Thread 41 Corona Cohort - Autumn Adventures of our Adult Children

[CinnamonOrangeCremeBrulee]

This is a support thread for our young adults post GCSEs 2020, regardless of their educational setting, and their results ( or life updates for those who went into work or have had results earlier). It is respectfully requested that all are supportive and helpful to each other. If you want to start a debate, e.g state vs private, uni vs employment please don't within this thread.

Some of us have been here since first thread back in yr10, some will be new. Everyone has been friendly and helpful in the past. Everyone is welcome. It is hoped this will continue. We were previously on the secondary board and then further education, now we shall be here in 'Parents of Adult Children' gulp

Our DS/DD may continue down various pathways ( employment, apprenticeships, higher ed). Be warned there might be lots of 'Uni Freshers' chat this time of year. My experience is that everyone is welcomed wherever, whatever their child is doing we have some in work, gap years , apprenticeships etc too. Lots of contributors with different experiences and always sympathy and support to be had !

previous thread

DD at Uni Hockey trials today. Trials for Medics Netball on Wed. Newcastle let them attend societies for 2 weeks until they have to pay subs, so she’s trying out Theatre Soc AND Musical Theatre Soc this week. I continue to push for the Llama, Alpaca and Goat Society (stroking therapy?), but no luck yet.

DD and her flatmates have all decided to live together next year … I’ve told her for heavens sake don’t commit to anything contractually until much much later! She’s away things may change but says they need to look already 🤷‍♀️

Curtain-watch: she has a blind, it is beige (turquoise curtains would be great actually as her colour scheme is turquoise). Blind is closed ‘because it’s black outside’. I wasn’t aware Preston was quite that far north … the blind has in fact been closed for four days. We have remote controlled blinds here, in part because she never opened her curtains, but she never opens them anyway.

Bloody hell @Heifer that is quite a long list 😀I’ve got as far as would like to lose weight, be more active and get rid of crap in the house -I am going to have to start gently I think .

Really glad that most of the messages here are positive from them all. Packing progress here pretty good I think.

@DontCallMeBaby I ventured into DS's room today to remind myself of the state he left it in. Curtains closed, window wide open as always. He'll never open his curtains at uni 🤣

Thanks @CinnamonOrangeCremeBrulee for the new thread.

I've posted my update on the wrong thread (Parents of rejects or sumat!) so I'm reposting it here, the names on that thread are very similar to this thread and I think at one point it was called Durham, Warwick etc so I posted on it bit. Apologies if you're reading it twice;

UPDATE* Dropped DS off at Warwick. The whole process was so smooth from start to finish. The biggest surprise of the day was that DS has been allocated a disability room..it is huge! (perhaps this is what everyone who gets disability is allocated?) I thought we were in the wrong room but nope, it's all his. DH thinks they must not have a wheelchair user for the room so they just put DS in.

Beautiful views from his bedroom window, launderette about 3 doors down from his room as is the kitchen. Radiators already on and the large kitchen warm and cosy with tons of cupboard and drawer space..did I mention he has a double bed???? or perhaps is a small double but still..Shock I had to bring the brand new mattress topper back home as it's a single. By the time we left, there were some lovely boys in the kitchen and a girl all chatting and welcomed DS as soon as he poked his head round with a whoop!. We knew it was time to go.

I hope everyone else's drop-offs went swimmingly well. Now it's just staring at the empty bed.

Good point about the curtains. DD doesn't have turquoise ones but they would actually match her colours!

Great to hear @Shimy ! Our drop off was also very smooth. Dd has the standard Notts room with turquoise curtains, but pleasingly (to me!) she has a turquoise body spray and turquoise electric wax melter (thanks to whoever suggested them!) on her chest of drawers in front of the curtains. One of her sixth form friends was coming over as we left, but she’s in a different hall so I just hope dd went to the Rutland dining hall (and maybe hooked up with @heifer daughter, who kindly messaged her!).

No news is good news, so hopefully we won’t hear from her now until tomorrow!

I cleaned Ds2's room yesterday. Put all his A level books/paperwork in a drawer, they were all round the room, put clothes in the wash, dusted, vacuumed etc. I was surprised to find he had a carpet on the floor. I've not seen it for a long time. The poor vac. had an asthma attack too as it hadn't been vacuumed for a long time.

I would quite to detox plus have a better social life, but giving up nice/naughty food isn't easy and I don't know many people for a better social life. But one thing I would really like to do is get a better job. A job I want to go to. Maybe that's asking to much, does anyone actually want to go to their job? Regretfully I'm not really qualified to do anything apart from teach horse riding, which I haven't done for 24 years. I didn't work for about 12 years when the dc's were younger. I am currently working in my local co op, which I don't really like. But starting next week they've moved me to a Sat. shift, 5pm to 10pm so that is the end of Sat eves in front of tv etc. I'm watching strictly thinking I won't see anymore of them for a while. I need to find something else. But no one wants me at my age without experience, everything I applied to before the co op I was told i needed experience, so it difficult to find something else. I can only hope. I just felt like a moan.

@crazycrofter yes they meet up - My DD said your DD is so nice :-) They chilled for a bit and went to the shops to buy drinks :-) Sounds like they will get on great.

@crazycrofter Alas! no turquoise curtains for us. He had white net curtains with thick beige curtains on top.

@icanbewhatiwant I hope he knows what an amazing mum he's got..you vacuumed and dusted etc...!thankfully DS had wooden flooring.

I hear you re: work. It's not easy, but i think you can find something you actually want to get out of bed for. Can you re-train?

Ah that’s great @heifer! Thanks to your dd for messaging her!

Great updates Shimy and Crazy. It’s lovely to hear that some of your DC are bottling it off in RL too.

Just home from Leicester. Super busy day but was a really lovely day with DS.
He was happy with his room, the mattress topper has a big line down the middle where it was folded in the packaging so hopefully they will settle out quickly as I think it will be quite uncomfortable.
the over-door airer I bought did not fit on the bathroom door, was hoping to put it hanging into the room (obviously not hanging into the bathroom) so now DS doesn’t have an airer at all. I’m hoping we can order one and get it delivered.
We do have trackers on the phones and although DS didn’t like it a few years ago, he doesn’t mind it now. I just checked it “just to see” and he is out at the village hub already so I’m happy with that. Thought he’d be moping in his room, FaceTiming his girlfriend like he has every other night this week!

Thanks for the new thread, cinnamon and the updates list, singing.

Lots of lovely, positive move in stories, and how fab about your DDs, heifer and crazy!
Im so sorry your DD’s experience of NTU continues to worsen, Benji. What an absolute nightmare she’s had; if it doesn’t put her off uni for life, she will smash it next time, having coped with the worst scenario anyone should have to put up with.

The week since DD left has been really difficult for me. She’s barely been in touch and doesn’t respond to messages instigated by us. DH managed to get her to answer the phone on Thursday and she sounded flat. She said she’s having a good time and getting on well with her flatmates, but he thinks she’s realised that this is her life now; she knows the partying will recede and she’ll have to find a new routine, which will involve being self-reliant…not something she’s comfortable with.

DS is home for the first time this weekend. Yesterday’s “school run” was hellish - a 6 hour round trip - and I already know I’m going to feel sad all over again when we take him back tomorrow evening.

DS dropped off but sat in his room (Notts) at a loose end. Feel sad for him. He was planning a club but apparently sold out.

@omnishambles that’s a shame, can he go to the hall bar or JCR? Don’t worry though, even if this evening is a disappointment, tomorrow is a new day. Has he met any hall/flat mates?

@Alsoplayspiccolo what a hard week for you 😢 It’s good that she’s made friends, but there will undoubtedly be times when she needs you over the next few weeks. Hope your return trip with ds is easier and quicker.

@Fiddlersgreen i love hearing about Leicester! Glad he’s out socialising.

Yeah I said he could go to mooch (I think it's called) or just stay in, he doesn't have to go out every night!

Just caught up on the thread.
@Benjispruce4 I’m sorry to hear about the troubles DD is having, it seems so unfair when she didn’t have a smooth start to begin with and has ended up somewhere unexpected

Meant to say I’m happy for this thread to be used as the reboot thread, I might even try to join you all. I do need to lose some weight but I’m going through some other health issues at the moment so it’s on the back burner a bit

@CinnamonOrangeCremeBrulee have your DDs plans stayed the same?

@mummyinbeds and @Heifer - my DS was at Rock City last night too. I think a lot of people were there but how funny if our kids are meeting IRL while we are meeting here online

@blinkbonny my dd has just texted to say she’s waiting to get into Rock City - with @heifer dd!

Ha 2 nights in the row for DD, she will sleep well tomorrow. I was impressed she made it to the gym today, wonder if she will tomorrow.
@omnishambles that was how DD spent Thursday night and look at her now. She used the next day as a restart, went to breakfast and smiled and spoke to people, then walked around campus and the same and then her neighbour arrived Friday which helped and today she meet crazy's DD. Get him to go to brunch in his halls tomorrow and he should be fine.

Evening all,

Lots of updates today, @omnishambles sorry your DS has had a disappointing evening, its hard to stop worrying about them.

@CinnamonOrangeCremeBrulee sorry to hear about DD returning so soon too, hopefully she will throw herself back in when she goes back.

@icanbewhatiwant I am planning to blitz DS's room in the morning, just cleaning and tidying I said I wouldn't get rid of anything. It's superficially tidy (looks ok when you open the door but then you realise there are bits and bobs scattered about) but dusty. We had to do an emergency blitz on it last term when he was away in boarding as a friend asked for a short notice sleepover when visiting a relative in hospital near us but relative got discharged so they went home after all, we don't have a spare room.

Reboot - I have tried everything under the sun to lose weight over the years, I am now on an intensive 9 week group course so sticking to that. I go to yoga classes and the gym but don't do enough exercise overall. As for the house, it is a mess despite me dabbling with the Flylady method for years. I could really do with a week off work to get on top of things and I have a week to use before Christmas but want to have some time off in DD's halfterm and DS's reading week.

Went to visit DS at the two week time point today. He met us in town for lunch then we bought him some stuff in Tesco and dropped him back to campus. It was lovely to see him. He was tired from all the late nights. Showed us some stunning pictures from his field trip last week.

DD is safely installed at Warwick. It was very well organised and went very smoothly. Her room is nicer than expected!

Not quite sure what to do with myself now - home seems very quiet, and badly in need of a good sort out and clean, so that might be something to start on tomorrow,

Hope everyone's DC are settling well.