November 09 - Autumnal times are drawing near, soon our babes will be one year!

[MsInterpret]

Hello ladies, hope no one minds me taking the liberty of creating a new thread and approves of the name choice. We've been moving a bit slower than antenatal so though we'd most certainly have some year-olds by the time we finished this one!

PS Pav, you went into him lots tonight. He certainly doesn't think "mummy won't be coming", don't torment yourself with thoughts like that.

Here we are again.

He is now being left for 6 minutes. He is hoarse from all the earlier crying.

This 4am wake-up is the worst one. Every day, no matter how well or badly he sleeps he is awake at 4am. For at least 30 mins, normally an hour, and sleeps badly for the rest of the morning.

thewook and dwb yes i am ok. Raw and sad and upset and all those horrid emotions but ok. I gave DH a proper bollocking, he is pissed off now. I was so angry with him for not being contactable when he came home.

I would love to take the day off. But not possible. And If I took a day off for every day i had a bad nights sleep, i would never be in work

still here

If he does not go to sleep soon he is going to wake DD up, and then we will see a whole heap more trouble occuring. She has 3 smiley sunshine faces this week for getting up when her alarm clock goes off at 6:40am and not before. She needs 4 smiley sunshine faces to be allowed up past bedtime tonight. Not sure how i will deal with that one if the reason for being up early is not her fault. And, if she is up early, she can't stay up late tonight as she will be exhausted. On wed night she was in bed by 6pm and slept til 6:15am after being woken at ridicuolous o'clock that morning by the Rooster as he is now often referred to as.

ok. So he appears to be asleep. 8 mins out of the 10 min slot. So only about 30 mins of screaming the place down.
DWB i am sure you are right, it is company he wants, but it does not feel like he has gone 'oh ok, no company, lets go to sleep now' it is much more like he just simply has no energy left to cry anymore. I do not feel like I am teaching him any good values even if I am in the long run.

Anyway, I have 1 hour and 15 mins, then it is time to get up.

pav I had to do CC in the end. I know how stressful and upsetting it is. We had up to 2 hours of crying on a couple of occasions. DH helped with it though and took over for a couple of nights and dealt with C and stopped me going to console him. It was awful. But I couldn't go on any longer feeling the way I did. I resented my life. I had a little help with a baby sleep coach. She was very supportive and kept me strong. Do you have this service where you live? Sleep isn't quite there yet but we get at least 6pm to 2am with no problems and the mornings can be good but also hit and miss. Now you've started the CC you must stick to carrying it on. If you change things then you'll only confuse him and all the hard work of last night will go out of the window. No good for you or Roo.

The rooster - how appropriate! Persevere for another night at least, hopefully with DH's support, and let us know how it goes. Fingers crossed you will see an improvement.

We prob did some form of CC but never went longer than ten mins and I found setting the timer on my phone allowed me to tune out of the crying and stay reasonably relaxed through it.

Don't despair, sleep will either improve or you'll discover that the cc approach won't work but you need at least one more night to know. You can do it!

so almost an hour for the first time between 10:30pm and 11:30pm. Ish. Then 4:10am-4:40am ish. Then he woke at 5:50am and I brought him into bed, fed him milk and he slept soundly and calmly (which he does not normally do) til 7:15am. On his back, no tossing and turning, nice and peaceful, no crying. So that is good at least. 1.5 hours of screaming the absolute place down and he did wake DD up, but at least the morning is calmer. Although I am still in bed, stinking headache, and meant to be leaving for work in 10 mins! think i am going to be late today...

thanks for holding my hand thewook anf dwb it helped a lot. I agree fruit* I have to continue now. I know that, I would not want to do this to him and it not get any results, that would be worse. I can only do this if I believe it will help us. If I consider for a moment this is not going to work, it will make me feel worse than before knowing I put him through that for nothing.

pav I meant to say try (not, must) to continue with the CC crying. It does get easier on the 2nd maybe 3rd night.

I'm sure it will work pav. Roo needs to learn from your example. He will not remember the crying and will benefit in the long run to become a good sleeper. You need to get some sleep tonight so I hope your DH can take over. We didn't use a timer. DH used his own instinct as to when he needed to console C. He offered him water each time he went in and didn't talk to him, just made a shhhh sound and would place him back in the cot. Hope you get through your day ok.

poor pav and roo. Hope it works a bit quicker tonight so you both can get some stress-free sleep.

Fruit yes he should know better, he even tells mil what he says to me. (mil works at same place,on differnt shift from me though)
pav yes have told a manager (dont think he took it seriously though), though I barely see my actual manager as rarely in at same time but will talk to him when I see him next. Am definitely going to log it all in case it come to anything. scarlotti Thanks, I will remind him of this if he comes anywhere near me this evening. But am hoping as I have other male colleague who knows the situation working along side me tonight he might stay away, as he only does it when we are alone. I forgot to say the first times he said something was when we were in shopping and dh popped off to find something he'd come up and say slightly inappropriate things then slink off when dh reappeared. dh has always been told what has gone on tho, just so he knows the full picture.

Off to get lunch now for Annabelle and I before sorting out the kids stuff to go to Nanny's. Will pop back on later after work though.

Juicy that sounds creepy. I hope it can be swiftly dealt with, your boss should remember that complaints like that are extremely serious and should be treated as such. Hope it won't happen again.

Pavlov oh, poor thing. Hang in there. I haven't got experience of CC but just wanted to say that you are a fantastic mother doing the best for your children. Please remember that. I hope tonight goes easier for you.

Well, then. It seems I am joining the club as well. I just found out yesterday that I am pregnant again. I haven't even started my period back after Lucy so no idea how long gone. The test I did first, the positive line pretty much exploded out of it, the second said 3+, meaning 5+. But it could be quite a few weeks I suppose. Feeling woozy and sick all the time (not being sick) so pretty much expected the result.

Still, I am a bit surprised and it hasn't sunk in yet...

Woohoo another one - congratulations skorpion!! I only had one kind of period before conceiving again so they scanned me to date the pregnancy at 10 wks. Good thing from my point of view is I haven't had a period since feb 09, & if breastfeeding goes according to plan, should be able to stretch that out to feb 2012! Small pleasures.

Managed to burn my left hand with water fresh from the kettle earlier which is pretty uncomfortable but still going to the cinema to see the king's speech. Hopefully some pic n mix will cheer me up. :)

pav good luck tonight. X

Thanks DWB I'm seeing mw next Thursday so will ask for a scan. Did you keep the hand under cold water for a long time? Enjoy the film.

pavlov, I hope the CC is working for you. You are a fantastic mother of two lovely children, don't forget that.

skorpion, great news. Welcome. As I am hardly ever posting on my antenatal thread it's good to know that this one is becoming a mixed antenatal as well. And who knows, you might be even further along than me if you are already having so many symptoms. I am 8 weeks and something.

DWB, I hope your hand doesn't feel too bad. And I am pretty sure I read somewhere that pic n mix are a famous cure against burns.

Congratulations skorpion! Sorry you are suffering with MS. I hope it passes you by quickly.

DWB That sounds very sore. I hope the film takes your mind off it. Enjoy your sweeties!

Juicy I hope the problem is resolved quickly for you. Keep us posted.

skorpion ! yey! congratulations! I am almost feeling broody again. But not quite .

My poor boy. He actually has a hoarse voice today from his crying he was rather pitiful toward the end this morning as his voice was actually going, and this afternoon and evening he kept losing his voice/being all croaky when he laughs.

We went to a couple of friends' of ours this afternoon/evening for a curry, much hassle as I looked myself out when picking DD up from school, realised as soon as I shut the door, and also that I had Roo in my arms and his car seat was in the house. Luckily my friend was with me, we winged it in the car as my darling husband had his phone off (a broken peice of shit phone) and his mate did not answer his phone. Friend kept me calm, managed to get hold of DH while I was in the school, and he was at home when i got back, took DD to Ballet while I went back to friends to chill out. A lovely evening but threw DSs sleep.

He had his milk before we left their house (5 min drive) and when we got in he woke up, and I have done CC to get him to sleep. 3 mins. and then 5 mins into the 6 min set. Sounds grand but this is the not the problem sleeping time. He normally settles ok at bedtime.

Do you know how I am going brace myself for the next installment? I am going to get pissed. Seeing as he is having no breastmilk til the morning. Fuck it. (i say pissed, i probably will manage 2 glasses before collapsing in a heap in bed!).

ursi thank you for your kind words (and everyone else too) is your DH back from skiing yet?

Do you think I could dare to go in and check on him? he has been asleep about 20 mins? I have an almost overwhelming desire to go in and stroke his cheek and let him know I am there, say sorry for leaving him to cry, wipe his tears away. But, I know if I do i might wake him.

I feel very tearful about all this. I wish it had not come to this. And I am not even drunk. I have had two sips!

Just think Pav you are doing the back breaking work now and it won't last for very long. I felt the same as you. I wanted to sweep C out of his cot cuddle and kiss him. To make him and me feel better. Enjoy the peace and pour yourself that glass of wine. Be strong and there is a glimmer of hope that next week you will get some better nights and life will look far brighter

skorpion congratulations

pav hang on in there, you're doing a great job and are now halfway there. He won't remember any of this so don't beat yourself up about it.

DS1 has had a night terror this evening, they're so scary and it took ages before he would settle and then recognise me, poor poppet. Hopefully the rest of the night will be uneventful.

5am. 5am now. Lets not get all excited. It is just one night. BUT. He slept from 8:20pm-5am without one peep or murmur (well, there might have been, but i did not hear it!).

I did go in and check on him, mostly as it was cold and he kicks his covers off when he bounces up and down crying. I wrapped him up again in the spot he had collapsed in, resisted the temptation to kiss him and that was that. 9pm ish, I was out like a light, woken by DH coming in at 1:15am, attempted to talk to me, i told him to stop talking!

Then 5:05am DS came in with us, fed and slept til 6:05am. I had almost 8 hours sleep ! For the first time in over a year.

I had one glass of wine! I drank it bed, snuggled with the laptop and had to make myself finish or (or else waist it!) before I went to sleep, how sad is that?!

scarlotti night terrors are horrible aren't they? DD has had a couple, last year in summer she had them. NOthing you can do either, except just be there and ride it out. Hope he does not suffer from them too often.

Well done pav. Just stay strong and dont waiver - this could be the norm! And what's going on with your DH - two nights out in a row?? He's a lucky man!

dwb i am lucky if he stays in two nights in a row. Admittedly it is partly as I go to be so early atm, but, last night he went out while the baby was screaming (not so baby any more ), but because I said I was dealing with it (already started) he went out, rather than stay in a support me. Nice. But he will say I told him to go out, which, in effect I guess I did (already planned). And of course he always does what he is told .

The norm - we shall see. But no waivering now. What is done is done and I can't stop this now. So hopefully it will make a long term difference.

Thank you ladies!

Pavlov well done for sticking to your plan. Fingers crossed you're on the way to a good nightly routine now.