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Thread 40 - Corona Cohort , Falling into Autumn 🍂
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CinnamonOrangeCremeBrulee · 14/09/2022 07:43

This is a support thread for our young adults post GCSEs 2020, regardless of their educational setting, and their results ( or life updates for those who went into work or have had results earlier). It is respectfully requested that all are supportive and helpful to each other. If you want to start a debate, e.g state vs private, uni vs employment please don't within this thread.

Some of us have been here since first thread back in yr10, some will be new. Everyone has been friendly and helpful in the past. Everyone is welcome. It is hoped this will continue. We were previously on the secondary board and then further education, now we shall be here in 'Parents of Adult Children' gulp

Our DS/DD may continue down various pathways ( employment, apprenticeships, higher ed). Be warned there might be lots of 'Uni Freshers' chat this time of year. My experience is that everyone is welcomed wherever, whatever their child is doing we have some in work, gap years , apprenticeships etc too. Lots of contributors with different experiences and always sympathy and support to be had !

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CinnamonOrangeCremeBrulee · 14/09/2022 07:44

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EspeciallyDivided · 14/09/2022 07:53

Thank you @CinnamonOrangeCremeBrulee Flowers

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Oblomov22 · 14/09/2022 08:05

Thank you Cinnamon.

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craggyrat · 14/09/2022 08:10

Thanks for the new thread. I can’t imagine the look on DS’ face if I did those “open when” WIWIKAU envelopes….

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Heifer · 14/09/2022 08:17

Thanks @CinnamonOrangeCremeBrulee

Dreaded email arrived yesterday for DD (expected) saying Driving Test on Monday 19th is cancelled and they will be in touch with a new date. Have tried to rebook ourselves but next available date is Jan so instructor said wait and see what new date she is given and then change it to Christmas period if possible. Really hoping we can get a date when DD is home (4 weeks over Christmas).

@nctdn know what you mean about the envelopes often talked about on WIWIKAU, personally I think DD would hate it and think it soppy. I will just send her things in the post I come across that I think she might like every so often.

So today is the day I've told DD she HAS to sit down with me this afternoon and finish off the admin..... I can guarantee it will end in a strop/shouting (both of us)..

Was anyone dropped off yesterday? Due today? good luck if so. Hope all goes well.

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ZittiEBuoni · 14/09/2022 08:29

Thanks for the new thread CinnamonOrangeCremeBrulee.

I've woken up to a heartfelt Whatsapp plea from dd2's boyfriend's mum - apparently boyfriend has asked dd2 to come up to uni drop-off with him on Sunday. Mum, totally understandably, wants him to herself. This is a mum rite of passage! Luckily I'm pretty sure dd2 is working and won't want to swap shifts anyway. Nobody wants that emotional drive back with an unrelated teen in the car with them, I'm sure...

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Oblomov22 · 14/09/2022 08:31

I saw that NCT and like you immediately thought can't be a MN'er.
My ds would think the envelopes were ott and soppy.

He is driving down to Chichester to stay with my mum for 2 days. Ahhhh. Makes my heart flutter.

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Oblomov22 · 14/09/2022 08:35

icanbe, I shouted at ds2 last night. He is being too relaxed about Year 9. No timetable, no homework. No ingredients for food tech. I lost my shit. I shouted and shouted, and then he was really rude again, and I carried on shouting and Dh came in and told me to stop and I still carried on shouting. and in the end I went to bed.

Sad

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icanbewhatiwant · 14/09/2022 08:45

@Oblomov22 oh dear....my year 9 is very much like my oldest. He gets very angry easily. I feel like I'm walking on egg shells some days. Anything I tell him off for or criticise he thinks I hate him. It doesn't take much for him to storm off to his room and slam his door. He is great at school though. Never puts a foot wrong. That's why I've struggled to get any help with him. He's mr perfect at school. They are at a sensitive age though.

I just read about arrival at university tomorrow. It says where to park. Where ti collect keys. Then apparently we get to accommodation by shuttle bus. For ds1 we could park outside the accommodation. We've got too much to take by bus. I put all spare toiletries, food etc in cardboard fruit boxes to keep under the bed. I can't really carry them on a bus. So I hope we can get closer.

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Seeline · 14/09/2022 09:00

Thanks for the new thread.

Neither of mine would appreciate the 'open when...' parcels. DS was happy with regular WhatsApp messages - just sending random news items etc that I knew would Interest him. DD I think will probably need more, but I feel guilty sending her chocolate bars etc when I didn't for DS. As it is she has already said she will probably want us to visit around half-term, which is fine by me. But again, we didn't visit DS at all - mainly due to covid, but we could have just gone and met in a park or something. He never asked us to, but I didn't offer! Mum guilt never stops does it?

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mummyinbeds · 14/09/2022 09:19

Thanks for the new thread @CinnamonOrangeCremeBrulee

Mine would open all the 'open when...' envelopes in one go, straight after drop off. I'm glad it's not just me thinking WIWIKAU is a bit barmy.

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Hattifatteners · 14/09/2022 09:25

Thank you for a new thread @CinnamonOrangeCremeBrulee
DD is moving on Sunday. We got a bit emotional last night watching Bake off and thinking that we won't be able to watch it together 🙁

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crazycrofter · 14/09/2022 09:56

Thanks for the new thread! Dd would probably love those envelopes - her friendship group did something similar for one of their friend’s 18th. But I’m not soppy at all and wouldn’t have a clue!

Ds is doing my head in. New sixth form, he’s only been on time once so far, yesterday he got sent home as he went in PE kit and was supposed to go in his suit and change into it at school just for PE. He forgot his lanyard two days in a row, picked it up yesterday when sent home and has now lost it again! He doesn’t have a log in to the homework app but ‘doesn’t think they use it anyway’ (pretty sure they do…). But he won’t let me help as he wants to be ‘independent’ 😩

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Alsoplayspiccolo · 14/09/2022 10:15

I’ve made DD a homesickness/emergency rations box, but it hasn’t got anything soppy in it - one package has a new pair of knickers and socks, for when she’s forgotten to do her laundry, another has a mindfulness puzzle book in for when she’s bored/anxious, another one has a face mask, eye mask and hair treatment in it etc.
I will admit, it’s taken all my willpower not to say f* it and keep it all for myself - I need a few treats after the past few weeks of dealing with her!

Today’s arguement:

DD - Mum, can I have the last pain au chocolate?
Me - I’d like it, actually.
DD - Why? I haven’t had any of them!
Me - You have, you’ve had 3 out of the 6.
DD - smirk and eye roll. Christ, mum, it’s not that deep! It’s only a bloody pastry! Jeez, you have it then, I really don’t care! flounces off, swearing under her breath.

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Alsoplayspiccolo · 14/09/2022 10:17

Ah, crazy, I feel your pain!
That is DD all over, and I’ve come to realise that, “I want to be independent” actually means, leave me to it so that I can totally not do it, without you getting in my back about it. 🤦‍♀️

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crazycrofter · 14/09/2022 10:31

@Alsoplayspiccolo ’it’s not that deep’ is ds’ favourite phrase! 😩 Used in all sorts of situations…. This morning ‘it’s only form period, they don’t care if you miss it, it’s not that deep.’ I’m pretty sure they will care..

You're right, independence just means freedom from nagging and responsibility!

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Isthisjustnormal · 14/09/2022 12:19

So relieved by the lack of little envelopes in this group - cute but agree that the ‘send little things regularly/occasionally ’ is a more manageable route for both students to be and parents!!

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GoldenRuby · 14/09/2022 13:01

No 'open when' parcels here either - I think this would make any homesickness much worse. DD's birthday is during her second week though, so will drop her off with a hamper to open on the day. It's got in in some bottles/tins of ready made cocktails, pamper face masks, chocolate etc. will send something up by post as well so she gets something (hopefully) on the day. She is a bit worried the day will go unmarked, but I've told her to not be shy about asking new friends to go for a drink. I might have to try to find a birthday badge for her to wear to help break the ice if needed!

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Monkey2001 · 14/09/2022 13:23

If I did "open when..." envelopes DSs would nod and smile and I would find them all unopened when I picked them up at the end of the year!

@Heifer the driving test cancellation is so unlucky! Hope you manage to get a suitable date.

DS2's GF has asked him to go with her for drop off at Nottingham on 24th, I think her parents are fine with it, they know him quite well as they have been together nearly 2 years, her dad has been spending lots of time teaching him bike maintenance and her mum was his Maths teacher, but I assume she will be packing light! DS1's GF came for every start of year drop off, but she stayed on there for a few days in Y2 and Y3. If she had not been there to "help" make his room nice I think he would have lived out of his suitcase for the first 6 weeks! But every family is different.

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ealingwestmum · 14/09/2022 13:28

Thanks for new thread Orange.

No little envelopes here either, DD and I were laughing yesterday on what a shit mum I am compared to others (on FB) for not doing it. I couldn’t even manage the baby stuff properly!

Similar challenge here GoldenRuby; DD’s b’day is on first day’s academic timetable. A badge may be the way to go without her looking totally weird amongst strangers. And I need to find a cup cake/cake person tomorrow who hasn’t got a month’s lead time when we’re in Dublin tomorrow for the 27th. Can’t have a birthday without cake at least!

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Shimy · 14/09/2022 13:42

Thanks @CinnamonOrangeCremeBrulee .

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crazycrofter · 14/09/2022 13:56

@ealingwestmum I'm an equally rubbish mum! I used to feel really guilty when the kids were little and all my friends had made beautiful scrapbooks about their baby and toddler years. I just have several cardboard boxes filled with old photos/cards they've made me/pictures they've drawn etc. I like to think that the lack of structure will make my boxes more fun for them to look through and explore when they're adults!

@heifer we cancelled dd's driving test next week (definitely not ready!) and couldn't get another one before 23rd Feb. But I'm thinking lots of practice over Christmas and then she'll just have to come home for the test.

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DontCallMeBaby · 14/09/2022 14:28

@icanbewhatiwant oh no, that’s mad about the shuttle bus!! How can that even work?

We had free parking to collect keys, then half an hour to park and unpack at the actual accommodation, then we had to go back to the free parking. I thought we’d end up with one of us driving the car away from a pile of stuff just dumped in the accommodation car park … but no, we had the contents of a stuffed estate car plus roof box up four flights of stairs inside 30 minutes. I was a bit concerned about my assertion than DH and I could easily handle driving there and back in a days the unpacking was so exhausting …

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Cantonet · 14/09/2022 14:39

@Oblomov22 😂 ( sorry!)
You sound like me ...
I was awake at 3am worrying that Ds didn't have a uni timetable yet & sorted out his options . Only to find out it hasn't been given out yet & they have no optional modules in the first year

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icanbewhatiwant · 14/09/2022 14:40

@DontCallMeBaby I'm not looking forward to it if that is what we have to do. For ds1 at UEA we parked in the main car park to collect keys etc. then had a space outside the block for 20 mins to unload. Then we had to park back at the main car park. It was well organised with lots of help.

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