AUGUST 2010 - welcome to post-natal :o)

[CherryPie3]

I know I'm not around a great deal lately but we don't yet have a PN thread - so here we are.

Love to all xxx

:)

It is a funny old debate. I'm a real 'research everything first' kind of person, so when I started feeding DS1 I could have written you chapter and verse on bf'ing - how it works, all the different positions, the biology of it etc. And I was supremely confident about it - it never occurred to me for a moment that it wouldn't 'work' for me (I was firmly of the opinion that it works for anyone who really wants it to). Plus, when I started having problems, I accessed all the support I could think of - all the helplines, local bf clinics run by trained bf counsellors, private lactation consultant etc. Plus I tried all the other bits and pieces - nipple shields, Silverette etc. Yet none of it made a blind bit of difference. Like Chulita said, I just could not latch either of my DSs on in a way that did not cause the surface of my nipples to blister and crack, and great big lateral cracks to open up all around the base (I'm still missing a good third of the nipple on one side, such was the damage I did). In all the thousands of times I must have latched DS1 on and off the breast while I was trying to feed him, there was ONE single time, when a counsellor was helping me, that it felt somehow 'different', and didn't hurt. But I never managed to recreate that latch again, with or without help.

One theory I read said that the fairer you are, the more prone you are to get damaged nipples through bf'ing. No idea whether it's true, but I am certainly extremely fair-skinned .

chulita never again am I going to type the words, 'little angel' & 'breastfeeding beautifully' in one sentence..I should have n own they'd come back to haunt me. I think as soon as I hit post yesterday, we hit a growth spurt/cluster feeding frenzy which has turned my 'angel' into 'grizzly adams' & left my nipples looking like someone has taken a grater to them.

elusive I was secretly in the bf judgemental camp too (tho wouldn't have vocalised it) but my how times have changed. If anything I now feel slightly resentful towards the smuggery of the bf mafia...we all do our best & how miserable to not enjoy these first few weeks because peer pressure makes us feel inadequate. Well done dibby for making the decision, no looking back, you're both happier which is far more important than that heartbreaking baby/boobs/pain wrestling act.

10days on with a Grade 2 tear & an episiotomy, I can't even contemplate climbing over Mr Weehector. I might need you to remind me what to do in a few weeks time.

Quick q - how do you sterilise your nipple shields? Anyone got a quick fix? Seems a bit of a faff to bung them in the microwave steriliser for 6 mins then I'm a bit lost how to store them upstairs once they're sterilised (currently storing them in a bottle sterilised at the same time until I need them).

weehector - that is what i used to do with my nippleshield/

Can I ask a question about thrush...got some cream for me from docs...but how I do I use it when breatfeeding? How long does it need to be on your nipple for? because dd4 is on and off for a while so its hard to judge when to put it on.. also don't fancy washing it off in JL toilets etc when out!
And how to stop Poppy spitting out her drops?

Cazzy go back to your gp and ask for daktarin gel for poppy - much easier and meant to be more effective too. As for the cream for your nipples, I just slather it on after every feed or every second boob if we're cluster feeding. I don't bother washing it off either - it usually absorbs quite quickly. Hth.

evening ladies :)
elusive thanks so much for your advice and info on your experience with the crying. I took Ruby to the doctors and was told she has reflux, I propped her up in her moses basket all day yesterday and night and today. I have also given her gripe water, and I had a very goo night last night with her last night. As when she woke up at 1, 4 and 6 she had 2oz each time burped, and went back to sleep. I have found that she sleeps alot better on her side too. :) Im much happier today as she has been so much better, hope she has a good night tonight aswell. She has not cried today either
And with reference to bottle feeding, we make up the bottles each time in the day, but I do it by boiling kettle cooling for 10 mins then put the milk in and cool down. At night I have one of the night and day feeding systems, and take up the bottles with boiled water in, heat one up in the night and day thing, to the temperture she likes and then add the milk. It would take too much time to do if I did it the way which is recommened, and as you said the crying would wake ds's.
With my ds's I used to make them up in batch and put in the fridge. Much easier that way.

Re bf - I've had an easy time of it with J. I put it all down to him - he just seemed to know what to do and I let him lead (true baby lead feeding)! I am inclined to think it is more about the child than the mother but all the bf support groups would have it the other way (disclaimer: I certainly don't claim to be an expert on the subject).

I think Blueberries (sorry BB if I am taking your name in vain) has posted before about the latch and that it looks fine but clearly is not and I've heard this a lot. J does not latch on in any kind of proper/text book way - he does not aproach the breast in a mouth wide pose - he sort of sucks his way up my nipple and then opens his mouth wide when he hits the top. A split second of pain (or perhaps shock would be a better word) as he is sucking his way up and then all is fine. On the whole it works so I have followed his lead.

I do wonder the extent to which bf counsellors/support groups actually help women overcome problems with bf as opposed to rather helping women to grit their teet and get on with it for a little longer. The few friends I have who have had real problems with bf (but have perservered) have never (even in some cases with employing lactation consultants!) overcome their problems - they just felt that they had more support/someone to talk to whilst dealing with them - usually for just a short time longer to some psychological time-frame (often either 6 or 12 weeks).

In my ante-natal group in RL I am the only one (of eight of us who keep in touch) still bf. I do feel like a bit of an odd one out at times!

I had lunch was a good friend yesterday who has a 13 week old (lovely age!) and she gave up bf in agony at 5 weeks after lots of support (lactation consultant etc). Her baby was/is slightly tongue tied so again - it seems to be much about the baby not the mother. I was nearly in tears for her when she said that she hates bottle feeding in public as she feels that people are judging her. I asked how she had found bf in public and she said she had never got comfortable with that either. I was There is just too much presure on women and/or we put too much on ourselves.

Talkng about our expectations of bf I was soooo glad that I had found MN before getting pg and having MN (that's you guys!) while PG. It was clear that I had been much better informed than she in terms of what to expect from bf which I think has made a huge difference (just knowing to invest in a box set in terms of how time consuming it would be is a big deal psychologically).

Re sex - I've decided to go with Chulita's right hand man aproach for now! No point making it an issue unnecessarily. It was good to hear that some of you had waited quite some time!

Have booked J in for baby swim classes starting in 2 weeks time. I'm so excited! We are also starting a rattle and roll class with my ante-natal sub-group which should be fun and... he smiled at me today when I blew raspberries on his cheek [melting heart emoticon]

phew - sorry mammoth post - even for me

"grit their teet" meant teeth of course!

hello ladiesa

please excuse lack of punctuation/capital letters etc, fred is sleeping on one arm

despite an okay start to bf, it got very painful over the weekend [i posted about it on the antenatal thread] and have very sore nipples that were bleeding quite badly at the beginning of the week. now much better, only agonising when latching on, but f seems to be happy and content so keeping going, although gave him expressed milk the other night [last night maybe] as he was just fussing and would not latch at all and really didn't want him opening up the wounds! going to see a bf counsellor tomorrow though. i am petrified of bf in public, may have ebm for when out, our children's centre has a quiet room next to the main room where i would be happy to feed, but that would be it i think.

question about thrush; how do you know it is thrush and not a milky tongue. if it is thrush, would it get worse if not treated, or can it get better by itself.

mw came yesterday, f has lost 8oz which she said was fine.

sorry, have been rambling there doesn't seem to much of a connection to brain and stream of though at the moment

sorry, thought, not though.

Alice the way to tell is to gently run your finger over the tongue - if the whiteness goes, it's milk, if not, it's thrush. The breastfeeding counsellor should be able to spot it straight away. Fingers crossed it's not thrush though xxx

Aussie - agree with so much you said!

aussie you speak the truth! i feel so well informed from being on mumsnet - not sure i would necessarily have continued bfing if not. we are just about to hit the magic 6 week mark and i do feel like things are somewhat improving. we're in a rough routine, though i could wish i could bring it all back a few hours so that we went to sleep before 2am and got up before 11am. i;m still taking painkillers daily because of the pain of feeding, but now only for the epic 4 hour evening feeds switching from breast to breast and pulling and pummeling.

off to breastfeeding group in a bit, looking forward to seeing my friends there! first of all i need to get dressed and get the boy dressed...

alice the thrush could go on to his bum too whereas milk obviously won't :) Well done for keeping on with it, it's not easy at all for some of us!

emster I'm living off paracetamol too at the mo but that's cos my one boob is really painful. I'm quite lucky in that Sam rarely feeds for more than 15 mins at a time - a 25 min feed feels like hours now.

Just back from BF group. There were two counsellors there and both had a look at F and the latch and said the latch is fine, no thrush etc. Feel really positive about continuing now. They also gave me a handful of Lansinoh sachets too, and said not to let nipples dry out, keep them moist with the Lansinoh/breastmilk and they will heal properly. Feel good for feeding in front of people too, even if it was only at a BF group.

Have found that swaddling him for feeding has stopped him fussing and helps him settle quicker. Has anyone actually bought some swaddling blankets or are they a waste of money?

Cazzy are you on FB?

Oh, and is anyone else starving the whole time? Are you just eating what you want or are you trying to be sensible about calories etc?

We just swaddle Sam in a thin cot blanket, tucked well in he doesn't escape. Well done for bfing in public :) and yes, I'm hungry all the time especially first thing in the morning. I'm eating really badly at the mo too

I have told myself that i can eat what i like while still trying to establish BF (an added incentive!) Have just ordered My Fitness Coach (i think it is called) for the Nintendo DS that has a pedometer with it and works out all your cals etc. was £2 on Ebay so can't complain and it may help!

alice I bought 4 x Aden+anais swaddling blankets. One of the best things I've bought - keeps Alastair from overheating whilst sleeping, we get longer sleeps & we get less wriggling at feeding time. Dead quick to wash n dry too. Defo try one.

Just marking my spot on the thread.

Mostly reading rather than posting thank goodness for the iphone, the sleep while your baby sleeps only works if your baby settles enough for you to sleep. Proud grandmother spent hours yesterday holding LO, saying "you must not get her used to be held otherwise she will never settle by herself". Ah, the rich irony! On the positive side, proud grandmother arrived with a bountiful feast of treats, I probably won't have to cook until Monday.

Hello - LO is four days old today - can I join you all?

Wondering if anyone else has a toddler too - I have a 2 year-old and my hormones are making me feel so guilty about not being there for him. Feel like evil ignoring mum because the baby's getting so much attention. Cried all afternoon as his dad took him to a family birthday party I couldn't really face.

Does anyone have any ideas about a good routine for the pair of them? Struggling through mornings, teatimes and bedtime at the minute cos had a great routine with the first and feel a bit out of control now.

Anyway, hello and I look forward to more of this good reassuring and helpful chat!!

Hello jebbieD, quite a few of us have toddlers too. DD is 21 months and is struggling a bit adapting to not being centre of attention. DS is now 5 weeks old but we've not got a routine yet. Hopefully someone will come on with some good suggestions :)

Welcome jebbieD

The only vague routine we have at the moment with 4 year old ds1 and 5 week old ds2 is that they both go in the bath together at 6pm, then ds2 gets cbeebies until 7pm while I try and stuff as much milk into ds2 as possible. Then come 7pm ds2 is sleepy enough to allow me to read ds1 a story and put him to bed in peace. Doesn't always work of course, but that's the main plan. Flying solo for the first time on Tuesday and think I'll make pack lunches for means ds1 to mKe sure we both get lunch!!

Hi, my DS was born on the 6th August, three weeks old yesterday! Is it ok to join the thread? I lurked a bit on the antenatal thread although I didn't post.

We seem to have had our fair share of minorish problems since he's been born - a forceps delivery which left DS with some facial nerve damage (getting better now!), jaundice that required phototherapy, tongue tie (clinic appointment next wednesday), thrush in his mouth which cleared up with daktarin gel, but has now come back with a vengeance on his poor bottom :(

Despite everything he is feeding well, and without causing me any pain, but I cannot get him to latch on the "right" way with all that nose to nipple business. Still he seems to have found a method that works for him.

evening all.

Haven't posted for ages. Seems have three under three is a bit time consuming! grin]

jebbie I know what you mean about the guilt thing- dd2 was born on the day of dd1s first birthday party and I had to endure seeing photos of mil holding her up to blow out the candles!

Will try to comment on other things I've read-

sex- yes did it ten days after the birth this time and around 2/2.5 weeks after the first two.

feeding- still mix feeding, getting much more confident with the bfing but may have to give up as Tilly has come up with a rash which is more than likely allergy to milk/other foods like dd2 so is now on hypo allergenic formula.

right crying baby gotta go

gya well done for keeping up with everything (not that you have much choice!) :)

moonunit good luck shifting the thrush, if the latch doesn't hurt you then don't worry if it looks 'wrong'.

I'm now solely expressing on one side simply because the pain is so bad I just can't face him latching on. Apparently he's slightly tongue-tied and the lady said that if they cut it it might make all the difference or it might make none at all. The fact is that after he's fed off the right it burns for hours afterwards and I've got a blood blister right in the middle of my nipple. I've been trying to focus on a proper latch and about once every other day we get a good one, otherwise it's crap. I'm going to try and go back and get the tie cut just to see if it makes a difference. I'm sure the pain is latch-related because when I express it's not half as painful and it only burns for about 5 mins...just how to get this little boy to latch on properly is beyond me :(

I just made the most disgraceful coffee and walnut meringue cake, the icing's not set yet but please help me eat it [plonks it on table] I'm never going to shift this humungous almost-looks-six-months-pregnant-but-is-a-little-too-saggy-to-get-away-with-it belly.

chulita I'll join you in the crap latch gang & take a slice of cake please. My nipples are destroyed too - we had a monster cluster feeding session from 1.30pm yesterday until 4am this morning which ended with him crying because I kept trying to put him into his Moses basket whenever he fell asleep on the boob, me crying because he was nipple wrestling in frustration and I was so sore, DH sending me to the spare bedroom for 20mins to calm down & me feeling like a complete failure sterilising a dummy to try and comfort him because I was too deranged with pain to carry on. The dummy worked (hurrah! But there's another mummy rule i set for myself broken) and today is a whole new world of normal feeding so I'm not going to beat myself up about it. 14hrs...that can't be normal though, is it?! I really don't feel I could face too many sessions like that.