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Original poster

My Daughter's 15 minutes of fame - devastated

213 replies

BigBessie · 22/10/2023 06:33

I have a daughter in her late 20's. She has set up really successful business and is not only earning a good salary but she mentors and supports younger women to become entrepreneurs.
She was on tv this weekend being interviewed about her lifestyle and how she got there.
It has been shared all over on social media and the comments are horrific. From slating her looks to sexual assault threats.
I have stopped reading the comments but am devastated to read such vitriol regarding my child

OP posts:
DeathRattleDazzle · 22/10/2023 08:21

She sounds amazing. She has already achieved far more for herself and others than these pathetic weirdos will in their whole lives.

I can imagine how much it hurts you. That's so hard.

UtterlyButterly2048 · 22/10/2023 08:21

Congratulations to your daughter. She sounds amazing and you must be extremely proud 🥰
Re: the awful comments……To some very small minded people, the success of others is very threatening. These are insecure, unhappy people, dissatisfied with their own life but unwilling to do anything about it, so they lash out at others who they perceive have “more”.
I know it’s hard, but do try and ignore it. A lot of these comments will come from sad little men, sat in their mums basement in a pair of y fronts, eating a pot noodle and hating on life. Key board warriors who wouldn’t DARE say things like that in real life. They are irrelevant.

Namedchangedtohide · 22/10/2023 08:24

I wrote something that was adapted for a very high profile TV drama.

There was a huge amount of press across all media and I made the mistake of reading the comments on social media and below the line in articles. For all the good press and many nice comments, there was some absolutely vile, VILE comments. I couldn't believe it. Sexist, racist, just fucking awful.

I had to stop looking to protect myself and my mental health. But it was very stressful and dampened what should have been an amazing moment.

Tell your daughter not to look, hold her head up and feel very very proud of her achievements.

Ollifer · 22/10/2023 08:24

Social media is evil, that's why I'm no longer on Facebook, Instagram, etc. People are keyboard warriors who lead very sad lives and unfortunately women seem to be the main target, especially successful ones. I hope your daughter doesn't let this knock her confidence, these people are jealous and very pathetic and it's no reflection on her at all.

Emotionalsupportviper · 22/10/2023 08:24

I learned (after similar moments from people devastated me) to ignore any comments or criticism from people I:

a) don't know

b) don't respect

c) have nothing better to do than be malicious towards people they have never met.

Easy to say, I know, and not easy to do, but if you can ut this aside and attribute ithe comments to what they are - jealousy and vindictiveness - it will make like easier*

And I also admit that I would be devastated for my child if she came under such a nasty attack (more so than for myself). Just remember that these people are below contempt - they are pathetic losers and don't deserve your headspace.

*Not sure if I could have done this when I was young, though - but then again, I couldn't build a business and earn myself a good salary, either! Your daughter has emotional and psychological reserves that most of us would love to possess.

StillWantingADog · 22/10/2023 08:25

Not quite to the same degree but I was on tv too about a year ago and was really really shocked by the stuff that came up on social media afterwards. I’m 44 and managed to just ignore it.

it’s really awful, you both need to just ignore it, sounds like your dd is doing great

Ollifer · 22/10/2023 08:26

Also, I work in construction and I've had to deal with a lot of misogyny, the way I've dealt with it is staying strong and being the very best I can at my job. It's quite funny a few promotions later now being above some of the arsehole men who were bullying towards me in the first couple of years.

windemupwatchemgo · 22/10/2023 08:27

Your daughter sounds fab, @BigBessie.

The internet is full of pathetic little individuals who just want to kick someone because they have no friends and no lives and will never achieve anything. This applies to both men and women. Men make violent threats because they can't stand to see women being successful, and women make bitchy comments because they can't stand to see other women being successful. The internet is a cesspit.

Firebug007 · 22/10/2023 08:27

I'd be making copies of the messages and sending them to their partners, friends and employers but I'm an arsehole tbh. She'll encounter this throughout her life if successful so unfortunately she needs to develop her own coping mechanisms for it. There's some good advice here 💐

Stepbystepfan · 22/10/2023 08:28

It’s 100% jealousy. Your daughter should be very proud of herself. Social media can be vile. It’s pathetic how some people hide behind a screen and think they can type anything. They aren’t worth a second thought. I’d much rather be your daughter than one of those disgusting people.

Squirrelsnut · 22/10/2023 08:34

The comments say nothing about your daughter and everthing about the rancid sadsacks who made them.

gotomomo · 22/10/2023 08:37

There's a subset of people, mostly men who spend their days trawling social media and posting derogatory comments, it can be about anything but a successful young woman will be a particular target. X (Twitter) is the biggest issue as the current owners don't care, other platforms are better moderated so it's worth asking them to remove such posts

Tilllly · 22/10/2023 08:37

Sad bunch of wankpuffins

Frightened by a successful, inspiring woman

You've raised an amazing person, be proud and ignore the pathetic comments

ThisIsntThe80sPat · 22/10/2023 08:39

Your daughter sounds inspirational. She's doing something she loves and helping other women build their confidence to do the same. That's amazing.

The trolls on Facebook made me really unlike lots of pages and keep what I'm following to an absolute minimum as the comments would really affect my mood (on everything from fun pages to news). Please don't let the comments bring you down. Social Media is full of horrid comments everywhere.

Flyingthroughtrees · 22/10/2023 08:40

joelmillersbackpack · 22/10/2023 07:45

I think social media has opened up a window on how much so many men truly hate women. No matter what she was being interviewed for, they would have found fault, being too pretty or too ugly, too loud or too quiet, too successful or not successful enough, it’s always something.

Good for your daughter, you should be so proud of what she’s achieved and I hope she knows these horrible trolls would never dare speak to her like that in real life. They’re not fit to lick her boots.

All of this. As a young woman I sneered at Getmaine Greer’s comment that most women have no idea how much men hate them. Thirty years on I have realised there is more truth in that for far more men than I realized.

It’s not so much jealousy as a deep hatred of women.

Mackeroo · 22/10/2023 08:40

You must be so proud of your daughter. Congratulations to her on her success and for passing forward her expertise.
I would report any threatening posts and ignore the rest.... how utterly pathetic those peoples' lives must be that they feel the need to try and drag a good person down.

gotomomo · 22/10/2023 08:41

My dd is one of only 4 women doing her job - she is actually keeping it quiet publicly for these sorts of reasons, I want to shout from the rooftops! She won't be able to keep it quiet forever due to the publicity machine at work for she (and we) have fully locked down social media and any other platforms are using anonymous names eg this one to protect her privacy

Flyingthroughtrees · 22/10/2023 08:41

I heard a good line in a children’s picture book actually. ‘Their words are their’s to carry. Don’t you carry them.’

PixiePirate · 22/10/2023 08:42

You must be so proud of your daughter! Please pass on my congratulations to her and well done to you for raising a strong female leader. She sounds like exactly what we need.

Sadly I’m not at all surprised at the vitriol she’s experiencing but please be sure that it reflects absolutely nothing about her personally and everything to do with the endemic misogyny within our society that is amplified on social media. These are the types of men that scare and insult us when we ignore or politely shut down their sexual advances.

As I said, your daughter is EXACTLY what we as a society need. Shame on those pathetic, insecure men and boys. I’m a mum of teenage boys and we’re raising them to respect women and challenge this type of behaviour when they witness it. I also make a point of supporting men when I see them challenging this kind of thing online.

Your daughter’s impact and the impact of those of us challenging ignorant and nasty behaviour will travel so much further than the irrational vitriol of those pathetic losers.

TheWonderSpot · 22/10/2023 08:44

This is what social media is like for women. OP your daughter stands against a world of hatred for women and girls

HairyMaclairey · 22/10/2023 08:46

I'd be making copies of the messages and sending them to their partners, friends and employers but I'm an arsehole tbh.

No, I think you are awesome.

These people should be called out, and reported so they get a knock on the door by the police in front of all their family and neighbours and everyone thinks they are the local weirdo and shuns them.

ThePoshUns · 22/10/2023 08:47

BigBessie · 22/10/2023 07:03

A lot of the comments are from men saying that she "obviously" does Only Fans to be earning that kind of salary. Yet further saying she is ugly.

Sadly for your daughter there are some men, who sue to their lack of looks and personality are unable to form positive relationships with women. Because of their bitterness about the lack sex in their lives ( that they think they are owed) they spend their sad lives online seeking out women like your daughter to abuse. Ignore them or if it's really bad report them to Police.

Fran2023 · 22/10/2023 08:50

So sorry that you and your daughter are going through this.

Your daughter sounds awesome, and I agree it is absolutely jealousy and misogyny that is driving those nasty comments.

Don’t let the trolls drag either of you down!

MaggieBsBoat · 22/10/2023 08:56

My sister works in policing and she has said that the biggest social problem nowadays and for the last few years, is incels.
vile humans.

i am proud of your daughter. She’s doing an amazing thing. Of course hateful misogynists will be drawn to her to denigrate her achievements and try to bring her down. She must remember

  1. she is mighty 2)for every one person who hates, there are hundreds who admire her and will use her experience as a clarion call.

Congratulations @BigBessie ‚s daughter!!!

CrazyHamsterLady · 22/10/2023 08:59

Agreed, give these people no headspace and only focus on the nice comments. If it helps, my husband once invented a magic trick and put out a YouTube video. Oh my, the abuse he got for it! Nasty comments, the lot. But it’s the same for most inventors of magic tricks as I found once I started scrolling YouTube. People are just jealous, talentless and have nothing better to do with their time.

Dont let this ruin her big moment.