FESH spa and creche: Is anyone thinking of the children yet?

[SkiHorseWonAWean]

New Fred. Apologies for dullness of title - we need curly for witticisms.

I'm with you girls. I cannot wait to get back to work and have spent the last week bouncing phonecalls with this guy in London telling him I want to work at x, y and z company - get me a job! I am really looking forward to getting back to work. I love Bear to bits, but internet/TV does not rool my world. :( He's lovely 'n' all - but how stimulating is eating, sleeping and shitting?

rots Is fine to send after weekend, I doubt they'll reach you until the weekend anyway and I've got the 4 popper ones, so as long as I stay on top of the washing it's all good. The fleece ones now don't have to be folded over, just the bamboo ones so it's all good. NOOOOO leaks at all these days so am very happy.

Polly I've suffered terrible depression in the past and I don't want it to return (obviously) - and I'm not sure it is - I jsut feel very frustrated. I'm also ( ) wondering if jailbait should just fuck off and leave me to it - should I send him packing? :(

I made a terrible mistake - he asked if we could get the sports package on the TV - as it was only 3.95 a month I figured why not? Turns out, it wasn't to watch anything specifically... we can watch stupid high school fucking baseball games. :( Sports package = 3.95, new TV + DVD player for bedroom = 600, destruction of relationship = priceless.

The good thing about that toy shop is that it's stacked with "english speaking" toys which are reduced to cheap as chips, also mamas & papas stuff dead cheap. Zer Dutch obviously hold no sway with funky English stuff.

Last time I went to the HV she kept asking "are you OK?" - actually, she asked about 10 times and I remember thinking at the time that her questioning really got on my tits. I feel OK - bar unfulfilled - but I suppose for some people it will have been the only person asking if you were OK.

rots Jamie's got a fresh fig recipe - I shall dig it out later and email it to you. It's in his first book if you have it.

ski I hear you all over the fucking place

Just about to book boarding in Saas Fee. V much looking forward to that

ski erm I'm not waiting for yours to come back b4 I send the others .

Given that I DID walk out from my first son's father I can't say much to you all other than please hang in there :(

Having a new baby is soooo tough on a relationship and there's also a feeling I got of having my baby (LC I mean) now and he and I only needed each other and noone else. But, of course, while it feels like blokes can come and go and our bubs will always be ours, that's not true. When my boys are grown it will be YOB who sticks around.

Keep talking to your men, girls. There's a reason you were with them and why you had bubs with them. ski however, I would personally take down the telly, or at least insist on limiting the viewing. I'm sure that JB wouldn't want to do something that would really upset you if he really knew it :(

Milky tweaks all round.

Phew... thought we might have been invaded by earth mothers knitting their own yoghurt with SS on speed dial. So glad I 'fessed up to the boring baybees bit. I loves 'em I do, but gawd.... . I much prefer the toddler bit. Not something I ever thought I'd hear myself say!

Agree with Rots that introducing a baybee into a partnership can farking stressful. I too struggled with the 'might as well kick him out' feelings for quite a while, but it did pass and was probably mostly down to lack of sleep/hormones/period of adjustment etc. TG is a brilliant father but does not do multi-tasking. He cannot for instance play with Boo after putting on dishwasher/feeding dog/insert any other daily inane household task. He does one or the other. I find it in-fucking-furiating still! On the other hand, having previously been a slutty layabout lazyarse, I have amazed myself at my powers of organisation/energy/ability to multi-task.

Anyway, I'm getting distracted. My point was that relationships often suffer when a new baybee arrives. Don't boot JB out just yet Ski, you may be amazed to find yourself falling in love with him all over again at some point. And like Rots* says, the kids grow up and leave... I'd get rid of the bloody sports channel though - or at least ban him from watching it while you and Bear are in the house.

*if you can avoid killing him in the meantime.

Polly Are you kidding? All the FESHes are bastards - apologies if I've accidentally included an earth mother. :(

You and rots both speak sense wrt "this too shall pass". I'm sure it will.

cunty If we ditch 'em can I come to Saas Fee with you and you can come to St. Anton with me?

I should point out - new TV/DVD in bedroom was not so he could watch it in there - but so I can "escape" - I find the TV on for lack of purpose infuriating and off-putting. Makes my face bleed. :(

Anyway I've been to the stables and had a really nice ride this afternoon so at least that was positive.

Shuffle up everyone. Or at least keep my seat warm till I can figure out a way of getting a computer into my bed. I have told to be on bed rest for at least a week to ensure that my pelvic-floor-of-steel springs back from it's little unfortunate incident, and quite frankly I am enjoying lying in bed while people bring me stuff. All going well with little boy here, and not a lot to report about me other than tea tree oil is my new best friend! Will pop back tomorrow to give the full gory account. It would seem that whichever way I give birth it has to include at least a pint of blood on the floor somewhere along the way.

Good to hear from the Other Side Boxy. I too quite like the sound of lying in bed and getting people to bring me stuff... . However, I would generally prefer not to have undercarriage ripped to shreds first...

SKi I didn't mean any of us lot... just general MN lurkers/stalkers who ran out of mung beans to crochet. I know we are all black-hearted bastards, tis why I like it here!

pols ditto here. Him Indoors haz called me a hard bitch before.

Off to Devon this afternoon for the weekend. Can't wait - Minehead Beer Festival on Sunday! Rastus's milk will have a head on it

And this is why I love you all - Fuck the mandarin classes, fuck the lentil weaving, humous eating pre-learning classes - take the baybee to a beer festival!

silver I hope we are your kind of people - gotta admit, NCT would not have been my "cup of tea".

boxer More blood confessions pls!

Pls to hear gory details about skater/cosmosis ?

skizer trust me - all the ESHes of all varieties are my kind of people. Trooooooof.

Ha ha! Definite hard bitch here too.

Was at neighbour's 50th last weekend and she asked to hold Clyde... cue clucking and cooing and lots of 'Oh, I just love babies.'

Call me weird, but he's my baby and even I don't get this, and in fact find it mildly offensive. I don't 'love babies' - I love my children. But I can't wait until they are a bit bigger so they can start telling me their thoughts and showing me what kind of people they are. This generic 'love babies' thing is as if they don't actually want the kids to start growing up and showing any personality.

But then I was always the only woman in the office who would rather run off to a meeting with the auditors than be present when someone on ML was 'bringing their baby into work today'.

I have pinpointed the absolute worst thing about having a baybee. It is not :

• lack of sleep
• ripped undercarriage
• seeping c-section scars
• failure to breastfeed
• relationship destruction

It's cunting strangers talking to you. I like going out without Bear, I'm just me then - no bugger feels they've a right to start up a cunting conversation.

fanny haha, when I was diffed a colleague brought her baybee in for "cooing" - I didn't go over. Emailed her after to say I was contagious!

ski Our NCT group was suprisingly PESHly. It was an odd group put on at the last minute for the disorganised types who had missed out on other groups (or in one case, didn't realise she was pregnant - true BESH had been told she was having early menopause until someone did a pg test at 22 weeks!).

Of the five couples, four were late 30s/40s and three were having elective c-sections. Luckily the course teacher was a BESH sympathiser so she adjusted the content and included lots of straight talk and swearing.

I did feel sorry for the odd-ones out - a sweet young christian couple. Was all a bit of a shock for them to be thrown in with us lot!

ski Possible solutions to your problem:

• start talking in another language
• say you're just the nanny
• say you don't know whose baby it is as you just found the buggy over there

??

When I was researching the buggy etc I was more interested in buggies rather than taking any notice of the babies in the buggies. Weird non??

I think we have a "very nice sweet couple" in our group. Who I am sure at some point I will no doubt offend. Obv unintentionally of course.

Today I haz mainly ocnsumed chocolate - choccie croissant for brekkie and just munched two choccie biscuits. Will have some proper lunch in a mo.

ski forgot to say if you are paying travel expenses Him Indoors can be with you imminently for his "Scrubber in the buff premier".

lol @ "adustment to include facts straight talking and swearing"! Btw - thank you fanny for the cot elevation tip - so successful was it that I woke at 3:21 am convinced he was dead as there was silence... had to squeeze the palm of his hand to make him move - then he woke up and demanded milk.

silver meh - tell her not to carry too many cupcakes - tell her that a friend of a friend - honest troof mate - carried too many cupcakes and her baybee fell out. Then offer her an eclair and a sickly smile.

Thank you kindly for the hubby offer - pls to send nekkid photos and proof of dusting capabilities? n.b., should not dust with nekkid bits but instead acquire duster.

Ski please don't despair with JB. I recall a rather lovely post you made just afer bear was born saying he had wiped your bum and being through quite a bit himself and you had a new found respect and greater love for him which I thought was really quite touching. Yes, blokes can be irritating and fuck you off but it is a period of adjustment for them too. Maybe you could go out just the 2 of you for a few hrs one night and have a few drinks? Or you could slap him in the face and see if that helps?

Yes, babies are boring. I remember arranging a lot of activities just to get me out of the house - often 3 or 4 different things a day including mundane things like going to the supermarket (a 2 mile walk there and 2 mile walk back) for a pint of milk or wandering aimlessly around the library. I could not stand being in the house - it would drive me mad and I found he needed far more "entertaining" than I thought he would and that he did not sleep all day like I was expecting!

ski Him Indoors haz own dusting equipment and selection of polishes to suit all tastes. Will a starkers shot whilst holding a dirty duster suffice?

Although if the little shite does not answer his phone (I have called three times) anytime soon I could well be sending him to you for an indefinite period. Treat him as you desire. I haz no use for him at the mo.

I remember losing a 'friend' at work due to not wanting to cuddle her baybee. You should have seen the looks I got - everyone crowded round to cluck over little Joshuah, she asked if I'd like to hold him - I looked down at my Ghost dress, looked at his mucky chops and said 'Erm, no thanks'. There was mucho sharp intakes of breaths and several eyebrows got imbedded in the ceiling. I generally avoid baybees at all costs even now, except my own of course. That said though I'd quite like to avoid Boo today. She decided to stage a 30 minute tantrum this morning as we were getting ready to leave for preschool, which culminated in her refusing to sit on the toilet, and then wetting herself on purpose. gah.

Oh Hom does that pol. Just ignore it...

Agree with you on the buggy front Silver - I sent MrCluck to Badminton on XC day purely for research purposes (accompanied by moi of course). Was v. good idea as the one we chose has been excellent for suchlike activities.

Anyone who has a baby to save their marriage is completely deluded & needs locking-up. Fear not though - you'll soon settle into the bickering routine....just make sure you get out to the pub, sans baby, every night now and then.

cluckykate I couldn't agree more! Don't have one to save a marriage, don't have cos you are bored, don't have one cos all your pals are doing it. The only reason to have one is if its right for you.

Cripes - If things aren't working out they aren't working out. Having a baby with him is a one way street to shitsville IMHO. Having a baby can only enhance the stress and pressure of such a relationship non?? Only gin in a drip can save you then.

I used to wear a really tight pair of judgey-pants for mothers who drank daily. Now I realise it's nothing to do with children - it's to dissipate the rage you feel towards your partner.

Things are better this end, we've had a lovely 24 hours and he's taken a nightshift tonight to give me some p&q!

cunty - you re very funny!

rots - I hop m&d sweep the board at Windsor!

sorry for lack of contact, finally got 5 mins!

I woke up at about 3 on Sunday morning (which has been pretty normal for the last few weeks!), but between about 3 and 7 I noticed several tightenings so I was really hopefully that something was finally happening!!

We got up at about 7.30 / 8ish and they started becoming a bit more regular, but very gentle still, but just kept building up and by 10 I was having to concentrate a bit through them. Because I was going to have to ring the hospital to arrange a time to go in for monitoring, we decided to time them, and by 11 they were lasting 50 seconds and coming every 3-4 minutesw so when we rang the hospital they told us to come in.

We got there at 12 and went in to have a trace put on and be admitted and everything. The trace was a cordless one and it was a ptia becuase is kept loosing contact as I was moving around. Anyhow at about 1ish I when they did a VE I was fully effaced but not dilated, but because of his lateness they said we couldn't go home, so we were put in an observation ward and told to wander round, have a bath, rest, read etc etc. The pains were getting stronger and I had a lovely bath at about 4, with Rich pouring water on my back on each contraction, it was heaven! they came to see me at 6 and were really pessimistic that nothing had progressed, because I was so relaxed so the midwife asked if it would be ok to give some prostin to encourage things along. I said yes as we were as keen as them to get things going by this point. Anyhow, when the doctor came to give the prostin they found I was 4cm dilated, so we were really plesaed with that. She asked if they could break my waters, which we agreed to, but they found meconium when they did, which unfortunately meant back on the ctg. They wheeled me in to a deliver room at this point so I started on some G&A as well - I think I'd have coped longer without if I could have moved around but the trace didn't look that great when I was in any other position than on my left side - we didn't know if it was decelerations or just picking up my hb instead of his, but better safe than sorry so on my side it was.

They said at 6 that they would do another check on us at 10, but at 8 I started really needing to push. The MW was really dismissive, but eventually I think she realised I was serious so did a VE and found I was right!! So I started pushing at 8. Unfortunately I didn't find it that easy to push on my side but couldn't move - I would really have preferred to be on all 4s. I was finding the G&A a distraction to pushing so ditched that which helped so we got a bit further, but 9, the ctg wasn't looking great, the hb was really decelerating, although coming back up after every contraction. . At this point they called in the Registrar to be on hand incase anything needed doing, and he gave me another 10-15 mins before suggesting a ventouse - to which I said yes. They also called in a paed to check him over because of his hb going up and down, so the room was a bit crowded at this point!

Anyhow, at 10.03 he finally arrived and he wsa quickly checked by the paed and given to me for skin to skin while I was stitched (had episiotomy because of the ventouse and a bit of a skin tear as well).. We had quite a long time of that, then he was weighed - his weight was a huge shock, we were both expecting him to be 7lb something. He latched on pretty quickly so we had a little feed, then he had to go and get checked in the scbu as they weren't happy with his breathing - it was very rapid. They said they didn't know if he'd be back to us or if he'd have to stay in scbu overnight, so we discussed no formula, expressing & srynge feeding etc, and they took him and I had a bath. Happily he was back to us in about 10 minutes and pronounced to be ok, just they would need to keep an eye on his breathing over night. We all had a bit more time together, and then at 3 went on to the ward.

Rich was amazing throughout, considering it was pretty much all of his nightmares in one! He never showed me how scared he was, he was totally calm, encouraging and just fantastic. So all in all, although it was everything (other than section) that we didn't want, it was actually a brilliant experience and I feel great with how it went.

We opted to stay in another night as he didn't feed at all until about 11 on Monday night and I wanted to feel I had that cracked before I went home - the midwives were so helpful - they would just sit with you offering advice and help for as long as you needed it. He is feeding really well now (and yes by that I mean constantly lol) and we are just over the moon with everything,

cossie! It sounds lovely. Were you really as calm as you sound through all that?

I have just looked at the photos (thank you!) and got a tear. It all looks like such a nice experience. And he has great hair!