Is husband exploiting daughter or is this ok?

[PelucheCat]

I need some help with reality please. I'm going to try and just post the facts.

DH works away.
DD is student at uni in expensive UK city.
DH has now got job there, and rented a flat.
DH has asked DD to move in, and pay 50% of rent and 50% bills.
DH has a very good wage.
Turns out DD won't be on the tenancy agreement.
DH would be subletting as it's only a one bedroom flat, agency not aware.
Total for DD would be same as she's already paying.

I would like to know what others think about this situation. Thanks.

It sounds insecure for your DD. What’s in it for her? It costs the same as her current set up, but has strings attached.

If its a 1 bed flat, where do they both sleep? In your Dds shoes, I'd also not share with a parent when a) I want independence and b) there's no financial incentive to share like this. But that's me!

Apart from the legalities of it, what kind of life is this for your daughter? Where is she supposed to sleep in this one bed flat? How can she have friends come round or a boyfriend to stay over?

How can they share a one bedroom flat? Would your dd not rather be with friends and peers as its costing the same? What about her soc5life..she may get isolated from her college friends. My dc would not have liked this.

Your DH is being unfair. Is he her DF

Why would he charge her rent on a share of a 1 bedroom flat? Is he broke?

Can’t see her wanting to do that if it’s not going to benefit her in any way financially.

That sounds just weird. She isn’t his comfort blanket in a new city. She should be having fun and nights out with other students.

Why on earth would a young woman wish to
live in a one bedroom flat - presumably one bathroom too - with her dad while she is a university student if she has any other choice that costs the same?’

No privacy and likely to be more judgement of her choices if nothing else. Also awkward for him surely.

Is he currently contributing to her living costs at university? Will he pay for food etc?

He’s taking the piss.

If he can’t afford the rent himself he should look for an alternative. Like a house share.

Very weird. Why would your DD want to live with her dad in a 1 bed flat ( or actually any flat!) when she's at Uni?!

Your husband lives in a different city to you and wants his (?) daughter to move into a 1 bedroom flat with him? With no legal rights and zero benefit to her?

Something is not right.

What is he thinking of?? It seems almost incredible that a father could even begin to expect that his daughter would share a one bed flat with him, with no room of her own, no privacy, no rights and no financial benefit to her? Unless I'm missing some key fact, this is beyond unreasonable.

Has he always been a money grabbing toad with zero thought to others?

This doesn't make any sense

It’s of no benefit to her. If I were her I’d say no.

Yes of course he is.
I hope you tell her NOT to do this.

1 bedroom? Nope.

On top of that, there’s no security for her and frankly if at uni she should be living with other young people and having fun and making new connections.

Step-dad???

He is her father and he earns good money then he should not be taking a cent of her. I am lucky to earn well and I see it as my duty to fund my child living accommodation at uni. Totally different if I didn’t have it to give.

This is wrong for so many reasons. Your DD is being taken advantage of. What kind of a father does this to their child? 😳 if it’s a stepdad then I’d be even more angry at the selfishness and audacity of it.

How is the poor girl meant to have a bit of how's your father, if said father is there?!
Just no.
Would only work if:
She had wanted to live at home anyway
Had the main room whilst he had the lounge
Hated her current flatmates
Was ND/needing a supportive adult
She was actually saving money by only paying a third or him cooking her for each night.
Otherwise no benefit to her at all and she should decline.

Gosh why would he do that to his own daughter? She either needs to be a formal tenant or have a hugely reduced rent.

I would've hated my dad to expect me to move in with him while at uni, let alone a 1 bed flat. I would rather had left uni than do that tbh.

I hope your daughter says no, sounds like a terrible 'deal' for her and a little odd that it is even on the table.

Sounds crazy to me. We paid our daughter‘a rent at Uni as our share of her maintenance costs( so if it similar for you, You’d be paying yourselves!!) - how is your daughter funding her Uni life? What about friends, socialising and developing independence?
I certainly do think your husband is exploiting her and she’s getting a very poor deal!!

No…..this is odd.

So odd.