Someone has linked me to this thread, and I now know why..!
I am one of the people you speak of, who has no medical reason for not being able to concieve for 8 years. DH and I are ridiculously fertile and always have been.. IVF didn't work, but I knew it wouldn't and I've always had this deep down feeling that I wouldn't have my own baby.
This has frightened me silly for many years and the fear you speak of is very real to me, or has been. I have tried everything, from every therapy in the book, hypnotherapy, regression etc. etc. to the more practical solution of giving up work, changing career, taking time off. You name it, I've done it.
This has led me on one hell of a spiritual path and we've gone from "adoption, NO WAY", to "well let's look into it", to "excited that we are now on that path". I know I won't get pg before we adopt. I've asked so many times why my baby hasn't chosen me... she's very real to me... Mia Eleanor...and I have meditated, visualised her and called her... but she's not coming!!
All our fears about adoption are slowly slipping away... I feel more positive and accepting of this now than I have in years. I now truly believe that we are meant to adopt... that this experience of "unexplained infertility" has led us to be the sort of people who CAN adopt. I know many can't... and it's now made us feel quite special that we are doing this. Special, not in an egotistical way, but in a spiritual way... that our child WILL chose us, but they will chose us via another body!! I completely believe this is meant to be.
That's not to say that it doesn't break my heart that I may never carry my own child, but as time goes on, I am accepting that more and more.
Today, I had my usual monthly reflexology/colour therapy, which I've been having with the same lady for 8 years. She doused me and I needed coral this time, which is a colour I have never picked in 8 years. It is about letting go.
Anyway, I have so much more to say... 8 long years of things to say... but I just wanted to thank you for a lovely thread, because I truly believe any child we are lucky to adopt will be better off with us as a Mum and Dad, purely based on our experiences in the past 8 years.
Oh yes, to Iris66.. your story touched me, because when I was regressed, my Mum's miscarried baby (when I was 14 yrs old) was with me... I got an overwhelming feeling that his spirit was going to be my baby. He told me he wasn't ready back then, but I'm not to blame myself for him not being born (I didn't want Mum to have another baby then). I didn't think much of it for a while, because as per usual, I didn't get pg and I thought "here we go again, another therapist telling me rubbish"... but now we are adopting... well you never know.
Sorry for the long waffle... C xx