Son signed up for Army training without telling us

[anotherglass]

My 20-year-old son, who is at university studying engineering, has signed up for University Officer Training. He has signed a contract and undergone a medical. We only found out last night.
He is a young man who loves Leonard Cohen, plays the guitar and enjoys building electrical systems. Now he’ll be learning parachuting, marksmanship and how to shoot at targets.
I understand the appeal. Around £50 a week, exciting training, new friendships, adventure, mountaineering, climbing and paid overseas trips. For a young person at university, it must sound like an extraordinary opportunity.
At present, these reservists cannot be deployed. But in the current climate, I am deeply uneasy about how secure that assurance really is, and how quickly this position could change.
I haven’t yet managed to speak to him properly about it. But I am deeply troubled that the possibility of a change in status, including being redesignated and potentially becoming deployable, does not appear to have been made sufficiently clear at the outset.
A quick search online suggests that there is already discussion within parts of the military about getting a greater return on the investment in training university officers by making them deployable. If that is a possibility, surely young people need to understand it before they sign a contract — not simply be told about it if the rules change later.
This is what troubles me most. A package of pay, training, adventure and belonging can be enormously attractive to a 20-year-old. But the potential obligations and risks deserve equal prominence.
I know my son is an adult, and I respect his right to make his own decisions. But I am his mum, and the thought that he could one day be called upon to serve in a conflict — when that possibility is not something we had understood to be part of the deal — is genuinely frightening. Anyone else in the same position? Any thoughts on how to navigate this with son?

If your son is studying engineering, surely the Army would be making use of those skills, not putting him on the front line?

He’s an adult. That’s it. You no longer have any say.
My brother joined the army without telling anyone until after he came home from signing up. My mum was shocked but in some ways it was the making of him. He served in Northern Ireland and Bosnia/Croatia.

You never know, he may make a really good career choice out of it, and join as a full-timer. A couple of women I know are officers in the forces and love it.

If there is a war, then a lot of our young people may be called upon to serve in the military. The ones who have had a better training are more likely to cope well with this and indeed survive ( according to my son, who was a cadet at school).

At the same time, I completely understand you feeling concerned about your son.

Good for him. I wish him all the best.

I haven't spoken to him yet. But he has never expressed a desire to join the Army. He's been desperate to get a job or do an internship to boost his CV. He may be an adult but kids in this situation are also vulnerable to marketing, which underplays the truth that they could be called up to the frontlin. University Officer Training Corps | The British Army

I understand why you are frightened.

however ultimately your son is an adult.

if he is studying engineering it’s very likely that the army will want to make use of his skills and he will be doing jobs related to that.

You have no say in it. He'll have a good job and no debts after his degree. As pp have said he's not going to be on the front line.

what does front line even mean

UTOs are more likely to be called up ahead of the general population because of their training. I haven't spoken to son but I doubt he asked about this possibility. I am sickened at the thought of him learning how to shoot.

you are having a totally natural reaction op.

He's a young adult who is looking to earn some extra cash. The Army is clear that this is voluntary and there is no contractual obligation to be deployed. However, the Army does not make clear that this position could change. Those people who are signing up are not being given the full picture about the strategic use of these officers and how things could change. This is very hard for me to deal with.

Thank you x

Absolutely this.

In this age of very precarious employment prospects for graduates I applaud your son for thinking ahead to the possibility of making a career that will use his academic background in a rewarding future. Our nation needs to be defended - if not your son then who?? YABVU

Good for him. With his skills I very much doubt he’ll be in the trenches OP, far more likely sitting by a computer somewhere. If we went to war why wouldn’t you want your DS to help defend the country?

I can absolutely understand your reaction, not just because of the dangers you fear but because it feels like a character shift and has come out of the blue.
I would share your concern about him being trained to shoot other people.

It may be that he has been concerned about employability when he graduates and feels this might look good on his CV.

He is of course an adult and a free agent.

Very hard to be rationale on this when part of the training is battleground skills. He will be taught how to use a gun and battlefield skills.

Please could everyone take a look at the website promoting the University Officer Training programme and tell me what you think? University Officer Training Corps | The British Army
The emphasis seems to be very much on the benefits: the training, the adventure, the opportunities, the skills and the experiences on offer. It all looks incredibly appealing to a 20-year-old at university.
But where is the clear explanation of the potential obligations? Where does it say, prominently and unambiguously, that their status could change, that they could potentially be redesignated and become deployable, or that the Army may regard them as part of a strategic reserve?
If these are genuine possibilities, shouldn't they be explained just as clearly as the benefits — before a young person signs a contract and commits themselves?
I'm not questioning the value of training or a young person's right to make their own decisions. I'm questioning whether they are being given the full picture.
If you are going to promote the adventure, you also need to be upfront about the obligations and risks.

I was in the OTC at university - it was brilliant fun. Went on training exercises at weekends and longer camps during university vacations. I learned lots of practical skills and got incredibly fit. The mess dinners were absolutely legendary too!

You do end up on the reserve list for 20 years after you resign, but frankly you are WAY down the list and if they are calling up ex-OCs then we are talking a general mobilisation anyway.

My friend's daughter had joined up before she told her parents. She is a musician with no interest in the military beforehand but she saw an opportunity to have a good career and see the world with her music. She's loving it.

Yes, he is very much concerned about his employability. He has been applying for internships without success. I am so sad at the thought that he might get pulled into something much bigger and awful inadvertently because he was simply trying to boost his CV.

You really think your 20yo University student is too stupid to realise there are risks if he joins the Army?

Well, assuming that your son isn’t really thick, then he’ll surely be aware of this. He’s made a decision, he wants to do it and I’m sure he’s weighed up the risks. Learning to shoot and do this kind of training is great fun for a 20 year and may lead to future opportunities. As someone has said, if people who have been on these courses get called up then you’re not far from a general mobilisation (that hasn’t happened since the Second World War).

Don’t you know anyone in the forces OP? Everyone undergoes basic training, including firearms and battlefield skills, first. Then they specialise. OTC has specialist arms - he may go into the engineer or signals platoons of his OTC, or he may stick with infantry or artillery - his choice.

I find it bizarre that learning to shoot upsets you so much, my DS learned to shoot in scouts when he was 10. I learned to shoot on the farm at the same age. Learning to shoot is a perfectly normal thing for millions of children let alone 20 year olds!

the thought that he could one day be called upon to serve in a conflict — when that possibility is not something we had understood to be part of the deal — is genuinely frightening

Did you mean to type ‘he’ here?