September 2010 - we've met our little ones now!

[comixminx]

Or most of them at least - there are some late September ones still to come!

Also forgot to mention it snowed a bit more today and when my daughter came home from school we went sledging which she loved, think she loved me more scraming as I was going down the hill on it with her :)

screaming

water sprite, there are loads of different types of sling out there and I understand that some babies like some and not others so it's hard to recommend one! In Oxford there's a sling library so that people can get informed about different kinds, try them out, and borrow them - worth checking whether there's such a thing near you.

We've got a baby bjorn sling which does us very well, for what that's worth.

Ugh I have a cold - a nasty one and Phoebe has it too. Tho she doesnt seem as bothered or out of sorts during the day but my God was last night loooong!! Had planned to do loads today - things to sort before decorations go up. Couldnt face it. Poor head not up to it at all. Hope tonight goes better!

Hi All

Not logged on for an age because my little man is keeping me soooo busy! But I love the current theme and so here goes:

Henry gave his mummy a fright for a bit because he was very sick for the first week of his life and then she imagined that every time he cried it was something ever so serious until a very wise person (probably one of the grannies) pointed out that until babies figure out that talking business, crying is the only way to tell you what he wants for everything from "I'm bored!" to "I'm not well".

Then Mum made the mistake of reading about milestones and thought that if he wasn't smiling by 7 weeks something was seriously wrong. Doh. At 8 weeks exactly, he woke up beaming at my left boob and has progressed to full blown giggles on a daily basis.

Henry LOVES Zingzillas even though I feel bad for plonking him in front of the telly. Loves the Beatles (good taste) and Coldplay (maybe not so great.)

We co-sleep so I sort of sense his pattern now, and although my sleep is still a bit broken the nights are easier. I got up last night to do the 4am feed by the window and watch the snow together. Just perfect.

But after Daddy's shoulder perch when he has wind, his next fave thing ever is the bath. God he loves it and chuckles and smiles all the way through. HATES his nappy going on with a passion and likes nothing better than to cycle his legs around like mad all bare bummed. My son clearly has no inhibitions.....

I can't believe he's 12 wks old tomorrow. Our lives have changed so much, I can't remember anything before he came.

Hope you're all well. Looking forward to Christmas or....?!

11+6

watersprite hug-a-bub best.sling.ever! dp has worn it with both,(as have i)its fantastic!

Looks very much like my kari me sling clumsymumsnowdriftbaby

yep,i think theyre the same,a friend has one,the same,by a different name toomellymooks has one too i think.
brilliant arent they

oh,and happy birthday!

clumsymumsnowdriftbaby could you pick a longer name????!!!

Yes I have hug a bub too it is wonderful!!

clumsy we have so many things in common is making me chuckle!

clunmsy i just read your new name wrong, I read clumsy mums now drift baby and was thinking what does she mean, doh! Then realised that of course it's snowdrift!!! I am a sleep deprived mama who cannot work out the simplest things

Do we need to start a new thread soon, how long can they get before they get stopped?

They are great, I also use a pushchair depending on what we're doing and he's happy their too. Comes in handy when I'm pushing double buggy and have my three year old walking aswell, so glad he's only 14lbs though!

I think it's 1000 posts mellymooks

Yes, it's 1000 posts, so we're coming to the end but not quite there yet.

I was a cruel cruel mummy yesterday. I kept waking them up and not letting them sleep.

9.30pm - 7.30am Jacob!!!!!!!!!!!

10 hours. woohoo.

I didn't get 10 hours, cos of Isobel i only got 7, but still.........

WARNING -serious rant to follow!!

Yesterday was hell in our house, woke up with some sort of bug but felt better by the afternoon so didn't think much of it but i was exhausted all day. Grace was very difficult all day and was not happy with anything i did, spent the day either trying to get her to sleep or creeping round the house when she was asleep which is how i seem to spend most days recently. The snow was really bad here yesterday so i was stuck in the house all day, i need to get out everyday for my sanity. I was gutted id had to miss the stay and play thing and my sister (who couldn't get to work) came round for a bit but left pretty sharpish cause grace was being a pain and i was stressed. Anyway DP comes home and starts banging on about how much fun him and his work mates have had in the snow etc and i just burst into tears. He had no idea id had a shit day cause he never bothered to ask so i just erupted about how id not been out, felt stressed ALL DAY once again had had nothing to eat at all cause Grace goes ape shit when i leave the room and when she's asleep the slightest noise wakes her up and she will not go in the sling i bought so i can't get anything done around the house, anyway all i seemed to do was cry at various points throughout the night through sheer exhaustion and relief that he was home! And all he could think to say was how i was worruing HIM and was i really fed up etc. Well yes i am fed up but only cause he has no idea how hard it is to be in on your own all day, not having a shower or anything to eat.

Got to Grace's last feed at 8pm, he fed her and she was sound asleep was just planning on taking her up to bed when DP suggested i put her on my shoulder for 10 mins cause she will only sleep there apparently!! Even though she was fast asleep on him, i told him it would wake her up but he said to give it a try and i was too knackered to argue so i took her off him and of course she woke up and wouldn't settle again! So i just left him to deal with her and went to bed. I lay there for 2 hours feeling really guilty and upset for leaving him to do it but i refused to go back downstairs. Grace went down at 11 and woke up at 6 but i had the worst night sleep ever and now DP has left for work barely talking to me.

I just really resent the fact that he hasn't got a clue what it's like to feel so isolated and lonely all the time! He gets the best of her at night and at weekend im always here to take the pressure off so he is never alone with her!

I don't really know where im going with this, i suppose i just wanted to have a bit of a moan! Gonna wrap Grace up in a bit and brave the snow cause i can't sit in this house all day listening to the extractor fan (which is the only thing that will help her sleep atm) if she will go in the pram, she has decided she doesn't like that either. Plese tell me it gets easier than this??????

newmum I didn't post yesterday cos i was waiting to see what others said. The reason was because mine aren't like that, so i would be giving you advice based on what i think and what i would do, if mine were like that, rather than my experience- iyswim.

My only cry for 2 reasons (so far) hungry and pain. (trapped wind) They have yet to learn that they can cry to get attention.

Anyway, if it was me, i would check that's she's not hungry, windy, wet etc. If not then i would leave her to cry for a bit. Not long and i wouldn't leave her if the cry starts getting distressed. But if mine start crying when they've just woke up, or it's getting close to feeding time or they are wriggling and crying cos they have wind, i don't always come running. If i'm washing up or doing something i will keep going for a little bit until they either aren't stopping (sometimes they will just stop, cos something will catch their eye etc) or they start crying louder. Sometimes i will just go over and turn them over onto their bellies and let them try and bring their wind up themselves (Isobel is a star at this).
She sounds like she is a baby who is more hard work than most (don't mean that in a bad way, some are just more hard work than others) and i think you are going to go insane and it's not good for her either, if you have to entertain her constantly. Because you are entertaining her all the time, she may find it boring now just to lie there. I would definately start leaving it a minute, then a bit longer etc. I would just differentiate between crying and distressed and she would have to get on with it. Having said this, it is your first baby and believe me it is a helluva lot easier to leave your second baby to cry than your first! You panic a lot with your first. With your first yoiur like ' oh my god, she's crying, what's wrong, what's wrong and with your second (and third!) your like ' oh it's ok, they're only crying'! Well i am anyway. Mine are choking sometimes on reflux and chloe's like OMG mum, mum,mum they're choking, and i wait a min to see if they stop! Sounds cruel, but i figure they need to learn to get rid of it themselves cos if they do it in their sleep and i'm asleep theres no-one to help them then, so they need to learn.

I don't know how everyone feels, they may think differently. (fingers crossed you don't all think i'm a cow)

x posts, not read yours yet newmum, so mine was wrote without seeing it.

Oh sweetheart, it does get easier than this. Is she bottle fed? If yes, why don't you insist he has her for a whole day at the weekend? (I wish i could do this, cos i think it's the only way they will realise how hard it is). I wouldn't stay in the house though, I'd go to a friends or parents or something and have a sleep.

I used to have it all quiet with Chloe when she was a baby thinking she would sleep better but then the slightest noise would wake her up. I have the telly/music on now and i talk to DD and DP normally (not whispering) and they sleep though it.

Hoping you have a better day today. xxx

newmum oh,you poor love,thats exactly how i felt with dd.it does get easier,and you will become more'used' to it.but your dp does need to pull his weight,if ff i would def hand her over,he needs to realise what you are doing,day in day out.it's the hardest job in the world...but you just wait,when she turns round one day and says "i love you mummy" it will melt your heart

keep trying with the sling btw,there are some great videos on you tube that will explain it better than i can,but all babys like to be close to mummy,they just need to get used to it,what type have you got?

feel free to pm me if you need a real chat,and i'll give you my phone number

Sassy - im going shopping on Saturday with my sister and will be out all day but DP has already roped his mum into taking grace out for a few hours so he can "tidy the house" i am extremely grateful for him tidying as it's a tip atm but really pissed off that he will probaby spend an hour tidying and then 3 hours on his xbox. I don't begrudge him a bit of chill time as he works hard and i practically throw Grace at him everynight when he walks in the door but i just want him to have a day of struggling with her so he might have a tiny idea of how i feel! I know that sounds a bit mean but it's how i feel.

I said last night that if the snow is still bad on Saturday it'd probably be best if his mum didn't have Grace out all day and he said "no problem - i'll just clean downstairs when she's asleep then i'll put her down again and do upstairs" if it was that fucking easy id be able to do it during the week!! Is he really that thick, does he think im some lazy cow who just sists on my arse all day letting the house get filthy!! He clearly has no idea what a typical day for me is like despite me telling him over and over.

I know im making him out to be this vile peson who doesn't listen but he's not like that at all, he really is quite wonderful but he clearly hasn't got a clue.

On a good note though, i was blowing rasberries at Grace this morning and she was trying to do it back and then actually laughed for the first time, well it was more like a squeal but she had a massive smile on her face at the same time so i'll take it as a laugh!! I don't know who was more shocked, her or me. It was without a doubt the cutest thing i have ever seen!

We're having a night out in two weeks and Grace is staying at her nan's, i'm really going to miss her but i can not wait to go out and feel normal again. Does that make me sound really horrible.

Thank you clumsy, you have just officially been the first thing today to make me cry, in a very good way though

I love Grace more than life but my god it's hard!!!

newmum
sassy makes some really good points, you're not a cow sassy !! Far from it.

The trouble is newmum is that you're falling into a cycle of being stressed and fed up which Grace then picks up on as well, that isn't meant to make you feel worse, but I know it's true cause I've been there myself.
As soon as I am calmer and more chilled so are my children.

It's very true what sassy says about leaving them a little bit to see what the cry is going to turn into but that is definitly easier 2nd time round, I found it impossible not to respond immediately with my DD but I feel more "hardened" to the crying this time and can wait to see what is going to happen.

There's more I want to say but got to bf now will write more later, we're all here for you sending virtual hugs xxxxx

You are right newmum they're not the pigs they seem, just clueless sometimes. If he thinks he can put her upstairs why he cleans downstairs and vice versa, just smile sweetly at him and say ok love whatever you want to do. As long as you are out and about doing something to de stress, let him get on with it. Be prepared for him being able to do just that though. Like melly says, if he is more relaxed than you, this may rub off on Grace, or alternatively he may not be as tired and emotionally attached as you are (remember they don't have our hormones) and may be able to leave her crying for longer than you can.