Should parents be allowed to SMACK their child?........ Debate on ITV ........ THIS MORNING

[RTKangaMummy]

Smacking

When John Saunders' son began playing up during a shopping trip, he told the boy to behave himself. But the little boy who had rammed a trolley into his older sister, took no notice so his father gave him a slap on the legs. But only four days later John answered a knock at his front door and was confronted by two police officers. John, discovered he was under investigation for assault after a fellow shopper reported him. John joins us today, along with Denise Robertson and Carolyne Willow from the Children's Rights Alliance who believes that there should be a total ban on smacking.

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custardo, what airy fairy shite?

parp

what's parp? apart from the obvious

meanoldmummy, it is a sort of sign for a subject that has been done to death and someone can't be bothered to comment on it again. Most "parped" subjects also tend to be the ones that illicit the strongest feelings too. Inevitably they tend to be circular discussions because everyone adheres so determinedly to their own standpoint! Hope that helps.

the whole thread - airy fairy shyte

custy

Cheers

Parp parp then!!!

Ban it. There's research from Sweden to prove it does work. Also, I know that if it was banned here it would become less socially acceptable- the knock on effect alone would make it worthwhile. I occasionally smack my kids and I have to says it's because I've lost it rather than I've calmly used it as a punishment. Funny thing is I've worked as a classroom assistant, in a day nursery and as a childminder. You are not allowed to smack children if you are working with them and rightly so. But you are allowed to smack your own kids. This is crazy. I have to say I have honsetly never wanted to smack a child in my care, yet my own children are smacked sometimes. This must be because your own kids, like Heinekin, reach the parts that others can't reach. I do think the legislation should change, so what if it's largely unenforcable, the government should ban it to show their intent to protect children.

My Mum who did beat the seven colurs of shit out of particularily my brother thinks that I and my DP are really hard on DS. She saw us once nag and nag DS cos he ate something that was given to him by a friend (He has severe allergies). She actually tried to lighten the mood cos DS was upset. When I think how quick she was to raise her hands (and implments) to us it makes me laugh.

In her defense she had an incredibly hard life (no running water, no electricty and for a time no sanitation) and was at her wits end with 5 young kids.

Being at the receiving end of this has made me shy away from any kind of smacking but believe me I have been tempted. Funnily enough my sister has not and her DD used to get beaten alot eventually the smacks turned to punches. My sister was hit far more than I was so I suspect there may be a connection.

I came on here once and told you I'd smacked my DS 2, cos' he wouldn't get dressed and we were in a hurry. I felt sooooo bad. I have not smacked him since. I simply resign myself to running around like a loony for an hour. The only reason I have not done it since is because, he, at 2 is too little to understand smacking. However once he is old enough to speak properly and be reasoned with to an extent, I cannot say that I will never smack again. I did listen to the comments on here and agree that it's not really appropriate to smack a little one. But a child of 5/6 understands no and most of the reasons behind it so I don't know if I will again.

i dont think it should be made illegal or anything, every parent has a right to discipline their child how they think suitable.
BUT, i dont think its in any way helpful to the child, i think its a parent at the end of their tether. i smacked Ds in the past(13) and wouldnt say its hurt him, but i can admit i did it when id had enough. am really going to try not to use smacking with Dd (20months).

I find it really interesting that since smacking has become less acceptable, since people seem to be not allowed to discipline their children, that society seems to have gone downhill. Now we see kids out on the street corners being a nuisance, little kids swearing all over the place and treating adults with disrespect, and generally getting away with murder. Such behavior certainly wouldn't have been tolerated when I was a child.

The research that was done suggested that most children who were smacked didn't actually remembered being smacked, but those who were disciplined verbally, remembered quite clearly what had been said to them for years to come.

I was smacked as a child, and I don't believe it ever did me any harm, and I say smacked, with a hand, not a belt or slipper or shoe or any other implement which is something which I don't think should be allowed.

I have never smacked my DS, primarily because other means of discipline work better for me, but what works for one doesn't necessarily work for another, and I don't think that anyone should have a say in how parents discipline their children. smacking and hitting/beating are two different senarios, and people need to see that. Child abuce is a horrible horrible thing, but child abuce is already illegal, and people still do it. by criminalising smacking you will not stop people from abusing their children

also, those who compare smacking a child to smacking a partner, there is a vast difference. when you are married, you are, generally, equal partners, therefore, no discipline is necessary. A child needs to learn the difference between right and wrong, and therefore the comparison is totally different.

I don't want to smack my son, because I think that the message I am giving him is wrong, as per the majority of the previous posts.
I believe it is unacceptable to use violence to enforce my opinion and I believe it is unacceptable to use violence on people weaker and less able to reason than me.
I think this is pretty much covered in the laws of this country and should be extended to protect children. Why should they be given less protection in law than say the elderly or disabled?
I don't think that because children don't understand 'reason' that we as 'reasonable' people should use violence. Because of what it says about us, as much as the negative message it may give to children.
At less than say three, I think using distraction, ignoring and perhaps removing from the situation, even restraint are better more ethical ways of disciplining children.
I may smack my son, but I would feel I had done something wrong. If the law extended to protect him, it might stop me from acting in a moment of anger in way that would make me ashamed later.
Plus I could photograph and report lots of law-breaking parents and have them put in jail for years.

you really think that putting a parent in prison is in the best interest of the child?

smacking is not hitting with an impliment smacking is not the same as Domestic violence.

smacking is not beating the hsit out of a kid.

you all take it to the extreme.

smacking is not the only form of discipline

imo verbal abuse is much more damaging.

its all airy fairy farty crap

Sorry Flutterbee - this thread was my fault, i'm new to the site and after watching This Morning and hearing the debate from the woman who was pro smacking was compelled to write something and saw this topic and thought it was recent - But i do know its sensitive but as the issue is being brought to life by Tony Blair taking this issue through the courts at the moment i think its very interesting.

I totally agree to ladbrokegrove, if its not acceptable to hit other children in your care why would you want to hit your own, it is a case of in that moment nothing is working so i'll use my hands cos i know that works - the only reason it works is not to teach your child, dont do x,y,z because (the reason) but if you do it again you will get PAIN. In many cases you could argue well i tried to prevent my child from running in front of a car or putting his fingers in the pulg socet where they would be hurt physically but the actuall outcome you give them the pain instead - dont see the sense in that!

and yes people may not remeber the actuall smack's they received as children (probably becasue they have dis associated from that not so nice part of their everyday life) but the main thing the will associate is to fear you and i dont want that for my kids.

you dont smack other eople children for the same reason you don't shout at them, its not your place.

my place is to make sure my children grow up well rounded sociable employable, interesting, funny lovely human beings.

it is not my place to make sure your child grows up that way - thats your place.

"my place is to make sure my children grow up well rounded sociable employable, interesting, funny lovely human beings"

that's how mine turned out

mine aim to be exceptionally well qualified, expreienced, top of their field in mass murder.

cos i smacked them

why d'yer think mine turned out so good?

Custy, verbal abuse is the same as any abuse when it's used ubiquitously. Slapping, smacking hitting ? they?re all the same. You're right though, you can't lock parents up for smacking, there are generations of cultural influence there. I don't know what the answer is. I saw a mum smacking a boy really hard - well I saw the after effects not he smacking, he was hysterical, so was she screaming at him - a really horrible sight, outside of a tanning salon and I really didn?t know what to do. Smacking is as ubiquitous as shouting and insulting in some families; they're all the same and usually go together. Does smacking in public not arouse all our suspicions? It?s good that it does, and I?m a parent in public saying that.. I'm sure that woman I saw really though she deserved the tanning session and wasn't going to let her little boy spoil it just because she didn't have a babysitter for half an hour. That's what pissed me off, that some lie to get you to spend your money will make you smack your child. To think that you deserve better than being a mother, the greatest privilege of all (as is being a father). That some consumerist lie can invade the family so decisively really disturbs me.

it's not necessarily ubiquitous is it?

No, contingent maybe

ubiquitous is a fab word tho

I was smacked no actually flogged by my mum and it has had no adverse effect on me. I did learn about crime and punishment in a practical way.

the culture of smacking is accepted where I grew up and most of us believed that if we did what was wrong we got punished. Some just didnt do stuff because they would get smacked. very few parents smacked thier kids because they lost it.

The controlled nature of my mums smacking makes me totally disagree with the current arguments most of you put forward. I cany identify with any of it. If I ever decide to go down that route to discipline my kid, it wont be a last resort and i wont be explaining or apologising to strangers for my choice. My mum didnt smack in public very often (she usually waited till we got home) because she figured it might be embarassing for the child and its a form of punishment not public spectacle.

Right now he thinks smack is a great great big wet kiss on the cheek and i'd like to keep it like that.

Is there any study which PROVES that most offenders, bullies and criminals were smacked or that there is a direct link? Empirical evidence is a better basis for argument.