Thread 41 Corona Cohort - Autumn Adventures of our Adult Children

[CinnamonOrangeCremeBrulee]

This is a support thread for our young adults post GCSEs 2020, regardless of their educational setting, and their results ( or life updates for those who went into work or have had results earlier). It is respectfully requested that all are supportive and helpful to each other. If you want to start a debate, e.g state vs private, uni vs employment please don't within this thread.

Some of us have been here since first thread back in yr10, some will be new. Everyone has been friendly and helpful in the past. Everyone is welcome. It is hoped this will continue. We were previously on the secondary board and then further education, now we shall be here in 'Parents of Adult Children' gulp

Our DS/DD may continue down various pathways ( employment, apprenticeships, higher ed). Be warned there might be lots of 'Uni Freshers' chat this time of year. My experience is that everyone is welcomed wherever, whatever their child is doing we have some in work, gap years , apprenticeships etc too. Lots of contributors with different experiences and always sympathy and support to be had !

previous thread

I did tell her I was disappointed that she is not embracing, she probably hated that. I could have said much more.

Will it cost much for her to get home?

Unfortunately she has 10 free return trips until June on the train and then only has to pay 25% of walk up fare.

I never thought that she would be coming back so soon, and it seems like they are planning it frequently. Oh and she said ' by the way I'll probably miss you' 🙄it's all about the boyfriend.

I can't think straight this has annoyed me so much, I better stay away from all communication sources else I'd say something I regret.

I get where you are coming from. I'd be the same.

@CinnamonOrangeCremeBrulee DS was going to go to see his gf in Brum on Friday after arriving in Notts on Thursday afternoon. I had words and told him to leave it a week. Luckily he didn’t go in the end.

Help!! Need mattress topper advice! Best one! 3/4 bed - can I use a double ?

Room and welcome fab but bed super hard!

He’s going to Oxford but he seems so half hearted about it. Worried it’s not the right place for him.

I read on Wiwikau that this works ! You might need a deep fitted sheet incase hangs over the side.

Fruity I got a double topper from Dunelm and it fits the 3/4 bed well and DS likes it.

Thanks for the new thread 😊
Dropped DS at Swansea yesterday @boxcar you may have passed us in the very long queue to get into Bay campus. It was very well organised tho. The campus is so lovely especially as it was warm and sunny there yesterday having left London in the rain. He clearly wanted us to disappear and sort his stuff out so we left him to it after picking up his click and collect food shop. He was a bit worried about storing his bike in his room until the lad in the next flat turned up with his 2 surfboards🏄. I said DS should try the surfing club but he says he'll be too busy with mountain biking and athletics clubs and has a very full class timetable to fit in too!

@Benjispruce hope your DD settles over the weekend.
Welcome to the newbies and good luck to those moving in over the coming days.

@CinnamonOrangeCremeBrulee I’d be the same. Has she met anyone there to hang about with?

Thanks for the new thread, just checking in. Enjoying Uni Hall Curtain Watch - perhaps DD could make it a gap year project to design some less depressing styles. It's a while since she got her sewing machine out.

She's making noises about wanting to work towards getting to uni again, which is great after the post-results slump. We just need to get her into a place where she has the confidence and good mental health to really go for it. Doesn't help that the group therapy session for anxiety she signed up for was postponed for another 2 weeks yesterday. She's really trying so hard to push herself forward but everything is always cancelled or postponed multiple times so progress is glacial.

Thanks @singingstones ! None left in Dunelm so got one in Dreams next door reduced in the sale ! Yay

She has @Benjispruce4 it's the pull of the boyfriend. If she can't cope less than a week, then I can't see her coping once the course actually starts.

Basically she is effing up her life chances for a boy 🙄

@CinnamonOrangeCremeBrulee I think we all agreed that Freshers is a bit superficial and the friends they make now are not likely to be the lifetime friends, so although it is annoying, as long as he does not persuade her to leave university, I think you need to let her work out how she wants to fit things together. Hopefully once she discovers the joy of singing in some of the very good ensembles she will join, her weekends will get more commitments and she will be too busy to come back so often.

Yes you're right @Monkey2001 thank god for the choice of course. I'm just very sceptical, she's already said she is not auditioning for the Welsh BBC National Chorus as will take up too much time. I'm worried she is not going to take up the opportunities she needs to, to get where she wants to be. These were her dreams , performing and writing about music, teaching and coaching in vocal health and as far as I know still are. She is in such a bloody good place for it too. I'll stop ranting now ill let her get on with it.

@CinnamonOrangeCremeBrulee Thanks for new thread and joining you in a Grrrrr about the boyfriend visit. I must say that when DD grew apart from her (very lovely) boyfriend during Year 13, I breathed a very quiet sigh of relief….

@deuxgarcons we managed to avoid the traffic around bay campus because we were headed for Singleton. Went on to J45 & past the Liberty Stadium. We go to North Gower a lot (family caravan) so have learned to check Google Maps for the best route as we approach Port Talbot. Usually it’s the M4 that’s the problem though, not that bit.

The hard bit for us yesterday was squishing the poor dog in: if we were headed for Swansea it made sense to come to the Gower this weekend.

Thanks for the new thread @CinnamonOrangeCremeBrulee

DS is embracing taster sessions & went to an MMA one last night. He says he’s exhausted & needs to catch up on sleep before Monday as he has 3 lectures.

Thanks for the new thread @CinnamonOrangeCremeBrulee and yet another belting update @singingstones !

@CinnamonOrangeCremeBrulee Could you suggest that the boyfriend visits DD?
Not ideal in one sense but much better in another as she stays at Uni and has more time to settle rather than coming home to see him?
My DD and her lovely boyfriend are ‘swapping ends of the country’ as in he’s coming oop North and she’s going down south.
Theirs is a LDR and until the summer holidays was a meet up for weekends every 2-3 weeks. Recently, they’ve had a few holidays together which has upset the apple cart a tad given they’re both now about to start university. Their plans are that ‘the norm’ - for want of a better phrase - will resume and he will visit her a couple of times during first term.

I'm happy to report that DS is much more settled today. His corridor is now full and he went to Rock City last night and said he had a great time. He's never been to a club before so wasn't sure what to expect. Thanks for the offer of help @Oblomov22 Maybe your DS was with him 😄

DD went to Rock City last night too. Has today made it to brunch, been to the gym and is now I think watching the 1st team hockey match with her next door neighbour. So my worries that she had a crap introduction and wouldn't come out of her room were completely uncalled for, she came out the next day, smiled and spoke to people, went to the common room on her own, made friends. Her room mate next door knocked on her door (Nottingham have notices to leave outside your door if you're happy for someone to knock to say hello). This is the experience I wanted for her. I really hope everyone can get similar, although I realise it's very early days and she has only been there since Thursday so still time for a wobble.

@Benjispruce4 how is your DD today? did you have the talk? Having now caught up with everything I can't help thinking that it may just not be right place for her and there would be absolutely no shame in calling it a day, coming home, resitting if necessary and starting again next year at a uni more suited to her. I have seen so many NT parents saying their DD/DS haven't settled yet. It's got a reputation as a party uni and not everyone fits that criteria.

Sounds like lots of us would like to reboot on 1st Oct :-) is everyone ok to just carry on this thread though rather than start our own new one? I rather like the close knit community we have here but happy to be told otherwise,

I'm going to have a think about what I would like to achieve, but I need to be realistic, I'm lazy at the best of times and this menopausal crap isn't helping that. So I want to be gently prodded into touch rather than some professional do gooder shoving me into my new future ;-) Slowly, slowly for me, always making progress but not rushed. My short term ideas are losing weight (absolute must), stretching (I need to be much more mobile and flexible), more walking, drinking more water and less diet coke, cooking more adventurous food again, saving money, decluttering (so much needed).Need to do our accounts and tax returns in plenty of time before any deadline loom. Longer term I would like to play tennis again (socially initially), be able to jump down steps, be able to get up from sitting on the floor without it being a big effort (without having to hold on to something or get on my knees - god I have basically admitted I am acting like a 74 yr old rather than 54 yr old I am. I am sure there are more but I can't think. Would be interested in what others would like to achieve so I can pinch your ideas :-)

Joining in with music stuff at Birmingham seems to be like getting in to Fort Knox! DS is still trying.

He didn't get selected from football trials but will perhaps play in a less top notch team.

He just sent me a picture of a washing machine.

He got his parcel back! He woke up at 10 today which is the latest he has ever got up!!

DD seems totally mystified by having to pay to do laundry. Bless!

A reboot on this thread would be perfect for me. I need to shed 2 stone but have no will power or desire to stop eating lovely things. Hmmm!