Can I just say how pleased I am to have found this thread and what a wonderful idea. I'm realising again the power of prayer.
Do you mind if I introduce myself? I'll try keeping in short...
I'm Caz, I'm 25 and married to a wonderful man, but not a Christian. I am a Christian - Although becamse disillusioned at around the age of 18, and by age 20 had completely given up on God, faith and church. But I knew deep down God had never given up on me, the "still small voice" was always always there, I just chose to try and drown it out.
Recently events in my life has made the still small voice shout louder than ever.
On the 21st June, our first beautiful baby, Anabelle (Belle), was born sleeping. We had been told 5 days before she'd died and it took all that time to induce me. I was 32 weeks.
Devasted was and is an understatement, our whole lives are shattered into little pieces. I've spent weeks really angry at God but despite my anger I knew in my heart my darling little girl was in his arms and is safe in heaven.
It hurts so so much, I don't understand Gods reasons. Maybe I never will - no medical reason was found for her death.
And still the voice kept shouting, my anger has subsided - and the last month or so I have felt finding myself a church to attend is what I need to do, much to the delight of my parents. I've found a baptist church I feel really comfortable in, and have gone for the last two Sundays. Everyone there has been very welcoming and kind. And now I've found this thread. God is really finding me my support network and showing me once again, after all these years he hasn't forgotten about me and I can lean on him. For the first time in a long time, I want and more to the point, need, God to be part of my life.
Two things keep coming back to me time and time again: Phillipians 4v13 and the Hymn "For This I Have Jesus"
Please pray for my husband, who hasn't got the reassurance and peace that I have that Belle is safe with Jesus, I know I'll see her again one day.
My husband, although not a believer himself, has never been hidden from my families Christian values, and is supportive of me returning to church. He has even said that he'll 'occasionally' come with me - which is huge, before Belle died he would've just told me absolutely no way. Maybe he has a still small voice too... I pray that God speaks to him.
Thank you all, for allowing me to spill my heart here.