Dec 08 Ladies - Waiting for BabyLady & the usual grumpy tots with stinky bots

[DeidreBarlow]

Hope this is ok...

Firstly kiwi woo hoo!! Congrats howdo you both feel about it?

Secondly trace I am bit , well quite a lot actually at your manager implying that this is all somehow your fault!She was the one being sneaky asking you about Mrs Bling she should have gone and done at spot check at your clinic and checked on Mrs B herself she obviously had a feeling she wasn't going to adhear to the rules. PLease, please believe me when I say you having NOTHING to feel ashamed about. Big hugs, feet up and forget about it tonight, just give them gorgeous girls a big squeeze!

Where is wg/mom...I'm sure there are others who haven't been on for ages!

[putting on internet hygiene gloves] Kiwi that is fab news and very exciting!

trace you've been put in a very unfair place and it looks as if your manager knows she's in the wrong as much as Mrs Bling but is trying to offload that onto you. Grrr. DB's advice is very good :)

Well sorry all I seem to do recently is come on intermittently and moan, but this pg does seem to be a lot less straightfoward than last time. Had to pick dd up from nursery yesterday as she had a fever, this morning she woke up with very red cheeks and dh thinks it might be slapped cheek. This is apparently most dangerous in the first 20 weeks, and the redness only shows up after she's been infectious for several days (am 20 weeks on Monday...). So went off to docs, and they're doing a test on the ante natal bloods they took before. 60% of adults have had it before, but if not and it gets passed to the baby (and this gets more likely the further on the pregnancy gets) all sorts of dreadful things ensue, eg 9% of infected mothers go on to miscarry :( :(

and while I'm in a mood, anyone else thing Zingzillas is the biggest load of tosh on the planet? today it's bhangra, yesterday Julian Lloyd Webber was on it (thought interestingly never in the same shot as the 'zillas'...) They're like a bunch of caned students. DD has suddenly taken to it over the last couple of days but lordy it makes me want to smash something over the tv.

will try and cheer up a bit and catch up tomorrow, am at work so will have pc all afternoon with nobody overlooking the screen (ahem...)

Hooray Kiwi that's wonderful news. Is DH thrilled, don't worry about DD me getting pregnant helped with his sleep settling. He was a bit over 2.5 when I for preggars again and still liked me to lay with him while he went off to sleep. I knew that couldn't continue when DS2 came along so it gave us the incentive to change, which he did in a night or 3.

Trace if a friend told you they were having an affair and you told DH who was good friends with the persons spouse & your DH told the spouse, which then caused them to fight leave each other & get a divorce. Who would be to blame for the break up of the relationship? You didn't do the deed Trace.

Oh battery low gotta post

Congrats Kiwi brilliant news! How are you both feeling about it?

Trace you sound tired, and I bet it all seems a million times worse, but I'm also very for you. Don't worry about moaning to us. Come back even if you're still angry later I hope. You've been treated quite unfairly it seems but it will pass. I agree with DB. Feet up and big glass of cheerfulness.

JJ Sorry to hear about dd. Hope it all isn't as bad as you and dh fear. Could it not also possibly be just teething or have they confirmed fifth disease is it called? Oh what am I talking about your dh would know best! Hope it all turns out ok x

A big thanks to our Lady if you're lurking. Got an unexpected package in the mail today . Will open tomorrow, but very kind x hope you are having a nice relaxing time at your Mums.

Well had a lovely day with two friends and one of their toddlers, and my hair is now presentable again one friends dd took an awful tumble down the stairs ferom the very top, but she is fine, and ds got quite a shock when he witnessed the whole thing I must admit it sounded horrific.

Right, must get kiddies in bed and wine in glass dinner on.

Congratulations and felicitations, KP! We are starting to do quite well with the surprise babies on this thread! Yay. You be careful, you are working so hard.

Trace, as DB and JJ have said, it is so unfair, the way you have been treated. You are in the middle, and both your manager and Mrs B have been unprofessional. Why are you copping it? Easier said than done but try to let it wash over you. If you get any more grief about it we will get up a posse and bash 'em!

Oh JJ, what a lot of worries you are having Fingers crossed all is well. Lots of whitelight to you (and I won't be alone in that I am sure). Rest well.

DB, am so glad the cystitis has buzzed off. Spot of cheerfulness this weekend?

Rubes, how did the hair go? Sent you a little packet yesterday...

I hope Sybs is ok. I have Mom's and WG's numbers so could text but one doesn't like to bother people. ZJ I would guess is just vv busy. But we have others that are AWOL.

I was woken by a little voice at 7.55 this morn, saying "hello" very quietly and then even more quietly "chocolate biscuits"

Back to the cottage tomorrow. Crikey, I have eaten far too much crap. However, DP is now on a diet and he's started on the rowing machine again, so we will be on starvation rations together until Christmas.

Cross posted with V and R. Glad you got the package, Rubes! It's stuff I rate, just so you know.

DD has just drawn ALL over my Mum's kitchen wall. She has become obsessed with crayons, pens and pencils and she keeps absconding with them. I tell you what, if she starts drawing on the walls in the cottage I will lose my sense of humour.

That is very funny LadyT . Were you so impressed you gave them to her? I think I would have given in for sheer audacity.

Kiwi, many congratulations! How are you both feeling? I remember you mentioning the possibility a while back, maybe your subconscious decided for you...

JJ, that must be very worrying. When do you get the bloods back? Agree completely re-Zingzillas, why do the DCs always seem to love the most annoying programmes? T's favourites are (in order of preference). Teletubbies, Balamory, Numberjacks, Big cock little cock and Show me Show me.

Rubes you were saying yesterday about realising you have to ration the telly, we're in the same position now where T demands teletubbies (and actually can get the DVD, put it in the player and press the right buttons on the remote ). Well done on surviving toddler hell fun and getting your hair done at the same time. I am v impressed at your multitasking.

Trace it is NOT YOUR FAULT. Your good nature has been massively taken advantage of and I am v for you. Everyone else has already given very good advice but I just wanted to stress that they are at fault, respectively, and you have just tried to do your best.

Things improving here on the illness front, but I have a confession to make. I am really not enjoying being T's mother at the moment . I feel like someone has stolen my happy, gentle baby and replaced them with an angry, whiny, naughty little boy. And I know I'm not dealing with it well at all. I realise he is just being the typical toddler and that's how it works and I need to realise the goalposts have shifted but it's just bloody hard work to be constantly either telling off or distracting and he is pushing every button I have. It's the deliberateness that's doing my head in. I need strategies! Have ordered a couple of books ofd t'internet that have been recommended to me - Love and logic and 1,2,3 Magic. I hope they have some ideas! Better get diner on, back later.

Sorry Spot can't help you with coping strategies. My mum arrives tomorrow and I'm desperately worried that if DS2 starts acting up DS1 may come out with 'oh veggiebaby fa fuks sayk'.

I'm not sure if my analogy made any sense earlier trace. I basically meant that you didn't wear the bling & you didnt ask someone to dob on their collegue. I think as naughty as mrsbling is to wear the bling and to embellish your comments & involvement, she has every right to complain about your manager. But whatever happens you did the absolute right thing. If I was one of your other colleagues I would be thinking that I could def trust you to watch my back.

JJ I'm sorry you have this worry now, you seem to be taking it all very calmly. My White light is thrown in.

I'm glad your back is better Deids I was a little worried for you.

Lady I'm loving the chocolate biscuits.

DS2 is into letting his crayons wander to Walls at the moment too. It's surprising how hard working baby wipes can be on walls.

Spot that is amazing that T can sort the DVD player out. DS2 thinks that he points at the TV & it magically turns on.

Oh Vag I'm crying with laughter reading that!

Spot, we are def in the same boat, as are a lot of us with independant toddlers I'd say. My friends who were over today -oh and by the way I can hardly take credit for multi tasking since I sat in my living room gossiping with foils on my head while dh and my other friend ran around after my dd, my ds and her dd (dh is off work until tomorrow ) but I must say, I was venting to them about ds and his tantrum's and I felt a whole lot better after hearing stories from them! My friends dd (the one who fell rather dramatically down our stairs, is a real runner too and did a total dash out of Boots with a large bottle of cough medicine the other day, and when she yelled out to her "Stop" she stopped, looked at her mother, turned around and threw the bottle as far as she could which smashed everywhere, covering floor, shelving and customers, at which point my friend started crying in the middle of the store, at the same time trying to defend herself to some *itch in the queue to pay, that she haddn't pushed in line and was having a particularly bad day! Suffice to say it made me feel better about ds - and I really felt sorry for her (but not alone) Just come and hang out with me, and they can be obnoxious toddlers together! That DVD thing - yes very impressive! ds is pretty good at knowing which remote does what which is quite a concern, and is getting way too excited about the Play Station controller coming out when it does on the rare occasion!
Lady sounds like you are getting a nice rest at your Mums - don't kill yourself at the house tomorrow! Oh and that crayon thing made me laugh - only because we just introduced ds to them the other day, and sure enough the paper was only interesting to scribble on for about 60 seconds, then next thing dh screeched so loud I thought ds had stabbed himself or something, but he was attempting to draw on the walls - must be the age surely!
Vag I love baby wipes since having kids - more than just the once use I originally thought they were only good for (pre babies)! I use them for everything! Good to know about the crayons coming off walls with them!

Vag have a nice time with your Mum's visit!!

Rubes, I am so sorry for your poor friend. DD throws things in a temper if I say no, too. She can't run off but she would if she could! She has been hitting and pinching me a lot today despite the massive amount of love and attention she gets from Mum and her DP. Spot, it's so hard. I know it feels personal but really it isn't - they push and push at this age and we are the ones they push because we're there and they know we love them come what may. DD has had me at the very limits of my patience many a time, it's a horrrible feeling. If you find any gems in those books, be sure and let us know. And treasure the good bits. Despite her tantrums, DD is so loving. Be easy on yourself and come and let off steam on here. Oh, and I didn't leap out of bed for the chocolate biscuits She is a hoaxer par excellence. She mentions chocolate biscuits several times a day, but has never got through a whole one I don't think, or even a half. But she likes to scrape the chocolate off with a fingernail.

That went before I was ready. I meant to say to Vag that I hope your Mum's visit is nice...and I am so glad I'm not the only one muttering "ffs"...[Grin]

And Rubes, have a lovely London day tomorrow.

Spot everytime I see the Numberjacks I think 'does this really appeal to kids???' so it's good to know it does to at least one. Very surreal show..

Thanks for all the congrats. DH is over the moon - I think I'm happy but also mainly exhausted and terrified. DD is so unbelievably stroppy - case in point, she refused to go to sleep, instead having howling rage/tantrum - until 8. Was then up at 5.30 and has spent last half hour screaming, arching back, kicking an headbutting. This happens about four times a day and can be prompted by the following:

• us giving her the wrong spoon for her breakfast
• putting her clothes on

-taking her shoes off

• breathing in a manner that displeases her

She is unbelievably fussy and stroppy and I feel sorry for this poor baby having her as an older sister already...!

Is anyone roses DC this , well I jab to say thoroughly disagreeable - at times? She's like the girl with he curl in her forehead.. When she is good she's very very cute and when she is bad she is absolutely horrid

So all this just makes me think.. Oh god another one like this and I simply won't be able to cope

Agghhhgg

Bloody iPhone. Roses - elses and Jab - have

By contrast my sisters kids - well they are coming to London in a couple of weeks and my sister says lets go to the zoo. Her kids might be fine on public transport for about 3 hours (there and back) but DD would go absolutely ballistic. It'd be nuclear meltdown if she wasn't out of that pushchair 2 seconds after stopping and then WW4 when shr wasn't allowed to run around the bus/train

Hi Kiwi, congratulations to you :)

Spot and Kiwi, I dont know if this is helpful but what I have found to help is to give them a little bit of control where you can. Ie give them a range of small choices that dont matter (which cup/spoon/trousers etc) do you want to use, what book to you want to read now etc, but offer them a choice of 2 books/coats/spoons so they feel like they have some control over the environment. And then over bedtimes etc there is no negotatiation and it doesnt seem to matter so much to them to be co-operative as long as they have control some of the time. DS1 certainly likes to be given what he percieves as adult choices sometimes. It seems to mean that some things take longer but then some tantrums are avoided. But I think I'm also lazy as I pick my battles so its not a permanent struggle which can get exhausting.

JJ I dont know if its any comfort, but a friend of mine just went through exactly what you are - confirmed 5th disease in her DC1, then the blood tests confirmed she herself wasnt immune, but she didnt get it despite being her childs sole carer while the child was infectious. She did have lots of extra scans, and it was very worrying but now she is holding a lovely baby. I believe you will have a smiliar outcome and hope the 20week scan wll offer some reassurance. I felt angry for her that neither of us had even heard of it before her child was diagnosed, I think pregnant woman should be given the information at the outset of the things that could be of concern, along with all the heatlthy eating bumf and stuff.

Gotta go, being nagged. I wish i was still in bed.

Just quickly as on phone.
Big congrats to kiwi!

Jj I also had the same thing with slapped cheek but it was later in pregnancy so not so worrying. I had two tests and they both came back as not immune meaning that I hadn't had it before but I hadn't caught it. Sorry not sure if that helps! But I have my fingers very crossed that it is ok.
Off to the first wedding today. I shall be wearing the shoes!

Also rubes you asked about wind re dd. Fortunately she is not very windy and when she is it always seems to be in the evening. This is why she is never asleep at 7 as she is always alternately feeding and screaming and then needing to burp. But fortunately she seems very insistent that the burp comes out immeditely so she rarely seems to wake with wind. On the negative side she doesn't do monster long sleeps like your dd though - she did 5 hrs once but it's usually 4 - can't really complain though

Morning...very tired here, DS screaming half the night but not in pain as he shut up as soon as I gave up and put him our bed, grrrrr.

kiwi I think DS was taking your DD's lead last night. He would not go in his cot and is usually very good. So I plonked him on the sofa in his gro-bag, after he realised I wasn't going to let him shuffle around the lounge like ET he gave in and fell asleep just after 8 when I managed to carry him upstairs and plonk him in his cot.

veggie I hope DS1 doesn't say that to your mum. The other day I heard DD say to DS when he was annoying her "oh for pity's sake"! Enjoy your mum's visit.

lady Love the crayoning on walls, DS just tends to eat them.

spot I know just how you are feeling. I could have happily just abandoned DS at toddler group on Monday when he was so mean and naughty. Its so frustrating knowing that they are really such loving/happy little things. But they really do want to push those boundaries...is T a good talker? I know that DS isn't and I'm pretty sure Rubes DS isn't very talkative yet I think a lot of their 'misbehaviour' is frustration at not really being able to communicate very well. At least thats what I tell myself.

trace i hope you feel better about everything today and have a lovely weekend.

oh jj what a worry for youon topof the sickness. I'm sure everything will be okay.

summer Enjoy the wedding, hope the shoes are comfy.

Kiwi DS2 & DS1 have very different personalities that seems to compliment each other. Basically DS2 one is loud & screamy & DS1 is incredible tolerant! Also DS1 loves the number jacks. He has always loved numbers & loves math now. We also quite liked it because it was filmed around millwall docks near where we used to live. Oh & of course the acting is incredible don't you think, truly flawless [:)]

Just putting DS2 down for his nap. Picked mum up this morning, DS1 came with me & was so excited. I think DS2 is a bit baffled by it all & a bit over stimulated. Mum bought him a toy echidna which he's a bit scared of. Also he wasn't very impressed when I got up & just left him this morning. I think a good sleep will do him good.

hello all, sorry for going awol and thanks for those who missed me. i don't know why, but just haven't felt like posting. been doing a bit of catching up, so can say a humungous CONGRATS to kiwi, fingers crossed and all that, i understand ladybaby mark2 is on her way next week, spot is having a tough time, poor lamb, and countless other things which i have no doubt forgotten.

dh and i have just had a wonderful 3 days and nights on our own on the suffolk coast, having left madam with dad and ladyfriend (lf). dh finished and recorded the new series and has probably had the most stressful month of his life - he really needed a break. now, the plus side of lf being so wonderful with madam is enormous - but the screaming fits and tetchiness since we have come back are obviously the negative sides. lf made such a big deal how she has been delightful and wonderful and such a good girl since we've been gone. and we come back, and we have tantrum upon tantrum upon tantrum. and we are due back home this afternoon, without lf, so i am somewhat dreading it.

kiwi - you are not alone being terrified about how to cope with two of them. me, too. and even when madam sounds much easier to handle than your little one.

can i ask - when did people feel number 2 move - earlier/later/same time as number 1? just getting a little anxious and impatient - felt madam at 22 weeks, and am now 18 weeks. i think i might have felt something yesterday but can't be sure. scan isn't for another 2.5 weeks, so will be 21 weeks. and after a last antenatal appt where the consultant couldn't find the heartbeat for love nor money with the sonicaid (that's 20 minutes of my life i'd like back, please), and had an emergency scan to make sure things are ok, would like some reassurance that all is fine.

am finding it quite hard to remain upbeat at the moment. i succumb very easily to pessimism and melancholy and have realised that is my default mode at the moment. not good. need to cheer myself up.

madam did a wee on the loo the other day. bless. still not venturing into potty training - waiting until she is a bit more consistent with her "wee" "toilet" and they actually mean wee and toilet, instead of "pay me some attention".

hope you are all well.

Right, catchup time! I'm at my desk, work is quiet, I've got some rolos healthy snacks, ready to go...!

WG lovely to see you back, you've been missed. God bless lf, she does sound wonderful. Re movements, I've had quite a few kicks but then it seems that mine are blooming overactive from the getgo [sit still for a moment child!] I woudn't be too worried given that you didn't feel madam for a while yet. Pop to Cambridge and DH will find the heartbeat in a snap, it's a gift he's got. God knows where from!

Summer hope the shoes are doing their funky red thang for you :) and you've got good weather wherever you are.

NJAN/Spot/DB/rubes, the being a pain thing. Yes. I've been trying to give dd a bt of choice so that there's not loads of "Nooooo!!!" and one thing I read is that if you avoid asking yes or no questions, they have to try and think more positively. EG not "Do you want to get in the buggy?" but "Do you want to get in the buggy yourself, or shall I help you?". Saying that, dd completely doesn't understand the concept of either/or yet, I try offering choices "red jumper or blue jumper?" and she just says Yes and grabs them both at exactly the same time.

Lady at chocolate biscuits! We get that sort of thing, she lies there in the morning going through all her vocab (which isn't much yet) so we get Mummy, daddy, apple juice, owl etc. It's v cute but not as cute as chocolate biscuits! How is the eating going, is she any more enthused by being offered choices? Hope your back gets better after the mammoth travelling, keep up the rest before the big day.

spot must say I'm very impressed with T's technological abilities, have you read http://www.amazon.co.uk/Baby-Brains-Robomum-Simon-James/dp/1406302406/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1285421753&sr=8-4 Baby Brains and robomum if not you must! it sounds just right for T.

DB do get your back pain checked if it returns, kidneys can be v bad if you get an infection. anti-b's may be the answer.

rubes I have no advice on the windiness, dd was much the same as a nipper. THings like cycling her legs didn't seem to help as it was top wind rather than bottom (ahem) so we kept her upright in the sling as much as possible but even that didn't do much. Maybe some babes are just burpier than others?

Oh quickly on the subject of books - someone absolutely months ago recommended the Baby's catalogue by the Ahlbergs, it is brilliant. I adore the page of accidents, especially the look on the face of the baby who fell in the loo :)

veggie you did make me laugh with your imitation of parroting ds1! I think dd's phrase would be "oh bollocking heck. She does a very good "oh no" though after lots of readings of Bear hunt :)

njan thanks for the positive story, I know I'm being a worrier but this is a pretty scary thing and all the scarier for the fairly high proportion of people who get bad results if they're infected. I would ask my dad if I had it as a nipper, but reckon it would be another of the Oh I can't remember, your mum dealt with all that sort of thing.

dd's temperature was still pretty high this morning but dh says she seems better now, so hopefully it's passing, whatever 'it' is. We don't think it's teeth as the redness isn't like her incredible red cheeks last time, plus she's eating and drinking as usual which suggests no gum trouble. Anyway, will see what the bloods say when the results come back.

JJ you can be immune to something like slap cheek (or 5th disease) without ever knowingly had it. Still thinking of you of course, I really feel for you. I can't imagine how terrified I'd be.

WG you poor thing after the fright of them having trouble finding the heartbeat and your previous MCs your really not getting a chance to feel relaxed in this pregnancy. By way of reassurance, I started feeling the little butterfly flutter feelings that were movements for DS1 at around 18 weeks but with DS2 I didn't really feel them at all, it just kind of went straight to that obvious light kick feel around 20 weeks. I wonder if our uterus' isn't as sensitive the 2nd time around. Also if they had trouble finding the heartbeat could it be that LO is deep deep down or something. Im actually into the idea of you going to see Mr JJ see if he can fibd the heartbeat

wg lovely to hear from you again. LF sounds wonderful, can we rent her out? Re moving I think I was about 24 wks with DD and around 20ish for DS. Pop to see MrJJ if you can, its such a worry that you could really do without.

JJ Good to hear DD is picking up a bit - how are you doing?

Well tonight DS said 'doughnut', well more like 'dooonut' and yes he was having one for dessert at the time!

Well Chinese take away on order, some bubbly cheerfulness - a win on the lotto will make my day complete

Am knackered and painting so forgive brevity of post but just wanted to say to WG quickly that fwiw I felt this baby move WEEKS later than DD, when I thought, and may even have read, that it is often t'other way round. It wasn't until about 20 wks at least. Once she started, though, she has been much livelier.