November 09 - Autumnal times are drawing near, soon our babes will be one year!

[MsInterpret]

Hello ladies, hope no one minds me taking the liberty of creating a new thread and approves of the name choice. We've been moving a bit slower than antenatal so though we'd most certainly have some year-olds by the time we finished this one!

Pav that is one good eater you have! I wish both of mine ate like that. actually Annabelle isnt that bad, she will eat a big variation of things but not huge portions, so at least she is trying all the different flavours and textures.

Ds is fussy, and have had the school nurse here to talk about solutions to his eating (and toilet related problems.) Regarding not eating his dinner we have been told to put bread and butter (which is what he wants to eat) on the same plate next to whatever you are dishing up for dinner, and to get on with eating dinner. as long as he has the bread and butter that is good and not to talk about the dinner or make a fuss of what he doesnt eat. hopefully he will try it of his own accord when he realises you are not making a fuss, so hoping that will work.

DWB love the name Lucas. Considered it for ds but is my sister's favourite boys name so didn't feel right about taking it if in case she ever does have children!

Juicy Your work colleague sounds old enough to know better and that his behaviour is inappropriate and way out of line . Are you thinking of reporting this guy to a manager?

Sorry to hear your DS is also a fussy eater. Is he very limited on what he eats? My DS recently will try a lot more tastes and started to enjoy things like prawns and spareribs. These things he wouldn't of touched last year. We still have times when I find it hard to feed him. He will eat certain fruit and veg at school but not at home. Can be very frustrating!

Pav How was your night?

juicy FFS he can't act like that! You could hang him out to dry if you so desired, so the very least you can do is politely tell him to back the f off, and report him to your boss/complain formally. Record it all, in a log, as if he persists you will need to refer back to it. Arsehole. Sorry, for my harsh tones, but I am not great with people who have zero concept of personal space/inappropriate behaviour. And as a now rather active union member , if i were your rep, i would be telling you to put in an immediate grievance for harrassment.

Now, my night. Hmm. Well. Good. And Bad. Good - slept from 7:15pm-3:30am. Bad. It all then went to shit. fussed and cried and fussed and cried, went to sleep at 4:30am, woke at 5am, in bed with us til 6:30am fussing and not wanting to be awake/wanting to suckle. but when not in bed, it is not boob he wants. He wants to be asleep, but something is stopping him.

So, today I am writing down a diary and will do so each day to record what we are doing with him in terms of food/air/exercise.milk and sleep routines. See if we can see any kind of pattern. But, so far, after 14 months (tomorrow!) there is no pattern that I can see

On a positive note, we spent the evening with him and DD listening to french children's songs and he had breastmilk at 6:15pm, put to bed at 7:15pm with no more milk, just cuddle, bed and minimal fuss. He even pushed me away!

Sorry all memememe I am reading everyone's posts, honestly

Katster, DH is on his way back home, arrives at night, so I might already be sleeping. I am really looking forward to seeing Paula's face tomorrow morning when she discovers him in our bed as she said every morning: daddy, daddy.
And I really wonder how bad his "disease" is as he sounded surprisingly well today on the phone.
I also know what you mean about your mum worrying more than you about the food intake of the LO. When Paula had this bad cold at my parents house my mum went totally crazy, constantly bringing new food and chasing her.
And she was soo worried about the cold in general. I think for our parents is so much more difficult because they remember those terrible moments and feelings when we were really unwell, maybe even in hospital, not just having colds. And it just all comes back when they see a small child suffering (a bit)

juicy, what a horrible man. I really hope you have the strength to act somehow. Like telling him very loudly to stop touching you or talking to you like that. Or do whatever our November09 law-specialist pavlov recommends.
As for the suggestion of the nurse to solve the fussiness, I think she is right. The more relaxed you are about it, the easier for him. But I guess that is easier said than done.

pavlov, I really hope things will work out soon for you. (and for me too). I guess the diary is a good thing to do. I know exactly what you mean about wanting to go back to sleep but being unable. Paula has sometimes the same problem, once she even cried and said "heia, heia" (which means sleeping). I felt so sad for her as I couldn't do much about it. I wish I knew how to help them to learn it.
On other times she is perfectly able to do so. So there is hope.

DWB, congratulations to your brother! How nice that your family is growing so fast. I am due 7th september. And my SIL on the 15th of june. So three month apart as well. That will be fun on christmas! Sadly I don't think I will be able to see my future niece (as it seems) earlier than that.

Hi all

Sorry to hear you're still having rough nights pav, if it's any consolation, I was up between 3 and 4 last night as Ioan's teeth were playing up and so he didn't settle after the 3am milk. Teething also seems to mean less eating, which results in the earlier night feed. And around we go again...

I keep a book for Ioan, mainly as it helps with him going to the childminder (and now his Dad's) but it's great to flick back through to see patterns emerging. I write down his sleeping, food and milk, and how he is during the day. Very helpful to see what happens when teething etc. and great when you're in the thick of it to be reminded that those nights only last a few days.

Lovely hearing about all these babies ... we are going to see some kittens on Sunday and hopefully they will then come to live with us in a few weeks

Oh, and juicy ... forgot to say ... you do realise that the guy at work is sexually harassing you in the eyes of the law? If you lodged a formal complaint and took it all the way then he would get the sack - might be something you might want to point out next time he gropes you by the chiller cabinet.

I am so upset.

DS woke at 10:30pm. He will not sleep. I am NOT going to feed him any more at night. I just cannot do it. I am now officially doing the CC method, something i swore i will never do. I am so fucking upset. I have done 3 mins, 6 mins, 10 mins, now on 15 mins, only half way through and NO LET UP. He is desperately crying his eyes out. There is nowhere in this fucking place I can go to stop hearing him. DH is out, as per fucking usual. His phone is off and he did not tell me where he was going or when he will be back. So I am left feeling like I want to punch a wall all on my own with no-one to help me.

I fucking hate this. I have had enough. Right now. I have had enough.

ok so done the 15 mins. Now onto 20 mins. He is still hysterical, so much so that when I picked him up he was not able to calm down. How on earth is he expected to fall asleep calmly when he is so fucking wound up? He is not going to lull himself to sleep now is he? he is going to pass out unconscious due to exhaustion. He is basically screaming himself to sleep. Right? Oh what am i doing? but if I go in and shh him to sleep how on earth will he ever do it on his own right? thats what CC method reckons right?

So do I pick him up? who is there to even bloody well ask. Certainly not my DH.

Pav I'm here, watching Question Time- talk to me, it will be OK, we can do five minutes at a time?

I remember once trying CC with ds1 and just bawling down the phone to my mum, she said 'talk to me for five minutes' and after about five rounds of five minutes it was OK?

Do waht you feel you need to re the cuddle Pav, do what feels right. CC is too hard sometimes.

Sorry Pav I ahven't been keeping up with the thread, are you still bfing? CVould you offer water or milk in a cup instead of boob? A biscuit???? I don't know, just suggesting randomly

Still here if you need a chat Pav

thanks thewook i don't know what to do any more tbh. I know that right now i feel like the worst mother in the world. I cannot bear that I am letting my boy cry himself to sleep. But I cannot bear any more nights of constant waking either. It is tearing me and my family apart. I mean literally. DH and I came so close to splitting last weekend. I have no life. I constantly think about sleep. I have lost touch with my friends, no-one visits any more, i no longer get invited places as I am always too tired to go. DH continually nagging at me to sort it, getting blamed for it being this way etc etc.

Its ok for him he can go out, and he regularly does, til whatever bloody time he feels like it. He says I can too, but I can't as I am just too tired and I have to work the next day.

he is still bf, but it is reducing. And not feeding through my choice he just won't stop. Have done the whole offering water thing, he won't drink water at night, he won't drink from a bottle, does not like cows milk (on its own). I have stopped bfeeding in the night, stopped a while ago, and it is not even that he wants. But, over the last several days I have offered it out of desperation, and not settled him. So, I am not doing it any more. I think I have to stop feeding him completely.

ok he is has now successfully screamed himself to sleep. Great. I feel bloody wonderful. Now he knows to go to sleep as mummy won't be coming.

Pav poor you this sounds awful, the lack of sleep affects literally everything. How is Roo now?
Unfair of your dh :(
Anyone else nearby, anyone at all who can help? I don't mean tonight, tonight we just have to get through... but after?

Thanks thewook it helped having someone to rant to!

I can't sleep now. How on earth am I meant to sleep?! I feel dreadful. And he is probably going to wake up in a couple of hours anyway.

Pav he's asleep, you did what you needed to do, you are NOT a bad mother, you're a tired mother, and you're doing your best- who can possibly do more than that?!

dh is back...good timing aye?...

How to get to sleep? I can't say, but try lying down and counting all the times you've been an AMAZING mother- you'll be asleep before you get even a millionth of the way through.

GOOD- you go to sleep and dh can settle Roo back down next time he wakes. Put some ear plugs in.

Take the day off tomorrow :)

Pav hope everything is ok? The fact that Roo is asleep shows he wanted company, nothing else. Doesn't it? It will seem hard leaving him to cry but hopefully tomorrow will be better. You all need your sleep, you've done well tonight and on your own at that. Hang in there.

And post on here all you like, you did the right thing tonight. Hope you're now asleep. xxx