AUGUST 2010 - welcome to post-natal :o)

[CherryPie3]

I know I'm not around a great deal lately but we don't yet have a PN thread - so here we are.

Love to all xxx

:)

I haven't bothered implementing a routine yet, and probably won't try anything til at least 6 weeks when feeding is established. Guess I'm aiming to have a more structured day by 3 months.

The main thing I've tried to do is differentiate between day and night - ds sleeps in a moses basket in the living room in the day, lights on, TV on, visitors in and out etc (or in a sling or buggy if we're out). And I try not to let him sleep for more than 2 hours at a time. He'll only stay awake for an hour between naps at the moment, including feeding. I feed him around 10pm/11pm in the bedroom then he goes to bed in a sleeping bag in his cot in the quiet, dark bedroom. I try to keep his night feed quiet and low-key too, just a night light on and feeding lying down. It does seem to have worked so far.

Oh god - sorry anyone who is worryied/intimidated by the routine J and I have. It happened really naturally with us (we started out much like Moon) in that I noticed that J was adopting a certain routine all by himself. I did thefore do 2 days of observation where I noted his feeds and naps and that there was a definite pattern and I just kind of put a little more structure around that. In part it was a case of "needs must" as I really needed to get to a point where there was a reliable and reasonable lengthy lunchtime nap so that I could do some of DH's paperwork and deal with our incoming tenants (we let to students so the new tenants are moving in right now for the new academic year). Had J not been a creature of habit I would have just got in with a more laisez faire approach and DH would have had to do his own paperwork! Additionally I was worried about boring J so I wanted to make his awake time a bit more interesting (as much as possible with a tiny baby) and I found it easier to do this if I had some kind of idea of how long he was likely to be awake. The structure is paying dividends now in that J seems to be getting very good now at self settling for his naps etc which just snatches me an extra 5 minutes here and there but it really is horses for courses. And of course I do cheat and use motion (ie goin out in the car) on some days to put him to sleep! Also J is now 6 weeks old so its quite a different matter to those of you with days old babies.

Alice - I like the lilypadz for night but then I could not stand the thought of wearing a night/sleep bra. Perhaps if you are comfortable with night bras you might prefer to just use regular/reuseable pads. For me they are definitely better than waking up cold wet and crusty which is where I was before!

MrsZ and LittleMiss - they are quite some birth stories and a lot of pushing time. At the hospital where I gave birth pushing time is 60 mins. They are not strict about it - I pushed for 70 but J's head was half out for about 8 mins so no going back (although I did hear and emcs story the other day where forceps were used to drag the baby back up the birth canal ) but it was about enough so I am in awe!

Mrs Z - God laughs while {wo}man makes plans! Not many of us got our birth plan but your hospital seem particularly crap. They are not all like that - mine was very good, both MW's familiar with my birth plan, discussed aspects with me (vit K oral, cord to stop pulsating, pain relief etc etc) throughout so I'm sorry you had such a crappy time. I think this is a busy time of year but no excuse for not keeping you informed. I had no examinations other than at 2cm but things progressed reasonably swiftly for me so not too bad. I too would have been frustrated to be going on so long as you were and not know how far along I was. I'm also surprised about the anti-biotics. My induction started 37 hurs after my waters broke and there was no suggestion of anti-biotics (nasty things).

I'm sorry you are upset about the bf. I've said before that I'm not sure how much help the MW's actually are/can be on this issue. I know you've had trouble since coming home but perhaps as you settle in without the pressure of constant observation you will both relax and it will get easier. I know J and I had a right day of it when he was about 5 days old where he seemed to have a growth spurt (but I've never heard of one at that kind of age). How much weight did Neive lose? You're doing your best MrsZ and while no child could ask more of their mummy than that it seems to me that you are doing really well anyway! If you give formula so be it - just try to make the the decision at a calm moment not in a frustrated moment as I think this will make you feel much better about your decision rather than that you "gave in" (which is clearly not the case but I can see how much pressure you are putting on yourself!). I think it is is very hard for people watching (mum's/other halfs etc) who cannot do anything to help and the one thing they can do is suggest formula - it might be the right answer, it might not - you have to decide, hopefully in a quiet moment.

(I hope that came across ok - I've typed it a bit quicker than I would like so apologise if I phrased anything badly/sounded preachy!)

Thank you so much Aussie, and for everyones support. I'm sorry I'm totally crap at keeping up just now but little Nieve isn't giving mummy much time on her own, finally had a shower today and brushed my teeth! that was a good 24 hrs!!

I spoke to the breastfeeding helpline last night and the lady was uber helpful, just calmed me down and said that I was doing well and she was doing well and we just needed to find out how to get along with eachother. She suggested feeding with her lying down and it worked a treat! she also suggested sleeping with her, which also worked a treat! last night she fed, then slept with me exactly 3 hours apart, no problems at all!! she's been a little unsettled this morning and feeding non stop again but I feel much better now I've had a good 6 hrs sleep with her.

again, so sorry I don't have much time to catch up with everyone, she's stirring again so I'll have to go.... will try and catch up again and some point today.

littlemiss sorry to hear that you had a difficult time as well, to be honest I've forgot all about it now, but I was just upset that I felt so awful. Labour care - rubbish aftercare - cannot fault one little bit, I have all the support a girl could ask for and more.

x

MrsZac so pleased to hear BFing is going much better! I actually just sent you an FB message suggesting you try BFing lying down . There is a lot of hysteria surrounding co-sleeping but it really is a good way to get on with things in the first few weeks when all the baby wants is to be close to mum.

Anna, don't feel bad about routine - Daniel only has one cos of the DTs, he doesn't really hve one at all, he just feeds and sleeps whenever he wants! Love the name Nina (that's my name ). Sounds like you are doing great. FWIW I'd close the curtains for daytime naps and just wake her when her time's up (I don't wake D atm tho cos it's easier with the older kids to let him sleep). But that will help her differentiate between day and night. The DTs got day/night right at about 7wks old and everything clicked into place then. The best thing to do is don't worry about anything, just feed her when she cries and you can't go far wrong! The more milk she gets in the day the less she'll feed at night (that';s the idea anyway!)

Daniel slept 12-5.30am last night . He is much more awake in day as well now (4wo on Sunday). Might Gina Ford him next week .

Expressing tips: Express before you feed preferable in mornings when you are more full, and don't worry if you don't get much more than 0.5oz out of each breast at first. Just keep a routine with it and your supply will soon catch up. I used to express at 7am and 10am with the DTs.

Hi all,

Thought it was time I posted as I seem to have lost the thread from the 'Threads I'm On' section of MN - so it must be a hint!

TBH I'm having a slightly torrid time at the moment. Can't remember when I last posted... but whenever it was, I seem to remember saying what an angel S was . Since then, things haven't been quite so easy. First, both he and DS1 got a cold, which has made them harder to deal with. But more significantly, I'm pretty certain that S is now developing colic. He's very good at night and in the mornings, but from about lunchtime until 10pm he's a bit of a monster. Not actually screaming - he is consolable, but only if you walk around with him or use a dummy pretty much constantly. I'm feeling quite down about it. DS1 had the most appalling colic and reflux, which very nearly drove me to a nervous breakdown last time, so the thought of going through it again when I've got a toddler to deal with as well, is pretty ghastly. To be fair, S is nowhere near DS1's league yet (DS1 basically screamed for 24 hours a day from the age of 1 week to 3 months), but I'm just so worried about being able to keep DS1 happy and 'on side' about the baby if I'm spending all afternoon and evening trying to console S. Having said that, I've just put S in the sling and he's now sleeping peacefully - I'd forgotten how useful it is to use the sling round the house as well as when you're out.

The problems with S have also been slightly compounded by other stuff going on at the moment. My day so far:

8am DS1 projectile vomits his entire breakfast all over the room (he does this quite often when he's got a cold)

8.30am VW come to collect the car - which if anyone remembers we spent £2500 on a month ago, and have now been told we need to spend another £350 on today to fix another problem

9am The decorators arrive (who are lovely, but having the house decorated is not exactly lowering my stress levels)

9.30am I discover that the pipe under my kitchen sink is leaking, and everything in the cupboard is soaking wet

11am My mum goes home, so I've got the two children to look after on my own for the first time since S was born

And so it goes on. Anyway, sorry about the whingy post, but it's been a bit of a day. Very sorry to hear about all the difficult labours and problems with bf'ing. Just remember - no-one's superhuman, and you (we!) are all doing a fantastic job!

elusive I hope things pick up, at least the house will look lovely once the decorators have finished!

mrsZ I'm so glad you found an answer to some of the bf problems. If you can tough it out it is worth it. I try to have Samson in his moses basket but he usually ends up co-sleeping by the morning. I can only feed lying down on one side cos my right side is still very painful and I have to concentrate on the latch.

We're off to get Sam's tongue-tie looked at again on Monday and maybe cut. I just can't get a pain-free latch on the right and I've got a giant blood blister on the nipple...nice! A friend said that I might have a crazy let-down on that side which makes sense because when he hops off I spray a good 3 feet of milk. He gets really bad wind off that side but not so bad on the other and he's always on/off on that side too. Maybe as he gets older and more able to deal with the stronger stream I'll be finally pain-free...we live in hope!

elusive after accusing DH of peeing on the floor I realised our cistern is leaking and our downstairs loo is soaking wet. The earliest it can be fixed is the 13th

We finally have a moving date too! 29th, so that leaves me with 3 weeks alone without DH and 2 youngsters - not looking forward to it at all but at least I've got him for another week. Anyone live near Hereford? I don't know anyone up there!

Mrszac just wanted to say you are doing an amazing job with the breastfeeding and you should be incredibly proud of yourself. Same goes for your birth experience - you brought your beautiful girl safely into the world and although it sounds like you had a really crappy time, you still achieved something amazing. Well done you!

Re routines: with ds1 I was desperate for a routine but he would have none of it! With G, I've been using neenz's mantra of if it cries, feed it! And he seems to have found his own pattern. Not a routine really, more a rhythm.

Eeeek! Just had to wake up dh to deal with a mahoosive spider crawling around the Moses basket. Dh not amused, but bugger it! If I'm feeding at this time of night, the least he can do is a spt of spider hunting!

Elusive - hope things improve soon for you

Chulita - nothing helpful to offer except eek at the thought of moving!

Hang on in there everyone, it does get easier I promise!

Breastfeeding has been a huge challenge for me as well! Prob slightly my own fault because I didn't prepare very well in advance and I don't really know anyone else who has successfully established breastfeeding their LOs apart from my MiL.

Was on MN at 4am the night before last pleading for help and advice - thread over here - and was really touched and encouraged by the almost instant responses. MN is best thing since sliced bread, think I def would have packed in breastfeeding altogether without this much needed sympathy/advice/encouragement in the middle of the night. Much better day with it yesterday and feeling cautiously optimistic about today. Every day that you manage to do it is great for LO's immune system so I'm just taking it one day at a time - good luck to everyone else struggling with it too xx

hello = WOW wjhat a lot has happened since I have been away (I went to Norfolk on holiday - it was fab! What lovely beaches they have)...anyway

Mrs ZC -= sorry your birth wasn't what you hoped for but at least your dd is here and safe. Hope the breast feeding goes OK - my dd1 was the worst to feed. Co-sleeping is the way forward

We too are using cloth nappies - well we will but dd4 is still too small for the wraps.

can't believe sher is a month today

sparkle what is the name of the formula? Tilly is on nutramigen aa like dd2 was- smells and tastes revolting..

neenz think I'll start expressing in a few days so glad you said that about 0.5oz I'd have thought I was doing something wrong if I only got that much

Hang in there elusive
...this too shall pass, etc, etc

life's not any fun in Weehectorland either. Lil A is back clusterfeeding (tho just 9pm-4am last night, then wanting more torridly at 6am) & wrecking my nipples once again. I'm so sore, hugely inflamed on my left boob & raging between the chills & fever (yes, hurrah for mastitis) that I've been doing all sorts of deals in my head to justify giving up bf. I haven't made it out the house since Wednesday, I've lost about 1/2 stone, DH's response at 3am when I was lying shaking uncontrollably the first night the mastitis came on & I asked what we should do was 'i'm going to shoot myself'. Lil A won't sleep in his Moses basket now either. And on & on...so sorry again for another 'me' moan...think I'm trying to say you are by no means alone to some of the sisters. And to those of us cruising with routines & brilliant babies,keep the stories & tips coming - I'm hoping it's no coincidence that those that are flying are all 1month plus now. But no smuggery or I may have to kill you.

To however has the huge lump down below - I had one post my grade 2 tear/episiotomy. I was starting to get worried about it as the stitches were healing well but this week (19 days on) it's almost gone.

Few quick q's:

• how long does mastitis usually take to clear up. Thought I was getting better yesterday (when HV was in so didn't push for any antibiotics) but i've now had it since 3am Wednesday.
• I suspect it's normal for babies to want to sleep on, with or be close to their mummies & daddies 24/7 which we are indulging him in at the moment but come next week when DH goes back to work I can't have him on me constantly (tho love my baby bjorn) & DH needs to sleep (if he totals his ship whilst driving he loses his job & can get done for manslaughter). How can I get this little thing to go down in his basket again without just leaving him to howl?...it goes against my instincts for a newborn.

weehector have a cupcake and a glass of chilled rose. I only had mastitis for 2 days but I took anti-b's as soon as I knew I had it. If you can get hold of some do cos they really work. As to the second question Sam's 6 weeks old and is mostly on me. When he's not on me he's screaming, DH is on the sofa at the mo, totally crap but it's just a phase. Well done for sticking with the bf, it will settle down if you can grizz out this agonizing bit :) (sam lives in his hugabub so he gets held and DD gets attention)

No 6 week smiles for us yet :( He's a bit colicky though so gets wind troubles poor mite!

weehector get yourself some antibiotics asap. You don't need to struggle through like this - the drugs do work! Also, well done as chulita said. You're doing a great job. You may just have to find a way to co-sleep with A so you can all get some sleep. I think neenz may be your woman for advice on that one. We only co-sleep from about 5am, and let G snooze on us all evening in between cluster feeds.

We may have found a nice rhythm with regards to feeding, but G still spends a LOT of his time either in the sling or asleep on my shoulder. I don't think he has full on reflex, but he does cover me in regurgitated milk on an hourly basis and permanently has the hiccups!

Also, I do think a lot of it is down to confidence and your life pre-baby. Before ds1, I wasn't a control freak but I was very used to being in control of my own destiny iykwim. Then suddenly ds1 arrived and I was in control of nothing! It used to drive me nuts. This time round, since dh and I are already ruled by a 4 year old, a tiny newborn holds little fear for us! We know that this too shall pass...

As for confidence, I can recognise a truly hungry cry and know when G just wants to suck to get off to sleep. So I'm much happier letting him suck away for 5 minutes then chucking him in the car seat and heading out the door, knowing that the grumbling will cease as soon as the car engine starts...but this knowledge was never at my disposal with ds1. I guess I'm trying to say, don't worry. Everyone finds their way eventually, (even if it takes until you have your second child like us). Also, if the worst comes to the worst and the grumbling turns into screaming crying, I know I can feed G in the nearest car park/bench/starbucks. It just takes a bit of confidence, but the more you do it, the easier it becomes.

I did find nct and baby yoga enormously helpful with ds1 - just knowing other women were struggling too!! It also forced me to get out the house and face the big bad world.

One last thing, a lot of friends have found this company a lifesaver. A bit pricey for my scottish dh and his tightly shut wallet, but I'd use them in a flash if I could sneak it past dh

Hang on in there girls. It will all gradually start to get easier, I promise.

Weehector - ouch! i got mastitis with dd, was shocked how ill i got so quickly. I took paracetamol to reduce fever, drank lots of water [couldn't even hold the glass myself because of shakes] and express continually on that side and it cleared by the next day. I think you should go to the dr/hv tomorrow first thing and get ab's. I don't know how you feel about bottles, but if you can express to help clear mastitis, then dh can give baby some bottles of ebm while you rest. Oh, and i found that the affected boob took a lot of expressing and hot flannels before it would let down any milk at all. Good luck, i hope it gets better for you

F has started really guzzling while feeding now and is getting a bit of a windy tummy, is there anything i can do to slow him down?

Good advice from alice there weehector - but please please remember that the amount of milk you express is not representative of the amount of milk your baby is getting. Some women can express jugs of the stuff, others mere thimbles.

alice I'm sure I read somewhere that feeding lying down with baby on top of you (biological nurturing type position) can help slow them down a bit??? G is also a bit of a guzzler!

girlsyearapart that's exactly the food Izzy is on and she appears to be thriving on it, doesn't seem to be as rare as I had previously thought. Hope you don't mind answering a couple of questions for me as you have been through this.....?

What does your DD2 have now in terms of milk? Still nutrimigen or a different milk? Also, Izzy is coming up for three weeks but is nowhere near the three week weight range - should I continue with the 2 week feeding (3 scoops in 90 mls) or go to the next one (4 scoops in 120mls) she's happily guzzling 90mls now so I think I should move up? Hmm, can you tell I'm a first timer asking silly questions?

How is Tilly getting on with it? I agree - it tastes and smells foul - thankfully she seems quite content with it!

weehector - I have Close carrier for around the house and find it great. Often when he's been asleep in the sling for a while and is really zonked I can ease him out and into the basket. When DP has work in the morning he sleeps on the sofa to get an unbroken night, and DS and I have the bed. I can feed him lying down and doze through feeds so I get a lot more sleep that way too! I don't think leaving a newborn to cry will teach them to sleep away from you anyway, they need the comfort and reassurance of being near you just as much as they need feeding or changing - they won't be newborns forever though! DS is a month old now and everything is already getting so much easier.

Weehector good advice from the experts above and I'll second the fact I think you're doing a great job.

I'll add that if you do express but don't want to use a bottle then you could use a cup as an alternative. They have small baby cups (40mls) with a lip on them that you can use to feed. I was eventually given one in hospital when I was waiting for my milk supply to get going properly but stubbornly refused to bottle feed. The midwife explained that the action of drinking from the cup is very similar to when baby breast feeds so it can be a useful alternative. The technique involved maintaining a steady flow of milk to LO, your MW or HV could show you & you could decide if it suits you or not.

I cup feed my LO for nearly 24hrs, once my milk came in properly we swapped back to breast feeding and there didn't seem to be any disruption.

sparkle dd2 had and has very bad allergies to cows milk protein so had dreadful excema on her face which looked like acid burns. We didn't know it was anything to do with diet until finally referred to dietitian when she was 7 months who took one look at her and gave us a bag of different formulas. Nutramigen aa was the only one that made a difference.
She still has it and will be 2 next Monday, her allergies extend to other foods and she has an epipen but is an extreme case and her dairy allergy is reducing so can now have things with soya in if they're down the list.

She only occasionally has a drink of the nutramigen - in a cup now and sometimes with some pink nesquik!

Wrt amounts just increase the amount if she's draining the bottle don't worry too much about what the packet suggests.Our hv advised making up a bottle 1oz more than they drain. (advantages of prescription formula is that at least you're not literally pouring money down the drain when they leave loads!)

Tilly is fine on it- took to it no prob and is on 4 or 5oz every 4 ish hours and I am also bfing so some feeds are solely bf and some will be bf followed by by 2-3oz formula.

weehector poor you, I remember saying eqiuvalent things to my dh in the first weeks of dd1s life when I really struggled with bfing (and gave up) feel for you.

cellydd2 was cup fed after birth by dh as I was in theatre to remove placenta followed by blood transfusion and she took it no prob.

Great post Blueberries! It does get easier, it's important not to worry all the time. You won't always know exactly what's wrong when the baby cries and you won't always know the best thing to do but you will get there, just do what you think feels right. You can't go far wrong.

Weehector I used paracetemol for mastitis and also a-b's. Express as much as you can from that side too. DH should sleep away from you so he gets a good night's sleep. What does he sail? My BIL works for Maersk as a second mate (just got his officer's ticket). Don't worry if LO wants to be on you all the time at this stage - it's natural. Just keep trying the moses basket and you'll get there.

hello all, sorry haven't been on much - hard to post one handed! james is 7 weeks today and i do feel a lot happier and more confident now, so hang on in there. we have given into co-sleeping the majority of the time and i'm now getting plenty of sleep, including the odd 5 hour stretch. next week we're getting a cosleeper bedside cot.

i find the days vary a lot. yesterday he slept most of the day whereas today he hasn't slept at all but instead has fed all day and refused to be pit down. he had a day like this on wednesday which was a bit hellish on my own but today at least dh is here to bring me food and drink or give me a break for a bit. am envious of those of you with routines!

Hi girls

hope you and your wee ones are all well!

Have been rubbish at saying hi ...as emster said hard to type one handed and am too heavy handed to post on my iphone (keep opening wrong bit)!!!

My little boy Cameron William is a week old today! he was born on 29th aug at 5.29 and was 8lb 1oz and hes just fab. Birth was a bit grim (got into a bit more on antenatal thread)but hes worth every sec

Feel really good today...main thing for me was finally getting hang of sleeping when baby sleeps! Was just convinced he was going to wake up again at first so couldnt nap very well in day where as dp just closes his eyes and drops off easily if its his turn. Excellent cat napper!

Hey ladies

Hope you are all enjoying your little ones. Our gorgeous girl is 10 days old today and I'm crazy about her. Bf is painful and non-stop but having had my latch checked and using bucketloads of Lasinoh, the midwife just suggested that I had especially sensitive nipples so I am just trying to battle on. However our little minx has a new trick where she really wrestles my breast making feeds excruciating for both of us - she tugs, pulls, twists and kneads the nipple and I yell out in pain. I don't know why she's doing this and it makes the feeds inefficient - I've downloaded a nursing app on my iphone that shows that while her lastfeed lasted 1 hour 3 minute feed, she actually only fed for 19 minutes. Anyone find that their LO does this too? Any advice?

Also how are your DPs / DHs? Mine is a doting dad but it's making me sad that he's not patient with my tears and tiredness. I had a big dose of the blues on day 4 and he got really cross and picked a fight with me - all I wanted was a hug. And this morning - even though I had been feeding from 2.30 - 5am, he told me he was in a hurry for work and didn't have time to get me a coffee or do a nappy change when he got up. He ended up doing it out of guilt but I feel quite gutted and a bit of a loser, struggling to feed and clingy to DH who is mostly great but sometimes really hurts my feelings...yet he works so hard for us, am I expecting too much?

L x

girls thanks for the advice - helps to know that there are other people that have been through the same thing and get some help!