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Rehomed our dog, so so sad

263 replies

Loonaandalf · 08/09/2025 08:30

I just need to talk, not many people understand the love you have for your dog. We sadly rehomed one of our dogs on Saturday. For no other reason really other than he’s just too big (35kg), he’s a rescue and we’ve had him 4 years. We had a baby in January and the space has just decreased month by month as baby starts to crawl etc. We have another much smaller dog and thought about rehoming her too but chose the big dog in the end as he just seemed to never have space to lie anywhere comfortably. I now regret so much moving into this place, we bought when inflation rates were sky high two years ago which meant we had limited choices on where to buy, our budget was so limited and we live in the suburbs of london so it’s quite expensive. It’s really just a flat with a non direct access garden, we managed quite well until the baby was born and it has just become so difficult space wise recently. Our big dog would just squeeze into any area he could (he’s not into his bed) so I’d constantly be tripping over him with the baby. He was becoming jumpy/ nervous as I was constantly saying things like ‘move’ or accidentally bumping the high chair off him.

Our friends have taken him for a two week trial, although I think they will keep him for good and the term ‘trial’ was more to soften the blow for us. They have more time and much more space, they live closer to countryside but less than a 1.5 hour drive away so we can still see him. He’s a bit nervous in their home but is gradually starting to relax more they’ve said.

We have agreed to take him back for a week end of October as they are going away so it’s good we’ll see him. I am slightly worried that could unsettle him (and us) though.

I’m heartbroken beyond belief and if I had have know I’d feel this bad, I don’t think I would have done it, I felt sort of ok with the idea up until we actually left him. Part of me thought we wouldn’t go through with it. I regret so much moving to a small home, tbh we knew it was small but got a good price at the time when we were struggling to find somewhere, we also thought a baby wouldn’t happen as we needed IVF but luckily it happened very quickly. We sort told ourselves, we’ll manage at the time, and sell in a few years when we grow out of it but it’s been 1.5 years exactly since we’ve moved in and I don’t see us moving to a bigger space at least for 3-4 years. I just feel stupid and guilty that we didn’t consider things a bit more, we probably could have looked harder or moved slightly further out back then, we knew a baby was on the cards so shame on us for not planing a better move at the time. He’s such a perfect dog and I miss him so much. Part of me wants them to call us and say this isn’t working, take your dog back so then I wouldn’t have to make this awful decision. I know that would be silly, they’ll have more time for walks, attention and stimulation. I have barely pet the dogs since the baby was born and I feel so bad about that.

OP posts:
LandSharksAnonymous · 08/09/2025 08:46

I’m really sorry you had to go through this, and it’s good you put your dog first.

But you need to give him a clean break now to build a bond - and a life - with new people, without you encroaching on it. You’ve already said he’s ‘nervous’ in his new home and he’s not going to settle if you’re constantly seeing him or having him. I think it would be incredibly cruel to have him for a week in less than a month, and it will confuse him and stress him a lot.

I’m sorry, but you’ve made your choice now - you have to stick with, and not make things worse for the dog you got rid of or, indeed, the one you chose to keep.

Hoppinggreen · 08/09/2025 08:49

Its good you put him first in the end but I will not give you a pat on the head for it
Rehoming a dog because you have had a baby is shitty

Mutability · 08/09/2025 08:51

Sounds like the dog will have a happier life with your friends.

I agree with pp - make a clean break for the dog’s sake. I’d think again about having him back in your home. This will just unsettle the poor dog again.

TheNightingalesStarling · 08/09/2025 08:52

You'll be called all sorts of names, but sometimes loving an animal means letting them go to a situation more suited to them. Far too many pets are kept in unsuitable conditions.

(All you allowed to rehome a rescue yourself? I thought sometimes they had to go back to the original charity?)

3pears · 08/09/2025 08:53

Don’t have the dog back in your home- this will be so so confusing for him

caringcarer · 08/09/2025 08:57

It must be very tough on both you and the dog. You were lucky you had friends that would take him and give him a happy life. No matter how hard it is for you don't keep going over to see him or take him back for a weekend as it will unsettled him and he'll think he's coming back home to live. If need be paying for a kennel for a weekend for your friends. You still have your other dog who also must be missing the big dog so try to give the little dog attention.

LittleAlexHornesPocket · 08/09/2025 08:59

Hope you've got your hard hat on OP. Personally I think you've made the right choice, and it sounds like you didn't really have any options but you'll get a lot of posters unable to understand other people's situations who will be calling you all sorts of names shortly. As already evidenced above. I would worry that you're not going to feel better after reading this thread!

TheLilacStork · 08/09/2025 09:01

You put your dog first and hopefully he’ll settle and be happy with people you know and trust with him. If he was getting jumpy and nervous and always felt in the way that wasn’t ideal for him. Don’t beat yourself up. You were being realistic. Don’t overthink having him back if it’s truly not fair on him

rosemarycait96 · 08/09/2025 09:10

I am so sorry you're going through this. We rehomed our lovely greyhound last year and it was one of the worst things I've ever had to do. He was a very funny, affectionate but anxious dog who needed lots of ongoing training for everything from separation anxiety to dog reactivity and intense prey drive. We'd poured our hearts into working with him, got behaviourists, joined support groups etc. He had been struggling immensely since we had our first child, he would growl and be visibly on edge even being in the same room as our son. He started messing in the house and whining constantly. I was heavily pregnant with our second child and we just couldn't do it anymore. The rescue were very understanding. We concluded it would be kinder to let him go. He's 9 now, living his last years as the only pet in the West Country with a single lady who volunteers at a greyhound rescue. He is so much better off now.

My heart was broken. But when you can see it's the right choice for their welfare, it's the right way to go.

IneedtheeohIneedtheeeveryhourIneedthee · 08/09/2025 09:11

I have plenty of sympathy but none of it is for you I'm afraid.

Belladog1 · 08/09/2025 09:16

I would rather sleep in a tent outside myself than rehome my dog/s. I actually took on a rental that was much bigger than I needed as a single woman with a garden that I didn't really want, just so my dogs could have their sofa in the lounge and space to wander around outside.

I hope your dog enjoys his new home (and I agree with the others, a clean break is required), and I hope your family have the extra space you need .... but I couldn't have done this. My dogs are my family.

GAJLY · 08/09/2025 09:16

I think it will work out well for you and the dog. The dog will get more attention and space and get to visit you when you pet sit. I'm sure he'll love to see you occasionally so he knows you haven't totally abandoned him. He'll grow to understand that he's moved but gets to see you sometimes. I hope your friends treat him well, keep an eye on him and check on him. Take him back if there's any problems.

Salvadoridory · 08/09/2025 09:20

Belladog1 · 08/09/2025 09:16

I would rather sleep in a tent outside myself than rehome my dog/s. I actually took on a rental that was much bigger than I needed as a single woman with a garden that I didn't really want, just so my dogs could have their sofa in the lounge and space to wander around outside.

I hope your dog enjoys his new home (and I agree with the others, a clean break is required), and I hope your family have the extra space you need .... but I couldn't have done this. My dogs are my family.

Me too. I agree with a PP its awful because the dog is too big and there's a baby. Fair enough id there's a danger bit the cubic volume of a creature shouldn't determine its worth. Friends sound like the perfect rehome scenario. Let's hope they hang on to him because the shelters are full and big dogs for bait training are always appreciated.

BoredZelda · 08/09/2025 09:25

You made some bad choices. Thankfully the dog now has somewhere that’s suited to him. Don’t take him back, even for a week. You are still putting your needs ahead of those of the dog, you’ve done the right thing by him now, don’t change that.

Glitchymn1 · 08/09/2025 09:28

He sounds like he will be much better somewhere quiet with more space. It’s someone you know, who sounds like they’ll give him a good life.
Concentrate on the little dog you still have and let the bid dog go. It sounds like it’s for the best.

What do the new owners intend to do going forward when they go away? Are you going to be the default sitter?

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 08/09/2025 09:37

I feel for everyone here. I could no more rehome my dog than I could cut off my leg, but I am fortunate enough to have space and no small children. People's circumstances can change and they can find themselves unable to cope with an animal that they love very much. Rehoming is acting in the best interests of the dog sometimes and I think we shouldn't pour too much scorn or shame onto those who do. Nobody should be forced to keep an animal they can no longer manage out of guilt.

VioletBramble · 08/09/2025 09:38

Let him go. Taking him back for holidays would be the ultimate act of cruelty.

Starlight1984 · 08/09/2025 09:39

Belladog1 · 08/09/2025 09:16

I would rather sleep in a tent outside myself than rehome my dog/s. I actually took on a rental that was much bigger than I needed as a single woman with a garden that I didn't really want, just so my dogs could have their sofa in the lounge and space to wander around outside.

I hope your dog enjoys his new home (and I agree with the others, a clean break is required), and I hope your family have the extra space you need .... but I couldn't have done this. My dogs are my family.

This. Your home isn't just yours and your child's home. It is your dogs home too. You decided to have a baby in a tiny flat with two dogs and then just give one of the dogs away because he's "too big"?

Hopefully your friends can give him a lovely life.

Dontcallmescarface · 08/09/2025 09:41

I think you have done the right thing, you loved the dog enough to do what's best for him however hard that decision was. I would say though, that having him back, even for a week, is not the best thing for either him or you. It needs to be a clean break no matter how painful you find it as the dog simply won't understand why you've rejected him again. You say you love him (and I believe you), so for his sake you need to let him go.

Sodastreamin · 08/09/2025 09:44

You cannot just rehome a dog because he’s in your bloody way! Wow. I hope he’s happier where he is. Dogs are part of your family. Would you rehome a child because they’ve grown? No you’d find a way to move to accommodate. Did you not consider space when you decided to have a baby? Poor thing

LandSharksAnonymous · 08/09/2025 09:44

GAJLY · 08/09/2025 09:16

I think it will work out well for you and the dog. The dog will get more attention and space and get to visit you when you pet sit. I'm sure he'll love to see you occasionally so he knows you haven't totally abandoned him. He'll grow to understand that he's moved but gets to see you sometimes. I hope your friends treat him well, keep an eye on him and check on him. Take him back if there's any problems.

No. He won’t grow to understand at all. He’ll likely be incredibly confused and stressed. OP having the dog back for a week and seeing it whenever she wishes is for her benefit, not the dogs - indeed, a complete rehome never seeing OP again would be best for the dog.

There’s a reason when you give your dog up to a rescue the old owner isn’t allowed to see them again - because it’s difficult for the dog and makes adjusting much harder.

CaroleLandis · 08/09/2025 09:45

What have you got in place for the poor dog if the friends in the future split up or they can’t cope with a big dog especially if he develops anxiety after being palmed off to them?

What about the rescue that you got him from? They sometimes have rules about rehoming animals after they have been adopted.

What about the little dog you have, is he/she missing their friend? What will you do if the little dog becomes anxious because the big dog has suddenly disappeared? Will that too get booted out?

itsoktonotbeokitstrue · 08/09/2025 09:46

I am a massive animal lover and I have had to rehome a couple of small pets because my situation changed and I couldn’t cope. But dogs and cats are different as they form massive bonds with their owners. I told my husband when we got the dog, once we have her that’s it. You don’t abandon dogs you know.

Sarah2891 · 08/09/2025 09:46

Sorry, but this just makes me very sad for the dog. To me they are family members.
Please don't distress him more by having him back for visits.

Wolfiefan · 08/09/2025 09:46

You shouldn’t have had a baby if you didn’t have the room. You chose to cram more people into a small space.
People shouldn’t get animals then ditch them when they have a baby.
Rescues generally say a dog should be returned to them if you can’t keep them. Why didn’t you do that?