That man showed me his willy....

[handlemecarefully]

My 2.11 yr old dd just casually announced this on our journey home from Nursery. The man she was referring to works there and has been there for 4-5 weeks.

What next? Not sure whether I should say something to the Nursery Manager because this could be complete fabrication on my dd's part (she does say misleading and inaccurate things sometimes)...and if I say something and he is completely blameless?

At the time I said to her "Did he? If he did that's very naughty. If he does it again you must tell him 'no', and go and tell one of the ladies straight away" (she refers to the predominantly female staff at the Nursery as 'ladies')

DD has been showing no sings of 'sexualised behaviour'. She is interested in 'willies' of both genders - but no more so than any other child her age. She did mention the other day that one of the other little girls had shown dd her bottom....

Should I say anything to the Nursery Manager. If yes - that what and how?

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Sofia, your DS saying he's not good at something could just as easily have come from outside home - one of the big reliefs as your children get older is knowing that everything isn't down to you any more! (It could even have come from him comparing himself with another child.)

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excessive self esteem can aslo lead to provblems alter

liek when kids who cant even read at 16 think they can be lawyers

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I'm not really that worried about it, and yes it could well be something coming from school. However, I do question why my 4 year old would be saying that he's not very good at something that he is in fact good at or a least it's too early to say whether he's good at it or not. I mean, if he said he's not very good at singing, I would wholly agree...he inherited that lack of a talent from me unfortunately.
I think that you can be very encouraging of your children without spoiling them and having them believe that the world revolves around them. My parents brought me up to believe that I can do anything. I think that they gave me a really useful tool by doing so. As a result I have the confidence to approach all sorts of unknown situations and deal with them becausee I know that I can do anything. I think that's a very different thing than being taught that you can have anything. But sorry, I've hijacked this thread a bit...

SofiaA,

Hijack away - no problems. With your ds I think you can only gently encourage him with responses like "I'm sure you can do that if you give it a try". I expect that you are doing that anyway.

Happymumof2,

No, I've never broached it with dd's grandpa (my father as it happens). It would not be well received...(understatement)

Just will always make sure that she is never alone with him - on a 'just in case' basis. He's a pretty ropey father and grandfather in any case, so this low level underlying suspiscion hasn't marred a good daughter and granddaughter relationship...And in any case I do have doubts about whether it happened and I'm more inclined to think that it didn't than it did.

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"we just need to be very, very wary of everyone we entrust our children too"

Here here.

It's a terrible situation to find yourself in HMC. All you can do is follow your instincts - if you?re tactful and sensitive nobody should have a problem with that. Have they spoken to the guy at the nursery yet? I was wondering why they would even need to be specific about which child had said something - I think this was a concern in an earlier post. Surely she'd be able to keep her anonymity?

The prejudice thing is interesting though. Caligula, did you mean Richard Dawkins or Andrea Dworkins late hubby - there's a bit of a difference there!

Political correctness has been given too much of a bad name IMO, but it's precisely such a tricky situation like this that gets everyone flustered. I don't think it's wrong at all to question why a man would take on such a job. That's our job, isn't it? It would be wrong to blindly discriminate based on such prejudices without evidence. But the inquiry itself is a valid one.

Just realised what I've done there. Like Andrea Dworkin's husband would take her name! Come to thinkof it, it is a possiblity..

My typo's are bringing down the tone HMC. Please forgive me, I'm all fingers and thumbs today!

Happymumof2,
"did you ever feel your dad might be 'that way' when you were growing up? "
I don't remember any specifics but possibly, but then I have a deep seated loatheing of my dad and could imagine him capable of anything.

Horried by your ex boyfriend story - shudder, thank goodness that he was out of your life so quickly.

Monkeytrousers,
I hadn't thought about insisting on dd's anonymity, and in that way leaving it open for the Nursery Manager to question the Male Nursery Assistant - hmmm, that could work

HMC - just to let you know I have posted the copy of the book to you so hopefully it will be with you tomorrow.

Thanks QE, I shall look out for it [gratitude emoticon]

God did I write Dworkins? She must have been on my mind! I meant Richard Dawkins.

Has the nursery said they'll give you an update, HMC?

She only attends Monday to Wednesday Caligula, so I'll catch up with the Nursery Manager next week now.

HMC - has the book got to you yet?

Yes it has thank you very much. I was just about to start a thread naming you in the title to thank you - bet you're relieved that you've managed to head that one off!

Had a look at it and in fact dd will understand most of the scenarios - she has quite good comprehension for a nearly 3 year old, so I should be able to make good use of it.

Thank you very much indeed for sending it

Oh darn it - missed out on having a thread just for me!

Seriously, You are more than welcome; I'm glad you think it will be some use.