Thread 41 Corona Cohort - Autumn Adventures of our Adult Children

[CinnamonOrangeCremeBrulee]

This is a support thread for our young adults post GCSEs 2020, regardless of their educational setting, and their results ( or life updates for those who went into work or have had results earlier). It is respectfully requested that all are supportive and helpful to each other. If you want to start a debate, e.g state vs private, uni vs employment please don't within this thread.

Some of us have been here since first thread back in yr10, some will be new. Everyone has been friendly and helpful in the past. Everyone is welcome. It is hoped this will continue. We were previously on the secondary board and then further education, now we shall be here in 'Parents of Adult Children' gulp

Our DS/DD may continue down various pathways ( employment, apprenticeships, higher ed). Be warned there might be lots of 'Uni Freshers' chat this time of year. My experience is that everyone is welcomed wherever, whatever their child is doing we have some in work, gap years , apprenticeships etc too. Lots of contributors with different experiences and always sympathy and support to be had !

previous thread

He didn’t make the footie team, he’s a bit sad about that.

DD has a week without lectures, but has an assessment in one day, and a couple of coursework deadlines at the end of it. She was going to come home but doesn't think she can now, so hopefully DH and I are going to go and stay for a few days, and just see her when she thinks it's ok (I suspect mealtimes, and for a supermarket shop!).

Re nightclubs -i don't think I ever paid to go into a nightclub during my uni days in the late 80s. I think the clubs in Plymouth (of which there were many) ran a sort of rota and there were always 2 or 3 every night of the week you could get into free with your SU card. Rarely bought a drink - pre's weren't a thing in those days, but we'd all pile into the SU bar and take advantage of the ridiculously cheap drinks before heading off to the clubs. I lived in South London, which even then was so much more expensive - rarely went clubbing at home, just made do with the pubs.

It's been a while since I've been on here, and as usual the thread is almost full again! You lot do love a chat

DS is 3 weeks in and doing well, he's made some nice mates, joined up to a society and seems to be living a nice life. A few issues with his flat, but he's moving halls in the next few days so that's ok!
Saw him last weekend but no idea when we'll see him next, he's got a reading week first week of Nov but don't think he's planning on coming home for the whole thing. Hopefully he'll fit us into his busy diary soon!

Aw, sorry to hear that, JustHereWithMyPopcorn, he must be deflated.

Sorry also to hear about the incommunicado kids and the non-reading weeks. We're off to the Birmingham open day next weekend, will wave vaguely in the possible direction of Piggy's DS while there.

DD's birthday today, 19. We had a NFA from the NHS about her ADD diagnosis (what a lot of acronyms) because in their words her presentation wasn't 'enduring and impacting on daily functioning' enough and they're too snowed under for anyone who isn't at breaking point. So happy birthday to her, eh?

PILs have earmarked some money to pursue private mental health assessments if needed, so it looks as if we might be breaking into that at some point.

She's also still worried about the high bilirubin from her blood test - still waiting to hear if it's cause for concern or not.

@Seeline if you are going up for a visit and she can spare a few hours away from her books a nice trip out is to drive 30/40 mins to Wroxham. It's a cute village on the Broads - touristy in summer. You can walk along the Broad for a bit/watch the boats, and there is the most amazing place that just does roast meat sandwiches (although I think meat may not be your DD's thing), lots of other food options of course.

Thanks for all your comments, if I'm honest I did think this would happen but probably a bit later on. DD has never got homesick or felt the need to chat for no reason, but she did spend a lot of time sat with me on the sofa watching tele late at night and naturally chatted then. I miss that. But I do understand that's a me issue, she is having fun, getting on with her new life. I know if she needs me she will call/ask for help. I don't suppose at her age I thought about my parents much (although I was living at home), it was much later in life that I felt closest to them, wanting to talk to my mum everyday because I could.

@deuxgarcons A fellow Swindonian! Have you been back there recently? It's changed so much. Old Town was my area of choice too (walkable from home) but did spend quite a few nights at The Brunel Rooms for a few years. I took DD to Swindon the other weekend just before she went to uni to see friends and my friends soon took her to a nightclub in Old Town so some things never change. She said it was a bit different to the clubs in Liverpool. We moved to the Wirral when DD was 3 and I was 38 so I stayed a lot longer than you!

@Monkey2001 comment to @Comefromaway re being a Roadie make me smirk. Got to love them for assuming you don't have anything to do :-)

@BlueMarigold does she not get free WIFI in her halls/flat? Bonus of us all having Sky contracts is that DH & I always have spare Data which goes into a piggybank I can then pass onto DD as she eats it.

@JustHereWithMyPopcorn sorry to hear re footie team, is there any other footie he can play? DD didn't make the Uni hockey team and has just tried her Subject one but it really isn't the same. I'm hoping she will try the local hockey club soon as that will give her more training and competition she wants.

Anyone doing anything fun/interesting this weekend?

Happy 19th to your DD Zitti!

@GoldenRuby thanks for the tip. We have holidayed in Norfolk a couple of times, but never bothered stopping at Wroxham at it was absolutely heaving, so knowing it's quieter off peak is useful. Meat is definitely not an issue for DD - unfortunately the bread is. We can always take a GF roll with us though 😉

@Seeline ah, I remembered there was something your DD didn't eat! It is nicer there off peak I think. My DS has moved back home after graduating this summer, but made weekly trips to the roast sandwich shop with his whole house in his final weeks!

Thanks, ealingwestmum - is dd the first to celebrate her 19th on here? She was always the oldest in her class at school (strange lack of September birthdays in her year group for some reason).

Happy birthday @ZittiEBuoni . I think DS would get a similar response if we got an ADHD assessment, they would probably just say he is poor at time management and a bit ditsy. I can't work out how much it would help to have a label - I am thinking if he is late every day for lectures because he does not get the concept of allowing margins in your planning, would that help him or just give him a prop which stops him from learning when the consequences are less bad than they will be later? Good luck, whatever you decide to do.

Happy birthday to your DD @ZittiEBuoni , sorry the day didn't start that well but hopefully it will get better.

@Heifer I remember that I spoke to my mum a lot more once I'd settled in to my course rather than at the beginning, everything was too new and shiny. Hopefully that will be the case with your DD.

I have suggested to DS to try maybe a friendly local five a side league with a few mates, less pressure more social.

Happy birthday to @ZittiEBuoni dd!

i hope all the disappointed sports people find a team to join - we don’t seem to have had much luck in this group - the standards must be really high?

Dd has gotten back into going to the gym now, which is good as she dropped off over summer with everything else she was doing. Working out seems to be really good for her mentally. I really wish I’d got into it as a teen; I find it so hard to take that step now 😬

@Monkey2001 ds’ diagnosis has helped him understand himself, and maybe given him a few concessions at school around fidgeting and impulsivity. He’s still got to meet the same expectations as others though around lateness, appropriate behaviour etc and that’s where he really struggles (I’ve already had two separate phone conversations and a visit to see the head of sixth form already - four weeks in at a new school 😩).

@JustHereWithMyPopcorn does your DS know about the Jumpers for Goalposts society. Turn up and play football club with a social element too. DS is looking at this since he's missed all the trials.

Happy birthday @ZittiEBuoni 19 already (I met my husband just after my 19th birthday 😱)
DS was the second oldest in his year through lower school and his birthday isn't until January. There definitely wasn't anything in the water round here in early 2003 🤣

Mine had hers a couple of weeks ago Zitti. I think she’s benefitted from many pluses being at the older end of her age group.

Happy birthday to your DD @ZittiEBuoni . DS had his birthday before he went. DD has a diagnosis of ADD. She went privately and now is on the NHS I think. The label helps her as gives a reason and feels less like a personal failing as I think she felt it was before plus she has extra time which she does need.

i would like a FaceTime with DS this weekend to see how he looks and hear more about things as he has only messaged so far.

Ooh, no I don't think he does, I shall let him know, thank you.

@GoldenRuby I've just realised you were also on the UEA thread with our older dc's. I can never remember who is on which thread. Actually...I can never remember who is where in my life in general either 🙈

@icanbewhatiwant that's right. That 3 years went fast. DS is now doing school based initial teacher training.

Yes...3 years have flown by. I read on Facebook of people upset their dc's have moved to uni. But it isn't long and they are home again. That's good your Ds is working and knows what he wants to do. Mine hasn't a clue. He's doing temporary office work, then NZ in Jan for a year. I hope when he returns home he might have decided on a career path.

Happy birthday to your DD @ZittiEBuoni hope you have a nice open day, Brum is lovely and DS would've been very happy to go there.

To those who didn't get into the football team, once uni (can't remember which one) has a 'rubbish footballers team', not that your DS's are rubbish 😝BUT the point is, they can have a team for all sorts of abilities. The rubbish footballers team, met regularly, they had matches, outings, parties, club officials etc . They were actually very popular and pulled quite a crowd each time they played. Best part was it was so much fun!

Happy birthday @ZittiEBuoni junior (& belated happy birthday @Volterra jnr and @Heifer jnr if we missed those: two weeks ago feels like an age at the mo!)

Bad luck on the sports teams @Heifer @JustHereWithMyPopcorn . Ds is NOT sporty, but the advantage of York is that the college's all have sports teams so you don't have to be great to get into a team - aparently his college have 9 football teams, including one for people who've never played. He's hoping to get on the volleyball team or at least get to join in with that.

Sorry for those of you frustrated by lack of contact. After being very quiet when he first went, we are getting calls from ds every couple of days or so - they are mostly short and involve us having to help him with something, but I can't deny it isn't lovely to see his face :-) In fact, I'm trying to stop dh encouraging him to call - dh is desperate to help him and keeps offering, and I'm maybe keener to see him sort out issues on his own: I definitely feel I don't belong on WIWIKAU at the mo ;-)

Happy Birthday to DD @ZittiEBuoni

Sorry to @Heifer and anyone else with a lack of contact, hopefully things will improve.

Still trying to help DS with his DSA support here <sighs>. He has two mentors, one for study skills and one for general organisation etc. He had to arrange the times himself once he had his timetable. I assumed he would find a weekly slot for each and then make it a regular booking but it seems you just rebook again every week and through some sort of misunderstanding managed to book both in the same slot this week so one lot of time was wasted. This is why he needs this sort of support 🤦‍♀️.

Oh and our local authority have been in contact about his EHCP. I want to keep it going for a bit longer just in case but clearly they don’t. <sighs again>.