Thread 39 - Covid Cohort - Our Adult Children Now Post 18

[CinnamonOrangeCremeBrulee]

This is a support thread for our young adults post GCSEs 2020, regardless of their educational setting, and their results ( or life updates for those who went into work or have had results earlier). It is respectfully requested that all are supportive and helpful to each other. If you want to start a debate, e.g state vs private, uni vs employment please don't within this thread.

Some of us have been here since first thread back in yr10, some will be new. Everyone has been friendly and helpful in the past. Everyone is welcome. It is hoped this will continue. We were previously on the secondary board and then further education, now we shall be here in 'Parents of Adult Children' gulp

Our DS/DD may continue down various pathways ( employment, apprenticeships, higher ed). Be warned there might be lots of 'Uni Freshers' chat this time of year. My experience is that everyone is welcomed wherever, whatever their child is doing we have some in work, gap years , apprenticeships etc too. Lots of contributors with different experiences and always sympathy and support to be had !

@Alsoplayspiccolo so sorry you are having this awfulness. This is my 5 th time doing this. And we definitely had that hostility . Singing stones suggestions are good, but I think it can also be good to show how hurt you are, do step back, but if , despite that you get more of this, cry.
what I will say is that everyone of the previous 4 rang me in the first term and apologised for their awfulness, and thanked me for everything I’d done.
This one did the awful bit during exams and is actually quite sweet now, but there’s still time for that to change.
Did anyone else see the lovely Stephen Collins cartoon in last Saturdays Guardian?

Thanks @278Newnames, attempt number 3 today on the exchange front - 3rd time lucky maybe?

Yes DS has his accommodation, he’s not on campus but new that would happen and seems fine about it. He’s been having a look at the societies list which is encouraging amd was thinking about getting the freshers armband but isn’t into clubbing so I think has decided not to. My friend’s DS is apparently kitted out with his toga and glow stick !

@Alsoplayspiccolo how is DS getting on? I really hope DD improves, it is horrible when they are like that. My mere presence seemed to be totally annoy DS not that long ago so DH used to go into see him. He’s so much better now thankfully. DD was difficult before she went and had a blip about her 21st when she was really nasty to me and is now very embarrassed about and has apologised a fair few times, hang in there 💐

@Shimy i love your disclaimer and think I need the same one!
DD very stroppy here too. I think nerves have well and truly kicked in.

@EquallyDivided @EspeciallyDivided are you the same person?

@Volterra glad you have accommodation sorted for your DS. We know people who got city accommodation last year and were initially disappointed. It turns out they really liked it as it was a meeting place for people going out in town so was really sociable.
My DS bought the wristband, he’s also not into clubbing but does like a pint or five.

@278Newnames glad to hear it worked out for them. I think he knew once he missed the deadline that it would be city but he was in similar environment at college and the flats don’t have that many in so a plus for him. He hasn’t taken much to alcohol so far, let’s see what university brings on that front !

Haven’t been around much as the start of term has been very busy as usual.

Ds is also not really engaging with the preparations. I don’t know if it’s his normal teenage attitude, being secretly anxious about going away or disappointment that he’s not going to his firm.

In any case I think moving away from home will be a good thing for him.

I am not looking forward to the journey though. Dh is not driving currently for medical reasons, I’ve hurt my foot and I’m worried the traffic coming home on Sunday will be terrible if lots of people are heading to London for the queen’s funeral.

Sympathies to all struggling to get DCs to engage with the preparations. DS was pretty good with it all (but found it hard work and it was a rush with his early start date), but I know I am going to have a completely different experience with DD in two years, she is very independent, won’t take any help unless she is absolutely stuck, will want to do it all her way and will be eligible for DSA so we’ll have all that to do again. Whereas DS is very happy for me to have access to the email he has used for it all, there is not a hope in hell that DD will. Hopefully this thread will still be going……

@Shimy , yes, I sent anti-fungal cream, paracetamol, plasters, covid tests, hand gel and a tiny (probably not much use) first aid kit. Also he has registered with the GP in his uni town. I am hoping he will be eligible for another covid jab as he still hasn’thad it and his booster was last Dec, having been one of the earlier ones in the first rounds of jabs due to his learning difficulties. I made sure he emphasized this on the GP registration page.

@Alsoplayspiccolo - so sorry to hear about the way you’re being treated and I hope things improve before your DD goes.

@EspeciallyDivided - lovely to read your update. Glad he seems to be settling.

@Volterra - fingers crossed for exchange!

DS had a questionnaire to fill in for his college parents last night so they can match them up. He had to say what sort of drink he liked best and why. He said “I couldn’t put water as that would be boring so I went with Lucozade”. I am more than a little worried as to how he will cope with Freshers Week…

Strong empathy to all of you with teens who are being maddening atm.

DD is insisting that the very best thing for her mental and physical health is to lose a stone in weight and stay in bed for indefinite periods of time. As she had an ED in year 10 I'm not happy about the weight loss thing (plus she is in no way overweight, her BMI must be about 20). But if I state any kind of concern about this I'm a fascist dictator who wants to ruin her mental health apparently.

She has agreed to call the GP for blood tests to see about her constant tiredness and frequent lightheadedness. I'm worried about pre-diabetes tbh as her diet has often been awful.

Thanks @craggyrat
@ZittiEBuoni could her thyroid be an issue maybe ? I know that she isn’t overweight but if she has put on some, plus very tired and light headed could be related. Good she has agreed to blood tests.

Yes, thyroid is another possibility, Volterra. She's promised to make the appointment today, hopefully this will happen without further argy-bargy.

@Shimy my small first aid kit is the size of a large biscuit tin, and is definitely more of a medicine cabinet! You have made me realise though that I have still failed to supply cough mix! I did similar for DS 2 years ago and it was very useful when he caught covid and his whole flat had to isolate so no one could go and get extra paracetamol etc.

I think we've almost finished preparations here. Final shopping trip tomorrow. She's completed online registration. Registered with the campus medical centre. Has had emails about changes to induction due to the bank holiday. Don't know if the Freshers/SU events are happening or not. She has been WhatsApping 10 of her flatmates (last one still AWOL). Has only found one other course mate though. She knew it would be small - I think only 10 last year - but they were intending to increase numbers for this year.

Btw someone ages ago posed nice things to do / places to stay in Bath.
We already know we want to book the New Royal Bath - Thermae, for the rooftop pool, so that's ok. But we don't know where to stay, which b&b, or nice but reasonable hotel?

For anyone that needs any last bits of housewares for their DCs Sainsburys have a sale on it all this week.

I've just bought "Oh the places you'll go" by Dr Seuss for DD. Love it. DD isn't sentimental at all so have to be careful not to buy anything gushy, but I think this fits the bill nicely - it;s bigger than I realised (A4) but I think DD will like it, and keep it.
Dr Seuss

Oblomov -

www.guesthousehotels.co.uk/no-15-bath/

DS seems to have settled in well at his new school, thanks, Volterra.
From the sounds of it, he’s already made a positive impression (musically) and has been offered a couple of fab solo opportunities.
We can’t drag much info about the rest of his life out of him and he only responds to messages from us when he feels like it…frustrating, but I guess we’d soon know about it if he wasn’t happy, so…

Everything crossed for exchange today. Moving is so bloody stressful at the best of times, and you definitely haven’t had the best of times!!

crazy, DD is exactly the same about shouting that she doesn’t need any help, wants to do it in her own…and then not doing it. It’s a form of Hope over experience, isn’t it!! I’m sure the intention is there, but the wherewithal is more of a problem.

Thanks for your words of wisdom, singing. I did actually hit the wall late last night, after yet another attack from DD and told her exactly how impossible I’m finding her behaviour, whilst in floods of tears. At least she stopped growling at me while I sobbed, even if she showed no acknowledgment of the hurt she’s causing.

@NCTDN You're most welcome .

Sorry to hear about all these stroppy teens. DS here is equally infuriating. He just about knows EVERYTHING now! everything he is told to do is met with a, why? who told you that? that's not how it works! he nearly didn't book a slot for drop as he didn't get the email asking them to which was because he didn't complete his induction form correctly. Any mention of, 'information got from MN', is met with a big eye roll, though it always turns out to be accurate to his annoyance.

Someone mentioned up thread to just distance yourself for a while and they soon come round. It's actually a very good tactic I use regularly and it always works.

@Seeline Definitely get the cough mixture! the season for coughs is right round the corner, I put in a box of strepsils (Ds1 in particular always seems to have a sore throat in winter) and Imodium (for those crazy days when they've over indulged on crappy food) just in case. What I did forget was, sanitiser.

Nearly completed shopping here as well. Just started the packing it all in to boxes/bags.

Those first aid kits I notice, are containing less and less useful things and more bandages (to plum them up). Didn't they used to contain antiseptic cream & scissors? even the plasters are a bit rubbish, I remember having to buy stronger plasters at the pharmacy to put in the box.

DS hasn't registered with a new GP yet as he is mid-treatment although, almost at the end of it. I'm a bit worried about the change over to another GP to be honest because he's been under CAHMS here for yrs and all his records are here and his repeat meds. I also know the local hospital and understand the pathways and practice protocol etc. I guess what I'm saying is, I feel a certain sense of loss of control in that area. I know ds will forget to call for his repeat meds and gets medical facts muddled up very easily. However, he has been taking charge of his own health for about a yr now and used to talking to the GP on the phone & booking appts, but I've always been in the background for help to understand complex info or give him a nudge to ask the right questions.

I have now just asked him if he wants to register with the Uni GP again (previously we had both agreed to remain at home) and he said yes, so he's gone to look online to find out about that and register ahead if he can. I hope we're doing the right thing.

DS has missed the deadline for his student id card. So now he will have to sort it out when he gets there. Of course I've been hassling him to do it for weeks🤦🏼‍♀️. The good thing he's he's set up a student bank account with Nationwide, downloaded the DSA software & ordered some trainers. Now only the printer to set up & DSA training to be booked & learning support needs to be booked with the Uni. My overnight accommodation I booked in Guildford has been cancelled, so I will have to find somewhere else.
Do all of us have an internal uni Checklist 😂

@Shimy how far from home will he be and how easily can he get back? We discussed it with the receptionist at our practice and she said some do stay registered with them, they can do e-consults and can send prescriptions through to any pharmacy in England.

Shimy I've Just had a conversation with him about first-aid pack.

That boy is irritatingly au-naturel about any medicine and never wants to take anything. so he said no to cough mixture, strepsills,paracetamol and Anadin.

We agreed on:
Salt for gargling
Lemsip
Ultra Chloraseptic green spray for sore throats.
Nasal spray
Beconase hay fever spray.
New skin.
Compeed plasters.

For those of you having never experienced 'new skin', I teased DS1 but that would really bond new friendships!! I love it. I love the pain of it. It stings like a bugger, so they'd initially hate him. It's so effective, 2 days later they'd love him.