My Daughter's 15 minutes of fame - devastated

[BigBessie]

I have a daughter in her late 20's. She has set up really successful business and is not only earning a good salary but she mentors and supports younger women to become entrepreneurs.
She was on tv this weekend being interviewed about her lifestyle and how she got there.
It has been shared all over on social media and the comments are horrific. From slating her looks to sexual assault threats.
I have stopped reading the comments but am devastated to read such vitriol regarding my child

The Andrew Tate crew. Ignore. They are thick misogynists and total losers.

Unfortunately this is just how it is these days with lots of men (and some women). I graduated from uni not long ago and many men there genuinely believe that all women are either already on OF or will soon be on OF if the economy goes to shit. I sadly came into some inheritance recently and when moving houses sparked rumours among my wider social group that I was now on the bloody site. The ugly thing doesn't matter because they believe that as long as you fulfil certain niche kinks, your face/body won't matter.

It's sick but it's not personal to your DD and just a wider reflection on how women are thought of in society today. Your DD sounds amazing and inspirational by the way. You should be proud!

That’s horrific op. I have two young adult DDs and that would really knock them for six too. I do think TV production should cover this with unknowns making TV appearances and prepare them somehow as it must happen a lot.
I would say she must not reply to these comments but do report them.
She sounds wonderful and she should be very proud of herself!

Well done to your daughter for following her dreams, working hard and inspiring others.

40 years ago I was promoted at work & given a large pay rise. I rushed home to my boyfriend to share the good news , thinking we could afford a nice holiday (no children). He a accused me of sleeping with the directors as "no way would they have given it to you otherwise ". I was devastated. He was just jealous as I would be earning more than him. Needless to say I left him shortly afterwards.I later met & married a man who celebrates my achievements.

Congratulations on raising a wonderful daughter.

PM me with a link or post it here and we’ll go through reporting and harvest the good ones

Social media is absolute poison . It should never have been invented.
Big congratulations to your daughter for her fantastic achievements.
I hope she (and you) can move on from this.
The trolls with nothing better to do will soon move on to another target

You're on social media right now. And of course, on this site, for every supportive thread like this one, there are dozens in which posters are unspeakably cruel.

OP this thread might interest the press. It’s up to you but might add more stress.

Actually, she is somewhat ambivalent about it. She says she is used to it. She gets haters all over her social media.
When I was her age I wanted to kill myself because people at school picked on me for having eczema.
I have tried my best to bring her up confidently. I hope I have done this

Don’t read them and advise your daughter not to. She’s a successful woman mentoring others. Why does she need to waste a moment of her precious time on these little saddos?

Unfortunately anyone who has any type of fame or exposure usually comes in for the same treatment. Some people are so jealous and bitter about their own lives as they did not make of themselves what they wanted or achieved their goals, they love to tear others down to make themselves feel better.

There is one lesson that I have learned and I keep with me. 10% of people will hate what you do, no matter how fantastic or amazing it is. If you can accept this, then it makes things easier.

Well done to your daughter for her achievements and for supporting other women

Despite the spin we still live in a strongly patriarchal society and plenty of men will loath any woman who steps out of a narrow line. There will also be plenty of handmaidens to side with them.

I'd take it as she is doing something right and report every direct message to the relevant platform/police as appropriate.

Sex is the only protected characteristic for which hate speech is not a crime - men know this.

1. Social media is where the majority of the scum on the planet live. I left Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc years ago.
2. Put this to one side, and offer to take your daughter out for a meal to celebrate her success! Both of you dress up, and take time to acknowledge how amazing your daughter is.

Easier said than done, OP, but try not to let it get to you.

A lot of these trolls are literal children. They're just having 'fun' on the internet and impressing their mates with shitty comments.

Your daughter sounds like an amazing woman. Take your lead from her and shake off these nasty comments.

A pp's suggestion to have a friend (or MN) trawl through the comments for you is a great idea.

It's shocking that your DD should need to hide like this

You and OP must be so proud of your DDs good luck to them

Beyond disgusting keyboard trolls.
I hope your DD ignores all the garbage and keeps her head held high and well done to her for her successful career.

I was on TV being interviewed once, many years ago. That evening I was in my local pub having a quiet drink with my then partner. When my ex went to the bathroom, a man approached, said he'd seen my slot that morning and announced that in his esteemed opinion he wouldn't 'do' me because he 'doesn't like gingers.'
The slot was about a book, and he looked like an unwashed Shrek.
Some men simply cannot cope with the fact that women aren't for them and do not exist simply in relation to them. They also cannot process that as a thought. It turns into misogynistic rage, derision and petty threats. They're pathetic.

Congratulations to your daughter; she sounds fab!

Well done to your daughter, how brilliant that she's mentoring too.
The dregs of society have their day being vicious on social media. They are nothing. For every nasty little gobshite we find out there we should look around and notice the decent men and women, the ones that get along every day, work hard if they are able and place kindness and decency toward all front and centre of their values. Forget them, they are nothing.

I like that.

HUGE congrats to your daughter. I'm curious to know what she does?!

If there are horrible comments on the TV company website, then the company needs to get them deleted.

You have brought your DD up very well and she sounds fabulous. One of my closest friends is very famous and gets constant criticism, harrassment, threats etc. I like you, find it hard to read things published and said about them but they always say “ it isn’t what they say that matters but how I handle it that is important subsequently It is like water off a ducks back for them.
easier said than done but try and not take anything personal. The person writing it is not worth your brain space. Best wishes.

You should share the post OP, the Mumsnet army can wage war on the trolls and flood it with positive vibes!

so sorry. Unfortunately this is typical of the misogyny directed at women. I had a friend who was giving an important speech on an important topic and her employer advised her to turn off her social platforms before she did so to avoid being attacked.
it is a huge problem. It undermines and silenced women. And in a world where having an online presence is essential for career development etc it has a very negative impact. I have never understood why behaviour that would be pursued as a public order offence irl is allowed to go unpunished online.

Sounds like you definitely have!
Huge love to you both.

Haters will always hate. They deserve no attention from us.

At one point in my career I was frequently in the papers and on radio/tv because I am an expert on something (nothing to do with covid before anyone starts!). I removed all my private social media and never read the comments on the online articles after the first unpleasant comment. I was lucky in that i worked for a big organisation that had a media team so i felt slightly more protected than if i had been on my own. It's horrible but best to not engage in anyway.

I thought of that but it would 'out' me