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My Daughter's 15 minutes of fame - devastated

213 replies

BigBessie · 22/10/2023 06:33

I have a daughter in her late 20's. She has set up really successful business and is not only earning a good salary but she mentors and supports younger women to become entrepreneurs.
She was on tv this weekend being interviewed about her lifestyle and how she got there.
It has been shared all over on social media and the comments are horrific. From slating her looks to sexual assault threats.
I have stopped reading the comments but am devastated to read such vitriol regarding my child

OP posts:
Tealtoffee · 22/10/2023 09:36

These people hate themselves, hate their own shitty lives, they are pretty sad and pathetic creatures. Shirley Ballas nearly gave up judging on Strictly because of the online abuse she was getting - she employed someone to deal with her social media accounts - sometimes ignorance is bliss, you give these idiots power by reading their shit.

Nonplusultra · 22/10/2023 09:38

Vile little men. I have so much admiration for women who put themselves in the public eye. I don’t have a clue who your dd is, but I’m also cheering her on from the sidelines. Don’t pay too much heed to the grim and nasty vermin on SM. Their views are utterly irrelevant.

Brene Brown has a wonderful book called Daring Greatly that I would recommend

Daring Greatly

In a world where “never enough” dominates and feeling afraid has become second nature, vulnerability is subversive.

https://brenebrown.com/book/daring-greatly/

Mrsjayy · 22/10/2023 09:41

Tealtoffee · 22/10/2023 09:36

These people hate themselves, hate their own shitty lives, they are pretty sad and pathetic creatures. Shirley Ballas nearly gave up judging on Strictly because of the online abuse she was getting - she employed someone to deal with her social media accounts - sometimes ignorance is bliss, you give these idiots power by reading their shit.

This, they hate themselves more than their "targets" .

I didn't know that about Shirley Ballas .

sunnyseed · 22/10/2023 09:46

BigBessie · 22/10/2023 07:03

A lot of the comments are from men saying that she "obviously" does Only Fans to be earning that kind of salary. Yet further saying she is ugly.

Why does this not surprise me? There is a certain subset of society who seem to hold women in distain who like to belittle or ridicule women and bring it back to looks etc. resorting to petty insults.

It is jealousy and they don’t like the way your daughter’s success feel about themselves because they haven’t been as successful. It’s almost like there is a sense of entitlement that it should have been them.

Xtraincome · 22/10/2023 09:49

Hi OP. I have no context about your DDs success other than what you've said and I can safely say she sounds amazing!

The more role models girls (and boys, alike) have to admire, the better. The hate-fuelled trolls are sadly a big part of the millennial and Gen X and early Gen Z. It will take them a long time to die off so we have many more years of them wasting precious oxygen. You have taught your girl to rise above it as best she can- well done. The best form of revenge is success and your DD has proven that.

sunnyseed · 22/10/2023 09:52

It feels like we are going backwards and there is a section of society that do not want women to do well. As a mum to a daughter myself this makes me feel sad to see this going on.

OneOfThoseOldFashionedWomen · 22/10/2023 09:52

LoudSnoringDog · 22/10/2023 07:07

There’s an awful lot of men who sit on the internet commenting on women. They are generally sat in their childhood bedroom, still at home being looked after by Mummy. Failed relationships due to being immature / idiot/ abusive. So they hate women and because they have no actual physical women in their life to converse too ( apart from their Mum/ Nan ) they transfer their rage at failing in adult life onto successful women.

Ah that's right. Still blame a woman for a man's failings.

Conkersinautumn · 22/10/2023 09:52

Hopefully they'll deown in their own bile. Horrible people who know they've just not got the character or potential of someone like your daughter.

More power to your daughter, she sounds brilliant.

pieinthesky10 · 22/10/2023 09:53

Good for your Daughter we need many, many more successful women like her, giving a leg up to other women.

Keep telling her to be tough and resilient, there are an army of non public women here who are totally behind her and cheer her achievements.
This type of horrendous sexism has always been there but now the cowards have a platform....shame on these men..pathetic little creatures.

GoodStuffAnnie · 22/10/2023 09:53

Try using Arwen.ai

janicegarvey · 22/10/2023 09:54

I own my own business and get this from time to time, but it's particularly worse for young women. People (many men but women too) cannot stand successful young women, it reminds them of their own incompetencies and failures.

Agree with all the others, particularly this from a pp

I am not particularly young, but I'm a woman who has my own successful business and it seems to really trigger some men who absolutely hate it and want to tell me so. They also hate what I do (beauty / aesthetics), probably because what I do boosts women's confidence

When I get trolling comments on my ads and posts, 90% are men.

Turquoisesea · 22/10/2023 09:55

Anyone who tries to make themselves feel better at the expense of trying to make others feel worse are just pathetic human beings. If your daughter met these people in real life they wouldn’t dare say the things to her face. I agree that they are probably very sad individuals who are jealous of her success particularly as she’s a woman. Congratulations to your DD, she sounds brilliant, as hard as it is, try not to read the opinions of these people as they obviously lead very sad lonely lives to be so bitter and awful.

IDidNotSignUpForThis · 22/10/2023 09:56

The higher you climb the more people try to pull you down. It seems like all successful women are subject to this hate online. And it always comes down to the usual misogynistic abuse- fat/ ugly/ unsexy . I despair of the world we live in.

PinkyDinkyDoodle · 22/10/2023 10:01

Your daughter sounds brilliant. Well done to her. Social media can be a cesspit, but she will
be inspiring the next generation of women; every step she takes will be treading a path that makes it easier for others to follow.

Queucumber · 22/10/2023 10:01

Stopsnowing · 22/10/2023 09:28

so sorry. Unfortunately this is typical of the misogyny directed at women. I had a friend who was giving an important speech on an important topic and her employer advised her to turn off her social platforms before she did so to avoid being attacked.
it is a huge problem. It undermines and silenced women. And in a world where having an online presence is essential for career development etc it has a very negative impact. I have never understood why behaviour that would be pursued as a public order offence irl is allowed to go unpunished online.

This ^

Don’t read the trolls messages and encourage your DD not to read them either. Those comments aren’t a reflection on your DD, her appearance or her personality. I know they must seem horrifically personal but if you checked the social media feeds of a dozen high profile women you’d see how universal they are. They’re misogynist’s standard reaction to women, particularly women who seem confident and successful.

Heyhoherewegoagain · 22/10/2023 10:05

I have tried my best to bring her up confidently. I hope I have done this

I think that given how’s she’s dealing with it, it’s safe to say you have!

SoShallINever · 22/10/2023 10:06

I think that ripping people apart on social media should be a crime, in the same way as if they had been verbally abused in the street.
It's abhorrent.

Lovelycupofcoffee · 22/10/2023 10:10

Unfortunately the internet is a bit of a hiding place for people that don’t have lives but think it’s ok to be vile to other people. More action needs to be taken to stop it . I hope you are ok and it sounds like you have done an amazing job bringing your daughter up .

Lampzade · 22/10/2023 10:14

There is no doubt in my mind that the people who send vile posts are complete saddos.
People who are successful and content with their lives ( such as op’s dd) would not want to inflict pain on others
Misogyny is rife. Too many incels at home with nothing but Pornhub , their left hand and an old sock . I pity them

Lwrenagain · 22/10/2023 10:17

Lovelynames123 · 22/10/2023 08:09

I've been through similar, not on a national level, but locally, where I was ridiculed and bullied on a Facebook page. My crime, having a successful business and giving back to the community. I actually reported the ring leader to the police, she was warned about malicious communication and had to write me an apology. Unfortunately, all that changed was she kept my name out of it.

Luckily, I'm a strong person, surrounded by support, as it sounds your dd is, and it only spurred me on to do better. I've an even more successful business and those idiots are still sitting on their arses spouting bile from behind a keyboard.

It's hurtful, but it is so important to rise above it. She'll never meet these people, they are cowards with nothing good going for them. Onwards and upwards ❤️

Ah thats horrid! I've seen this locally, a fella has spent millions of his own cash regenerating an area and he's literally abused online by people for doing so. Comments sections mostly, as a wonderful PP pointed out, they're just the mouthy lonely pub twats. Though she said it much more eloquently 😂

jlpth · 22/10/2023 10:21

The kind of person who would type out such bile is a sad weirdo with nothing to do. The internet is full of jealous keyboard warriors writing utter rubbish.

DeathRattleDazzle · 22/10/2023 10:25

It is a bit modern but I do try to think 'haters gonna hate' which really just sums it up. Doesn't matter who, what, where or when, they just spout their hate. They must be so miserable 🤷‍♀️

LaMadameCholet · 22/10/2023 10:25

Congratulations to your daughter for her success, how great that she is mentoring too. 💐
I do worry when I read threads like this, as posters often quite understandably suggest “Oh these kind of comments come from incels, or sad men with no lives who live with their Mum”. The reality is that whilst that is partially true, many of these foul comments also come from men who are apparently “normal “ - functioning, partners, husbands, fathers. The culture of making negative and threatening comments on social media comments is so normalised it’s terrifying.

Butterfly44 · 22/10/2023 10:29

This happens on almost every social media post. Keyboard warriors looking to be controversial.