FESH spa and creche: Is anyone thinking of the children yet?

[SkiHorseWonAWean]

New Fred. Apologies for dullness of title - we need curly for witticisms.

Cos that all sounds just really lovely, and good on your husband for being a rock. I know ventouse couldn't have been much fun but I admire your positivity around the whole birth experience. Did you have any pain relief at all bearing in mind the episiostomy??

I also like your bath and pouring water on back tip. It is all being filed away (just hope I remember these things). I can't recall what weight he was in the end??

Anyway, many congratulations again and I am delighted it was such a positive experience. x

Fabulous cos . Sounds like you were in control of things despite a few concerns which is wonderful. I'm so pleased for you and Artie is adorable .

oooh cossie it all sounds great - mucho admiration from sw london. He is gorgeous and you look really well and happy. So glad you are feeding ok and really positive about everything. Congratulations!

Have ventured downstairs tonight, for OH's delish home-made pizza and wine, and a quick tappity-tap on the computer. I have a little laptop upstairs but the connection on it is so slow I am finding it really annoying. So apologies if anyone had made a monumentous announcement and I have not acknowledged it. I have been busy . And high-five to Cos and Skates, my fellow birthees! Fab story Cos, and Skates - get on with yours, I am curious about posh births .

Here's a bit more in detail about Tuesday morning for me. As mentioned, Clucky's DD had spread a little bit of toddler party cheer around our household and DD had caught it too and was a bit under the weather. She was in bed with us not being very happy. I woke up and felt a bit queasy and wondered whether I had the bug too. Rolled over and went back to sleep. At 1.45am I thought that this was a weird tummy bug, it was coming in regular waves, but still tummy bug-ish. So I timed the waves at 7 mins apart and at just after 2am I rang my IM and told her I thought there was the possibility of imminent labour. I didn't think I was in labour. She said she'd pop over and have a quick look at me and then kip on our sofa. Then I woke OH and told him I thought I might be about to go into labour and after establishing it was gone 2am, my waters had not gone, and I could actually talk to him he declared he had no reason to be awake and he went back to sleep. A little while later I decided they were contractions and told OH to ring Clucky for childcare. He said he had arranged to take DD to Clucky's when the IM got there. He was convinced he had days to sort that out in. About 10 minutes later I told him to get Clucky here right now. He queried if things were starting to hurt and DD decided this was a really interesting conversation so we sat in bed discussing how getting babies out of a small door was possibly going to be a bit sore and it was time for her to go to her friend's house. She was very excited about it all. I can't remember who arrived first - Clucky and the IM arrived about the same time and DD was whisked off quietly by Clucky who did a fab job of looking after her.

At this point I was beginning to get a bit concerned about my CS scar. The only discomfort I was having was a very distinct dull ache across my lower abdomen. With DD I felt the contractions across my whole abdomen and back and they were very powerful and long, with gaps between them. This was just one long dull ache very localised, and I queried why it was happening all the time and not letting up between contractions. The IM said that it was because there were no 'betweenss' - I was just having one really huge big long contraction. She took one look at me on arrival (3.15-30 ish am)and told me that if we were going to get to the hospital I had to get in the car asap and that I had to be prepared for a possible delivery on the way. (We live about 40 mins drive at high speed from the hospital, probably considerably longer if you have a labouring woman yelling at you to take it slowly round the corners!) Alternatively she said she could send OH to get her homebirth kit out, examine me fully and sort out pain relief. Having stated categorically that the only way I was going to have a baby at home was if it just dropped out, she explained that was exactly what was happening. I was fully dilated and she called the second MW. She arrived at about 5am, just in time for the contraction to change from one big one to shorter, more powerful ones.

The second MW decided she agreed the baby was going to be there very soon, and they sat me down on the birth stool with OH behind me. At this point we remembered about the existence of G&A Fab stuff! I didn't use it for every contraction though, because I didn't really feel I needed it all the time, just sometimes. (With DD I think I just breathed G&A for 24hrs!) This is when it got a bit bizarre. I didn't push as I had decided I was going to breathe the baby out, and he felt like he was actually crawling out! I could feel him squiming around trying to get out. The IM said his HB was fine though so all was well with him. Eventually we could feel his head at the vaginal opening, and I just sat there thinking 'this is veeerry strange!' and wondering what the 'ring of fire' was going to feel like as I was sure that was the next thing on the list! The MWs were both peering up my chuff, apparently interested in a red patch that was appearing at the side of the opening when suddenly the head shot out with a pop! And a whole lot of blood. It would seem I had a varicosity there that had burst and torn the side of the vagina. Great. They didn't tell me that right then though, as the body still had to come out. The baby was wriggling like mad and squirming around still, and they got me to put my hands down to reach out and catch him, and the next contraction pushed him out at warp speed! I never pushed at any point. He was born at 5.59am, less than 4 hours after I called the midwife, when I still wasn't sure if it was just a stomach bug I had. I caught him and pulled him up onto my chest and sat there feeling absolutely triumphant - I had sneezed out a baybee, it didn't really hurt, and it had all been so easy and I hadn't pushed, and he had slithered out so neatly I was convinced I was going to be looking like a virgin 'down there' still.

That was when the 2 MWs notched up the urgency of their actions in getting the placenta out, which I thought was weird given the long conversations about a natural 3rd stage we'd had. It turns out I lost that much blood in one gush they thought I might be having a big placental problem of some kind and wanted to minimize any further bleeding. Once the placenta was out (also easy! That was a cough rahter than a sneeze though,) they were able to establish it was the burst varicosity that had bled, and I lost about 500mls of blood in under a minute - with DD I lost 900ml over 2 hrs. So after a cuddle and a clean up an ambulance was called for.

The other thing about home births I was worried about was that an ambulance might not be able to find our house down it's little track in the woods. As it happened the driver was the same one who had been called out to collect the little old lady who used to live here before us, when she died. So he knew exactly where to come. And off we went to the hospital, where I spent the rest of the day getting increasingly irate at hospital staff before finally discharging myself against medical advice. But that's a post for another day!

Sounds like another gentile sneeze! I'll have one of those please Bob! So tell us box is he the most cutesy thing you have ever seen?

On a seperafe note - did young horse go ODE'ing last weekend?

We went to a chums for takeaway last night which was Nice except that my stomach is now the size of a walnut and couldn't even manage half and was desperately sad to see it being thrown away. Tho after having being up in the night every two hours needing to wee Nd then this morning having a bit of an upset tum I glad I couldn't eat more.

Today is active birthing workshop!! Let's hope
it's a good 'un!! I am now thinking perhaps curry wasn't such a great idea last night as I don't want to trump my way through the stretching / active birthing positions bit. If I do I suppose it won't be the first time.

Got to go out and buy some larger tracky bottoms as my ones are now really uncomfortable. So gotta to do that along with a million other things before the workshop.

Happy weekends PESHes.

Huge congrats to this week's layers.

cossie I think you did remarkably well and although it wasn't what you were after, it does rather sound like the whole thing was over relatively quickly - and I'm so glad that TGO is positive about it - as you say, his worst nightmare! I loved your flickr pictures - absolutely gorgeous and you all look so happy. Artie has an absolutely wonderful head of hair and is fabulous!

Well done boxer - again, a quick one although not sure about the panic which followed - you do like a drama don't you?

silver Well if you feel like that, why bother buying trackie bottoms when you could just sneeze out a baybee instead?

I went and got my basket out of the shed this morning and clipped it on to the front of my bicycle to go to the supermarket then realised I'd not picked up the key to the bike... quick change of plan and decided to take the car and go via the gym and actually sign up rather than just "meaning" to. First Body Pump class on Tuesday yay! :)

Think my fury at jailbait this week may well have been related to Droid Rage - something I've not had to live with for a long time!

Thanks all, FP yes, I was v calm throughout - I had been reading the hippo birthing and was thinking calming thoughts and all that jazz, and kept thinking of my 24 hour races and how the contractions were just like climing the big hill on the course!

Okie, I had about 2 hours of G&A and then a local anaesthetic while he did the episiotomy so I think that numbed the pain of crowning nicely, as by then I had ditched the G&A as I found it was distracting me from pushing.

ski despite me saying he is categorically not a ginger, actually we have decided there is a definite tinge to his hair as for speed of it all, I went from 0cm dilated, to him being born in 8 hours, which isn't bad at all if you ask me.

I just can't get over how amazing it all is and I can't stop staring at him. I'm torn between excitement at each little change in him we've already noticed and desperate sadness that he's already a different baybee to the one put on my chest on Sunday night. A very weird mix of emotions.

boxy Amazing! You never pushed, you didn't feel you needed G&A, and you sneezed out a baby without it really hurting.

cos You still sound calm.

I know what you mean about the changes. MrP put it nicely. He said 'I desperately want him to grow up, but at the same time I want him to stay exactly the same as he is now.'

Today's stage is just lovely. When I kiss him on the cheek he smiles and coos at me!
I am kissing him a lot.

Awww I can't wait to be smiled at!!! We are getting a lot of wind smiles but mostly just lip smacking and tongue poking. Oh that'll be another feed then!

I think boxy wins the sneezing prize

Haha! The ironic thing now is that I have to be careful with actual real sneezes atm, in order to prevent any undue stretching of the undercarriage

Obviously new baybee is the fabulous thing since DD. I sat and looked at everyone tucked up in my bed the other day - OH, DD and new baybee and thought 'how marvellous is this?' I am very, very happy indeed . The other thought that keeps on going through my head is 'this just dropped out of me!' - a thought that is particularly prevalent when people comment on what a big lad he is. I am still amazed he flew out so quickly!. He is incredibly strong too - already trying to lift his head. DD was obviously not well when she was born but didn't do any of this independent moving stuff till she was about 3 months old (and hasn't looked back since ) but DS is looking around already. He's fab!

Last night we had one of those nights that first time round was a night of complete panic, but with number 2 we just rolled our eyes and went 'ah, yes.' First of all he pooed a bucket of poo, which then made him feel empty, which then made him feed for hours, which made my rasps sore, and gave him tummy ache, which meant he wouldn't sleep, and I couldn't cuddle him because of aforementioned rasp-sore-ness. OH did his magic hands thing which soothed him, and we swaddled him and bunged him in the cot and let him suck my finger before he slumped off to sleep for hours. The size of my boobs was what woke me up this morning - talk about over-inflated beach balls! We had to do an emergency getting out of the breast pump to deflate them enough for DS to feed again.

Silver - racehorse didn't go to RH. I have neglected the yard for a bit, but apparently he went to a Parelli lesson instead (clearly I need to get back out there and get things back under control!) where he had a 'disagreement' with the instructor and demonstrated his desire not to be part of the lesson any more by jumping out of the arena gate! He is off for his first hunting tomorrow - OH is going to take me to follow for a little while in the car.

Anyway - here's what happened at the hospital.(I'll try and be briefer, but it's not in my nature ) We arrived and were assessed, and it was decided it would be straightforward to stich me but a spinal block would be the best analgesic, so off I went to theatre, leaving DS with OH and the IM. The surgeon was fab - a huge big black man who couldn't stop laughing and telling jokes. He really put me at ease and kept me smiling throughout. I was lying there thinking 'here I am again, flat on my back with my legs in the air and can't feel a thing, but it's so much different this time round.' He and the anaesthetist seemed to think I could go home as soon as I got the feeling back in my legs. So off I went to the ward for a little while.

They put me in high dependency, which I wasn't happy with and kept on trying to pay for a private room, but they said that was were they wanted me. They kept wheeling other people in who had had EmCS, who were attached to machines-that-go-bong, and were vomitting every few minutes. And the most annoying thing of all was the chav in the bed next door who had all of her family - her vastly extended family - yattering away in whiny nasal tones at the tops of their voices for fucking hours. She kept on going on loudly about how she had had to have the CS because she was in labour for 12 hours last time. I wanted to say 'fuck off, my last labour was 42hrs and I just managed to sneeze this one out in 4' but I bit my tongue. She then started to go on about how she had chosen 2 names for her baby, one of which would sound a bit rough because she drops her H's but she went for that one because she decided at the last moment that the other name was a bit poncy. Go on - can you guess what the poncy name was....?

Anyway, after a couple of hours my poncy daughter came to visit for a little while since it was apparent the doctors were to busy to let me go. She was still not well though so she left again very quickly, and I ramped up my escape effort. It seemed I needed to see a doctor, but they were all busy. Then a doctor (not the nice black one) dived out briefly to say I would have to have my catheter tube taken out before I go him (you don't say!) and I would have to prove I could wee unaided. And then he went off again without taking the offending cathether tube out. Now it is really hard to prove you can wee when you have a catheter in. So I kept asking - being increasingly insistent! - and eventually got a really slimy doctor come and tell me that he was keeping me in hospital overnight 'for my own good.' I didn't say it, but I did think that it wouldn't be for my good - or the good of the woman in the bed next door who I WAS going to throttle - but I smiled sweetly, asked him to come back in 5 minutes, checked the facts with my IM, and then called him back in. I told him I understood what he was saying, but that I had decided not to take his advice and if he took my tube out right that minute I would be happy to provide a wee to show I could and then I wanted my drugs and to be out of there. He sighed, and said he wanted 2 samples filling a pot - and handed me 2 pint jugs! I guzzled as much water as I could and managed to fill them in less than an hour, and the hospital MWs let me go after that.

Finally, we got to the hospital door where we were prevented by security from leaving with an unidentified baby! It turns out that I had been admitted as a patient, but no record had been made of DS on arrival. As such, I was down as a solo patient, no child attached. We had to get him tagged with hospital security tags back on the ward, and then we were allowed to leave, and we cut the tags off as soon as we were out of the door . I know they have to have security but even so, this was just paying it lip service.

Eventually we got back home, my fab IM was there waiting for us, 13 hours after DS had just slipped out, and everything has been well since. I am officially on a week's bed rest but that is just to speed up the healing of my bits. And that's all going well so far too.

A final note - having seen me calmly face my fears and give birth at home, OH has been phoning up for loans for the extension, which until now he had said I would have to go back to work and work harder for, and not build until I'd saved enough for it. Ah, isn't love great?

box all I cansay is - wow. :)

silver how did the active birthing go?

cossie your birth story sounds good - and v. much like mine in alot of ways! Although yours was far faster... you do sound v lovely and calm. In the first week I spent alot of time in tears that one day piglet will leave home - and alot of time with happy tears!

boxy that is a v exciting birth story! But shame it ended in a hosp trip for you.

I has no news really - except I have a lovely baby all day until 5pm - then I have screamella... what's that about?! Good nights sleep last night (for us) so quite cheery today...

Wow Box what an epic journey! The birth sounds amazing but I am sorry the undercarriage took a bit of a hammering! what is a varicosity? (naive emoticon).

Sorry you ended up back in hospital - I hope it doesn't tarnish your whole memory of what sounds like a mostly positive experience. I quite like the idea of a week long bed rest TBH and think we should all adopt that approach irrespective of the birth outcome..

Kind of a big varicose vein thing, I think Okie. I am still over the moon with the way it went - although would have preferred intact crotch and not to have to see a hospital at all! But hey. Did I say it already - I just SNEEZED!!!! The rest is just fluff.

org the workshop was really good. Run by a MW from the local hospital. Think wencould have got more out of it if me and HI had not spent the morning at each others throats. As part of the intros we had to say why we thought the other would make a good parent and the only things I could think of were tainted with sarcasm and venom.

It covered the anatomy of labour and the stages and the amazingness that is a baby's instinct during this stage.

We worked on positions to help get the baby in the correct postion eg LOA with it's back to your tummy and how to keep it there. So no more semi reclining for me. Also birthing positions, keeping off your back. I didn't know that you can have an epidural and still be on all fours. Massage techniques for the men to use as well as how to breathe.

HI found it useful and at least he now has a role to play and feels involved.

silvie I think, but I'm not sure, that you'd have to have a mobile epi for that which not all offer. I mean it makes sense.

Oh I'm a huge fan of optimal foetal positioning having had a B2B labour with LC. Comma was in a great position - much better. But I spent hours and hours over weeks just leaning over the preggo ball or sitting back over on a chair.

Sorry you and HI are not best friends still :(

I am gonna have to get a ball or a chair that I can sit backwards on as all I have at the mo is laying on my side on the sofa or the floor as our couch is a big no no. It's horrible not being able to find anywhere comfortable. It's the simplest of things that is enuff to push a gal over the edge.

HI will be ok. We tend to have the odd spat. Very rarely he fights back! It all kicked off after the workshop again cos we were walking to the car. I was carrying the two bottles of water and then he gives me the two pillows to also carry. He is carrying nothing. I am knackered and walking slowly. So I say why am I carrying everything and then he bites my head off saying he was going to get Us a snack. Communication is not his strong point I tell thee.

Silver do you want my preggo ball?

boxer When you say your daughter has a "poncey" name - is this also the same daughter whose name has appeared on mn's "chav" lists? In which case you should be absolutely fucking delighted that Berkshire's chavviest family deigned her name too posh for them!

lol@ "sarcasm & venom" - wow, you are months ahead of where I was at that stage silver! Seriously though, have you been able to get any help with the horse - I do worry that it is too much and if you end up sliced and diced like I was you won't be carrying haybales for a while! Even lifting her saddle on now still makes me "creak".

I cried off my girl's night out last night, feeling self-conscious and mis, some are as thick as mince, wanted to stay soberish for big ride this morning - and... looked at my little boy and decided I didn't want to be anywhere else!

rots that would be brilliant as I can't see myself being able to get one before next weekend as got lots on.

ski Its my hormones making me crazy and hateful at times. In fact since being preggo I have never loved HI more. The flip side being that the bits that annoy me seem to be uber magnified. Plus when he fights back I dig my heels and become the most stubborn moo going.

Regarding my four legged mate new sharer has passed the trial period. She is a very lovely kind person who wants to do more than just ride. She ain't the greatest rider but figure for hacking a couple of times a week all will be ok. I'll get the saddle checked with her in it to make sure it fits cos she won't know. Basically I am gonna chat to her next week about the plan o action when things start happening with me and I'll arrange for her to do the majority of stuff (need to show how to muck out without throwing all the decent beddig away and costing me a fortune) and I will ask another livery to keep a quiet eye Esp as her technique for tying up the haynet looks more like spaghetti junction and it would come down easily in the stable!! guess she could put hay on the floor but then it gets dragged and mushed into the bed.

ski lovely sunny day here. Perfect for a ride out. In my dreams! I have everything crossed for not needing a CS, apart from the old legs!!

Box bloody hell lady, what a story. 2nd time around definitely was quicker as predicted. Sounds great to me! Hope you are doing ok now with your pelvic floor etc. You'll be back on the horse in no time!

silver ball definitely good idea. I am also at that stage of sofa is just not cutting it anymore and the ball is actually alot better. Considering how much pain I was in before my wedding last year doing crunches on that fucking thing, is quite ironic. Thank god I didn't throw it out.

On the ball front - did anyone find it tricky to lean on comfortably? It makes my boobs hurt a bit and obviously can't lean on tummy. I sort of put my forearms down and lean on those, but short of cutting off my boobs no other way I spose.

To make you feel better silver, we have also been bickering like cat and dog. About everything. I feel like he is not getting into the whole hippo thing enough and want him to practise with me etc. All I get is not tonight I'm tired. (also applies to sex - yes I know -, washing up and other household chores) All I want is a little enthusiasm and to not feel I have to do everything. Moan moan. I'm not going to. Am in GOOD MOOD today. EVeryone else is hungover in bed. Came down at 830 to cook brekky for everyone and Mr Moo has just come down and had a go at me for dog scratching at door which i didn't realise. Calmly said nothing and let him go back to bed. What self control....

OFP is ESSENTIAL, whether first, second or 30th time. I didn't know about it first time and by the time I was told DD was B2B she was also fully engaged and it was nigh on impossible to turn her. I did OFP as a precaution this time, and it seems to have worked. Also, if you do get a stubbornly B2B baby an osteo and reflexologist can help here. The biggest no-no though is slumping on the sofa.

Silver "the amazingness that is a baby's instinct during this stage." Yes! I was gobsmacked at the amount of physical activity DS showed during his birth. The MW said he just knew the best way out, and he did. (I fear DD may not have inherited my famous navigation skills, but am sure DS has! ) That was the weirdest feeling though.

Ski my daughter has the name of strong and powerful queens of old. Chavvy she is not! But one woman's common is anotherr woman's posh, and I don't care what Mrs Shrill in the bed next door thinks .

Anyway - I have found something that makes me go 'ooh, ow!' Engorgement. Oh, yes, he is one strong little sucker, my boy, and after showing no interest the first day is now booby-mad. Except at 3am when I have a pair of bowling balls stuck to my front. Last night saw me trying to wake a sleeping baby to get him to relieve the pressure - I am sure you are not supposed to wake a baby that is sleeping well!

Also I have had a look at my hospital release notes to discover there is absolutely no info at all on them other than that I left against their advice. Great. What notes were they making for the rest of the day?

Well, back to bed now! Trying to ignore the noise from the yard that suggests that ma Jennie has once again left the racehorse on the other side of the fence to the Shitland and he has just popped over for a kiss.

boxer It's a name I've toyed with myself - regal and Frech - what's not to like? Unless you hover outside Primark in Newbury high st I suppose...

Well I am just back from my first big hack and it was brilliant - she was a little nappy at a couple of junctions due to not having been ridden forward - but mummy doesn't stand for that shit. One very fast gallop - where all I could think of was "don't break your arms, you won't be able to hold your baybee" - and some absolutely spanking extended trots. Amaaaaaaaazing! :) Little Bear saved me a 5am feed and slept through to 7 this morning which was great (up at 3 as normal). Cannihavethesametomorrowpls?

Jailbait brought home an "In the night garden" toy - it's an iggledypiggeldy or something and sings. :( Pls to remove batteries?