Those marks on ears are called Pre auricular pits I believe. DS2 has them. The medical reason for them is that when the ears were forming in the womb, the "pits" are where the ear didn't come together quite acurately. They are usually symmetrical. And usually don't affect hearing in any way at all although this depends how deep the pit is. Most of them are just "surface" ones. DS's are. Sorry if that's boring!
Re what has been said about newborns; DS2 is quite severely disabled. He was also unplanned. I am not going to pretend that being parents to him is not very very hard work and stressful (especially lately; one of the reasons I am under so much stess at the moment as his behavioural difficulties are getting harder to handle, more so than his physical needs) but I have always felt that we have him for a reason; he is supposed to be with us. I know that.
He has always been very hyperactive (ADHD was added to list of diagnoses last year) and doesn't sleep well and when he is asleep, that's the only time he is still and not "all over the place", both physically (he can't "do" still) and attention wise. He didn't have any speech for a long time. I have always felt (even before I began learning about all things spiritual, despite all his problems, he was actually "older and wiser" than me in some way. Even in special care, when he was completely oxygen dependant, still quite poorly and attached to various tubes and wires, his eyes used to follow me (just me) wisely around the room when I was in sight of him. He also smiled at the normal age although for months could do none of things he was "supposed to do". But when he was a baby and I could still hold him without him scrambling out of my arms in the hyper fashion he does now, I used to look into his eyes and feel calm and reassured as if HE knew everything was supposed to be this way. We were so stressed about what was wrong with him (no full proper diagnosis, still haven't) but HE was the most loving and socialable child even though he couldn't anything other babies/toddlers could do. We spent a lot of time trying to convince specialists that he understood much of what what said to him (in a somewhat "normal for his age" fashion) but they clearly thought we were kidding ourselves. These days at school, those that work with him daily know there is a "clever boy" inside somewhere, but he's mostly trapped by his physical problems and some kind of processing difficulities.
When he was about 3 and I was putting him to bed I lay down with him and said "thank you for choosing me to be your Mum "DS" " and he stopped scrambling around (could crawl by then) and lay down and looked straight up at me for the longest time. He just held my gaze forever, it was so strange. And made me feel so emotional. Then he hugged me. Although he's always been a "huggy" child, he is never calm or controlled and he never looks in the same place for more than a few seconds.. far too hyper.. but these moments where very calm and seemed so deliberate.
Typing all this has helped remind me of the child (or more to the point the soul!)inside the child who is causing us so many problems at the moment. I think he is very frustrated by his lack of control over things and so controls us the only way he can by doing "bad" things. He is so hard to handle these days. He talks a lot although it's indistinct if you don't know him. He has severe learning difficulties and often talks quite randomly but communication is so much better than I'd ever hoped. And strangely in the last few months as his speech has develped more, I have noticed that he often says something I was thinking.. it's almost daily.. probably more often than I realise but I don't always notice I suspect. Eg in the car the other day I thought (did not say!) to myself "I need to go and get bread.." and DS, from the back of car announced "Bread!"
I've no idea what all this means but I know DS is here to teach me something and DH. DH who is not prone to saying poetic things (and suffers along with me with much of DS' hard to handle behaviour) once said that he feels as if he was BORN to be DS's dad. Even though between us we have four other children who we love just as much.