Should parents be allowed to SMACK their child?........ Debate on ITV ........ THIS MORNING

[RTKangaMummy]

Smacking

When John Saunders' son began playing up during a shopping trip, he told the boy to behave himself. But the little boy who had rammed a trolley into his older sister, took no notice so his father gave him a slap on the legs. But only four days later John answered a knock at his front door and was confronted by two police officers. John, discovered he was under investigation for assault after a fellow shopper reported him. John joins us today, along with Denise Robertson and Carolyne Willow from the Children's Rights Alliance who believes that there should be a total ban on smacking.

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Have I missed it? can't see it

Oh boy that's going to be another explosive thread

I'll own up right here and now... I very occassionally smack dd, i.e. a slight slap on the bum or on the fingers depending. Though that's total last resort, e.g. like the other day when she ran off after nursery and thankfully another mum caught up with her and brought her back (I was hampered by pushchair with ds in it). At that point she first got a severe telling off on eye height, to which she went mental so she got 3 warnings to calm down to which she kicked me... sorry... I lost it and she got a little slap on her bum and 'no TV'.

I know there are people of the school out there who believe smacking a child is no different to smacking an adult... sorry I have to disagree... reasoning with a 3 year old does not always work due to 'lack of understanding'. reasoning with a grown up might also not always work, but that's usually a 'character flaw'. And a little smack (that does not even leave a mark) surly can not be classed as assault, otherwise all these sportsmen who slap each other after a sports event would need to be prosecuted

((((slinks away and hides)))

Smacking should be banned IMO.

There is no place for violence in any relationship - and that includes the precious relationship between parents and children.

We are there to protect them and lead them to indpendent adulthood - I see no place for smacking in that journey!

Had a very heated debate on here a couple weeks ago.

I'm with you on the smacking for little children who cannot be reasoned with. All mine at various times have had one as a last resort. I find as they get older I don't need to use this form of punishment.

Hmmm - laughing at the 'they don't understand words - being reasoned with - but they understand being hit' - no no no no they don't!!!!

What they understand is that mummy/daddy is angry with them I'd just love to know whether the child who is smacked for doing xyz, never does xyz again! Don't believe it for a moment

A child too small to reason with is too small to smack!

I think it is on in 5 mins after the news

so about 11am or 11.05am

I didnt say they understand being smacked (hitting is much more severe and I'm dead against it) BUT it is a kind of 'shock therapy' to be used VERY RARELY and ONLY IN EXTREME SITUATIONS (= potentially life threatening) as it otherwise would not be effective.

I've got to say when my mum smacked me I certainly thought twice about doing what I shouldn't again.

There is a big difference between smacking your child and assaulting them.

Soapbox - I think many people would agree (me too, in principle, but I have v occasionally, I am truly ashamed to say, smacked DS) - would you take that to a conclusion of actually making it a criminal act to give a child one smack with an open hand on a limb, which does not leave a mark?

I think that it would lay down a benchmark, BUT laws have to be enforcable, and I don't agree with criminalisation where education and support would do a more effective job.

NOW ON ITV1

It's on now!

Just started

Hmmm - not sure about where you would draw the line - but the very fact of criminalising it means that the impulsiveness of smacking just wouldn't be an option for many people in the way it is now.

What do you think it is that stops us whacking our DH/DPs or our friends in the pub when they nark us and make us lose our temper - its that we know it is wrong to! Clearly wrong and as such we temper our reactions!

I would hope that some time soon hitting children becomes as socially unacceptable as other forms of domestic violence is.

Unlike wife/husband beating the child does not have a choice to leave - they have to stay and face domestic violence!

It just should not be acceptable in a civilised society!

Parents who beat their kids regularly just for the pleasure of it should rightly be punished as it is clearly done as a form of abuse and not as a form of discipline. There is a difference between a smack and hitting with a fist.

94% say they should be allowed to smack

in the phone poll

Wonder what it will be at the end of programme

Can't get ITV but since we've been in Sweden (7 months) supermarket shopping is certainly less stressful - plenty of kids around but no yelling and certainly no slapping. A lot of discussion and reasoning goes on ( parents I know certainly don't give in to children) but I've rarely heard raised voices. I didn't smack anyway but have been trying methods to get the message across other than shouting. I hate raised voices.

I find it strange now on the odd visit home when I've had to brave the big Tesco or Asda store near me! I'll find it interesting if my more laid back approach still prevails when we move back in 4 weeks.

its all the old grannies voting

I think that saying "If you don't stop that, I'm going to smack you so hard", then doing it should be banned.

I don't think that smacking should be banned, but I don't think people should do it.

I asked on the recent thread what age I should start smacking DS. Sounds odd when it's put like that, don't you think?

I smack my kids all the time, if they reach up while im cooking i slap there hands, if they run out on the road i slap there hands, it doesn't hurt. Or is that not smacking, if it is and i got prosecuted i think that would be infinetly more damaging to my children. Id rather they were psychologically effected for life than with third degree burns or under a car.

I don't smack DS because after years of being a nanny and so learning to disapline children without smacking have just continued the same with DS.

We used the naughty stair instead and time out

It worked for us

But FF thats exactly my point they don't learn from it do they!

My children are not smacked and never have been, but they have never put their hands up to the cooker or stepped out on a busy road. I've taken the time to explain to them why they musn't do these things and it sunk in very quickly - faster than your smacking approach has!

If you have to smack all the time - it proves that it doesn't work[exasperated icon]

I think Swedishmums post is very interesting - perhaps all the slapping and (not really smacking hitting) causes much more bad behaviour than it cures!

Yep they do learn, they dont cry, it doesn't hurt, they had a tap on their hands and never did it again. I dont do it everyday, just in an emergency, I dont have kids constantly running out into the road if thats what you mean. A tap on the hand is sod all, i do that to an adult if they reached over to steal a biscuit.