubes, how are the colds today? I missed Strictly this week, who went out? I only watch X Factor intermittently at this stage. I prefer to wait until it's been whittled down a bit, the shows are too long for me.

Talking of telly, I enjoyed the first series of Mad Men which I saw most of, but never caught up with the rest. Keep meaning to order the box set. We watch Masterchef as well. DP loves it and I am not that keen but I get sucked in. But that goon of a judge drives me nuts. He is like Zippy, but without the charisma.

DB, oh heavens, your poor Nan. How are things today? Oh, I didn't know your DH did that. I am always hugely interested to hear tales of prison from DP, but as you know, The Shawshank Redemption it ain't

Hello Nolda, I was wondering where you were! So is the Relate stuff helping yet? I know it can be a long process.

Hi Verso. How is it going? Still thinking of ttc DC3?

Hope you can have some fun on your worky trip, Invis, and v glad to hear the new job is settling. It's funny you mention civil servants and the spending review. Was wondering how it had affected our Urbane, as I think her area has suffered deep cuts. Avo, you are ok, aren't you?

Spot, I am so glad you had a decent break. How is T? And Sybs, are your illies recovered?

Was enjoying your furniture shopping vicariously, Jam! And talking about vicarious enjoyment of other people's shopping experiences, how does the thinking lie with the house shopping now, Veg?

Made the mistake of looking at some photos of me from 2006. I looked thin and rather glam It wasn't THAT long ago. Right, cottage cheese and carrot sticks for lunch.

Hey all

I am totally overwhelmed by how many messages there are and I can't DREAM of catching up on all the chat. I'm so sorry. Honestly, have been so proud of how I've kept on top of it all and I have one weekend off and look what happens!

Lady - so glad you're feeling better.

DB - I hope your Nan and Grandpa are ok.

Peter and Erin are out of Strictly. I am relieved as Erin is the same age as me and her figure is so much better than mine - ha! I am rooting for Ann Widdecombe all the way!

DD1 has a new habit of sitting in her bed shouting "Come! Come!" imperiously. She was saying Come here, but has shortened it. Little evilton.

Had lovely weekend with friends and am suitably tired now! Both DDs slept til 7.30 this morning, but on Saturday and Sunday they were up at 6.30 - why does it always happen on a weekend??! Grrr. Never mind. DH lay in bed while I dealt with them. Lovely me. Then at 7.30, we all converged on the bed and attacked him. Was v good fun.

My friend, who is a little bit overweight, like me, after 2 kids, came for lunch yesterday. She is looking amazing and is under 11 stone. I am so jealous. She was wearing a really nice pair of jeggings from Gap. Usually I hate them, but they looked ace on her and she had her boots zipped up over them. I am v tempted to get myself a pair as they weren't utterly repulsive and actually v flattering. Is this an error?

Right, am off to watch Jeremy Kyle while I have a bit of time off and the weenies are kipping!

BEans jeggings are always an error. Don't get seduced by how lovely your friend looks in them, she'd probably look good in plenty of other things. Resist!

Feeling a bit guilty about shipping T off to nursery as he's def not 100% (not temp or anything else, just a bad cough and cold) but I have work to do and will lose the income if I don't do it.

Lady, glad the air's cleared a bit with DP and you've survived the weekend. You can watch the latest series of Mad Men on iplayer, the last episode was amazing. Sorry to hear ITNG was a bit underwhelming. Glad DD1 enjoyed it though, did she get the polite clapping from having watched a lot of cricket?

Wish I could watch JK, BEans. DP is on lunch break and we are watching Simon Schama on Yesterday

Why do I write your name like that Beans? Weird...

Lady - Glad to hear you and DP have made up and you are feeling better about it. about your poor dad.

Beans - I laughed so much at Ann Widdecombe flying down, she is certainly a good sport!

Relate is going really well. DH has been getting into it and it has been quite scary to find out how truley crap our relationship has been post-children. Frustratingly, we have been let down by our babysitter for tomorrow's session (my mum, grr) and as MIL is on holiday for 3 weeks we won't be able to go until she is back.

Effie I'm a big masterchef prof fan. Not into the amatuer one though. I think I like the lady with the quite heavy step at the moment. I think she strikes a cord with me. She's gotten out of doing what she loves wants to get back in and is def creative. I also love the show as I always feel I should have been a chef. My mum wouldn't let me leave school to get an apprenticeship because she wanted me to go to uni.

Sorry ITNG was a bit flat lady, but glad DD1 found it seemingly a pleasant experience :o . We are looking at 3 houses tomorrow, one I have high hopes for. We'll see. Unfortunately, DH has to race off to Luxembourg just afterwards for a conference so won't get much time to chat about them with our estate agent. But things don't seem to move fast here and its only just on the market.

Spot, so do you think things are a lottery better between you and DP, or did you just manage lots of sleep.

I've had a chat to a close friend whose DS is a litter over a year old and we are thinking of having a little girlie weekend in Paris. But prob won't be until Jan. But will be something to look forward to.

Sleep wise last night was a bad one. However, have discovered why things aren't going so well. The night before DH was awoken by me talking very lucidly to DS3 in my sleep and then feeding him. Apparently twice. So no wonder the poor guy thinks he can still get milk. Might have to go to bed in a sports bra. He sleeps in his cot bed but its next to ours so I can reach him.

Hello, the little people are napping, but ds has been down for 2 hours now so any minute....

ds had an awful night and was up crying with teeth (I assume) at 230 and 4 and dh went in to him and fell asleep in his bed!but ds just howled at the gate so then I was awake! I went in and he had pulled everything out of his wardrobe and parked it on his bed. Odd child. Hi routine protest at nap time today was funny. Opened the door, yelled out "No" and straight away closed the door and went back to bed!

Lady glad you had a nice time. I couldn't believe how ds freaked out at the PP last night - he was so scared.

How on earth is Ann still in strictly? I'm not so keen on her... but she IS entertaining...

And X Factor and the girl band survived - wow
Matt to win for sure.

Just found out the kiddie party at the weekend is going to mean some of the kids dressing up for Halloween (not all it sounds) but eek how do I find something short notice. I seem to remember Baby Gap do Halloween stuff don't they?

Yesterday dd barely napped and then wouldn't settle until 10pm - slept till 430 but usually after that feed waked for a feed at 7ish then wants to sleep till 10 and does so solidly but I wondered today if that's keeping her up later in the evening so she got kept awake after her 7am feed today, and yet again we shall see....

Good news on relate Nolda

Oh never mind my friend has just text and said she will get him something Halloween-y to wear for his birthday! But she must be confused as his birthday not till Dec

Beans Jeggins - I don't really mind them to be honest (with long boots rather than flats though but what I really can't stand is why they are called that? Aren't they just denim ish leggins? we need Kiwi.... what was she wearing with them?

I don't really like Jeremy Kyle, I try to avoid him wherever poss. It's not the poor sods that are on there, it's him, he is so blinkin' odious.

Oh Beans, the dancers' figures are a massive downer for me, I must say. Mind you, there's Ann W's figure to balance it out I don't like Tess Daly all that much but she always looks absolutely gorgeous, I lover her dresses. As for jeggings, I don't like them all that much BUT I do think they look fab on a certain sort of person. If you'd feel good in some, I say buy 'em. I like the sound of "Come, come!" I might adopt that myself.

Do you know, Spot, DD doesn't clap my cricketers, ever She treats them with disdain, pretty much. I think I need to watch all the other series of Mad Men first. In fact, I think I will order them this avo.

Veggie, your iPhone triggered typos get ever more entertaining

Nolda, that sounds positive about Relate. I do feel our relationship has deteriorated a bit since kids and I am keeping an eye on it, though I think some of that is inevitable.

Oh-oh! There goes DD2.

hello hello

nolda - lovely to hear from you and so pleased you are having a positive experience.

lady - glad you have had a nice weekend - you deserved it. and glad you and dp have made up.

we had a shocker this weekend. madam, after being the most amazing sleeper for the past 6 months or so has had a dreadful cold and cough and it has really disturbed her sleep. on fri night she was up for 3 hours, screaming, playing musical beds with us, watching something special, anything apart from sleeping (all punctuated by screaming). and then was up every 40 mins or so until 7am when she was up properly. we had a wedding to go to , so dad and ladyfriend looked after her. we got back from the wedding to find she had been massively sick, was still poorly, but asleep. then half an hour after we got to sleep she woke up and we had an exact replay of the night before. it absolutely knocked me for 6. dh was the one to take her downstairs for some calming tv, but i was the one who got up with her every 40 mins or so to cuddle/stroke/calm etc. and also i was the one to get up with her in the mornings. so last night we hoped for better...

dh is obsessed with her sleep (or so it seems to me). i know he doesn't work well on being sleep deprived, but when at 11.30 she started screaming, his leg started twitching in bed (you know, a nervous twitch which i can completely feel through the mattress), saying "oh god, here we go again"/ "why is she doing this?"/ "how are we going to stop her doing this?" etc. we agreed that i would go in and sort her out - she was feeling better, so we could be a bit meaner to her and we decided we weren't going to take her downstairs for more tv as that would be 3 nights in a row then.

i did my best to calm, be firm, be nice, whatever, but she wasn't settling. but he got more and more wound up - i told/asked him to put ear plugs in and go into the spare room/downstairs and let me deal with it, but he wouldn't. i then got more and more wound up by him. eventually he went into her room and was so firm he was on the verge of shouting at her - came back into our bedroom and huffed and puffed and sighed etc. at that point i said i'd rather take her downstairs than he be so angry with her. at which point he lost it, screamed at me, threw things across the room, burst into tears and said how he hated his life, hated living...

so then i didn't know who to take care of first - him or madam. and i was suddenly taken back to madam's first weeks where he was like this and i had to look after him and the baby. and i am terrified about it happening again. the therapy we did together was fine, but i think it was pretty superficial - and i told him that this morning. i think he has got some stuff going on deep down which he isn't addressing, and which comes out in a torrent in the middle of the night. or am i just elevating it and everyone gets like this? i have just spoken to him and he sounds terrible - miserable, unable to work etc etc. i am terribly worried about him - i also know he feels the financial pressure of looking after us all when i am barely working myself.

sorry for the wittering - do you have similar things happen between you and your dp/dhs in the middle of the night - where it feels just so traumatic and dreadful? am i being silly?

Ohwg how awful...not sure what to say really. I do think things escalate in the middle of the night when we are sleep deprived. DH has in the past said horrid things to me, which he alwyas says he never meant just tired etc but it doesn't stop it hurting or me thinking about it. Does DH think that he has other stuff going on in his head? Would he consider some sort of counselling on his own to address any problems he may have? Hope things improve for you.

lady Did DD1 sit nicely throughout ITNG? How long was it? Trying to decide at the moment whether or not to get DS a ticket for the Xmas panto at out local theatre.

I don't think jeggings are any differnt than leggings are they? Just denim coloured?. I have a friend who would look amazing in a bin bag...it irritates me I could never be that stylish! In fact I am now depressed as I am off to watch Peter Kay with her at the end of November and i always feel like Franny McFrump-Frump next to her (she is lovely though).

I do love Masterchef Pro...

Nolda Hello, good to hear that counselling is going well.

Can't believe Belle Amie survived, or Chezza's shocking miming - again. How can she judge peoples vocal ability when we see so little of hers

I still haven't caught up with everyone else, but WG I didn't want to leave your post unanswered.

Firstly, whenever DD is under the weather and her sleep gets messed up she gets back into the swing of sleeping pretty easily so don't panic on that - as you say you might need to not go in immediately etc. It does sound like all the crying triggered something for your DH and maybe took him back to those early months when he felt he couldn't cope. It does seem a pretty strong reaction to the situation - she was ill and not just causing a fuss. Perhaps he could do with seeing someone to talk it all through with. Especially as with another on the way, middle of the night crying episodes will be common for a while. I hope you get a chance to talk things through tonight and you can explain how worried you are to him.

WG, I think I know where you are coming from and will be back later to write properly. But I'm really sorry, it's shit .

Veggie, what are you asking me about a lottery???

WG I would have to agree with Deids and see if he could get to talk to someone on his own. Things also seem far far worse when there is lack of sleep involved, and that is certainly the case it sounds. You mentioned DH is obsessed with dd's sleep. Is that a new thing? Do you know why? Come to think of it, I remember when our dc's started crawling and I was asking about stair gates, you had mentioned then that he was much more obsessed with her safety and routines etc than you back then. Do you spend much time with others who have kids - (meaning that he would hear similar stories of horrific nights with others toddlers?) You'd be welcome to spend some time with us and your dh would think Madam is a role model child ) In our house things definitely are more shouty when there is lack of sleep however as said before It's usually more me than him in fact I can't remember the last time DH shouted at me but I can probably recall a time I did him (although it IS quite rare) he avoids conflict like the plague. If we ever argue it's usually over pretty quick even though I have all these grand idea's to sleep on the couch so he'll feel really bad, or not talk to him the next day, it never happens and usually ends up that we are over it the same night / early morning. Thing is dh just can't stay awake so quite often if I've shouted at him he's not listening anyway so I have learnt it's a waste of my energy. I don't think I'm helping you at all - more just rambling, but I would 2nd the idea of some counseling for your dh solo as it sounds a bit more complicated than I'm qualified to comment on. I can listen and make coffee though it's what I do (except normally in the air )
Maybe get someone to take dd for a couple of nights as you'd be amazed how much different things will be after some sleep is caught up on? Others will be along with much more constructive advice I'm sure, but chat on here whenever you need to - fwiw I think it will all turn out fine as what you are describing I think is pretty common. Kids are hard work on marraiges

Oh what jolly said is so accurate. That is exactly the last week in this house DS is SO congested and has been up howling. It's SO unlike him, therefore I KNOW it's just casue he is sick and it will pass. He has already started eating again, but seriously wouldn't have anything except milk and plain burrito wraps for 3 days!

WG - I agree with every word JB said - it needs to be addressed before your DC2 as it can only intensify then. I am not being gloomy when I say that, you have time. I agree that his reaction was a little out of proportion and strongly agree it triggered a memory of the early days of your DD when he felt out of control. Can you talk about it today, do you think?

Like DB was saying, we have said harsh things to each other (as recently as Thursday!) and though they can be hard to shrug off or forget, I think you sort of know when they are fully meant versus a heat of the moment thing. Saying he hates his life is pretty strong, though, even in the heat of the moment. Poor lad. And poor you. Would he see someone, do you think? Are there friends he can talk to about this? I mean, not saying you aren't supportive but sometimes an outside party is better.

DB, the show was an hour and she sat like a paragon of virtue on my Mum's lap. Not sure she'd have done that with me There was a poor woman near us, though, with a small boy of about the same age trying to run all over the place. I felt really sorry for her as she spent the performance chasing him around.

Rubes, I cross posted with you - Sainsbury's do Halloween outfits and indeed someone bought us a skeleton outfirt for DD2 and it is 0-3 months but still way too big for her.DO you want to borrow it? I could bung it in the post.