December 2008: because i unwittingly finished the old thread

[waitinggirl]

oops. sorry. didn't realise i was post 1000. hope people find this...

Blinkin eck I've just spent ages catching up and writing a proper post with proper personals for a change and then it disappeared on me. Will try to remember...

spot great news about the house. Soz your DP is being an arse still. Come to Essex! Tis about 2 and a half hours though I reckon. Let us know next time you're at your mums - it's only about an hour from me I think.

hatty hello! great to hear from you! Impressed you're going for number 4.

Also impressed Avo at thinking of number 3. Don't think that will be happening round here somehow. And v exciting about the house as well.

Rubes glad your shoulder is getting better & ditto Lady's scar.

Jam forgive me but it did make me chuckle when you asked if I was the interior decorating guru. Most of my furniture comes from freecycle and occasionally eBay. If I really feel the urge to splash out on homewares I head to the pound shop. I doubt there is anyone on this thread or even the whole of MN who is less interested in interior design than me. But I'll let you off since you've never met me. Bit rubbish since we live a couple of miles from each other eh? And I am moving soon (not far though) - fancy meeting up in a couple of weeks from today?

Veg wrote a couple of things to you as well but can't remember what they were now. Oh yes one of them was you were asking if anyone's still bfing - I am.

Lots of food for thought on the wills (especially Avo's shocking & very sad story). Those of you with some knowledge or experience - mine & DP's situation is relatively straightforward in that there are no ex spouses or children other than our own, and nobody in either of our families who would contest anything etc. Do we really still need a will? The only complication is that we have a house in Spain which is in DP's name only.

On the midwives & doctors thing (bloody hell zj what an outrageous way to behave to your DH) - I didn't have that much to do with doctors but I second what others said about the postnatal ones being the absolute dregs.

Am well up for a Brighton meet-up. Or a Cambridge meet-up. Or a Christmas meet-up. Or a Friday mini meet-up. Thinking of heading into London next Friday actually - anybody about?

Right seriously running out of time now so I'd better get to the real point of my post which is I GOT THE JOB!!! Yes, the one that is on the same street I'm moving to. And I've managed to con them into letting me have Fridays off as well. Just in time as well as my current job has turned into a bit of a nightmare in the last couple of weeks. Happy days!

Well done PD! That is totally brilliant. And Fridays off too! As to a will, well, it's up to you but if anything happened to either of you your share of the house or any money would go into trust for the kids which might make it tricky for whoever is left if they needed to sell the house/access money.

Beans, there is something in the air I think as I am furious with DP. We had a similar thing yesterday morning to you - the first thing he said to me yesterday, about ten seconds after I had woken up, was really grumpy and I just can't be doing with it, and he was also very irritable in the early evening and then again before bed (I am also tired but I make a superhuman effort to hold in irritability with him) which culminated in a really nasty row. I realised a long time ago that all relationships involve compromise on both sides, and this one more than most, but some days I feel like I'm the one who continually gets the shitty end of the stick and I am really, really tired of it. Sometimes I just don't know if I have got the energy to bite my tongue for the rest of my life. Of course, it doesn't help that DH and I were like peas in a pod and DP and I are...not. He has gone to work now and I really don't want to talk to him at all, but tomorrow he has got a drive round a track in Warwickshire in an Aston Martin (a present from me from ages ago), then we are off to lunch with my Dad and Stepmother who live locally, then up to Birmingham to watch ITNG with Mum and her DP, then back to Mum's for supper with my sister. And it will just create too much of a bad atmosphere if I'm not speaking to him. Grrrrrr. Beans, you are absolutely right about Avo's post being food for thought, but this relationship has been comparatively hard work since we met and sometimes I just despair. He is a great Dad but I am trapped in here every sodding day and the very limited time per day I see another adult, I do need him not to behave like a grumpy, gloomy tosser, even intermittently.

Rubes, that night sounds tough and having a yucky cold (all of you!) makes one so miserable. You poor old thing. Keep mainlining the Sudofed and Lemsips. And lots of wine tonight! It can't last forever, hang on in there. Btw, we have moved to the Aptamil cartons and DD2 is loads better. For the last two weeks she hasn't been sleeping much and has been so windy and in pain, and we kept trying different colic drops and the comfort formula and whatnot, but since yesterday we ditched the lot and went onto ready to pour packets and she is like a different baby. Poor little mite. I am thinking about your gifts, more later.

Veggie, aren't you seeing your house today? You travelled back from the safari yesterday, didn't you?

Right, something I wanted to say to Spot but now DD2 is crying.

Congrats PD! Really well done! I will think about Friday - wish you could get to me, but I really should stop being lazy Where in London are you going?

Lady, and Beans what you said about dp/dh is kind of the opposite in this house and has made me feel like a crappy moody cow. Not only did I snap at dh for no apparent reason (except that I was tired) last night (while he was still up working at midnight ) I have routinely recently snapped at him in the mornings which hasn't been warranted in the slightest, and I wouldn't have said a lot more than them I need to change my ways.

Thanks Lady, any input on these gifts would be helpful. the 3 parties are all in one weekend!

Where are you Vag? You off drinking your Malibu somewhere?

That was meant to read I would have said a lot more than they both did. I'm a nasty cow

No, you aren't! What rubbish The fact is, some people don't mind if the other person is grumpy and can shrug it off and feel it doesn't matter, and it doesn't affect them too much. Your DH may be like this. Unfortunately I can't do this, and it really stresses me if DP is grumpy, even if I know he doesn't seriously mean it.

When you say a 40 yr old MP, do you mean a Member of Parliament?

Ooh well done PD That is super news. Congratulations!

LadyT I find it very frustrating when I've been at home all day with DD and DH comes home and wants to wind down from his day gently, just as I need help with bathtime and really want to talk to someone who does more than 3 word sentences. I don't think there is anything like children (maybe housework!) for bringing out the differences in a couple. Speaking of which our friend and his girlfriend have just found out she is pregnant after only 9 months together. Eek!

Re the formula, I was just wondering what the difference could be between the powder and the cartons. Are you shaking to mix the powdered stuff? I read somewhere that was a no no for windy babies. DD was always better with the bottle swished about in circles, less burpy and sick.

ZJ PD reminded me about your labour situation. How horrendous of that doctor.

rubes Having a hideous cold and 2 babies also with colds is justification for being moody.

Yes but Lady, he probably is upset by it - just wouldn't say if he was I doubt. Anyway, I will watch myself just the same.
Oh and yes, friend is M of Parliament plus 1 year old girl b'day plus 2 year old girl b'day

Hello Jolly, Thanks but I will still make an effort. I'm feeling a little better all Ibuprofened up, though now the shoulder hurts after wrestling ds with a nappy change

Jolly thats nothing I was pregnant with DS1 6wks after I met DH. [hwink]

PD brilliant news! Yes to getting together would be fab.

Beans grr to your DH. But I hear you all on the grumpy thing. DH does that too.

Have to go clean the kitchen I stupidly put a nappy in the kitchen bin as I was dashing out the door to get DS1 from nursery and the ruddy dog pulled it out and half ate it. bleaugh. Thank god it was just wet.

Hehehe Pubes I'm currently in the middle of a minigolf giggling to myself like some mad women over your last comment.

Lady our viewings are next Tuesday. We are seeing 3 places and that was the earliest we could get them all together. So we are still at the safari place. We checked out of our little house this morning and were going to spend the day at the pool Thing but its a beautiful day so we are at a big play land thing which is also attached to this place. We actually thought it was closed but its just unmanned so anyone staying here can use the equipment but obv we need to watch our own kids. So we've been to the petting zoo, played mini golf, the boys went mental on a beach playground, drove miniature monster trucks. Jordi and I played in the bouncey castles and we all bounced on the trampolines (evidently my pelvic floor hasnt quite returned to its former glory). DS2 was up a bit in the night & is now shattered and asleep on my lap so DH is bringing the car to the front reception then we are going tp load up the boys and go.

PD that is brilliant news. I've been thinking about you & your work. When do you move & when do you start. I really am pleased for you. Also happy I'm not the only long term feeder on here. I don't want to be the strange hippy bfer. You can be strange with me. Now where are my sandals.

I'm just looking at my beautiful DS2 asleep on my lap. As well as red red seething cheeks, I'm just noticing he still has a very hairy forehead. It's quite dark too.

Beans, Avo's situation puts things into perspective but I don't think you should accept behaviour because of what might happen to DH. It's good to feel that you never want to lose him but he still needs to behave. I have to say when I've had a might like you've had the last thing I want is a child intruding on my shower. The intrude on our sleep, our toilet, our coffee time, surely he could've let you have a shower in peace.

Oh dear, I think we might all be having "one of those days". This morning I had to go to the GP for an internal examination reading my very odd periods. The GP was lovely but I had to take DD2 with me and she is still ill from her MMR (it was her first, not the booster, I delayed getting her first). Because she is ill she will not be put down so I had to hold her on my tummy while being examined! I know we get used to being watched having a poo but must we get used to jiggling a child during an internal? It felt beyond the call. And the examination hurt which led the GP to think I have a large ovarian cyst so I have to go for an internal ultrasound. I guess maybe its optimistic to assume we will even get a DC3 if my ovaries are going to start playing up.

Beans and LadyT - I am sorry you are having hard times with your DP/DH's. It is horrible to feel unappreciated or in fact to have any stress added when you are caring for two such little beings. I have to say I am very lucky, in that, like Rubes, I more likely to be the one making nasty comments rather than receiving them. Reading your posts reminds me how very important it is that I make a real effort to bite my tongue when tired and irritable.

PD - if your DP is not your DH then his assets will go to the kids not to you. I really would consider getting a will. Also you need a will to specify who would get the kids and the money if you were both to die.

Crap, DD2 has just woken early from her nap and is sobbing. Bloody MMR.

Oh and Jolly - you're right, I was told that due to needing to shake the powder up - the cartons are much better (albeit more expensive) for windy babies - for obvious reasons. Glad the cartons are working out Lady - they are working out well here too.

Eventful internal Avo - hope it's nothing serious. That's how my doc appoints usually go.

Jam your dog sounds so much like mine....
Bloody disgusting sometimes aren't they - does yours lick vomit off the dc's and furniture when the opportunity arises too?

DD just will not settle for naps today. Not sure if it's her cold or not so better pull out the calpol

Want to move dd into her own room. Does anyone have any suggestions about how to do this effectively without waking ds as their rooms are nearby. She keeps waking about an hour after she gets to sleep at night (so about 8pm) and at that point he would already be asleep. Should I just wait till she can sleep better in the early evening? She's almost getting too long for the moses basket now.

Avo, if you do have an ovarian cyst, whatever the treatment is like (and from memory I think they can inject them quite simply?) I would urge you to have it because I had one rupture when I had a kidney stone and the pain of both nearly made me lose my mind. But jiggling a toddler whilst having an internal? Not good. Not good at all.

Veggie, as to children intruding on loo activities, regardless of what goes on in the loo (could be as innocent as blowing my nose) if I lift the lid of the loo, DD1 automatically says "Pooooooh! STINKS!" Which is rather offputting and not especially charming.

Well, Jolly, the comfort formula is very thick and we were having to mess around with the types of teats and whatever we did was wrong, even though we were conscious of not shaking them. Also the Infacol etc can make things worse if you don't manage to get the wind up properly (it works by making the bubbles in the tummy bigger, and supposedly easier to bring up, but if you don't get it up it results in pain and trapped wind further down ) I was pregnant 8 or 9 months after meeting DP, sigh. Bit of a shock. Can't beat Jam's effort though

And Jam, that is TRULY vile about the nappy. Ye Gods!

Rubes, will be back about gifts, hang on.

Congratulations PD! That's brilliant news. I've had a sniff at some contract work locally too which might ease things a bit. I'm planning to go down to 2 days a week from next year (if it's approved) but I could do with wrangling another day or so and broadening my cv. I will be working Fridays though so will be just as rubbish at meeting up .

Trying to work out if I'm the grumpy one - actually I think DH and I are as bad as each other. He snaps and gets impatient (which means I ditz about) whereas I withdraw and blank him out which really annoys him. Maybe we both need to grow up .

Avo: poor you, what a stressful and generally rubbish appointment. I hope you have something nice planned.

Forgot to say helloooooo to Hatty! Lovely to see you.

Avo i haave to say that is a funny image re the internal! I expect you could have done without that though. I hope the ovary situation turns out to be ok.

I don't have a will either. Informally the kids would go to my brother if we both died presumably in this situation in a will you would leave most of your assets to them to help pay for bringing up your kids. Hmmm really must get onto getting will. Our insurance, which i am not sure is set up yet, is life insurance, insurance for if we are long term Ill and can't work and insurance for if we are unemployed. I think all in it comes to about 100 quid a month but that is for both of us.

I am the grumpy one in our relationship too. Fortunately dh knows how to handle me and we don't fight often and i do reign it in. He is so helpful in some ways but not others e.g. Even if he says he will wake up in the night for DS he takes forever to do it and i feel like i might as well have done it myself. Basically I have mean thoughts all the time that are unjustified. E.g. He said he had the bug i had as he had a sore throat and headache and stayed off work, he is insistent that he had the same thing but there was no sign of a raging temperature or being stuck in bed so i am grumpy with him as he spent half the day sleeping and ignoring the carnage at tea time and moaned that h was too screamy. However i would be grumpy at him if he'd been really ill too! If he had done childbirth I would have been one of those annoying partners who said "oh it can't hurt that much?"

Sigh so with dh not too ill that means we have to go to mil's this weekend. Sigh again. Right let's be positive. Good things about MIL
She is a good cook
She is superficially friendly
She likes seeing us
She likes seeing grandchildren
She is generous and buys nice presents for us and children at Xmas
She likes some similar stuff to us like being outside and going for walks. And master chef and have I got news for you

That was a real effort not to put BUT at the end of each of those sentences. My effort at not being a moony bitcher. I suspect somewhat boring so i will probably go back to bitching.

Pd what are you pkanning on doing next friday ? I could be up for a trip as all the toddler groups rare shut for the week due to half term so could be a good tine to try an adventure out with both of them as we will be at a loose end.

Dogs are gross. Why do you have them. I suppose at least they eat up leftover food which is handy. I am put off them by mil's dog who is a bit growly and temperamental though i think, but i have said we are never having a dog. I suspect this is an argument that may come to a head as we get older. Mil has already told me that if you don't have a dog as you grow up it means you really miss out as it teaches you something about responsibility. When i said i didn't have a dog growing up and i think I'm ok, she didn't say anything. Haha, how rude.... Anyway i am not really a dog hater. I just don't want one.

Anyway i have rambled enough. Veggie your holiday sounds ace. Btw i posted you something, will it be returned to post office for you to get if it arrived while you were away?

Spot not sure I would make it down to Brighton but next time your area up in Cambridge direction and not on a romantic weekend out let us know?? Maybe we could meet up with poison too (i could travel).

Oh bugger forgot to say congrats on the job pd!

And I also forgot to say hi to hatty - nice to see you. Dc4 yikes!!

Vaggie were you laughing about the pregnant comment or the FB comment?

Hello Summer, same here with the toddler groups not happening during half term - dumb. Dogs are good - def good for the food leftovers - she hears key words which involve ds and meals throughout the day and runs to the highchair to wait for fallen food she's also a great companion to ds and they run around the garden together when it's warm or around the coffee table when it's cold
erm what's your mil on about - u need a dog to teach you responsibility? What does she think 2 kids do!???? You seem to be doing just fine and quite responsible to me.

I was going to make a crustless quiche but now think I'll do steak. No I won't, the steak is still frozen.

rubes what's a crustless quiche? isn't it an omlette??

MIL said it teaches you responsibility as you are growing up. Obviously the 2 kids gives you responsibility as an adult! Yawn, whatever. I would just have neglected a dog as a kid if I'd been told I had to look after it! Ha, what was it avo did to her pet again? I have forgotten but it was something neglectful and awful but made a v amusing story.

oooh don't bring up the pet stories again or I'll have to clock off for a bit!
Yes I suppose it is an omlette except cooked in the oven and much easier (I suck at omlette's) Actually its meant to have just a pastry base and no sides but I was going to take it one step further and totally de-carb it

Spent far too long on here today.

Sounds nice. Maybe that's a fritatta. I never did know what the difference between a frittata and omelette was.

DS slept for nearly 3hrs and it coincided with DD, who is still asleep. How good is that? It means I managed to have lunch alone and pack for the weekend. DH will be v pleased but we have not had much of an afternoon. DS is having monster naps at the moment, and is still sleeping ok at night, I think it may be as a result of bug at weekend still. Not complaining though.
Aha, DD awake.

yes dd still asleep - nearly 2 hrs but she stirred and I ignored so she went back to sleep. It will mean this evening will be buggered I'm sure.

It might well be a fritatta Summer - in fact I'm going to look it up.....

OK apparently a fritatta is deeper and often has a variety of different fillings and an Omlette is thinner and folded basically the same then.

OK I'm making a fritatta....

God I hope I feel better soon. I clearly need to get out of the house and off this computer.

I am fed up as it's Friday, which should be a nice day, and also I am seeing ALL of my folks tomorrow and then Sunday we have a babysitter so we can do stuff on the house, but I don't want DP to get home as I still feel really annoyed with him, will have to make rudimentary conversation for practical purposes and I just don't feel like it.

Right, Rubes, gifts: for the 1 yr old I say a Playskool Digger the Dog and for the 2 yr old a VTech Singalong Microphone (both available from Boots online, both a tenner) and for the 40 yr old MP, a bottle of port. I like tawny port and here is a bottle of 10yr old vintage for thirty quid with lot of nice extras.

SL, I was highly amused by your list of reasons why your MIL isn't too bad. But most particularly by 'superficially friendly'. Yeah. So telling.

avo Oh dear, that sounds beyond the call of duty. Hope it gets sorted out soon.

summer I find deep breaths and thinking what I'd like to say to my MIL helps a little. Just enjoy the nice cooking and zone out during conversations! Also let her entertain her grandchildren while you put your feet up!

Jam I thought I remembered there was someone on here who met and had a baby speedily! I'm sure it will work out for them as it has for you and ladyT.

They have just moved in together and it has all come as a bit of a shock. I don't know her that well either and I'd like to be supportive but am not sure how to be. Our friend has only told us so far. I want to be sensitive to the fact that they're worried about money etc and shocked, but also that they're having a baby and it is very exciting. I don't want to come across as being too positive or negative. Does that sound weird?

That is foul about the nappy. This is waaaaaaay too much information but our cat once emptied the bathroom bin of some used sanitary items, tore them to shreds and scattered them across the house. I did not enjoy cleaning that up.

Anyway on that disgusting note, back to work!

Oh Lady - I like where you're going with that port idea. We had thought of a lovely bottle of wine, but I like the sound of Port better. Good call. I will check out those kiddie idea's too. Thanks!
Your dp has a way of going off for the day and coming back in a different frame of mind and making it up to you so I'm sure today won't be any different. I'm sure you are both really tired, and really stressed out about a variety of things and I bet it'll be better before the family get together tomorrow.

See cats are disgusting too.

I have ditched the fritatta idea, and currently doing a sausage casserole with Debbie & Andrew's sausages - they are 97% beef, bout time - yum.

DD STILL asleep. I'm making a rod for my own back aren't I

Lady - I join you on that. I am always biting my tongue not to row and feel like I'm pandering to his ego/mood swings and it bores me. But I don't like rowing and am wet. Sometimes I think if I spoke to him how he speaks to me, we'd be divorced. But I have to deal with it my way! And I think I'd get bored of him if I could walk all over him! But sometimes would be nice!!!

Am in throws of doing supper so can't be a long post, but Rubes - we moved DD2 into her room fairly quickly and the first DCs tend to sleep really heavily, so I wouldn't worry too much about him waking up - or if he does, he'll probably go back to sleep pretty quickly too. That's what we've found anyway. TBH I worry more about DD2 being woken by DD1 these days!

Jam - your dog is disgusting, but v funny! I've got an even grosser story... We used to have a springer spaniel and it was before I started using tampax and was on towels. Didn't know you could flush them down the loo and I used to keep them in a plastic bag every day and throw them secretly in the big bin at the end of the day. Our spaniel found the bag and ripped into it and eat some of my dirty towels. Dear GOD it was disgusting and I felt awful! Luckily Mum was with me when I found it and we discreetly cleared it up and threw it all away. She told me that if you rip them up you cna throw them down the loo! I didn't know that. Never looked back. And the dog got a smack! It was grim, but funny in retrospect!

Must dash. So sorry not to do more personals, DD2 keen to get naked for a kick on gym and is a bit screamy and DD1 having her nosh.

xxx

Hello everyone...hope you are all well.I've not posted for a while just not really had much to say. Not really hada proper catch up but hope everyone with new/ill/snotty/stinky/sleepless babes are all resting and taking it easy!

We have no will but do have Life Assurance.

Hello Hatty long time no see, hope you are well

Re: MW's I have a completely differnt perspective given that my mum was a fairly senior MW in our trust until last summer. And for a large part of that she was a crap/dreg/barely qualified post natal MW . I think if you trawled every profession you would would examples of the very good, the very bad and the plodders who just get by.

Grandad has lysteria and is extremely poorly in hospital. I want to cry my eyes out but won't till the DC's are in bed and I have some wine!

Oh and DS ate a jar of sudocream this morning